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Screw The Back Up!

Hello my fellow potential grad school students! So recently, I've been getting a few messages asking me what I'm doing during the abysmal "waiting it out" process. Rather than going into detail on every single reply, I've decided a blog post would be the most beneficial to everyone, myself included. As much as you may think differently, I am new to this entire process myself. I say that because I want everyone to know one simple thing: I have no idea what I'm doing. Yes, I may have started this blog and yes, it may have connected with people, but that doesn't mean I'm some sort of pro! I am a 22 year old who decided to follow my dream and take the next step toward my next educational frenemy (aka grad school). So, let me answer the question that so many have asked: what am I doing to pass the time? First, let me just say a whole lot of nothing. Yes, I work, and yes, I'm partially continuing personal research on a few matters, but it boils down to doing a whole lot of nothing. I work 5-6 days a week, go to pt about twice a week, I try to do research but half the time I get distracted half way through and end up on random websites like Pinterest, Facebook, and the occasional YouTube which gets me hooked for a few hours. I would love to say that I'm continuing my research, which is coming along swimmingly, and I have made new discoveries which will soon lead me to the path of enlightenment. Or that I'm planning for my next step (grad school or otherwise) and have everything planned out to a tee. Also, it would be fun if I could tell you that I became famous in my short time period on this blog and am now in the process of publishing my first worldwide famous book that is soon going to be made into a movie and be sold out all over the world. After all, any of those options right now would be worth my time; however, sadly none of that is happening.  The truth (besides what I already hinted to above), secondly, is I'm thinking about a lot of "what if" scenarios. I know I've touched on this a bit in the past, but I wanted to be honest with you. It's not like I write about something and then it magically changes the moment it gets over 200 reads. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. The issue doesn't go away. No matter what you or I may try to do. The thought of rejection will forever linger in the back of my mind, and if you're like me then you're the same (hate to tell you). I think everyone fears rejection, after all, no one likes to be told "no" or that they aren't good enough. If you do like to be told these things...honestly, I have no advice or witty remark to make here so you've officially left me at a blank, but still. Rejection sucks. Especially since we all know how it feels. With the thought of rejection comes the scenario of what I (or you) am/are going to do if this whole expedition of grad school doesn't work the way we expect it to. In other words, what's going to happen next if this doesn't work out? Well, I feel like in that sentence lies the root to our underlying problem. I'm sure that you've planned out how grad school is going to work out for you, where you're going to go, and what is going to happen after graduation. I have to and there's nothing wrong with that! However, if you're like me, then the question of "what if" lies deep in the core and, like I said, here lies the problem. I know I've said having a back up plan is a smart move (after all, I probably have over a dozen at this point and I still continue to add to that list), but after typing this out so many times it got me wondering. When I started to wonder I came to a frighteningly, devastating, partial realization that may be only for me, but I'm going to tell you anyways because that's the point of you reading up until this point. If by having all these back up plans, like I said I did, then that, in fact, is my problem. I started to think that by putting all this effort into the "what if" question scenarios, I'm actually taking away from what I actually want to happen which is grad school. I know that with applications already in there's not much I can do besides wait, but I could still be planning out what is going to happen not "if" but "when" I get in. We (again, I'm assuming you're like me) put all this effort into the higher possibility that our dreams will fail, but that takes away our hope of fulfilling our dreams. So, and I know this is easier said than done, stop. Stop degrading yourself to your back up plan. If it happens, fine, if it doesn't then that's great too. But at this point, you back up plan has taken away enough of our precious time. Now it's time to think about what we WANT to happen, rather than think about what may or may not happen.  Finally, my last piece of advice is simple: go shopping. Not literally, of course! After all, we are potential grad school students, we're beyond broke. But play around with a few ideas like, "where you're going to live once you get accepted?" Or, "what are you going to decorate your apartment like?" To which, may I suggest Pinterest. Spark the inspiration of acceptance and think about these things. Look at apartments, look at decorating/organizing ideas, and look at scholarship possibilities (after all, we're broke and need all the help we can get). You've got more fire in you than you realize, and I hope that this sparks a little bit of inspiration. Anyways, thank you all for reading and I apologize if you have read some of my recent stuff...had a little bit of writer's block and I think I may finally be out of it. Be sure to check out the #SpreadTheLove campaign on my blog, and I also have another poll about Facebook so be sure to check it out. Also, I love hearing from you guys, so thank you all for your comments, your "fan mail" for those of you calling it that, and for your shares! It's amazing to know that people actually get a small kick out of reading my writing and it really makes me happy. Hope everyone has a great week, and I look forward to hearing from you in some way, shape, or form! Until next time, K.

KayAnne14

KayAnne14

 

Going the Distance

Hello guys and gals, lords and ladies,  At this point I have a small number of you that actually enjoy my writing, and first off I would like to say thanks for all your support (fan mail and all)! However, as I sit here in the darkness of the night, having my mind be to anxious to go to sleep, I find myself wondering two things, both with the same key phrase: "go the distance" (yes, like the amazing Hercules song; no, there's no judgement). Here's what I don't want: I don't want you to read this in the questioning manner (so don't sit there and start questioning every single decision you've had to make or have been making during this grad school process...yes, I'm talking to you). I'm a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason, so you are going through this ordeal for a reason, whether it's good or bad. After all, I'm living proof...but that's a story for another day. Here's what I want to happen (although, there is no guarantee it will): I want you, you, who is sitting there on your phone or computer, reading this looking to connect with other people and research what this whole process is like, I want you to read this little post and reflect. Not reflect on what you've done, but what you will do. Scratch that. What you are willing to do. So, let me state the two differences that arise in the same phrase. 1) "go the distance" - how far are you willing to go to succeed in life? I don't think I need to state that you have to remain within the legal boundaries, but I already did. I know, just like you, that grad school is a lot. And I'm not just talking about financially. It's a lot of hard work, dedication, time, and sacrifice. It's pushing yourself to see how far you can go, and it's pushing yourself even more to show you have what it takes. I could sit here and tell you that I, (hopefully) future marine archaeologist, went so far to have hip reconstruction surgery, have had/am having/will have six months of physical therapy, and more physical restraints and responsibilities  in order to take a step toward my dream. However, that isn't necessarily the case. As much as I would like to say I went through all that just for grad school would be a load of BS, and I don't want to forget the fact that now I'll be able to swim with my nieces and nephews, or the fact that I'll be able to dance again, or even the fact that I can now have the opportunity to learn new things like yoga, surfing, or even scuba diving (although that last one I need for grad school as well, but that's not the point). I went so far as to basically put my life on hold while enduring this whole thing, and the idea of grad school just helped me get through it all. But that's not it. You see, I also went and started a blog on a website built just for grad students, both present and future, to help me connect with people who know what I'm going through. However, do you know what I'm not willing to do? Give up. I don't plan on giving up any close relationships I've built with my friends and family. I don't plan on having time pass me by while I wait for a letter in the mail deciding my future. And, most of all, I'm not willing to give up dreaming.  Something that I've learned is that there is always this line that people invisibly draw around them (almost like that circle in the movie, The Little Princess (one of my favorite movies btw)). This line not only establishes what they're willing to not do, but it helps them push the boundaries of what they thought they could do. It helps people realize that they are stronger than other's give them credit for. You are a part of this group! This circle in the sand is your barrier, but it is not your cage. You get to decide how far you go, and you get to decide what you are not willing to sacrifice. Yes, you might get into grad school, but it would be all for not if you ended up throwing away all the friendships you've made along the way, all the memories that you would have forgotten, and all the warmth you've felt. No, you might not get into grad school, but if you let that one rejection be your cage then you will forever be trapped in a state of "what if" and "not good enough." Neither are a good way to live.  2) "go the distance"  Same phrase, different meaning. The first questions your boundaries; this one, however, says, "what boundaries?" It means to push yourself to be the best version of yourself that you can be. It means to trust in your abilities and know that you are not alone. It means having faith even when it may seem hopeless. While some of you would prefer to go with the second one for encouragement and stamina, I'm afraid that you don't get to choose. They are the same phrase for a reason. Both are what make up a great story, but both are what make up an even greater life. It is because you have read until this far that the following phrase will make sense to you: go the distance so that you can go the distance. Know your boundaries so that you can push past them. You've got this! Isn't it about time you started trying? I know that this post is getting pretty long so I'll try to keep this next bit short. This is a copy. I know it may seem weird, but my curiosity got peaked sitting here in the darkness at...12:37am. The post with the "*" by the signature is part of my blog, while the one with the "!" is a forum. It's not that I want to see which does better...after all, it's the same exact post. More like, I want to see which one has the bigger audience/viewers to see which portion of this cafe is more...well, I guess you could say "popular" was the word I was going for... Anyways, let me know which you read, and if you read both, I just have one question: why? I just told you they were the same post... I hope everyone has a good night, a great weekend, and a great week ahead. Be sure to remember the difference and thank you all for reading! Hope to hear from you all soon, K*

