So, I think I've moved beyond the stomach-churning anxiety of January, and am now into the February waiting-it-out blues. I'm resigned to the fact that checking my inboxes (yes, plural - apparently from a perverse need to torture myself, I gave out two different email addresses - ugh) every five minutes isn't going to speed anything up. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still do that; it's just that now it's more of a tic rather than driven by hopeful optimism.
I've been invited to two interview weekends so far, and have had a third request for a phone interview. But given that none of these are actual offers, it does nothing to stop me biting my nails. Especially since I've all but given in my notice at work - I plan to travel from April 'till school starts in the fall, and everyone at work knows this (because I can't keep my mouth shut about grad school, apparently). So yeah, worst case scenario, I have to no job, no school offers, no plan.. so no pressure there
To add to that, this is my second time applying - last year I applied to 6 PhD programs and was roundly rejected by most of them. But more about that later.
I know everyone says this, but it really is an emotional rollercoaster. When I got that first invitation to visitors weekend, I literally shed a few happy tears (they noticed me! I may have a chance!) but it was quickly replaced by doubt and certain unavoidable facts (they're inviting several candidates, I'm just one of many, what if I don't even like the school? etc).
Ah well. At least it's nice to know I'm not alone in this self-imposed torment. We'll make it through this! (maybe sans a little sanity)
Oh, and to pass the time, I've been making handmade thank-you cards to my LOR writers. It's fun, and I like to think it's more meaningful and conveys my appreciation more than a generic card. I know people on here have asked if it's appropriate to send thank-you gifts (it's not, IMO) and I think this is a nice balance between a gift and a regular card. I recommend it