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I'm applying for biology programs as well and I enjoy editing; send it my way either here, as PM, or a link to a google document, and I will be sure to take a look.

No problem! I have actually already sat the exam but I appreciate the offer! Good luck!

Understandable! Good luck on your admissions; with your experience, I think if you can make a good connection with a faculty member you stand a good shot.

Are you looking at MS or PhD programs? If you are applying to PhDs, i would consider an MS first if at all possible (at least applying to a few, just in case). Since it seems clear that you are on an upward trend, you would likely do well in an MS program, a good Master's GPA will make your application to PhD programs extremely strong. Your application in general looks good except for your GPA and GRE. Unfortunately there's not much to be done about the GPA unless some school ask for last 60 credit hours. But is there any way to get your GRE up, especially your quant? I am concerned you might be filtered out. Reaching out to faculty ahead of time will help mitigate that, but it's still possible. Good luck!

Issue Essay One strength of this essay is that you give a clear and distinct reasons for why you have taken the position that a formalized education can in fact allow for freedom. You discuss how learning concrete knowledge and skills allows students to interact with the world, which in itself is a kind of freedom, and how this is a necessary base for students to have if they wish to be free. Additionally, your concluding sentence brings the concept from this singular question to one that relates more to the outside world: whether education has any duty to provide freedom at all. One major flaw in your essay is your third paragraph. This paragraph does not address the given prompt, and should not be included. The prompt does not ask you to state whether restricting your mind is more desirable than setting it free. You should only address the question asked; everything else is irrelevant, and detrimental to your score. Additionally, there are some organizational and grammar errors that make this essay a little difficult to read. I would say that your Argument essay was a bit better organized, and you should try to structure this Issue essay similarly to that one. By this, I mean that each paragraph should start with a claim, be followed by evidence or reasoning to support your claim, and conclude with why this evidence or reasoning does in fact support your claim. Finally, you should have a more clear introductory and concluding paragraph. Your definition of a formalized education should come in your intro, so that you don't have to interrupt yourself. Your intro should also clearly end with a statement of your position. Right now, you state that a formalized education restrains the mind, but the rest of your essay seems to argue that it instead shapes the mind to be ready for knowledge, or at least restrains it in order to train it to be free. Be more clear about how much you agree or disagree, (again, NOT whether you believe this is a good thing or a bad thing). Your final few sentences ("For this reason and those outlined above..." onward) should be its own paragraph, and should be your conclusion. Overall this essay clearly shows that you have a position on the topic, and approaches a clear statement of that position, but some off-topic analysis and arguments muddy the clarity of your argument a little bit. Based on the GRE scoring guidelines I would give this essay a 3. Score 3: is vague or limited in addressing the specific task directions and in presenting or developing a position on the issue or both is weak in the use of relevant reasons or examples or relies largely on unsupported claims is limited in focus and/or organization has problems in language and sentence structure that result in a lack of clarity contains occasional major errors or frequent minor errors in grammar, usage or mechanics that can interfere with meaning

Argument Essay This is a good essay. A few key strengths are that you clearly state both alternative theories and what evidence would be needed to support either your theory or the author's theory. This clearly addresses the prompt, especially the part where it asks you to state not only what evidence is needed but how that evidence would weaken or strengthen the theory. Your transitions between paragraphs are good, and you have a strong concluding paragraph which quickly sums up the main claims presented to you. However, your essay reads as a little bit disorganized. Each paragraph should clearly state one claim made, the evidence needed to support it, and how that evidence affects the claim. Instead, you tend to present the influence of the claim before the evidence needed. For example, see below. Along with the arguments regarding transportation, the author of the argument must prove, no methods of trade or communication existed between Lithos or Palea. If a method of trade existed between the villiages then the baskets could still be unique to Palea, that is made in Palea, by Palean people, but existing in Lithos as a sold commodity. This would again, defy the logic of the arguer as trade can allow objects to move and still contain unique properties across a space. In order to prove trade could not have existed between the village of Palea and Lithos the author should prove no foreign traders visited both villages or state evidence to prove no trade existed between both villages, or multiple. Sentence 1: What claim must be supported. Sentence 2: An alternative claim. Sentence 3: How the evidence would influence the argument. Sentence 4: Evidence needed. The evidence needed should come before its influence; the influence should be the last sentence. Additionally, a different introductory paragraph might be in order. Your current introduction discusses only one of the lines of evidence which you pursue. A general introduction which states only that you are going to evaluate several arguments without necessarily naming them may be more helpful for getting your reader in the proper mindset for your essay. Otherwise, there are a few very minor spelling and grammar errors. Your essay reads fluently overall and you clearly have a good grasp of basic writing techniques, as well as a clear sense of what claims are unsupported. Organization is your biggest area to work on, in my opinion. Based on the GRE scoring guidelines, I would give your essay a 4.5. With better organization, this could easily be a 5 essay. Score 4: identifies and analyzes important features of the argument develops and organizes ideas satisfactorily, but may not connect them with transitions supports the main points of the critique demonstrates sufficient control of language to express ideas with reasonable clarity generally demonstrates control of the conventions of standard written English, but may have some errors Score 5: clearly identifies important features of the argument and analyzes them in a generally perceptive way develops ideas clearly, organizes them logically and connects them with appropriate transitions sensibly supports the main points of the critique demonstrates control of language, including appropriate word choice and sentence variety demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English, but may have minor errors

