serenade Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Has your advisor ever given you a hug? In the year and a half that I've known my advisor, it's only been handshakes. But then today at a conference he hugged me around the neck twice - once as greeting and once as goodbye after having coffee together. No idea why. I don't mind it all - just not sure what moved me from being on handshake to hugging terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenEyedTrombonist Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I can't remember my advisor ever hugging me, but other faculty members in my department have. I'm personally not big on physical contact most of the time, so I don't feel like I'm losing out by not hugging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzylogician Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 My (male) PhD advisors never have, but my (female) postdoc advisor did on occasion, though not often. I, too, am not big on physical contact, so this is fine with me. I have also been hugged on occasion by other professors and colleagues. And yes, this happens much more frequently at conferences than at other places, and that intuitively makes sense to me. You see a lot of friends and acquaintances at a conference and you're usually in a meet-people-mode, so you might be more inclined to be friendly and more personal with someone that otherwise. I would take that to be the reason you went from handshake to hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExponentialDecay Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Any particular reason you feel the need to analyze this? dr. t, HiFiWiFi, nonethewiser and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rising_star Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 My advisor hugged me when I passed my dissertation defense. And now he hugs me when he sees me at conferences. *shrug* I've legitimately never even thought about it until seeing this question. OP, are you asking because you think there was something inappropriate about the hugs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serenade Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 13 hours ago, rising_star said: OP, are you asking because you think there was something inappropriate about the hugs? No, nothing remotely inappropriate! Thankfully, that is something I never have to worry about with my advisor. He's 100% professional and these hugs happened in a crowded hotel lobby. It's more just that I found it amusing to shake someone's hand for over a year but then at a conference, the default greeting for some reason becomes a hug? I think fuzzylogician's answer above is a good guess though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HermoineG Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 My advisor used to hug me all the time. She is just really affectionate. Now I have a male advisor (he is in his 70s) - he never hugged me and dont think he ever will! SysEvo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paloma Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 My male MA advisor hugged me when I passed my defense and when I dug up a particularly important piece of evidence on a forensic case we were working. Neither triggered any alarms for me. They were friendly, excited gestures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justpayingthebills Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Interesting question. Mine began hugging me once I passed my prelim exams. It seemed to be tied to progressing up the ranks. Not sure how I feel about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellieotter Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Haven't experienced it as a grad student (yet) but I've been hugged by a few male and female professors in undergrad after big milestones or when we bumped into each other after I graduated...although I'm from the Midwest and that pretty much guarantee's 90% of the population are big on hugging Nichi 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr. t Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 On 1/7/2017 at 2:56 PM, ExponentialDecay said: Any particular reason you feel the need to analyze this? Anything worth thinking is worth over-thinking. 1Q84, St Andrews Lynx, serenade and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serenade Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 2 hours ago, telkanuru said: Anything worth thinking is worth over-thinking. my life motto Bhu_It 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alion24 Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 It doesn't matter whether other people "think" the hugs were inappropriate or not; it's your body! Personally, I wouldn't want my advisor hugging me (especially around the neck, ew), especially if I thought it was going to evolve into a regular thing. If it makes you feel uncomfortable (as it would personally make me feel), you can either hint or directly tell them you "aren't a hug-y person" (sugar-coating it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maelia8 Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 My advisor is a foot shorter than me and male, so a hug would be ... weird ... to say the least. The only prof I've ever hugged is the sole female member of my qualifying exam committee, after not having seen each other for a long time over winter break. In my opinion it's very gender-socialized - I'd feel super weird getting hugged by any of my male profs, but female profs hugging me wouldn't bother me at all. serenade and Anka 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serenade Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 22 hours ago, maelia8 said: My advisor is a foot shorter than me and male, so a hug would be ... weird ... to say the least. ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhSoSolipsistic Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Being hooded at graduation is pretty much equivalent to a neck hug. serenade 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serenade Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 (edited) On March 28, 2017 at 6:51 AM, OhSoSolipsistic said: Being hooded at graduation is pretty much equivalent to a neck hug. Edited March 30, 2017 by serenade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adelaide9216 Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I never had an advisor hug me, but I've been working with my thesis supervisor since the beginning of my undergraduate studies (so that's more than three years now). We exchange a dozen emails (if not more) a week related to all the projects she got me involved in since I started at this university. At this point, I don't know if I should call her by her first name or simply call her Dr. It's confusing. So I get what you are saying! serenade 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhu_It Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Nothing inappropriate about it, but it would be definitely awkward to me. Considering that I keep my relationship with my advisors (male, female, or any gender) to be as professional as possible, a hug would definitely raise all sorts of questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzontherocks Posted May 4, 2017 Share Posted May 4, 2017 I did my undergrad in Melbourne, Australia. Australians are the friendly type, my advisor included. She used to give me random hugs. It was great, and I felt welcome at the school (and in the city). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehungryscholar Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 On 2017-01-07 at 1:07 AM, serenade said: Has your advisor ever given you a hug? In the year and a half that I've known my advisor, it's only been handshakes. But then today at a conference he hugged me around the neck twice - once as greeting and once as goodbye after having coffee together. No idea why. I don't mind it all - just not sure what moved me from being on handshake to hugging terms. I'm female and my supervisor is female. She has never hugged me. Only ever awkward handshakes. When I won the Vanier I wondered if she would hug me but nope - only handshakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobraintrain Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 (edited) Never. Not that I see anything wrong in it, but I can hardly imagine too males with no personal relationships hugging each other. Edited May 5, 2017 by nobraintrain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eigen Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 My (male) advisor has hugged me (male) a few times over the year, including at graduation. Seemed perfectly normal to me all of the times it happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SysEvo Posted May 5, 2017 Share Posted May 5, 2017 yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orange turtle Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 All my female advisors, past and present, but one, hug me quite regularly. The 'but one' hugged me if she hadn't seen me in a while. I have had only two male advisors. One is homosexual (this is perhaps the ONLY context I would mention this, because of the question). He hugs me, too. Honestly, I actually don't mind. Just in case: I'm also female. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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