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Guest Message © 2015 DevFuse

Well now I've gone and made it all awkward

Posted by LLajax, 26 February 2012 · 1,382 views

So it was recently my mother's birthday. Like a good little offspring, I sent her a card and called her. My younger sibling, rebrobate that he is, forgot (or chose not to?), despite reminders from me and our dad. Alas. Now he's gone incommunicado and the current parental theory is that he's avoiding contact because he'd have to awkwardly address the belated birthday thing.

I of course, assured them that this probably wasn't the case and that his phone or something probably died. Then, I logged into my email and considered whether or not it was too late to email my POI. Which sort of made me realize its the same situation. So much for being the good sibling.

That probably doesn't make any sense, so I'll explain what I'm getting my knickers all in a twist about: A week and a half ago, I got website notification that I got into my dream school. Yay! But it was just online, no email or anything from the DGS or my POI. For the first couple days, I was still in shock-mode, and unwillling to email anyone at the school in fear (terror) that they'd rescind their offer. Now, I realize that its probably unlikely (though stilll odd that I haven't heard from them otherwise, right?) So I should email my POI right? Generally, I figure that she's an awfully busy person, and that if she wanted to talk to me, she'd have done it. And last week, I rationalized that she was certainly busy with CAAs (big art historian conference). This week, I'm running out of rationalizations, and full of legitimate questions about the school/program/city/etc. But...now it is all awkwardly belated. I'm like my younger brother avoiding calling my mom- and its only getting worse as I wait (is it?) So I've worked myself up into even more confusion. Do I email her? Do I wait until I hear something else from the school, until I officially accept, until I hear back from other schools? What do I say to her? It is a small program, what if someone noticed I was being awkwardly quite and just decided to pipe up two weeks after the fact. Le sigh. Proof I can make myself nervous about anything.

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Congratulations! To alleviate your anxiety, just shoot an email to the graduate program coordinator in the dept and ask them. They are more likely to respond quicker than the POI. And if that doesn't do it for you, then just email the POI. It doesn't hurt to ask. The worst that will happen is you don't get a response. Then just wait for the official notification from the graduate school.
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Ah, thanks TropicalCharlie! That's good advice- also for some reason I'm not as terrified to email the grad program coordinator as I am to email my POI. I've spent a week and a half agonizing over whether or not to email her, but managed to write the email to the grad coordinator in sub-20 minutes.
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Me too! I've recently e-mailed my POI (this is a month after the e-mail notification that I was accepted, lol) to ask a few questions. He replied that he is super busy this week and he will get back to me later.
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I think emailing your POI after being accepted would be fine!!! To be honest, I emailed my POI recently(After my application was submitted and marked as complete) to talk about similar interests since I can't really find anyone else at my school with much experience on the subject. It is a little late but even if I am not accepted this round I will have a chance to have some guidance from now until next year.
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Congratulations on the acceptance!
Don't worry about contacting the POI - just email her with your questions (or a request to have a chat on skype or a meeting, ir you live close by). Explain that you understand she might be busy with the conference or whatnot but you are very excited about this offer and would like to clarify some details.

If you're not going to visit, I highly recommend having a phone conversation to test the chemistry between the two of you. I'd also recommend asking to speak with some of your POI's current students. Phone is better than email because it doesn't leave a written documentation of what people said so you are likelier to get honest opinions.
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I will sounds hypocritical for saying this, as I am a lot like you, but you are waaaay over-thinking this. Just send the e-mail. You are over-thinking it way more than your POI is; in fact, I guarantee the POI hasn't even thought twice about it. And if they have, they probably assume you are busy (which is good) because they probably are, too.
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