25 replies to this topic

[ANDS!]

Can someone give me advice? I don't even know what I'm asking, but some reassurance at the very least would be appreciated.

If these students don't warm up to you for artificial reasons - f*** em. Let them stew in their jealousy (and there probably will be folks there who deep down have issues, that they wont vocalize - and shouldn't). Plain as that. You are there because you are just as good as they are, regardless of age. I could see if this were a Psych program, or something where "life experience" is something valued in an applicant.

Anyone else have the experience of class in a bar?

o_0 I doubt this is something most people should have to worry about; and that if it did happen, it would happen for a VERY small class and be something spur of the moment. I - wouldn't be worried about it.

[TeaGirl]

Can someone give me advice? I don't even know what I'm asking, but some reassurance at the very least would be appreciated.

I went to do my Master's right after college when I was 21 years old. I may have been the youngest there (not sure) but I think most grad students are generally welcoming and looking to make friends. I have a bit of a shyness issue, and it took me a while to sort that out. Most of the closest friends I'd made were significantly older than me, by at least 5 years, and a few over 10 years older from completely different walks of life. My advice is not to focus so much on the differences between you, but just take it in stride. Just pay attention to whatever they're saying, talk about your own experiences (You are not too young. Your experiences matter) and don't focus or worry so much on what you ought to be doing or saying. Try to get involved in a few student activities/trips and invite them to come along, or suggest a group get-together at a coffee shop or restaurant so you all can get better aquainted.


And if someone is being unfriendly or making you feel unwelcome, then that person is simply not worth wasting an effort on!

And trust me, those who've been out school for a few years also worry about coping with classes and studying again. Everyone comes in with a few confidence issues. Given the fact that you've finished your degree and are going to grad school so quickly tells me that you'll fit right in at your grad school.

[ekans]

Can someone give me advice? I don't even know what I'm asking, but some reassurance at the very least would be appreciated.

I posted this about a year ago. Since starting in my program, I've tried to keep a lid on the age issue--I never ask about anybody else's age, nor do I actively offer mine. But word does spread pretty quickly, and unfortunately the 'telephone effect' can result in distorted versions being passed around through the grapevine. I've mostly learned to deal with it by disregarding any disparaging comments that anyone tosses at me. It was wonderful to realize that if the worst things anyone could say about me were remarks about physical characteristics that I can't change, I was in pretty good shape! You're definitely not alone. Feel free to PM if you'd like to vent.

Edit: Also, not being able to go drinking isn't necessarily a bad thing. If your diet is anything like mine (i.e., terrible), then cutting out those useless carbs + not being hungover for work/class the next day isn't a bad deal, I'd say.

Edited by ekans, 09 April 2012 - 02:22 AM.

[juilletmercredi]

I was the youngest person in my primary cohort, and one of the youngest people in my secondary cohort. My primary field is also not one that normally accepts people straight out of undergrad. I'm doing just fine I had the same fears, but if they accepted you it's because they thought you had an appropriate background. Do the reading, take your time and build some confidence.

As for socializing…that was different. I did hang out with the next oldest person in my cohort, but she had a habit of reminding me how young I was (among other undesirable traits) so we don't hang out much anymore. The other people in my program didn't really have the same recreational interests as me when I was just 22 - so while I would definitely say we were friends and I am still friendly with them all, and we got together for studying and at each other's houses, I sought out a base of friends outside my cohort to party with. The master's students at my institution were closer in age and more diverse racially, so I was able to find some peers who still wanted to party the way I did my first couple years here. Most of my friends are still master's students who are outside of my cohort, but closer in age to me. (Not as much partying, though. Mostly we study together, and chill out.)

Jealousy wasn't really a problem, except from the one student who kept reminding me how much of a "baby" I am (really, she was only 3 years older than me, and everyone else in the program was older than her). All of the other students were friendly and welcoming and treated me like an equal.

I will say, Ekans is right about the grapevine distorting things. I was never very forthcoming with my age - I would only share if people asked me - but somehow me being 22 and coming straight from undergrad managed to mutate into me being a child prodigy who was a 19-year-old doctoral student. (Seriously. An MPH student I did not know very well asked my name, and when I told her, another MPH student who I knew as an acquaintance told her that I was only 19 and a child prodigy. I have no idea where she got that from. This was also my second or third year in the program, lol.)

Edited by juilletmercredi, 09 April 2012 - 03:15 AM.

[starbelliedsneetch]

i'm 21 and in an ma/phd program. like ekans said, do not ever ask anyone their age nor offer your own age (unless asked, then be honest). keep a low profile about age related stuff (don't say "oh, a high school reunion! whats that like?"), don't be obnoxious, and you'll be fine. often, when people find out how old i am after knowing me or working with me for a bit they express shock, saying things like "oh you seem so mature! i thought you were at least 25!"

another important factor has to do with how you dress and present yourself. if you're worried about being taken seriously, dress well (and professionally) every single day. it's very superficial and it shouldn't matter, but the sad truth is that it does make quite a difference. pay attention to what folks in their mid to late 20s are wearing, and emulate them.

[sociologo]

i'm 21 and in an ma/phd program.

I love your username.