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If I Had a Time Machine

iExcelAtMicrosoftPuns

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If I had a time machine.

My time machine would be a sledgehammer: just a sledgehammer. Nothing elaborate. To operate it I’d stick it between my legs (like a Harry Potter riding his Firebolt) and swish off to a far away time. Or perhaps I’d stand on the hammer. I dunno, I’ll let the engineers and the designers debate. This TimeHammerMachine would smash through dimensions and temporal structure, to hell with paradox… I smash paradox. How? I’ll let the physics and philosophy students explain.

Meanwhile – my plan!

I’d go back to that Argumentation class. It was super easy – why didn’t I just follow the directions and video tape myself in the communications lab? It dropped my grade from an A to an A -.

I bet the grad committees are looking at that A- and saying, “HA! Bowties can’t even get an A in this 100 level class. How is he ever going to change the world?!?!?” (That’s what we’re doing right, didn’t we all sign up to change the world?)

Of course it’s hyperbole… I can’t change the world.

Classic misdirection! Seriously: we can all change the world. And the committees won’t care about an A minus THAT much.

(This blog has been brought to you by the font Trebuchet MS: Exterminate Smash In Style)




4 Comments


Guest Gnome Chomsky

Posted

if I had a time machine, cave women. No doubt. 

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I constantly think of all the things in the past I would change if I had a time machine... perhaps I have too many regrets. Or am just unhappy with life in general. Oh well. I digress...  an A- is still a really good grade! =) 

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