dat_nerd

I'm working with first-year students in our program as a mentor (somehow I've become an advanced graduate student) and we've talked about jealousy and competition, not in the same way as the OP, but at the core, jealousy is an affective reaction that feels pretty similar whatever the cause (or ostensible external cause).  My advice to them was to try to focus on your own progress and success and happiness rather than to compare yourself to others.  Easier said than done, right?  Here's a couple of the more practical things I mentioned: when you learn that somebody got something you applied for or wanted or is experiencing something you want, if your immediate reaction is strongly negative, it is best to absent yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally) from that space for awhile.  Go for a walk, go to a movie, hang out with friends who have nothing to do with the academy or (in your case) may not be married or in a committed relationship but who are also happy being single.  Take some time to balance yourself out and then think about the things you like about that other person, reminding yourself of the reasons why you like that person and want to be around them.  Then the next time you are around them, you can congratulate them on what they have (or not) but not focus on that.  When you start to feel hostile, think again of those reasons why you like them so as to contain or manage that hostility, which is probably a lot more self-directed than it is other-directed anyway.  Of course, if you don't like the other person to begin with, this won't help, but since you want to like/do like some of these people you mentioned, perhaps this will help a bit.

I also strongly second the advice to try to go to therapy more often, too.  Look into the options available at the medical facility on your campus.  You may well find that there are mental health services available to you for free because of your status as student.  

a B in grad school is equivalent to getting a D in college

I just met her and got her number but we couldn't hangout today Cruz she has to work late ... Thanks guys for the advice

So my brother is in the middle of writing the dissertation for his PhD. He is going to be coming out to my place (from 600 miles away) to bunker down and finish writing his dissertation. My question for everyone in this forum is: 

If you could write your dissertation in a room with the perfect writing conditions and setup, what would be in that room? 

Things I have thought of are things like a small refrigerator with cold drinks, good lighting, energy drinks... 

What kinds of things could I put in that room that would be helpful for someone grinding out their dissertation? 

Thanks in advance!

Said example high school counselor didn't even know there was both a Penn and a Penn State whatsoever to even be confused. Even supposing you are right there is also two Columbias, on any account. One is in Ohio, I believe. 
 
So again, I maintain that I've met plenty of people (non-academics usually, but also school administrators) who might have heard of Columbia insofar as they know that it's a college of some kind, some people who know it is an Ivy, and some people who have never heard of it at all on the west coast. This is just simply my lived experience having moved from West to East. Plenty of people just have never heard of the school outright. It's not personal or denigrating for me to say so, it's simply what I have experienced from multiple people in multiple west/south west cities. So I absolutely don't find it unusual at all. When you grow up much further away from regions which have 10 or more good to excellent schools or universities within a day's drive, "name brand" schools mean much less. The amount of students who applied to out of state undergrad universities in my state was so low that my high school simply didn't track them, but told me they guessed it was less than 10% of grads in a school of 3,500 students. 
 
And those who do know what Columbia is -- well the west coast in many areas has subsets of people who are staunchly anti-elitist, older, old-fashioned "boot-straps" folks. To boil down stereotypes which often do show up on the East and West coasts, the west is "self-made" and not everyone appreciates what is assumed (sometimes wrongfully) to be a person who has simply had their lives handed to them. Of course, this is not true of every Columbia or Ivy grad -- but an assumption is made and there are certainly also people who may know what Columbia is and what that means....and will act as if it is meaningless information to them or pretend they don't recognize it, until they know the kind of work you can do, or because they find the name dropping distasteful.
 
Whichever way you figure the reasoning is, you'll find that for the most part, the west coast (in broad generalized terms) has less engrained cultural self-consciousness about any elite East coast schools, which I imagine would feed into a deflating of the ego to an east coast transplant simply because less people care. I know that in reverse, I am certainly becoming more and more aware of how elite everything is over here, how strong "old money" is entrenched in everything, how there are simply things I never even considered important before that everyone where I am at is intimately aware of and cares about. 
 