KayAnne14

KayAnne14

 

Finding Your Fairy Godmother

Bibbidi-bobbidi-booyah! (See what I did there?) For those of you familiar with the tale of Cinderella, let me first start off by saying that I'm not expecting a old, stout woman with a magic wand coming in and hooking me up with an awesome outfit and a night off. While I do have two step-sisters, I know this is far from happening, and although I'm not the biggest fan of the original/Disney version, I do like many of the other "remakes," so to speak. However, if you've watched any of the others (A Cinderella Story or A Cinderella Story: If The Shoe Fits, for example), you'll realize they each have one thing in common: they each have a fairy godmother (in a way)! Now most of the times, this fairy person is a best friend of some sort and that, my dear readers, is exactly what I'm going to talk about today!! Most of you currently in the abyss have understood a few things by now: 1) that annoying voice in your head reaches pitches you didn't even know were possible, 2) how much you love, love, love the Girl Scout cookie season, and 3) what it means to have a good friend who is beyond encouraging during this intense and maddening experience. For some, this friend could me a family member, but for me, my fairy godmother is my best friend. Now just to clarify, this girl had to put up living with me while studying for my GRE while working a full time job. She watched me go through the application process once before only to get rejected due to not having two pre-requisite classes, and she helped me destress by going out one day and buying my favorite snacks and watching movies. I know what you're thinking: "where can I get a friend like this?" Well, that's what I'm here to tell you! During the abyss, the time spent here reveals a multitude of things. Mainly about yourself, yes, but it also reveals the feelings of those closest to you. Who supports you, who encourages you, and who secretly thinks you're wasting your time.  The point I'm trying to make here is that in every Cinderella movie, the fairy godmother is someone who sees the spark in Cindy even in the darkest of despair. She not only encourages her, but helps her transform into the princess she is meant to be. Therefore, here is my little piece of advice for you: forget about yourself. I know it may seem strange, especially thinking that your fairy isn't the one who's future hangs in the balance, but this whole grad school process isn't just about you (no matter how much you want to argue with me about it). Forget about yourself, forget about the abyss, and forget about what your next steps are going to be. Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to go out and figure out who your fairy godmother is, then show them your gratitude. Let's face it, you probably wouldn't be where you are without them, so stop trying to pretend otherwise. While your in the midst of stressing about life, they are worrying about you. So go out, give them a hug, buy them their favorite coffee, and show them that you appreciate them! It's not that difficult. Especially since they've had to put up with your abysmal bootie throughout this entire process...plus, better to do this now while you're sitting around doing nothing and staring into the abyss than later down the line when your stressed, panicked, and screaming at your self conscious to finally clean out your closet.  So, here is to you, my fairy friend! And here is to all those other fairy godmother's out there who are about to get a amazing surprise. I hope this weekend is great for you all and I hope to hear from you all soon. Thanks for reading! K.   P.S. I GOT MY FIRST FAN MAIL THE OTHER DAY!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! WOOHOO! I feel special! P.P.S. For those dedicated readers, you probably know about my #SpreadTheLove post I plan on doing in February. It's my idea that since we are all on our way to a higher education (or attempting to be at least), to participate or spread the word about some amazing organizations that are trying to raise money to educate the children of other countries. Please take a few seconds to vote on one of the organizations you would want to see some support for, and please, please, please help me get the word out by sharing it on social media! Let's help future generations get the education they deserve. #SpreadTheLove

KayAnne14

KayAnne14

The Trail We Blaze

Hello my amazing fans and readers (if there are any),  Welcome to my first blog post...ever! I know, I can't believe it either but here it is. So, as I was thinking about what to write and what people would actually want to take time out of their busy schedules to read, it brought me back to how this whole journey got started. While that was true, I've decided (after a few seconds of debate with my inner workings of my crazy mind) we aren't going to talk about that today. Why? ...because I kind of don't want to right now. Also, because I feel like those of you thinking of entering the process have your own idea of what it's like and honestly, you aren't too far off. What most people don't know is what happens after. That's where I come in!  So, what happens after you apply, you ask? You get to be one of the many lucky people that get to enter into the abyss (note: connection to past post that got me started in the first place...see what I did there?). The abyss, for those new readers here, is a whole lot of...well, you guessed it, nothing. Now, nothing can be both good and bad. For those unlike me, you get a lot of stuff done. For example, you completely reorganize your room, you get to finish your undergrad career, you get to pretend to have a life outside of work. However, for those like me, the story is a little bit different. You, my fellow compatriots, get to be engulfed in self pity, you get to be unhinged due to nerves, and you begin questioning the meaning of life. If you think I'm exaggerating, think again! I could mention having a back up plan being formed in this time frame (it should be, by the way), but I've already written about that as well. So what happens in the abyss between self loathing and thinking about every possible contingency scenario? A whole lot of nothing.  This is something you're going to be doing a lot of during this little waiting period between applying and hearing back with a decision. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The reason why I'm writing about absolutely nothing is because it gives people a way to talk it out with someone other than that little voice in your head. That little voice that is beyond annoying and doesn't know the definition of the term "shut up". However, while the self loathing is almost inevitable during this time, there's also a small spark. If you're open enough to seeing it, that is. This spark reminds you of your true passions, whether it's what you plan to go to grad school for or something else entirely. This little spark allows you to see the path that you were meant to take and this little spark also reminds you of why you started. It's this moment that truly starts your journey into the future and it is this spark that will lead you to happiness. For some, it's barely visible. I'm a part of this group, sadly, but I know it's still there. For others, you get to be encompassed in a fiery blaze of glory and accomplishment. (Again, lucky you.) So enjoy it, no matter what group you're a part of. Enjoy the abyss because it's only in the darkest of times that one is able to see even the smallest amount of light. Follow your own path and enjoy every step of the journey because nothing easy is hardly ever worth achieving in the end.  So, my fellow readers, welcome to the abyss and enjoy the darkness. I hope to hear from you all soon and thank you so much for reading. To all of you out there, I can't wait to see/hear how your journey ends. Sincerely, K.

