I've been struggling with a lack of motivation lately, especially in writing for my website. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because this waiting process has me so anxious that I can't focus, or maybe it's because my fulltime job has kept me focused on "the real world." Whatever it is, I don't like it, and I want to get back in the habit of writing. I love it, so I'm not sure why it's been so difficult...
A few months ago, I saw this painting by Valentin a few months ago and wrote on my Tumblr,
Valentin de Boulogne, David with the Head of Goliath and Two Soldiers, 1620-1622, Oil on canvas.
Is it just me, or does David look feminine, with his smooth and exposed shoulder, curly, almost updo style hair and soft facial features? Especially contrasted with the more blatantly manly guards and Goliath’s overly giant and hairy head. This piece gives me a new essay idea for the site!
Of course, I didn't say what specifically my idea was nor did I write it down in my 'theory' notebook where I write down all (except this one - hah, hah) my ideas. I thought that writing about this painting would be a good way to get me motivated again, but now I'm only frustrated that I can't remember my idea.
I have a ton of people who read my site and I feel constantly guilty each week that goes by where I don't post something. When it started about a year ago, I tried to post once a week. As I got busier (married, working full time), that turned into two or three times a month, and since the start of the year this year, ... once a month? I don't like it. I wish I could get some closure about grad school since I have a feeling that that's the reason my brain is operating on zombie mode with regards to my site. Sigh.
Thanks for listening to me vent about my writer's block.