It's been a bit of a wild one, since this week was my first one back in classes after the winter break. Despite the sleep deprivation that usually comes with trying to get back into the rhythm of classes, I got through the week with a minimum of stress.
I currently attend a commuter school and - because of Houston's traffic issues and my particular school's appalling parking situation - I have to get up at 5 to get to campus. The upside to this is that there's nothing to do on campus at that hour besides going to the gym. Thus, I am forced to exercise everyday I head in to school. Bad for my sleep, but good for my health, I guess!
My workout time in the morning is also good my mental state, though. Because of the uneven nature of course offerings in my field at my current program, I'm taking a full course load in addition to writing my MA thesis this semester. Considering how wild my semester usually are, just trying to stay on top of my normal workload, I had a moment this week during which I began freaking out over how I was ever going to finish my thesis by April.
Running around the track, though, is weirdly therapeutic and calming, and I started building a daily/weekly schedule in my head (later transferred to the computer for safekeeping!) as I wheezed my way around the gym. My workload is definitely manageable...as long as I stick to the schedule. I'm realizing that I'll have to be more disciplined than ever this semester.
Thankfully (and miraculously!), in the middle of all this stressing about the semester at hand, I almost forgot to obsess about the horrible wait for PhD admission results! I've still checked the results on this site everyday, and have been checking my email rather more than usual...but I seem to have replaced one stressor for another! Not sure that's completely healthy, but I'll take it.
That said, I was rockclimbing (as a study break!) this afternoon, and afterwards saw I had a missed call and voice mail from an area code containing one of my top-choice schools. My heart started pounding immediately, and I had butterflies in my stomach as I checked the message...it was a wrong number, naturally! I had a little laugh about it, but I still wish it had been from a POI!
Hopefully, my determinedly distracted mindset will last the next couple of weeks. This weekend is sort of the eve of potential admissions decisions. The earliest any of my programs notified anyone (on this site) last year was January 21st, which is two days from now. And while I'm not expecting to hear anything this week (or even possibly the week after), a not-so-small part of my brain is fervently hoping that I will hear something positive in a few days.
Those hopeful, positive thoughts are something I almost don't dare to speak out loud. Maybe it's a superstitious thing, but I almost feel like I'd be jinxing myself if I was to talk about any of my programs with confidence. I'll start imagining receiving an "admitted!" letter/email from my dream schools, and try to cut myself off. Sometimes I almost feel like expressing my wishes will prevent them from becoming realities.
Do any of you guys feel uncomfortable verbalizing or dreaming about your hopes for admissions decisions? How are your semesters going? Anyone else potentially hearing back from schools this week?
Hope this entry finds you all well! Good luck with classes, the waiting game, and your applications!