SpaceCowboy

I'm doing well in my program, finished up my masters and now have PhD student status. But I really hate being a TA. I don't get anything out of teaching (except a lowly paycheck). It's not the most unpleasant job I've had, but it's not inspiring or satisfying. I basically fear the upcoming discussion section every week. I don't really care about helping students. I just do my job because it's paying my rent and tuition. Most of them like my classes (according to the feedback surveys) so at least I seem to be covering up my misery pretty well. I just wish that I could devote my time and energy toward research and writing instead of dealing with confused freshmen. Seeing how clueless the incoming kids are makes me feel like a hamster running around in a wheel - all the work I did before means nothing. It doesn't build to anything. It's not cumulative. It's like the building gets knocked down every semester and you have to make a new one. That's not fun for me. So my big question is if I hate this part of the job why stay in a PhD program that isn't preparing me for other job opportunities? And my program definitely doesn't make any effort to prepare us for any jobs outside academia (even though they exist). I like the idea of getting a PhD and I like learning and writing. And if I continue I could get a grant to go do field research abroad (which is what drew me to my field). But I do not want to work in education. I find it completely soul-sucking and it's like a little part of me dies every week. This kind of misery could only only be justified for a 6-figure paycheck, and even then for only a short period of time. Clearly I'm probably not going to get that as a professor anytime soon, if ever. I'm struggling with this because I love having summers off and find it ridiculous that anyone works a job where they have to work in between Christmas and New Years. But maybe that vacation time where I can't afford to go anywhere anyway isn't really worth it.