JustWantToHelp

Hi Babadook, I would suggest cutting down your statement. Longer isn't always better. It is important to remember that Admission committees have nearly a thousand applicants each year. A good statement is usually short and concise. All of the information is already written, you just need to cut your statement down and decide which parts you believe best supports your portfolio submission. For example If I was to start your essay I would lose the quote, your quote isn't supporting the idea of seeking inspiration in beauty.: For ten years I have collected films and music and enjoy sharing this passion with my surrounding community and social media. I cannot resist but seek inspiration in anything I believe is beautifully designed. After graduating from (insert college name) with a degree in fashion design, I started working with Manish Arora, an international fashion designer. At my job I helped create prints and embroidery patterns. (explain how this experience helped you towards the designs you are making today. Design isn't just about beauty, it makes a statement. What statement is your work in your portfolio trying to make?). A statement is not about your work history. A statement is about your portfolio and the experiences that explain why you do what you are doing. What is your portfolio all about. I hope the above edits will help you towards writing your statement. Good luck with your application One year into the job, I decided to explore further and started freelancing as a fashion stylist and digital illustrator for Men’s Health and Business Today magazine(I would assume this is already mentioned in your CV you don't need to repeat it in your statement). Out on a sourcing day for a shoot for Men’s Health, I reached the design studio of Lecoanet Hemant, an Indo-French brand based in Delhi whose workspace and culture (which culture? the french or Indo-French?) fascinated me. I applied for the position of Graphic Designer, and by the end of an amazing four years, I was leading the LH graphic department with a team of six designers. Lecoanet Hemant really groomed (groomed is not a positive word, I would suggest replacing it with mentored me) me as a digital designer, team leader, project manager, and creative problem solver.