KayAnne14

KayAnne14

 

Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog! For my first post, I wanted to open up about what has been the hardest thing for me about the application process so far, and that is the feeling of not being good enough. Reading through the posts on GradCafe and seeing all the wonderful things people have done, I can't help but feel like I don't measure up. This is my fourth year working in labs and I have no publications. My GRE math score is...meh. My honors thesis is still in progress and so I don't have a neat, packaged project that I can talk about or submit as a writing sample. I'm still applying. I feel like it's easy to forget that the kind of people who post on sites like this tend to not be representative of the applicant pool as a whole, and that there do exist those of us who are applying without 10+ years of related work experience or 5+ published journal articles. My hope is to give readers some insight about what the application process is like for those of us who feel like we might not stand out as much because we don't have those things. Because that's actually not true. My first piece of advice for people who find that they're in my situation is to remember that it's all relative. For example, if you're still in undergrad, there's no way that a grad school will expect you to have as much research experience as someone who has been out of school much longer. Additionally, a lack of published articles is not a death sentence if you can convey in your application that you've gained valuable research skills. This applies both for current undergraduates such as myself, as well as those who have a master's or have been working for a while. Finally, even if someone looks "better" on paper than you, you might actually be the one with a better research fit. So, even though it can be difficult, don't be intimidated by your perceived competition. Remember to put the process into perspective and trust that if you highlight your strengths in your application you will end up where you're supposed to be.

ResilientDreams

ResilientDreams

 

So what's it REALLY like?

The whole reason I wanted to start a blog on here was to try, as realistically as possible, to answer the question, "so what's grad school really like," on this platform that seems to be mostly consumed by "so how do I get into grad school?". Admittedly, when I first started this blog, I had the best intentions of posting more regularly than "those other guys." So here I am, a year later, attempting to make up for it. So here we go, I'm going to break it into sections for the sake of readability. PLEASE, keep in mind, all of this is from my very limited perspective of a first generation, first year, queer, man of color, from the South, living in a major city and attending the only grad program I applied to.  Moving cross country to a new city As a general personality trait, I'm a huge fan of change. I get bored easily and like to mix things up. So for me, moving across the country, to a city in which I didn't know anyone was just a huge, exciting adventure. I know that for some people, change produces a ton of anxiety. So for those readers, you'll probably want to take everything I say with a grain of salt. Anyways, the move was great! I ended up really lucky in the housing search and used Craigslist to find both of the apartments I've lived in here. Exploring the city and getting into a routine of going to this grocery store instead of that one and this park being my spot to relax and destress, was fun. Seattle quickly became home for me. Building Community One of the best decisions I made when moving to Seattle was finding housing with folks not in my program, or associated with my school at all. I also joined a church pretty early on. My program has a strong focus on community development and it's pretty easy to make friends within, but for the sake of emotional sanity, it's been great to have friends who have no idea what I do for 8 (or more) hours a day. I'd definitely recommend other folks going to grad school in a new place to invest in a community outside of your program, if possible.  Personal Life Despite the media myths of grad school = buried in books and nothing else for the next x years, I've spent more of the past year intentionally building relationships, exploring my interests, and just enjoying life that I ever have. Though, this could very well be contributed to the location of my program in a major city.  With my program being pretty small (about 60 folks in total) I have noticed that the internal drama can be exhausting and pretty ridiculous at times. Granted, my field is a very personal one and the culture of the university calls us to bring out whole selves (baggage and all) to the table. Academics In some ways, the classroom experience was exactly what I was expecting, in some ways, it's less than I was expecting, but in other ways, it's way more than I was expecting.   As expected, there are lots more reading assignments than I was accustomed to in undergrad. But most of the time, I'm fine as long as I get the drift of what the assigned reading was about. It's less than I was expecting because I often find myself feeling like my classes and those responsibilities feel like an unnecessary addition to the work I'm doing with students in my assistantship and internships; that's pretty disappointing. But at the other extreme, there have been many times when I've had conversations in classrooms that I didn't think could happen in such settings and have genuinely changed the way I think about the world. I live for those conversations, and that's why I'm okay with spending more money than my mom makes in a year for tuition.  Financials  This is the one area in which I, admittedly, should have done more research before making this huge life decision. Seattle is EXPENSIVE. And, in my particular case, the coveted GA position doesn't cover living expenses, much less living and tuition. This has led to me working part time for a period, and taking out more loans than I expected. This is probably the biggest downfall of my program, but I was privileged enough to not have to take out any loans for undergrad so it's not a huge deal for me and I probably would have made the same decision if I had then, all the information I have now...although I probably would have been a bit more careful about how I spent my savings during my time off between undergrad and grad school.   Future Perspectives  I definitely feel like my chances of getting a job in my chosen field have increased tenfold in the past year. I've learned more than I could have begun to imagine, and it's made me even more excited to start my career. Also, necessary sidenote, I've reluctantly to see the benefit of strong alumni networks and I'm definitely grateful that my program comes with one of those. Did I make the right choice? 100% yes. If I could go back, I wouldn't change anything. There was definitely a time when I wished I'd applied to more programs, there were times when I wished I would have gone to a program that was fully funded and in a cheaper city, there were times I wished I would have stayed closer to home. But if I could go back in time, knowing all that I know now, I would do it all again. This experience has been, by far, the most life changing year ever, and I'm excited to see where the next one takes me.         --- Please, feel more than welcome to send me messages about student affairs, Seattle, moving cross country, or anything else. I'm not as acitive here as I once was, but I will get back to you!

vestigialtraits

vestigialtraits

 

PhD - The First Year

So - as I attempt to procrastinate my way into ignoring very real assignment commitments, I figured I'd write a post on "what happens next."  As you may (or may not know) I applied to 6 programs, was accepted 3, and ended up attending my first choice program.  I applied to 4 PhD Programs, a DPA program, and a DBA program.  I got into 2 PhD programs and the DBA programs.  Of course I've gone back to see what the other programs look like.  One PhD program gets 30-40 applications and accepts 4 with hopes of getting 2.  The year prior to my application they accepted only and were looking for faculty. No specific details.  The other PhD only took in 4 students against a usual class of 10-12.  Suddenly I don't feel so badly.  I considered the DPA to be a sure thing - still not sure what went wrong there.  So - now that I've reflected on my defeats - where is it all at? I ended up with a summer entry - taking a summer course in my specialization (3 credits).  For the fall I took two courses, one in the program main curriculum (3 credits) and another in my specialization (3 credits), along with a research residency (1 credit).  The result - All A's (including an A+ - I didn't even know these existed!).  For 2017 I'm in my residency year, which requires that I do one 9 credit semester and an 18 credit year.  I took the 9 credits in the spring (which is now and the work I'm currently avoiding).  One course has concluded (I needed a 62 on the final paper to get an A - so I should be ok there).  The second course, which I'm working now (I need to submit two papers tonight, one is half written, the other is a short research report - I'm taking "short" to heart).  This course has given almost nothing in terms of feedback, so I really don't know where I stand.  The third the professor (who is also my program planning chair) went out early in the semester with medical issues.  I don't know when or if she'll return, so this could complicate things.  The sub in professor has been fantastic and I'm chugging along quite nicely.  That paper is due in about 5 days.  I will start it right after I finish these two.   Am I happy I went into the program?  Yes.  Do I regret it?  Also, yet.  It has been an overwhelming amount of work, but I can see and feel my growth as an academic.  This is part of the life/career plan - so I'm fortunate to be moving forward and accomplishing the goals I've set for myself.  For the rest of this year I'll be taking an independent study this summer to work on a paper that can lead to publication as well as a conference (which will be 3 credits and falls into the professional development section).  In the fall I'll take another specialization course and another core curriculum.   In terms of progress I'm currently planning to sit for prelims at the 3 year mark and have set aside another year and a half for dissertation.  This would put me out at about 4.5 years, well below average (from what I've read) and well before my 40th birthday (my goal).  I'm just hoping I can sustain momentum and clear prelims without too much a challenge.  To all of you just starting - I wish you the very best.  Dig in, dig deep, and keep moving forward.  Good luck to you all.    