So I suppose that yes, this is a completely understandable thing - the lack of recognition - might be upsetting. However, again, the attitude towards this kind of behavior (especially on the West coast) is that this behavior is crass, immature, and frankly looking to demand ass pats for being "special". I don't think calling someone a troll (e.g. someone looking to cause knee jerk reactions) is mean because it's certainly a preferable option to "well they're serious and actually trying to insult everyone who is so much lesser than them." 
 
This kind of embarrassment is irritating for pretty much anyone who doesn't have this "problem". It's an embarrassment that really says "I went into massive financial debt so people would oooh and ahhh over my degree and now I'm frustrated not enough people care and fawn over me for it." - and not many people will feel sorry about that. 
 
It sucks to go into big debt for school, it sucks to have that debt a lot. It sucks to feel like you worked hard and don't get recognized for it. But - and here's the kicker - with an attitude like the one shown, absolutely no one will feel sorry for you simply because it predicates upon insulting everyone else. 
 
There's some good advice in this thread interspersed in between the "wow, you need to fix that attitude because it's definitely not going to help you, and even convinces us that you are utterly unserious and just trying to rile people up for fun to be a jerk." comments. See a counselor about this feeling of inadequacy. Talk to someone. Reconsider your stay in graduate school after the MA is awarded -- or earlier, if you are actually miserable and this is just a misplaced feeling of upset. Frankly, it matters very little if the average joe recognizes UCSD as long as it's highly respected in your field (which apparently, it's the cream of the crop) and those people recognize it or know people at the institution (or vice-versa). 
 
It all ultimately boils down to a lot of choices but a very firm recommendation and general rule of thumb: if the way you express your upset, anxiety, or embarrassment intentionally insults other people, or demands ego-stroking, or makes people believe you are trying to be intentionally inflammatory, perhaps you need to speak more carefully about what is bothering you and fix your attitude so that people aren't immediately annoyed when they might otherwise be sympathetic.
 
Communicating your problems and distress without insulting a broad range of people or acting above everyone else is just a good life skill to have in general and will certainly fix the issue regarding "no one recognizes Columbia or understands why it's so expensive and why I took all that debt" and make it easier to maturely seek help and advice re: "I'm in a lot of debt, in a new place, I'm stressed, I don't think I was ready for this, and I feel like I should have done better or accomplished more somehow, even though I know I'm at an excellent school -- probably the best in my field. How do I handle feeling inadequate/dealing with people not understanding my debt/school when I'm not sure I was ready/should I transfer/is this the right thing/why don't I feel satisfied with the top program?"
 
All of which sound infinitely more genuine and less rude than what was actually posted. People assumed the OP was a troll because they were basically rude in a manner that seemed like it was trying to spark upset. 

Accepted grad students: Could you share a piece of advice, a website, an advice article, or other piece of information that helped you the most when completing your applications?
 
I'll start: https://sites.google.com/site/gradappadvice/
This website, especially the application timeline page, helped me immensely. 

Unfortunately OP's attitude is common here at UCSD. A lot of undergraduates joke that the only reason they chose UCSD is because they didn't get accepted to Berkeley or UCLA. To be honest, it's the reason why I went to UCSD for my undergraduate degree; when I had zero idea which career path I wanted to pursue, name recognition (and inexpensive tuition) was everything to me. Initially, I felt bummed. I knew I was "good enough" for Berkeley and UCLA, but I found myself at UCSD, a college name that a lot of people treat as "almost prestigious".
 
It took a while for me to realize UCSD's own unique strengths: we don't have the same history and wealth as Ivy Leagues like Harvard and Yale; we don't have a captivating school spirit or fantastic football team like USC (which I believe has a big influence on overall student happiness); but the academic and research opportunities are ENDLESS! Almost every undergraduate who wanted to do research, found a professor willing to accept them. My classmates had an intellectual curiosity that drove them to study many subjects, whether or not it was related to their major. The majority of UCSD students have a thirst for learning/academia/research, and our school bends backwards and forwards to satiate our thirst, even if it means giving up Division I sports and a trendy campus town. UCSD is an unassuming school in that regard.
 
