Wanted to offer my two cents on the mental health/application cycle/rejection conversation. I haven’t posted here regularly in years but maybe I can give some comfort or clarity or companionship to some people.
This is my sixth year applying. My first year: nothing. My second year: alternate at Indiana. My third year: interview at Ohio and shortlisted at UCSD, Yale told me to apply with a fuller resume and held my application open for a year. My fourth year: shortlisted at UCSD and accepted at a Texas institution. Also a Jerome finalist.
I went to the aforementioned program in Texas for one year but left after they refused to stage my plays: too violent, too queer, too whatever, too offensive to donors. Okay.
My fifth year applying, while enrolled as an MFA student, I was invited out to UCLA to meet with the faculty and was ghosted shortly after. A program, which I won’t name, invited me to apply without me expressing interest but later rejected me because the content of my plays. I understand this much more than the program wherein I was previously enrolled and hold no ill will.
Last year between cycles, I met with higher ups at a prestigious institution and was told to apply and was told they’d come check out my work. They did not and then flatly rejected me this year.
This year, my sixth, I interviewed with CMU then rejected. Waiting to hear from UCSD and Brown but I have low hopes.
All this to say...
Things are complicated. If you’re wondering how can I do this again or struggling with the pain of rejection, know it’s okay and okay meaning a plurality of things: fucked up, normal, political, and not a blanket indicator of talent.
I’ll apply again next year but until then I’ll continue producing my own work and doing what I want. This does not always make me feel better.
In the year since I’ve left that Texas institution, I’ve produced two plays, performed in two productions and am now gearing up to produce and direct a charity festival. This also does not always soothe the pain of rejection.
I imagine others have similar stories. I hope I’ve refrained from badmouthing any programs as my experience is not anyone else’s. Just wanted to touch on the common pain of rejection.