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

Final Response & Decision

After an incredibly long day I rolled home.  I ate some swedish fish for dinner (because that's what grad students do, right?!?).  I took a shower and took the dogs for a walk.  I opened my mailbox and the final response I had been waiting for was in there.  Valdosta was the last school to get back to me and had sent an email telling me to expect results last week.  The date on the letter to date of receipt was a nine day difference.  I was rejected.  I was kind of surprised.  When I check their admission criteria I checked it all (over GRE requirements, over GPA requirements, lengthy job history, related MA).  I had already made my decision and largely just wanted the ego boost associated with the acceptance (I know - barf here.  I get that's kind of a gross way of thinking).  Still, it's disappointing. I set out the school search with very strict criteria - the ability to remain in my job, no relocation necessary (so either local or residency sessions only), career related that could lead to something in academics, and a price that was affordable.  In the end it came down to Valdosta, Indiana University of Pennsylvania, Kansas State, Indiana State, NYU, and Wilmington University.  Texas Tech also offered a program that could have been a fit, but it hit my radar after I was well underway with other programs.  I knew my GRE could be a limitation (my scores were respectable and higher than many fields, but in Business I was behind, especially in quantitative measures).  I had a couple of F's on my undergrad transcript (from classes that the withdraw was never processed for when I relocated from PA to IL).  My Graduate GPA was ok (nothing spectacular, however it's a combined GPA for my MA/MBA as it was a joint program - the MBA alone was something like 3.93.  I struggled more in the MA program).  As I searched things unfolded.  In some ways it seemed cosmic or that fate had a hand.  Initially I had planned to apply to only Wilmington, Kansas State, and Valdosta.  Valdosta fell off of the list.  A friend who's in the program at IUP recommended it.  I added it to the list.  Kansas State came up in a google search.  NYU sent me a solicitation to apply after the GRE.  That solicitation lead to a google search that revealed Indiana State's program.  I saw it and immediately it checked all of the boxes.  Price tag, flexibility, field of interest, etc.  When I received the acceptance I was over the moon.  I was on a losing streak with both Kansas State and NYU.  I was in at Wilmington (which I immediately turned down with no other offer in hand) and IUP (which was a very serious consideration).  I was trying to wait out ISU's response and when I got it I fell all over myself.  I didn't realize how deeply tied I already was to going here or how well I saw the program going. I graduated on Friday the 13th and started my PhD on Monday the 16th (for the purposes of being up front I finished in December, but Seton Hall only offers one graduation per year).  I had been tied up teaching 15-20 hours a week on top of my full time job, so I never got a break.  The program is a bit convoluted in terms of navigation, but I'm getting the hang of it.  I'm not sure if I should be elated or disappointed that i only got into 50% of the programs I applied to (though getting into my first choice is huge).  I'm looking forward to what comes and the process.  I'm hoping I can weather the storm nicely and come out the other side a minted PhD.

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

Down to the End

So the time has come.  I have to decide among a few acceptances.  Yes, I understand that this is a good problem to have, but it's also challenging to sort through what the best option is.  If it's the best option - will the faculty be who I want to work with.  I'm also waiting to hear from one more program. To recap - I was accepted to Indiana University of Pennsylvania in their Communication Medias and Instructional Technology PhD, Indiana State in a consortium PhD in Technology Management with a specialization in Human Resource Development & Industrial Training, and a DBA program at Wilmington University.  I'm still waiting to hear from a DPA program at Valdosta State.  I was rejected from the PhD in Technology Management at New York University as well as a PhD program in Personal Financial Planning at Kansas State. I had already passed on the acceptance from Wilmington.  During my interview it seemed very canned.  They asked a half a dozen typical professional interview questions (tell us about your background, what qualities are necessary to succeed, etc).  They administered their own admission tests (one on finance, one on writing where I corrected a one page paper for grammar and syntax issues, and one verbal reasoning).  They didn't accept GRE's.  Judging by their assessments I can only guess that folks had been accepted who lacked basic business skills.  I also wasn't sure that the coursework would be any more challenging or provide skills beyond my MBA.  It was also a cohort based model, which isn't necessarily ideal. Indiana State was a little late on the decision side.  They were initially quite helpful, but that has slid off as I continued to reach out.  I'm hoping that picks up, but the temporary advisor I was given doesn't inspire much competition (PhD students are largely left to their own devices).  However, just trying to play coursework between five universities is rather challenging.  That being said, the program seems to be the best fit for me, so this will likely be where I end up. Indiana University of Pennsylvania has been far and away the most helpful.  While the program isn't the perfect fit, it's quite interesting.  It also offers all of the coursework in person (which will require significant travel back and forth) but could still work.  I really liked the folks in the program and the smaller program size.  However, due to it being a bit out of the box I won't get as much tuition assistance from work.  I did apply for GA positions, but unsure how this will shake out.  It's a cohort based program, but you can choose credit load, which does give some flexibility.  This could be the dark horse in my decision making.  NYU and Kansas State are no longer a consideration based on the rejections.  Unsure that Valdosta is the one, but I'll have to see if I get accepted and put it in the mix for consideration.  I thought his would be the easiest part, but it's still proving to be quite challenging. 

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

Decision Time

So I had intended to start to knock these out one by one as I heard back, but life happened.  I'll walk through what some of the experiences have been and how I thought things would shake out. Kansas State - I thought for sure I'd be in here and it was my first response.  My LOR's were from the department chair, associate dean, and my employer.  The program fit with both the department chair's background who could make a stronger argument as well as my research interests.  In the end I was rejected.  I got a form letter that was a scanned PDF emailed to me.  The letter contained a grammatical error (and I resisted my initial urge to correct it and send it back to them).  It contained the typical verbiage one would expect (many applicants, research interests, etc, etc, etc).  Annoying, but it is what it is. NYU - I knew this was a stretch, however they had solicited me for the PhD program, so I went right on ahead an applied.  It was their school of engineering (formerly the Poly, now Tandon due to a $100,000,000 gift - yes - that's the right number of 0's).  I attended an open house where I was the only PhD candidate for the particular field I applied to.  I thought things were well crafted, my LOR's strong.  At the open house was when things started to become a concern.  My understanding is that the department is fairly small.  They typically accept 4, hoping to get 2.  Last year they only took 1.  1 out of however many applicants (the person indicated they get 30-40).  Also, the person I met I had previously emailed and called (no response) in addition to emails that went unanswered from various faculty, department chairs, and other heads of the department.  So.  To the garbage went their rejection email.  Wilmington U - This was one of the early contenders.  The format worked for me being mostly online.  Not being a PhD wasn't ideal, but I could've made it work.  I did discover that the program is set up in a cohort model, which I tend not to prefer.  At my interview (which I drove down to Delaware for) everything went well, but it became apparent that this wasn't the program for me.  I was given assessments (finance, verbal reasoning, and writing that was correcting a sample paper).  They didn't want my GRE - but gave these, which seemed to be kind of novice level.  I was concerned that their DBA would be less academically rigorous than my MBA.  I knew when I walked out it wasn't the place for me.  Inevitably it would become my first acceptance.  They sent a letter offering me admissions to two different cohorts (neither of which were the cohorts I applied to).  They wanted a response in early March, earlier than I would hear from anyone else.  I rolled the dice and declined, sending back the form.  I never heard from them.  I would've thought they'd want to know why someone had opted out. Indiana University of Pennsylvania - This was one of my emergency pics after being declined admission at Kansas State.  KSU was my first response, so panic set in quickly.  Someone I worked with ages ago is in the program and seems to enjoy it very much.  So I applied. While not a perfect fit I think it's something that could be very interesting and change the direction of my learning a bit.  I drove out to interview with them and it seemed to be a fit.  While driving home (about 4 hours) of course questions came to mind.  I emailed the program coordinator who happily answered all of my questions and also told me I had been admitted.  These folks have been the easiest to reach, given the best information, and generally have been the nicest - something I value greatly in this process.  I don't want to go it alone in this process and it is largely a welcome change to have a school help you through the process. Indiana State - This was one of the more rigorous applications (5 LOR's).  I applied for Summer, but would be open for Fall.  They over specializations in the program, so I found that rather refreshing.  I was able to track someone down at Indiana State who was quite helpful.  The department chair also answered questions as needed and as I reached out.  I was told in February that I could expect an answer the week of 3/14.  Turns out it's also the same week as their spring break.  I followed-up immediately after their spring break to be told they hope to have answers by the end of April, but can't guarantee this.  It's slightly frustrating as this program is probably the best fit and will likely win out, should I be accepted.  More to come. Valdosta State - This was a contender early on, however I dropped it from the set as it was the program that seemed to be the lesser fit (DPA rather than PhD, no comps or dissertation, etc) but after bad news started coming I added it to my list.  My package isn't due until 4/15, but I'm now only waiting on a single LOR (ugh).  Overall some disappointments and more stress than I anticipated.  It's going to be a long 4-6 weeks after this. 

