SOP Feedback- M.A. TESOL

[harrar]

This is the first draft of my SOP for one of my top choice schools, where I'm applying for the M.A. TESOL, K-12 certification program. I'm looking for feedback on style, clarity, and content. This is the prompt:

You are required to upload a typed, double-spaced, two- to three-page statement explaining your purpose in undertaking graduate study in this particular program as part of your application. This is your opportunity to introduce yourself and to inform the admissions committee about your goals, interests, and career plans as they relate to your intended academic pursuits.

 

Thank you in advance for your help! 

And here is my essay, which comes in at just under three pages double-spaced with no header:

 

 

One of my first duties as an intern at the (refugee resettlement agency) of (city) was to assist a soft-spoken, smiling Afghan refugee named Khalid with job applications. Khalid shared with me that he was forced out of Afghanistan by the Taliban because he had been working as a translator for the U.S. Army. His wife and young daughter were to join him in (city) soon, but they were still stuck in Afghanistan at the time. In Afghanistan Khalid was a dentist, but he couldn’t practice here in the United States because his degrees and training were not recognized, and he didn’t have the time and money to earn an American degree. I helped Khalid apply to a few custodial jobs that day, the whole time wondering if I could ever pick myself up again after losing everything like he had. Khalid became very special to me at a lonely time in my life. I remember his sincerity and kindness when I told him about my dream to be a teacher and the joy on his face when he introduced me to his wife and daughter, who had finally arrived in America safely. Before I met Khalid, I had known that I wanted to have a career related to languages, but I had thought this was merely a selfish endeavor, a way for me to get paid to interact with an intriguing subject. His bravery and sacrifice helped me to understand that it’s possible to use language to change the world.

 

As an undergraduate major in German at (small midwestern private school), I was a student of one of the smallest departments at a fairly small university. Each German class included virtually the same students as it had the previous semester, which allowed me to witness the growth and progress of many of my classmates over a span of 2-4 years. I was of course already interested in German, but these classes also piqued my interest in how adults learn a language. This interest deepened when I gained more exposure to this process, especially at the (refugee resettlement agency), where I met English language learners of all ages and experience levels who spoke dozens of different L1 languages. I wondered at the challenge it would be to have many of these people in the same English classroom at once, which galvanized me to attempt to permanently integrate myself into a community of language learners.

 

My search to combine my love of German with my interest in language education naturally led me to consider becoming a German teacher. In pursuit of initial teaching experience, I joined the (Americorps teaching program), an Americorps program at (public school system) in which I could learn about teaching while working full-time as a high school math teacher in the underprivileged neighborhood of (neighborhood). An overwhelming majority of students in (neighborhood) grow up in Spanish-speaking households, and although many are fluent in English and Spanish, others struggle in various school subjects due to their still-emerging English skills. Additionally, at (adult education center), an adult education center in downtown (city), I have volunteered in classrooms full of adults eager to overcome obstacles as small as a lack of confidence and as big as being illiterate in their native languages. As much as I love German language and culture, I see a greater need for teaching English to those who wish to learn so that they can more effectively achieve their goals here in the United States.

 

The M.A. TESOL program at (private university) was immediately one of my top choices when I began my graduate school search, primarily due to the availability of program-specific study abroad opportunities. While I have enjoyed a few wonderful vacations abroad, I have never been lucky enough to study or live anywhere other than the United States. Even though the courses are brief, their intensity and relevance would surely make the experience a significant asset to my both my training as a language educator and to my growth as a global citizen. I also find that my potential research interests align with those of the (university) faculty. As a lifelong musician and recipient of a bachelor’s degree in Music, (professor 1) and (professor 2)’s philosophies of teaching language through song and other art forms intrigue me. Also, (professor 2)’s work with emergent bilinguals, especially Muslim youth, brings to mind the many young refugees I met at the (refugee resettlement agency), as well as the students I’ve taught at (public school) in (city). Additionally, New York City is the ultimate language learning environment. The sheer number and variety of languages spoken there cannot be rivaled by any other city in the United States. I cannot pass up the opportunity to learn from and about such a diverse group of language communities through an even balance of theory and practical experience.

 

I believe that the world needs more true global citizens. Through teaching ESL, I will be able to help students better communicate their individual thoughts and ideas in an ever-increasingly globally relevant language. After gaining extensive teaching experience, my hope is to enter the field of International Education in order to continue the important work of bridging intercultural understanding, not only from non-native English speakers to native speakers, but also from individual citizens of my country to citizens of another. Truthfully, I am not certain that my current goals will withstand the transformative experience of graduate school, but I do undoubtedly know that I want to, and will, spend my life working in language education.