It has been several months since I last wrote in here so I guess I should start this entry with a brief update. Basically last application season did not work out. I interviewed at one school (which I thought went really well) and ended up getting on the waitlist for 4 schools (including the one I interviewed at). However, in the end I had to wait until well after April 15th to find out that I did not get in anywhere. I spent a few days weeks dealing with the disappointment, but then I had to face the fact that this is how it is and to move on. So I am...well mostly. I am human after all.
So now I am starting my fourth round of applications. Yes, you read that right, fourth. Each round I have improved my application, which has yielded more favorable results by the adcoms (more waitlists, etc.) but I haven't gotten the actual PhD acceptance letter yet. Have I mentioned that there are no glaring flaws with my application? I have had numerous people tell me that it basically was just down to bad luck that my app wasn't chosen. And yes, it is frustrating and at times I wonder why I am doing this to myself. But to put it simply, I have done a lot of soul searching and I know for a fact that if I give up on this, I will regret it down the line. So I reapply, hoping and praying that this time it will work out in my favor. And in the meantime, I continue to improve my application so that eventually it will. I am a stubborn one after all. :-)
I started blogging here several years ago because I wanted to document my experiences. I needed an outlet to express my feelings with others who really understood where I was coming from, and I think this year I will need that more than ever. Although this cycle has just started it already has been emotionally tough for me, and I know that it will most likely just get worse. But I think that's an entry for another day.