When I was deciding between graduate schools, it came down to UCSD and USC. I was very tempted to pick USC... the lack of school spirit at UCSD was depressing, and I wanted so badly to attend a school with a phenomenal alumni network, a famous football team, and pretty brick buildings with growing ivy. So many famous celebrities went to USC, too, like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas! Exciting!
 
But in the end, I knew USC wasn't going to be enough. USC wasn't going to give me the same research opportunities; they even discouraged doing a thesis. No doubt that USC was the right choice for many people, but with less academic research opportunities and twice the cost, UCSD was a superior choice. Only this time, I wasn't sad about my decision. Unlike my undergraduate days, I was confident in what I wanted to study, and confident that UCSD was going to provide that for me. I'm confident in myself, and therefore confident in my decision, and don't need the shower of compliments from the public to validate why I'm here.
 
OP, it's mind-boggling that you're at the #1 school for neuroscience, but can't find the pride in that. I agree with other posters here that perhaps you should take a step back from academia and figure out what's really going on. It's possible you might have some emotional issues that are being projected onto something unrelated. Or if stopping your academic program is out of the question, I suggest seeking a counselor - we have great counselors here.

*sigh* this thread won't be good.
 
So you went to Columbia.  As you have mentioned, people on the West Coast are unfamiliar with Columbia despite it being a prestigious school.  This is because Columbia is largely unimportant to them.  They probably don't know a ton of people from there; they do not live in New York or the Northeast, and have no reason to be familiar with Columbia's strength (although I find it hard to believe people don't recognize the name at all).  But why should you care what they are familiar with?  Are they in a position to hire you?  Are they going to give you money if they recognize and value your school's name via casual conversation?  The answer to the two of these is likely no, so forget about it.
 
And so it is with UCSD.  Top 15 is very good indeed.  And a quick look at the NRC rankings show that UCSD might very well be in the top 10 (its S-rank ranged from 2-12, higher than Berkeley, higher than Caltech, higher than Columbia and UCLA and Penn).  This is a very good, very well-known neuroscience program.  The name might not be as recognizable to a non-academic as  you might like.  But you do not (should not) care about that, because these people are not going to hire you.  Their opinion is worth little in terms of actual benefit to you.  Presumably you want to go into a research career; if your department is the BEST place to do what you are doing, then others in your field will know that.  They will not care that you went to Brown if Brown's program in your field is crappy.
 
Furthermore, as you have already seen, going to a "prestigious" school is no guarantee that people will recognize the name of your college.  You went to a top 5 undergrad program and people are still going "Huh, so where is that?"  You will get similar reactions if you go to a lesser-known Ivy for grad school - basically one that is not Harvard, Yale or Princeton.  A lot of people are also unfamiliar with the shinyness of Berkeley or Stanford, especially on the East Coast.  What will you do if you manage to transfer from UCSD to Brown, for example, and you finish, and people are still like "Brown, where is that?"  Or if you go to Berkeley and get placed on the East Coast, and people are like "Berkeley, isn't that a music school?" or "Berkeley, isn't that a state school?"  Or recall how people frequently confuse Penn for Penn State and vice versa (I am currently at one of them, and people always think I am at the other.)  Will you lose your mind if you go to Penn and people think you went to Penn State when you tell them?
 
You said you won't be happy unless you graduate from a top school.  But you ARE at a top school.  You're at a school that is not only well-ranked in your field but is a well-known, nationally ranked institution.  Since rankings matter so much to you - UCSD's undergraduate programs were ranked 37th in the nation and 8th among public universities.  With 3,000 colleges and universities in the country, this puts it in the top 1-2% of universities nationwide.  It's also been ranked very highly in rankings of world universities (from 14 to 63, depending on which ranking you are using). It's estimated that there are around 20,000 universities in the world, so even being ranked #63 puts UCSD in the top 0.3% of universities worldwide.
  I guess my question is...what do you plan to be getting out of it?  Do you want an academic or research job in your field and to turn out important work?  Or do you want the momentary pleasure of people telling you you must be smart because you went to X school?
  With that said - transferring is likely to be high-risk, low-reward.  The chances of this going through successfully are low, since in order to transfer at the doctoral level you usually have to have a compelling reason to do so. And even if you finish your MA at your current school and drop out, you will essentially be "transferring" in the doctoral program sense of the word - i.e., you will need to explain to your new PIs that you were in a PhD program and you left, but now you want to start a PhD at a different program for a compelling reason.
 