Undergrad Institution: Private R1, ~#100 in BiologyMajor(s): Biology, Applied MathematicsMinor(s): NoneGPA in Major: 3.85 Biology, 3.90 MathOverall GPA: 3.90Position in Class: GoodType of Student: Domestic female, Asian-AmericanGRE Scores (revised):Q: 165 (practice)V: 165 (practice)W: - B: n/aResearch Experience: 3 years in a functional morphology lab, working essentially at the level of a Master's student in terms of independence and self-driven project. 1 conference poster, first author 1 conference talk, first author Awards/Honors/Recognitions: Schoolwide fellowship Departmental fellowship Various academic achievement awards (Dean's List, Dean's Scholars, etc.) Pertinent Activities or Jobs: Undergrad biology TA Undergrad physics TA Any Miscellaneous Accomplishments that Might Help: Graduate classes in population biology and applied math Special Bonus Points: Very strong LORs Any Other Info That Shows Up On Your App and Might Matter: I'm applying with a very heavily quantitative background into evolutionary biology programs. While the labs I'm applying to are mostly theoretical (i.e. mathematical), it's rare for applicants to have both majors instead of just one, and I'm hoping that gives me a significant edge. Applying to Where: All EEB departments. UT AustinMichigan State University University of Chicago University of Arizona Arizona State University

I know this is a few weeks old, but I would be happy to read it as well.

Hello! I would like to help, but I am unable to access your document. Could you perhaps post it here instead?

One strength of the essay is that you provide multiple reasons to back up the claim that a universal curriculum may not be necessarily beneficial. For example, you discuss both students who are ahead of base level and behind base level, and how the curriculum would affect them both negatively. Additionally, you address future concerns for students, i.e. that they might find themselves ill-equipped to carve out their own curriculum when the time comes. The essay you have written does clearly address the topic and gives a circumstances and reasonings as to why you do not support a national curriculum. However, I identify a few main problems with the essay. The most obvious is that it reads like a non-native speaker. I don't know how heavily this will factor into their scoring, but it is clear that while you have strong competency and comprehension of English, your writing skills are not quite fluent. There are a few awkward phrasings and obviously inappropriately used words, for example "to learn a lot of lore", "crossword erudition", "spectrum of lores". Rather than "lore" I believe you mean to use the word "subject" or "material". You do not clearly state your position. While you say "it is not without problems", all your arguments seem to indicate that you are strongly against a national curriculum. State this clearly and directly. Your concluding sentence clearly shows your reasoning, but again, does not state your position. You should make it clear that you feel a universal curriculum does not satisfy your criteria for a good curriculum. Your second paragraph is very difficult to understand, to the point where I am not sure what you're trying to say. I understand that the time constraint is stressful, but try to word your points more simply. They want to see that you can outline a logical and clear thought process, and using complex words inappropriately will not help this point. Your third paragraph contains little explanation or evidence for your claim. While you do not need direct evidence of course since you cannot cite anything, it would be helpful to expand a little upon how a curriculum that is not a national curriculum might better prepare students for academic success later on. With all this in mind, and looking at the GRE scoring guidelines, I would give your current response a score of 3. Score 3: A 3 response demonstrates some competence in addressing the specific task directions, in analyzing the issue and in conveying meaning, but is obviously flawed. A typical response in this category exhibits ONE OR MORE of the following characteristics: is vague or limited in addressing the specific task directions and in presenting or developing a position on the issue or both is weak in the use of relevant reasons or examples or relies largely on unsupported claims is limited in focus and/or organization has problems in language and sentence structure that result in a lack of clarity contains occasional major errors or frequent minor errors in grammar, usage or mechanics that can interfere with meaning