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

Mental Matters

I've been meaning to write this post (and another that is hopefully coming soon) for a while but life happens.  I was able to go visit my future grad program a few weeks ago and I plan to write about that next but for now, I want to talk about something I think will be a little more universal - the mental side of the grad school process, as far as I've experienced anyway.    For me, and I'm sure many others, grad school was always just a far off thing I knew I'd do eventually but didn't put an incredible amount of thought into until I was about halfway done with college (about a year in for me). Then, the time came to decide what program and school I wanted to apply to and it got exciting. I'm a higher education nerd with a bit of wanderlust so it was exciting to me to be able to check out all of these schools around the country, even if it was just through their websites. Next, it was time to apply and the pressure was on. Did I really have what it would take to get in? Did I develop the right relationships for strong letters of recommendation? Is this even the right time for me to go to grad school? It's been 4 months, will you finally just sit down and write the essay?! So after months of procrastination, I finally admitted my application. I just turned in one so that was it, no more stress, now it was just a waiting game. But then, the Internet threw a wrench in my plan to peacefully await a decision.    I started looking for stats of admitted students to the program. Did I make the right decision to apply to only one. Did I put too much stock in program location. And a bunch of other things it was too late to second guess considering it was already late January and the deadline for most programs had passed. Then I made a decision that probably wasn't the best for me mentally - I joined gradcafe. I never see it mentioned here on the site but being on here, talking to (and comparing myself to) people I'm essentially competing against was nerve-wracking. That guy has way more experience than me. He conveys his passion over writing better than I do. And even when it wasn't people in my field..you applied to 3 schools? 5 schools? 14 schools?! Man, those odds were way better than what I gave myself when I only applied to one. My stress levels skyrocketed but I was still in the same exact position of not being able to do anything but sit around and wait for a decision.    Finally, after what seemed like an eternity but was only actually a couple of weeks, a decision came through. I got in! I was accepted to the program of my dreams and I was thrilled. But that feeling of pure elation barely had time to settle before I started doing more stress-provoking Google searches. Now I was comparing other programs to my own. That one offers more funding? That one pays for travel to interviews? That one offers more assistantships? All things I could do nothing to change.    A few weeks later, I was able to visit my new school and meet other newly accepted students. Many of my fears were soothed. I wasn't the only one worrying about those things. I couldn't have been happier with the campus, program, and professors once I was introduced to everything in person. I didn't feel imposter syndrome even when talking with all these other great people were also admitted and the current students who seemed to be on a completely different level. After that weekend, I left completely happy with the results of my progress and have barely been on gradcafe stressing, doubting, worrying since.    Now this isn't to say that I think gradcafe is bad. It's great to connect with others that are in the same situation as you, have the same interests as you, and understand the struggle of putting yourself through this rigorous process. But your own mental wellness should also be taken into account. There's always going to be someone who's application is a little stronger in some area. Maybe their GPA is one point higher or they went to a brand name school in the field or they have more research experience. But you have to trust YOUR process (not the process) and realize you have just as much right to be in the admissions pool as the next guy.    The grad school process is all about selling yourself, trying to get a school to realize you're a good stock to invest in. So at the end of the day, you and the work you've done up to now are all you have to rely on so don't lose faith! You're great. Now you just have to get an adcom to realize that

vestigialtraits

vestigialtraits

 

Valdosta State - DPA

So this was in the mix from early on.  I had initially decided not to apply when I started looking for programs.  I was bent on a PhD and was concerned that I couldn't find any where I could continue to work full time and that would be affordable.  I instead opted for the DBA program at Wilmington.  After an early rejection (with more to come on this subject in my next blog) panic set in.  I added (or re-added) Valdosta to my list.  I scored an interview at another program and when I sat down in the room it was clear that the program wasn't going to be a fit.  I would get an acceptance (more to come here, too) but turn it down.  So as I moved on to Valdosta it was perhaps the easiest of the group.  The statement was 1-2 pages.  The application was pretty straight forward.  It also required a resume and 3 references (normal, right?).  The department was responsive, easy to access, and gave quick replies.  I find this to be a very promising sign of a program where you can get support.  Some of the others I'm still experiencing radio silence on (despite having questions that I would've liked answered prior to applying).  The only downside I saw to Valdosta is that everything outside the application is paper based (resume, statement, and references all have to be mailed in).  The good news is that they do update the system so I can see what they have received and what I'm still waiting on.  So here's hoping for good news.  I still have 3 programs to hear from, including this one.

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

Indiana University Pennsylvania

So I had completely excluded this program from my plans.  It's setup as a every other weekend format for coursework and about 5 hours from where I live (so I'd be commuting to my parents every other weekend then returning to work and life where I live).  I wasn't going to apply as it isn't a direct fit to my research or course interests.  However I had only applied to 4 programs.  1 had rejected me.  1 had accepted me and I didn't want to go there.  I had applied to 2 other programs, 1 I've got a snowball's shot in hell of getting into and 1 I've probably got a decent chance at, but I'm not sure (and it's my first choice). Panic set in and I applied to IUP.  They have been by far the most responsive, accommodating, etc.  While the program isn't an exact fit to what I hope to accomplish, the fact that they've been available is huge.  I've worried about the bulk of the programs I applied to being a problem with getting assistance at maneuvering through the coursework and dissertation.  With significant support and resources (not financial) it seems as though sometimes it is work considering the program as it can be tailored a bit more, rather than trying to fit into a very small box.  I heard back quickly once my file was complete and I have an interview scheduled for 3/14.  It's relief and a breath of fresh air from a process that has been something along the lines of excruciating. 

