Hi everyone,
I've been lurking on these forums for a while but I'm finally making my first post because I've got a bit of a dilemma.
I'll admit, it's not a bad problem to have: I've been fortunate enough to be accepted to two fantastic engineering PhD programs. School A is a well-established, top 5 program with several tenured faculty within my field of interest. On the other hand, School B is a younger, lower-ranked (top 25) program that doesn't have as much of a presence in my field yet, but they've been actively recruiting new faculty over the last 5 years to make up the difference.
The problem is that my partner, who's applying to graduate programs too, got into School B but not School A. Normally I'd agree with the advice "don't choose a grad school just for your significant other", but we're getting married next month, and staying together (even if we have to live apart) is our top priority.
The two schools are about an hour or two apart, so theoretically either we could live on separate campuses and visit each other every weekend, or we could live in the middle and both commute. It would be a little hard logistically, since we only have one car between the two of us right now and I'm not sure if we could afford a second one on top of renting two residences, but we could make it work if we wanted to. I'm just not sure whether it would really be worth it.
I went to both of the visit weekends and identified several POIs who I could potentially see myself working with. (The ones at School B aren't tenured, though - I'm not sure whether that would be an issue.) Demographically and geographically, both programs are very similar, and there's a lot of industry in the entire region (I haven't decided what my plans after graduation are, but I'm leaning towards industry right now). Honestly, my biggest hangup is the "prestige" - I'm worried that going to the "lower-ranked" program will adversely affect my career prospects compared to the "higher-ranked" one. How much do things like that really matter in the long run?
TL;DR Is going to a top 5 (versus a top 25) PhD program really worth spending the first two years of our marriage living apart and/or commuting for two hours a day each?