iceice ice

Thanks again everybody...thought I'd give a quick update. I'm currently at school 1, and right now I feel pretty good about the decision. I'll try to update at the end of the year or so, in case it will help any future students.

Thank you for all your input. I didn't mention advisers because I don't feel I have a good comparison. It seems from a visit that at school 1 there is a very good community among the professors and grad students, but as for school 2, while I have heard some positives about the adviser I would have from students via email, I don't really know much more about it. I am also not in a lab field. As for I think *might* is the most confident I can be. Yet, I still have the strong gut desire to go there regardless...

Maybe someone can help me out here... I have a terrible time making decisions when there isn't one option that defeats the other in all regards, and this one being an important one does not help. I have to make a final decision between two schools for PhD. One of them, I just...want to go to. If you ask me if I want to go there, I say yes. If you ask me if I want to go to the other, I say...not really. The thing is, at school 2, I would be able to work in the same major topic I applied for, but probably will not be able to at school 1. Now, I think it's possible I can find another topic that I would be interested in at school 1 - I worked outside of the area I applied for a bit in undergrad - but it's also possible that I find myself a bit disappointed in that regard. At the same time, basically every other factor favors school 1. It's in a climate I'm far more comfortable in, I like the school, it has a significantly better reputation and better ranking, the funding is better (though both are liveable), the community seems strong, and the teaching requirements are far less demanding (at school 2, I would basically need to TA the entire time, unless I got an NSF fellowship or something, which I find very unlikely, and the TA requirements are much more time consuming than at school 1). I have talked to multiple advisers of mine for advice, and I have heard things like, "choose 99% based on research," and "choose the best school that gives you funding," and others. I have tried listing pros and cons, and weighting them, and listing factors that should influence my decision, weighting them and rating each school. But sill, no matter what those methods spit out, is the feeling I can't choose school 1 because of research concerns, and that I can't choose school 2 because of the other factors and that I just don't feel like going there. For the former, it is that I feel I cannot make the decision because a PhD is for research. For the latter, it is that I feel I cannot make the decision because I should not choose a life path that is not expected to maximize my happiness. I suppose at the core of it I want to be happy. I'm not really motivated in general by money, and I think I would be happy with any job (or lack thereof) that maximized my free time (obviously I know a PhD program will not leave tons of free time, but for me, its unstructured nature is similarly relieving). I think I can be happy at school 1, IF I find research there that interests me. I'm not very sure I can be happy at school 2, but I might be being unfair in my assessment. Not going somewhere and waiting a year and applying again are both not options, for various reasons. This post ended up way longer than I expected. Can anyone give me their opinions?