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

Severed Crossed Fingers

So, it's been a while since I last updated this. The main reason for this is that there is little to no news. The adjoining reason is that what news there is likely would only lead to a pretty depressing post.
I'll keep it as light and cheerful as I can manage. Since last we met, I've been rejected, either tacitly or directly, from an additional four programs, leaving me with two that have yet to send any information: Georgia State University and New York University's Tisch School of the Arts. I'm not holding my breath that I'll get rejected from UMass-Amherst and then accepted to NYU, but stranger things have happened. I'm hoping that GSU sends me an acceptance, but since I've already been down this road before, I'm preparing for the worst (while, naturally, hoping for the best). In order to move forward with my life (or at the very least make a lateral move) I'm applying to teach English abroad in Japan. My SO is doing it, I want to have some semblance of independence, and I like travel. It's win-win-win. Going back to the constantly getting rejected from PhD programs bit, I understand that the admissions committees are busy and I am but a floating speck of dust in the cosmic scheme, but why wouldn't there be some system of feedback for these things? It seems like it would be simple enough to provide some pointers on where an applicant could improve their packet. "Did not attend Ivy League school for undergrad," or "You're kidding, right?" or even "Lack of formal academic training in Communication/Media Studies makes candidate unsuitable for program." As I've mentioned before, I have a lot working against me, so I'd like to know what it is that is keeping me out of the big leagues. This is what I get for not being much of a planner, I suppose.

ajayghale

ajayghale

 

Fleet(ing) Foxes

I'm not sure if any of you listen to Fleet Foxes. They're my go-to shower singalong music, though my boyfriend calls it "weird monk music." He listens to rap. Artistic differences, I guess. Anyway, their music really hits me sometimes whether comforting or not. I have a playlist on my laptop of music that I find grounding, and it includes songs like "I Can Feel a Hot One" and some others by Manchester Orchestra, a large amount of Fleet Foxes, a taste or two of both Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles, and the like. I play that playlist when I study or do homework, or whenever I just need to get my sh*t together and calm down.  I was not accepted into the program at WMU. I found out on Friday by way of a letter that my dad read before me because it wasn't sealed. I can't say I'm surprised at this decision-- I had a feeling the day I returned home from Interview Weekend that there wouldn't be a place for me there. I respect this decision, because I don't think I was who they were looking for. I can't handle the constant party that their department seems to encourage. Being told that the current students go out drinking multiple times a week together is not something that I'm itching to be part of. As I whine about not wanting to party, I'm soaking in the fact that I'll be moving to Chicago in six months. I have an acceptance in hand from Roosevelt and an interview lined up with Elmhurst as well as campus visits to both next week.  That's right: Chicago! 
I held Roosevelt up as my top choice, and now it's becoming real. I need to find somewhere to live. I know very little about living in Chicago, and I'll need all the help I can get. My family knows people all over the country and world, but somehow we don't know anyone in Chicago (well, I know a couple people my age there, but no one who could save me if I ran into trouble). I'm lurking on the City Guide thread for Chicago and all the rental sites I can find. I know Roosevelt has very easy access to all the train lines because it's right by the loop. They include a CTA Ventra U-Pass in tuition, though I don't actually understand how it works. 
My limited experience in Chicago has always been great. I'm really excited to be living and going to school there, but there are so many issues I now face. Being rejected from WMU has set the ball rolling to the Windy City. Now begins a new journey filled with big decisions-- will my SO be able to move with me? Will I be working at the university or elsewhere? Where will I live? Will I get enough funding from the university to avoid major debt?  Where before I was comfortable in the excitement of not knowing, I'm now very uncomfortable in the excitement of decision-making. Here we go. Headphones in, chin up.

bugabooo

bugabooo

 

One was Enough

After being on this site for a while, I realized that applying to just one school made me one of the few, the proud, the...naive? I felt confident about me decision until I logged on here and realized people were applying to 4..5..14!? schools. And I started thinking I might have screwed myself.  But then the news came -- I was accepted! To say I was elated would be an understatement.     To keep what could be a long story short: No, I don't advise just applying to one school even though it worked out to me, it's always nice to have a backup plan. But if just one school gets your blood flowing, you think it'd be a fantastic fit, and you realistically think you could get in, go for it! Don't let other people psych you out. You know you better than anyone else and this is your process and yours alone.   One was enough for me and I couldn't be happier with that decision.

vestigialtraits

vestigialtraits

 

Hungry, Exhausted and Probably Late. (Long Post)

