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Quantum Leaper

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  • Location
    Massachusetts
  • Application Season
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  • Program
    Analytical Chemistry

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  1. Long time viewer, first time poster. It was a year ago when I was going through the unbearable agony of waiting to hear back from graduate schools and its a comfort to know that it all eventually worked out now that I am in my first year of a PhD program. But now I find myself in another frustrating and stressful situation... Fair warning this will be a long post! I had made a connection with a PI at my current institution early on and she thankfully remembered me when it came to admissions and I think that helped a lot in getting accepted into the program. I joined in her lab in the summer before classes started and got the great opportunity to start early and practice new techniques and get acquainted with the research which was in my area of expertise. I don’t want to sound un-grateful for that experience but I am incredibly unhappy in the lab. I am the only chemist in this group with molecular biologists and chemical engineers and I get along with the others just fine but even though I have been here now 9 ish months I am still being treated like an outsider (i.e. forgetting to include me in on emails, standoffish attitudes, very “catty” non-direct communication) which makes it hard to see myself here long term. On top of that, I have been getting very limited guidance and hands on help for the analytical techniques I want to master. There was a new faculty member who just joined who I really thought would be cool to work for and when I met with him he was very enthusiastic and has a lot of great resources. I brought my concerns up to my PI back in September she essentially told me I wasn’t allowed to leave and that since she invested money in me that I have to fulfill my end of the deal and produce work and that I don’t have the authority to try and arrange work with other PI’s . Talking to my fellow graduate students they said that was not the case and technically since we never signed any contract I am allowed to leave whenever I want. Well I my guilt has kept me from leaving and attempting to join another lab but I can’t ignore this much longer. I was ready to quit and leave but now that my PI has established a collaboration with the professor that I wanted to work for, I have more chances to get the hands on help that I want. So after all that I am wondering that am I now stuck in her lab? Ideally I would want to leave her lab and continue working with this other professor whose work I have become more interested in and that relates directly to classes that I have taken. I hate the idea of jumping ship entirely on this project because I don’t want to cut ties or end on bad terms with my PI. Plus I also don’t want the other professor to get a bad impression of me and have him not want to take me on because of it. At this point in my graduate career, when it is early enough, I think I need to be thinking ahead as to what direction I want my PhD to go and I am afraid that I hitched my wagon to the wrong advisor. To top it off there was another Chemistry student who tried to join before me and she left because she hated it and hated my advisor. I am afraid now that these two professor want me to start developing protocols and focusing on this new collaborative project that I am going to lose another year of my life to research that I am no longer as interested in and in a lab where I don’t feel comfortable. I suppose worst case scenario I finish off this year and end with a terminal masters and get out but I DREAD the idea of applying to PhD programs all over again and in general I love the school, the city, the program and the other graduate students and I do want to pursue a PhD to the end. I am planning on trying to talk to someone I know on the Graduate Student Association and/or the Department Chair to get advice as well. I am just not sure how to handle this situation without burning bridges or screwing myself over. I appreciate any guidance from those who were willing to read all of this until the end!
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