usullusa

I'm entering my fifth year of the PhD and my last year of guaranteed funding at a fairly well regarded Gender Studies program (though there's likely another two years under not-so-great-teaching-conditions). I've spent the last two years in a massive depression and haven't done any work. My advisor, while famous and well regarded, has turned out to be neglectful and downright cruel. I defended a proposal before my committee that I hated and think is unsalvageable because my advisor gave me wrong info about deadlines and committee reqs AND refused to give me feedback. I WANT to finish and to write!! But I feel like I have nothing at all to write about and I'm paralyzed with depression, fear, and hopelessness-- no amount of therapy has helped. Nobody in the dept cares or wants to help me. My advisor hasn't checked in with me six months, which is utterly unsurprising. When I ask them for help they ignore me. I'm so unhappy. I really wanted to do this when I came into the program. I feel like every drop of potential and enthusiasm has been killed in me. If I knew what to write, I would, but I'm at such a loss I might as well write about the surface of Mars. I just need advice/kind words/anything.

Thanks! How does this sound: I have Education, Teaching Experience (I've taught high school. Everyone has encouraged me to include this), Writing (it's basically just my MA thesis. Would it be weird to include writing I've done for a political blog?), Professional Experience (I've decided to include my academic publishing experience since this seems at least tangentially relevant), Community Involvement (I've helped run some activist events and spaces that pertain to my research), and Skills (I just have languages. Should I leave these in?).

I'm having trouble figuring out what to put on my CV. I have an M.A. but I've never published anything. I am involved in a number of community organizations that are relevant to my research, I work for an academic publisher, are these things I should put on my CV? What about writing? I'm in the process of submitting my MA thesis, should I put that? Should I put other projects as "in-progress"? Basically: help!