Well, I've mostly gotten my voice back. I've been trying to decompress and really work through my experience this past weekend, and I think I'm ready to write about it. I'm not going to focus much on the specific content of the three interviews because there are plenty of forums and threads that contain very accurate and helpful information on that. Go find it. Rehearse your answers in front of a mirror, and remember that you're being interviewed for a reason and not by chance.  Last Thursday, I drove to WMU. It took about nine hours, and I was hungry by the time I got to campus. My host picked me up, and we went off to the first social event and dinner. My host told me right away that the most important thing for the weekend was that I network with current graduate students and make them like me.  It was around this time that I realized that as much as I had prepared myself, I was in no way prepared for the other applicants or the current students. I'd spent hours reading my own resume and statement, the recent publications of the professors in the department and their CV's, and about the school. I even looked up the other applicants as best as I could-- but I didn't consider the current students. Looking back, I can't really say I could have know just how important it was going to be. So there I am, in my travel clothes (sweater and leggings- thank goodness it was even somewhat fashionable) in a pub/restaurant with a dozen other applicants and current students that outnumbered us. There I am, being dragged around by my host to another group of names and faces that blurred together almost immediately, and it's so loud I could barely hear the names in the first place. This person is mentored by Dr A, this one by Dr B, this one by Dr C. They study this, and that, and the other. They're from this location. Talk to him, now her, now her, now him. 
I was able to eat maybe a third of the salad I'd ordered before it was taken by a server while I was being introduced to more people. I basically used by bourbon-and-ginger-ale as a teddy bear/ comfort object as I walked around. People kept asking me questions I'd failed to expect: "are you more traditional I/O or OBM?" Dude, I only found out about I/O a year ago. I don't know the difference. "So what organization do you want to work for?" Why would I know that right this moment? "So what's your specific focus?" Man, I'm an undergrad still. I'm here to narrow my present focuses, I don't have just one. (I'd decided not to tone my personality down for this process, which only bit me in the butt once and in a minor way. I also had decided to not lie or exaggerate much, which I think came in handy.)
It kept going on like that. I kept my head above water, barely. I smiled and clutched my drink and didn't react at all when I dropped my tiny straw. Trust me, it was very impressive. 
My host was exhausted from pulling an all-nighter the evening before, and we got back to her apartment around eleven. She'd prepared her room for me to stay in, and she and her boyfriend had a futon in the living room. I didn't find it that weird, maybe because I use my bedroom as a guest room sometimes too. Anyway, we were only there for a few precious hours of sleep each night.  Friday was a Research Day from 8-5, which meant sitting in a lecture hall listening to current graduate students present studies they'd either recently completed (mostly dissertations) or that they were still working on. I'd missed breakfast due to a miscommunication, so I was sitting at around 12 hours without eating. I was able to speak briefly to a faculty member with whom I'd be interviewing the following day, and she went out of her way to compliment me on my personal statement. That did a lot for my nerves, but my stomach was not as easily quieted. We had a two hour break for lunch and around fifteen of us to a nearby bar/restaurant. We ordered and paid immediately, citing our slight rush. An hour went by, and our server hadn't returned. Another half hour went by, and we started to get nervous. We got our food exactly twenty minutes before we needed to be back in our seats, and asked for boxes. I loaded my untouched assorted veggies and hummus into a styrofoam container and sadly headed back to the lecture. We arrived late and had to stand at the back of the room until there was a break. I tried to pay attention to the data instead of my future dinner. We wrapped up the day and went right to the dinner location.
I could not make this up: after being seated and served our drinks, largely alcoholic, we were told by a member of the staff that their chef had quit and walked out about twenty minutes before we'd arrived. Hello, 24 hours without food! One of the students made the call to move to a burger joint nearby, so we all drank our beer/whatever as quickly as possible and I started feeling tipsy right away. We got to the other place, and the only thing on the menu I could eat (meaning that didn't involve meat) was a side order of fries. I tried to choke some down, but I lost the fight. At this point I'm basically speed-dating. A current student would come chat for a bit, leave, and another would take their place. I had some great conversations and learned a lot this way, all without having to stand (which was good because I felt pretty woozy). My host and I left around eleven, and we all went to sleep.  Saturday came, and with it came three interviews. I believe I was the only applicant with more than two interviews, which was odd. Also, I didn't know I'd have more than one-- I guess I assumed that I'd have some sort of panel interview? That wouldn't really make sense, but I hadn't fully considered it. Anyway, I nearly overslept. (By the way we are sitting pretty right at 36 hours since I've eaten. That's right. 36 very long hours.) I arrived to the "holding room," if you will, and nearly fainted from happiness when I was greeted by a full spread of bagels and fruit. Food, at last! I was the first interview of the day for Dr. A, so I actually only had time to eat a mandarin orange before our meeting but it was enough to perk me up for a moment. 
My interview with Dr. A was very conversational, and they mainly focused on my personal statement and the variety. I've been in debate groups relevant to the constitution; I've competed in events revolving around medical knowledge; I'm a founding member of a theatre honors fraternity on my campus; I'm an election inspector for the State of Michigan. I was honest with them in that I just did things that seemed interesting and fun and kept up with all of it as long as I was able to. With some things, the involvement ended when I graduated high school, and some things still float in the background of my life. We talked for our allotted 40 minutes and were interrupted by someone telling us that their next interviewee was waiting. Dr. A was very straightforward in the dire lack of funding their department has, and this was a shock to me based on the department's reputation.
I went back to our holding room and finally got to eat my bagel! And another orange! 
More networking while I waited for my next interview. By Saturday, I'd begun to bond with a few of the other applicants and the mood in the holding room was generally cheerful. As far as I know, no one really felt like we were competing directly with each other, and no one tried to hurt any other applicant's chances. The feeling I got was that it wasn't up to us, so why not be nice to each other? 
My second interview, this time with Dr. B, was also conversational but this time focused on my work history and what each job has taught me about myself and how my experiences relate to I/O. Their office was frigid, so I hid my hands while attempting to maintain a sort of "power pose" and not fold into myself. Dr. B asked how I planned to fund my MA, and they too mentioned a lack of funding. Again, we ran out of time. In both cases, I was told that running out of time was a good sign. 
Lunch was an array of delicious hot sandwiches made by the current grad students with cookies, chips, and some veggies. I was so excited about being able to eat normally that I definitely ignored the rest of the room for a few minutes while I ate. During lunch, the faculty holding interviews joined us and so, more networking. I still had another interview after lunch, so I made sure to take a short walk down the hall to clear my head after the business of lunch. 
My third interview was with Dr. C, who had some serious structure going on. They had a list of questions, with 4-5 circled for each applicant. They asked me very specific questions that I sometimes could not answer due to lack of knowledge in I/O and OBM, so I did my best to supply information that was comparable. They stated that they didn't fault me for my lack of knowledge due to my school's absence of any I/O or OBM courses, and also mentioned that they were impressed with my ability to supply the other information to substitute. They asked how I planned on getting more to read, and I replied that I legitimately didn't think I'd be able to find resources on my campus. They stood up, went to a bookshelf, and chose a book. Next thing I know I'm holding a copy of Bringing out the Best in People: How to Apply The Astonishing Power of Positive Reinforcement by Aubrey Daniels. They said "here, borrow this and let me know what you think. It's my favorite starter book in OBM." So I'm thinking, okay, they forgot that I'm not local. I sort of said that it'd be great to read on the long drive home, and they just nodded and said "Yeah, okay." So, okay maybe they didn't forget, then. This book caused quite the stir once I returned to the holding room. No one else had gotten a book. The current students even seemed shocked. I am not putting any meaning behind the book, I'm firm on that. Even if it shows some connection made on a human level, I absolutely will not believe that it in any way predicts the decision to be made. Now, Dr. C also asked me about financing, and by this time I was expecting them to bring it up. 
As I mentioned in the Venting thread, the lack of funding doesn't fit with the reputation, output of research, or the rather elite selection process (only 2-4 students are expected to be taken on this year). What's the issue? I'm not privy to the reasoning. 
For dinner we all had a chance to change to slightly less formal attire (I posted a breakdown of the attire seen in the Interview Weekend Attire thread) and went to an amazing Indian restaurant where we had a buffet style dinner of so much delicious food, I never wanted to leave. The wine was flowing, and this time the faculty was footing the bill. Everyone was more relaxed now, and many current students began questions with "so now that interviews are over, I wanted to ask..." One thing I picked up on then was that some applicants began to change their stories slightly. They'd admit to having less experience in some matter, or that they had to retake classes to get their GPA where it is-- they became more human. This was when I became so glad I'd chosen to be straightforward from the start, because people noticed that my story remained unchanged. I showed the faculty the most professionally honest picture of myself possible, and so I would have no false image to maintain. Lying is a lot of work, and I have other things to focus on. I didn't hear of anything major that was lied about, but there were a fair number of applicants who hadn't been the most honest version of themselves until after interviews. I don't think that's evil by any means, but I did make a different choice. 
After dinner, the grad students took us to a huge and super loud bar. I had bonded well with some people and stayed mostly in a group of five to ten applicants and current students. I had someone drive me to my parents' hotel around half past midnight after drinks and goodbyes. On Sunday, I slept for nearly the entire ride home, showered, and fell asleep before dinner and slept until I had to get up for my 8am Monday class. Overall it was a really valuable experience, but I kind of hope I don't have to go through anything like it again. I was hungry, exhausted, and always felt like I was about to be late for something. I expect to hear back by the end of the month, and made sure to send out all the thank-you notes on Monday evening. I've gotten three responses out of the five notes sent, which is decent. I suppose that's all for now, folks. 
You know the drill: ask and I'll answer! 

bugabooo

bugabooo

 

Indiana State University

So now we seem to be a bit more sequential in my blogs.  I've arrive at Indiana State 4th, which was also my 4th application to submit.  The University was never on my radar, it was the result of NYU sending me the solicited application for their Technology Management program.  I was typing Technology Management PhD into my Google search box automatically filled "online."  Indiana State popped up.  It's actually a consortium program that includes Indiana State (obviously,) Bowling Green, East Carolina, North Carolina A&T, and Central Missouri.  You do select a home campus, however your tuition is billed by the institution teaching the class.  There is also five specializations for the degree (which seems to be unique and I found very interesting).  I was forewarned that sometimes it can get a bit messy registering and paying bills (as your are billed by whichever institution you are taking a particular class with).  However, I found the folks I talked to turned out to be some of the most helpful.  The program required 5 LORs (which seems unusually high compared to everywhere else that I applied).  At this point I'm in a holding pattern waiting to see where I end up - I think that this could end up being my first choice program.  TBD.

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

Knowledge Begins With a Deficiency of Jouissance

I received word on Tuesday from the University of Wisconsin at Madison that my application to their Communication Arts - Media and Cultural Studies PhD was rejected. This was disappointing (I ate a pizza and watched The Flash in my darkened room after work, which I'd have done anyway, but that's not the point) but wasn't a huge surprise to me for a few reasons. The first reason was that their MCS division had been shrunk significantly in the previous years and only had about half of the spots available of the next smallest program. This is a trend in Wisconsin (and elsewhere) as higher education is being gutted (as it is nationwide). This is particular to the humanities and, to a lesser extent, the social sciences. Now I can prattle on about neoliberalism and the commodification of education in the United States, but I'd rather talk about myself. So, additionally, I suppose I may not have been the best fit for my prospective POI, despite the interest I perceived through our email correspondence. It could have been my abysmal undergraduate GPA (3.06. Never enter college thinking you'll be a doctor when all you made were Bs and Cs in science and math in high school. As I've mentioned, I'm not much of a planner.) or the fact that my two MAs had nothing to do with communications. Whatever the reason, they didn't want me. So, now I wait for the remaining six to render their judgment. I continue to have Rambo-esque flashbacks of last year when I got completely shut out. To paraphrase Frank Reynolds: "Wisconsin drew first blood!"

ajayghale

ajayghale

 

RU up?

