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February Waiting-it-out Blues



So, I think I've moved beyond the stomach-churning anxiety of January, and am now into the February waiting-it-out blues. I'm resigned to the fact that checking my inboxes (yes, plural - apparently from a perverse need to torture myself, I gave out two different email addresses - ugh) every five minutes isn't going to speed anything up. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still do that; it's just that now it's more of a tic rather than driven by hopeful optimism.

I've been invited to two interview weekends so far, and have had a third request for a phone interview. But given that none of these are actual offers, it does nothing to stop me biting my nails. Especially since I've all but given in my notice at work - I plan to travel from April 'till school starts in the fall, and everyone at work knows this (because I can't keep my mouth shut about grad school, apparently). So yeah, worst case scenario, I have to no job, no school offers, no plan.. so no pressure there :D

To add to that, this is my second time applying - last year I applied to 6 PhD programs and was roundly rejected by most of them. But more about that later.

I know everyone says this, but it really is an emotional rollercoaster. When I got that first invitation to visitors weekend, I literally shed a few happy tears (they noticed me! I may have a chance!) but it was quickly replaced by doubt and certain unavoidable facts (they're inviting several candidates, I'm just one of many, what if I don't even like the school? etc).

Ah well. At least it's nice to know I'm not alone in this self-imposed torment. We'll make it through this! (maybe sans a little sanity)

Oh, and to pass the time, I've been making handmade thank-you cards to my LOR writers. It's fun, and I like to think it's more meaningful and conveys my appreciation more than a generic card. I know people on here have asked if it's appropriate to send thank-you gifts (it's not, IMO) and I think this is a nice balance between a gift and a regular card. I recommend it :)


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this really is a form of torture! I finally heard from a school today (wait-listed at Vanderbilt), but I have yet to hear a peep out of the other seven schools I applied to. Like you, there's really nothing else I want to do come fall time! My work also knows I want to be totally done with them. 


I also totally feel you on the homemade cards, that's super cute. I guess gifts aren't appropriate, but what about baked goods? I really show my love with cupcakes. I guess I better get started on those cards.


Good luck with your interviews!

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Much sympathy with the email inbox situation. I've got three and I thought I'd linked my applications to only one of them, but still correspondence (and offers) came through the other ones. Urgh.


Interviews are a good sign, they certainly aren't inviting you for the sole purpose of wasting their money! Good luck with them.

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I liked the idea of passing time by making cards for LOR writers....After  few attempts it might actually add to the skill set :P lol 

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Gabby, I love the idea of cupcakes as a thank-you! I also just love cupcakes :D. Small, homemade gifts are the best. It kinda says, I appreciate all the time and effort you put in on my behalf, so look, I did some of the same and made this for you! And in my case, some of my letter-writers are doing this for the second time, so it's the least I can do lol.


Lynx - Multiple inboxes are the worst (although, secretly I think I like the idea that if I didn't get an email in one, maybe, just maybe, the second inbox will have something! I know, it's a sickness..). And thanks, that's what I have to keep telling myself!


Kuchbi - you should try it, it's very therapeutic!

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I don't want to add to anyone's self-torture of checking inboxes constantly, but definitely check your spam every once in a while, too. My acceptance from UIUC was in there, and another woman I know got an interview offer in her spam folder! It's scary to think you're missing things that important.


Also, I gave out thank-yous to my LOR writers and chocolate to 2/3 of my LOR writers. I plan on doing a bottle of some nice wine for the last one on graduation, since he's also my advisor and still controls my grade until this semester is over (I don't want it to feel like a bribe!). 

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I don't want to add to anyone's self-torture of checking inboxes constantly, but definitely check your spam every once in a while, too.


Oh, of course, that's definitely part of my obsession too lol

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