You do not have one - you cannot explain to potential PIs at MIT or Stanford that you want to transfer because their school's name sounds better than your old one.  No one will take you seriously, and you will be deemed immature.  But you also don't have any other really good reason - you admit that the research fit is perfect, so you can't really fudge that, and you can't talk about interpersonal problems (real or otherwise).  You also need support from your current department to transfer programs.  How are you going to explain to your current PI that everything is going swimmingly but you are unhappy because your school's name does not make unimportant people's face light up when you tell them where you are a grad student?
 
 
*
 
FWIW, I have a PhD from an Ivy League university (Columbia, actually).  I do sometimes get the sort of shiny reaction from non-academics ("OMG, Columbia! You must be smart!") that it sounds like you are looking for.  It gives a momentary feeling of pleasure, much akin to someone telling you your shoes are cute or your new haircut is banging.  And then it passes.  It means nothing.  What is really important to me is the way that academics see my degree, and they are less dazzled by the Ivy pedigree and more interested in who I trained with and what I did when I was there.  It also only happens very occasionally, btw, and matters even less as time goes on.

Alright, this looks like it may take a turn for the worse very fast, so everyone PLEASE think for a moment before you post. 

I am a masters student, applying for phd admission for next fall. I havent been through the whole phd process yet but here is my opinion:
 
I think it is absolutely fine for you to bring him and have him stay with you. Remember that these schools are trying to convince you to come as much as you are trying to get accepted. If he will be moving to the new location with you then he also needs to checkout the area. I will bring my husband to some interviews with me next year.

I was pointing out that you can easily be sexist, paternalistic, and condescending while making factually true statements, things your previous post implied were mutually exclusive. In fact, it's precisely what happened.
 
What you originally said was this:
 
If being sexist, paternalistic, and condescending is not your intent, next time I would say something along these lines:
 
"Hey, I know you've been taught that women are supposed to play hard to get and wait for men to ask them out or show interest in them, but this is a terrible way to go about doing things. You'll find life is significantly easier and contains a lot less drama if you think of the person you're interested in as a human rather than in terms of the supposed role they're supposed to play in an artificial drama."
 
Tangentially, I would note that using "girl" to refer to adult women is generally considered to be dismissive and condescending.
 
Or continue being outraged. Whatever you want.

I don't think this is the proper way of having a civil discussion, and I'm not a moderator, but sarcastic comments in a discussion aren't very productive. I know Victorydance hasn't used appropriate language either, which is why I think many are put off by his argument, but when posting on the internet your response doesn't have to be immediate! You have time to think. 
 
Second, like I stated before, if you really believe that men are less likely to ask women out than women are likely to ask men out or these to ratios are equal, then I think there is some ignorance to vast societal norms. This isn't true in all cultures, from what I've heard, women in Asia have become more forward especially in countries where there is a decreasing female population and increasing male! But all our books, fables, stories, movies and whatever tell us that it's man's role to initiate and while you can't blame them for falling through this norm (the woman not asking the dude out) you have to admit that victorydance is probably right: the biggest factor for her not dating him right now is she never asked him out. Sure, she could have waited and he might have asked her out (he didn't) but she had no real control over that. This is a common sense argument in my opinion.

I don't think this is necessarily true. Chemistry between two people is a lot more complicated than that. I think that two people these ages might be able to have a wonderful relationship depending on the maturity of the two individuals.