On this past Thursday, I came home with a plan to nap. Spoiler: I did not nap.
I checked my email, and found one from the director of the IO MA program at Roosevelt University, informing me that I had been accepted into the program. He had forwarded his decision to the Office of Admissions, and wanted to tell me now because they have someone new in Admissions and it may take a bit for the University's materials to get to me. 
I yelled for my boyfriend, who came running because he thought I was hurt (whoops, sorry) and after I told him the news and that I was uninjured (if a bit lightheaded), we called my parents. Their reactions were so typical-- my dad in the background saying "see, I've always told you how smart you are" and my mother going right for, well, a more shallow topic involving appearances.  So, this is really cool. My first acceptance! I'm not a complete failure/ idiot/ garbage person! 
RU's program is bigger than WMU according to SIOP with an average of 25 students to WMU's 7. Granted, RU has more faculty and internships to accompany research positions, so the higher number makes sense. The program director, in our emails since Thursday, has expressed that they are excited about the possibility of having me in their program. I know that's why anyone would be accepted in the first place and isn't unique to me, but it makes me feel pretty good. He also called me a "colleague," which was weird but cool. I still feel like a kid sometimes with this, and I keep forgetting that a lot of these people see me as a real person with value and purpose. What? Nah. There are a few faculty members who research things I'm interested in, but I only have some limited contact with one who I know through my advisor at my current school. Turns out that they worked together in the late seventies and early eighties, so I did my best to reach out to this professor not long before sending in my application materials. Again, I've exchanged only a few emails with him and the most recent email from him reminded me about the competitive nature of their assistantships. I found that a little odd, but I believe it was well-intended. If I understand the meaning of "POI" correctly, then I have none anywhere and didn't know it was even a thing. So, that's probably not helping me, but I can't yet tell if it's hurting anything.  When I told my mom the news, one of her first questions was if I'm going to decline my interview at WMU. This shows again how unfamiliar my family is with the entire process. The funding decisions won't be made by RU's IO department until the middle of Feb, and the University itself makes separate scholarship and funding decisions mid-March. I'm not going to risk anything by removing myself from WMU's applicant pool. The theme of this blog (and my life) is that I don't know what I'm doing, so I'm not about to make any cocky decisions. Speaking of that interview, it's coming up quickly. I'll leave home on Thursday morning, drive the whole day with one or both of my parents, and arrive in Kzoo early evening. I'll have time to pack tomorrow, though I still have no clue what I'm going to pack. (Why are all of my adult-y, nice clothes mainly black?) The events are scheduled in tightly over the weekend, and I'm in the dark about how it works. How many other people are being interviewed? Who am I up against? Who pays for my meals while I'm there? Will my host have me in a bed or on a couch? When will the decision be made, and what of funding? Will I like the people and the campus? Will they like me?  I know toddlers have a reputation for asking endless questions, but I'm pretty sure I could ask more right now.  WMU: Interviewing this coming weekend
RU: Accepted, funding TBD
Elmhurst: ???? And as always, let me know if you have any thoughts or questions. My next entry may not be until after the interview unless something happens. In the meantime, I hope everyone has a good week going forward, and good luck.

bugabooo

bugabooo

 

Just Idling Insignificantly

I still haven't heard anything from any of my programs, but that's more or less to be expected. At least until the first week of February or so. In the meantime, I shall provide for you a playlist of songs to listen to while waiting. This is best enjoyed while waiting for admissions committees to render decisions, for pizzas to arrive, for the triage nurse to call you up, or waiting for the world to change (that song will, fortunately, not be featured here). 1. Elevator Operator - Courtney Barnett (For when you're having those existential issues)
2. Waiting Room - Fugazi (I am a patient boy, I wait, I wait, I wait.)
3. Can't Get Enough of Myself - Santigold, B.C. (Want to feel good about something for once? This is the song for you while you're waiting and falling down the pit of self.)
4. MFN - Cibo Matto (For when you want some weird and awesome background music to a panic attack)
5. Gimme Love - Sleater-Kinney (Imploring admissions committees to send a placement and 4-5 years of funding your way)
6. Keine Lust - Rammstein (For those times when you just can't)
7. Hawks and Serpents - The Sword (For those times when you need to destroy everything in your path)
8. School Spirit - Kanye West (For those times you regret spending an enormous amount of money on college and have nothing to show for it)
9. Bassem Sabry - Of Montreal (For your dark and violent funk)
10. Careless Whisper - George Michael (Pro: This will chase out all the bad thoughts. Con: It will replace them with saxophones.)
11. This Could Be Us - Rae Sremmurd (For when you get rejected)
12. Dance Yrself Clean  - LCD Soundsystem (For when you have nine minutes to kill and no one is around to watch you sway to the rhythm)
  Waiting sucks.

ajayghale

ajayghale

 

Kansas State

When I started looking for Doctorate programs, this was the one that started the search.  Having spent 15 years in banking a PhD in Personal Financial Planning seemed to be a perfect compliment (despite working on the commercial/lending side).  Tracking down someone to talk to was difficult.  The department chair was out on leave.  The program admin/coordinator took some time to respond.  The program required a 10 page statement (ugh) and while the application required a writing sample, I would later be told it wouldn't be reviewed.  The admin also retired partway through the semester so I got no guidance on items going in (the application required electronic copies of transcripts, not all of which I had).  When I spoke to the graduate admissions department I would be told that I didn't need to send official transcripts unless I was admitted (but the department told me I did).  The program seems very well structured despite being formatted for distance with residency.  I'm starting to think a lack of assistance and accessibility is more the norm than the exception.  This was also the first program to send a decision (declination).  It was a bit of a rub where there were grammatical errors in the rejection, most of which I wanted to correct and send back.  So far I've restrained myself.

MarkMc

MarkMc

 

NYU

So for my second entry I'll be reviewing the NYU application process.  NYU was nowhere on my radar, nor was a PhD in Technology Management.  After taking my GRE (my GMAT scores that I used for my MBA/MADIR were awful) and scoring in the top half to top third I got a free application offer from NYU.  After looking at the program I thought it might be a fit and at no cost - I was ready.  While the price tag is staggering compared to many programs I looked at - I figured I would see where it would take me.  It also seemed like a natural fit to my career (banking) and my earlier education.  Proposed research surrounded retraining and compliance in an industry being heavily influenced by technology and the use of technology for sustainable development in Latin America.  The process was straight forward and easy.  I did reach out to the chair/head of the program via email - it went unanswered.  I reached out to the administrative manager via email and phone call.  They both went unanswered.  I reached out to someone who had appeared to have a supervisory capacity (thought their title has changed on the website)  That email also went unanswered.  I reached out to an alum who adjuncts in the program who gave strong insights and also connected me with a current student.  The student got me in touch with a professor who was quite helpful, thought not a research match.  Their research seems to fall into three areas, I'm guessing largely due to having three research faculty.  Since the program resides in the Tandon School of Engineering (the former Poly) I'm unsure what the requirements will be for admission.  It seems to be quite a small program, but carries the NYU brand.  At this point I'm just waiting to see where things may go, thought the process was a bit disappointing in terms of response/accessibility of faculty and administration. 

MarkMc

MarkMc

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