aojfifjoaisjaiosdj Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Hi everyone. I emailed a professor asking for a LOR two weeks ago (I forwarded it to her again a week ago) but I haven't gotten a response yet. I really need one from this particular professor, and my application will be a lot weaker without her influence. And it's hard for me to see her in person because I have a class during her office hours. What do you guys suggest I should do? Is it possible she hates me now and just won't reply just to be a jerk? Should I skip class and see her during her office hours? I'm scared she'll say no and it'll be really embarrassing. I have other letter writers I can go to in that case, but in any case, it's kinda rude not to reply to someone for 2 weeks (and counting). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzylogician Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 What do you guys suggest I should do? Is it possible she hates me now and just won't reply just to be a jerk? No. Seriously, students tend to obsess about their professors more than professors tend to think about their students. (Or, in other words, no offense, but you are probably not that special. Unless you did something outrageous, she doesn't hate you because she doesn't think about you that much to begin with.) Email again to ask for an appointment, but if she's not responding to email, find a way to talk to her in person. Stop by her office once in a while to see if she is there. Lurk outside a classroom she is teaching in and try and talk to her at the end of class, or if she is busy or needs to go then try and schedule another time to talk with her before she leaves. Seek her out at colloquia or reading groups that she is likely to attend. If all else fails, maybe skip class and go to her office hours. There is no point to being afraid to talk to her. If she is going to say no, it's better to know this earlier rather than later so you can work on getting another letter. In all likelihood, she is busy and your email got pushed back and forgotten. Try again. This is not personal. If you have someone else who you could consult with and who could potentially write you a letter if needed, talk to them about this. *Don't complain*. I cannot stress this enough, it will not come across like you'd like. Ask for advice about how best to contact her, because you've tried emailing a couple of times but got no response. Some people are known for their annoying email habits, but then there are other ways to get their attention. Your professors may have some other creative ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
victorydance Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Did she already agree to write you a letter or are you just asking her now? Because if its the latter, asking a prof for the first time to write you a LOR by email is a bit ridiculous if you are still attending the university IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aojfifjoaisjaiosdj Posted November 29, 2014 Author Share Posted November 29, 2014 (edited) Thanks fuzzy. I'm gonna have to skip class to go see her on Tuesday. Did she already agree to write you a letter or are you just asking her now? Because if its the latter, asking a prof for the first time to write you a LOR by email is a bit ridiculous if you are still attending the university IMO. It's not ridiculous at all (my other professors didn't mind when I asked them by email either). In her case, it's even more acceptable, I can't see her in person at all this semester because I have a class during her office hours and she's well known to be really busy. I can't just go to her office whenever I want either, THAT would be rude. Edited November 29, 2014 by Chiki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashiepoo72 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 Maybe I'm old school, but I was under the impression it is way, way better to ask for a letter of recommendation in person. In fact, every single thing I've read on asking for a rec pretty much insists on this except in the instances of a professor having retired or living too far away. One of my friends looked at me in abject horror when I stated, off-hand, that I was thinking of emailing a prof for a rec at my undergrad institution (which is about 45 mins away from me) and basically told me to suck it up and make the drive. I'm sure none of my rec writers would have chastised me had I emailed them instead of scheduling a meeting, but I know they would not have viewed that as particular adult-like, especially because I still go to the program and should--in theory--find a way to make time to meet with them. Also, the idea that going to her office is rude is totally off base. Professors have office hours and schedule time with students because they want to help. It is a HUGE part of their job, and I have not had a single professor yet who gets pissed that a student wants to meet with them to discuss their classes, grad school and rec letters. If you're chilling outside her classroom to brown-nose, that's a totally different story, but it's obvious you're not. The very least you could do is email the professor and ask her if she can schedule some time to meet outside of office hours. Like fuzzylogician said, you could also hang outside one of her classes to talk to her or, at the very least, schedule time to chat. I have occasionally audited an undergrad class or two so I could speak to my professors after class, which they seem to appreciate because it shows that I'm cognizant and respectful of their busy schedules, as well as interested in their work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzylogician Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 I can't just go to her office whenever I want either, THAT would be rude. I'd agree that you first want to either come to office hours, or if you can't then arrange for an alternative time via email. If she's not replying to her email, however, I don't think it's rude or ridiculous to stop by her office some other time, even if you haven't cleared it with her. Obviously, she may not have the time to speak to you right there and then, so your goal will really be to arrange a meeting in person, either then or at some other time. If you explain that you tried to contact her via email first and can't make her office hours, she shouldn't be upset at all. Either way, I do agree with the others that in general asking for a letter in person is better, but I don't think it's particularly rude to ask over email, just less personal and gives off a certain impression of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aojfifjoaisjaiosdj Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) I agree too. I just don't like to bother people in general when it's not their office hours, I think that's worse than emailing them. Edited November 30, 2014 by Chiki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
victorydance Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) Or you could just leave your class early/go later and go to her office hours. It's not like its the end of the world to miss a bit of class. Edited November 30, 2014 by victorydance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aojfifjoaisjaiosdj Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) Or you could just leave your class early/go later and go to her office hours. It's not like its the end of the world to miss a bit of class. We're currently revising for the final exam so it's pretty important for me to go. But yeah, her office hours and my class start at the same time, but they're the buildings are nearby and I doubt I'll talk to her for too long, so I'll only miss like half an hour or so in total of my 1 hour 15 minute class as long as no one beats me to her office hours. I just hope she doesn't say no. *fingers crossed* Edited November 30, 2014 by Chiki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aojfifjoaisjaiosdj Posted December 2, 2014 Author Share Posted December 2, 2014 (edited) Omg it's a miracle! She sent a really nice reply just the night before I was going to skip class. I'm still skipping class to see her though. Edited December 2, 2014 by Chiki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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