Healthy cookies are the lies we tell ourselves to get through the 3 o'clock energy lull. I add nuts and seeds to this recipe to keep up the ruse: http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-best-oatmeal-cookies-youll-ever.html

What is this "healthy cookie" you speak of, and how I find or make them?

I try to keep TV-watching to only while I'm working out. If I want to watch TV, it's on my phone while I'm on the treadmill or elliptical machine. Makes for great motivation

As a fitness professional, I truly believe that there is some sort of physical activity that a person can enjoy, they just need to find out what it is.  Some people enjoy classes - they like having direction from an instructor, they feed off the energy of the class, and they enjoy the music.  Others prefer exercising alone - whether it is going for a walk, a run, a swim, a bike ride, etc.  Other people enjoy team sports - intramural teams are often welcoming and open to everyone, regardless of their ability.  Some people like to dance.  Some enjoy Pilates or yoga.  There are enough options out there that I truly believe that there is something for everyone.  Our bodies are designed to move, after all!
 
I was that chubby kid who was always picked last for teams in gym as a child.  I have lousy hand-eye coordination, so I was bad at most of the sports/activities we did in gym class.  When we had to do our required laps around the gym, I was always the last one to finish.  Yet I've now run 3 full marathons, over a dozen half marathons, and I teach group fitness classes.  I like to say that if I can be active, then anyone who is physically able to move can also be active.  If the kid who was always picked last during gym class, and who always finished last in any sort of sporting endeavour can be active and teach fitness classes, then just about anyone can be active.  It's all a matter of finding something that you enjoy, and not worrying about how you look or where you place.  I know my gym teachers would be amazed that I'm a fitness professional, and they likely wouldn't recognize me at all (I'm a healthy weight and fit).
 
I try to motivate people in my classes by reminding them how good it feels to be active, and how it can improve so many aspects of your life:  mental and physical health, sleep quality, ability to concentrate, etc.  It is also great stress relief.  I don't like to encourage people to compare themselves to others, to celebrities, or to how they "want to look" as that has been shown to be fairly ineffective.  Especially since so many of those celebrity photos are heavily photoshopped - the celebrities don't look like that themselves!  So it is practically impossible for anyone to look like the celebrities do in those photos - they aren't realistic.  I'm a firm believer in Health and Activity at Every Size, and that fitness should be pursued for health and enjoyment, and not for weight loss.
 
Some examples of how celebrity photos are altered:
http://www.vancouversun.com/entertainment/movie-guide/health/6431423/story.html?tab=PHOT
http://www.windsorstar.com/life/photos+stars+before+after+photoshop/6630599/story.html
http://collegecandy.com/2012/04/21/54-photoshopped-celebrity-before-and-after-photos/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/12/celebrity-photoshop-photos_n_3428033.html#slide=594057

My PI is seriously amazing! I brought a condensed version of our coorespondance with all of the worst moments and he was very troubled and took this very seriously. He said that on the scale of benign annoying crush to full blown assult that this is much closer to the assult side that he is playing on the borderline of expulsion. He said that putting that aside, he is unsure of whether he will be able continue working with the harrasser since he does not want anyone with that sort of character in his lab and making other students nervous. That really made me feel great. Especially since the harrasser if by far, the smartest, most knowledgeable guy in the lab and I know he is a huge asset to my PI. Also, he is a PhD student while I am an MS student so part of me worried that if my PI had to choose, the choice would be obvious. He said that legally he must involve his supervisor which he thinks needs to be done anyway to make sure this situation is handled properly. Since my PI will be out of town for the next couple weeks, he asked that I work from home during that time and that I forward him any correspondance that I get from the guy. He even told me that he didn't sleep at all last night out of worry about this situation and that he has been wondering why I seemed more reserved than usual over the past few weeks.
 
I feel so supported by people on here, my family, my department and especially my PI. I know that alot of women feel alone in these situations and I feel so lucky that I have had the exact opposite experience, with everyone in my life jumping my side to protect me.

