I agree! And I probably should have been more careful about how I replied. The faculty I've been responding well to aren't people who I want to be buddies with or who I feel are just flattering me--they have clear ideas about where I might take my research from here (as much as it will change over time). I also was given a clear idea of who I might begin working with, whereas in the other program, I got the sense (mostly from the current grad students) that I would constantly be competing for resources and attention. Feeling loved isn't important, but having a certain level of support is.
You're right, though. Throughout this process, I've had to keep reminding myself that the way people are presenting themselves now aren't necessarily who they'll be once I join the program. Remembering that is good advice for everyone. My campus visit was eye-opening, and even while meeting faculty as "real, full-fledged human beings," I I had to remember I was still in the recruitment phrase. Probably more revealing than what anyone said to me was watching how the faculty interacted with each other and the current grad students.