Okay, first of all: this is not your fault. You are allowed to talk to people without expecting this kind of intensity and harassment. By talking to him and enjoying his company online, you did not invite his controlling, enraged, intense behaviors. 
 
Second of all: I don't want to alarm you, but the intensity he is showing concerns me. The rapid change in moods, the possessiveness he feels-- all of these are red flags. He may do absolutely nothing, but even if he never resorts to violence, he is displaying extremely unprofessional and inappropriate and yes predatory behavior. In your position, I would talk to an advisor. Show the emails. You ask when: I say now. He has crossed the line so many times over at this point. And remember: no matter what comes out of this, YOU are not the one creating unnecessary drama-- this guy is. 

Three things before we start:
 
1. I am certain about my choice to study a PhD. Please don't try to argue with me about whether I should work or study.
2. Yes, I know my question sounds silly and answering "just choose what your heart wants" is THE most obvious answer. However, I'd like to hear your stories and decision making which helped you along your journey. 
3. Although I appreciate everyone's opinion, I'd like to hear mostly about PhD current, future or previous students. Why? Because I think that the process of deciding for a grad school is different between Master and PhD prospects. How? Well, just for an example, Masters tend to last less than PhD so you might want to keep that in mind when thinking where to spend the next 4-5 years of your life.
 
Ok, I've done saying what I had to say.
Sorry for the previous points, I just wanted to narrow the kind of responses I might have. Also, I have rode a lot lately about "why not pursue a PhD" and "reasons why PhD sucks" and even though I agree with some of the things those texts said, I know I want to study my PhD and it feels a little bit bad when people say you shouldn't just because the regret it, had a bad experience, didn't find it useful, etc. So I am trying to avoid those negative comments
 
Then, my problem is this:
 
I am a recently graduate student for a Master's in Communications. I am not too proud of it, because of the title (Communications Studies), but it helped me acknowledging that I want to dedicate my life into research. Specifically, into research on Human-Computer Interactions from a social sciences perspective. For this -and other reasons- I decided to continue studying a PhD.
 
However, when it was time to start looking where to study I just...well, this is kind of embarrassing but, I just couldn't decide for a place.
Please don't get me wrong, I did knew some places where I wanted to study but I was never sure. I kept wondering from one place to another, surfing the web until late hours, wondering "Would this place be fine?", "Is it good here?", "Should I live here for the next 4 to 5 years?". And once I started asking those questions on Google my doubt became even bigger, and new questions arise. 
I started wondering:
 
> How important was the University's prestige?
> Was it more important the Advice than the University?
> Are there really bigger future benefits if I study in U.S.A.?
> Should I choose a place I like over a prestigious place?
> What about my future plans of marrying?
 
And the list goes on.
 
As you might have guessed, I missed last year's deadlines to apply for a PhD starting this year so I am now currently waiting for this years enrollment season so I can start my studies on Fall 2015. And even though I do got some answers back from universities like Kings College London and Stockholm University, to which I was unable to find a scholarship for this year,  I am thinking of applying for other schools in other countries. 
 
BUT (Oh, the horrible 'but') I don't know how to choose a university to study my PhD. Should I focus on the place or the adviser? The University's rank or its campus? Should I plan ahead or just decide for the momentum?
 
I'd love to hear the stories of those of you who have already decided where to study. Please let me know what did you took into consideration and what did you found to be most important.
 
So far, I have only figure out the following:
 
> I really don't want to do the GRE, but if U.S.A seems like the "best place" to study...well, I might just take them and hope I pass well enough.
> I'd love to live somewhere in Europe, but I am not sure if it is a good choice or I am just in love with the idea of waking up in the Old Continent.
> I once consider living in Asia, but someone told me it was really hard to get into a school there. 
> I've been told to consider places like India or Russia, which are not to expensive to live and have good education, but I am doubtful since I haven't really find a lot of information regarding PhD in social studies in those countries.
 
Anyway, I appreciate any help and advice you can give me. I am also sorry for the long post but, hey!, I figured that since we are all Grad Students here we are might as well used to long-long texts
 
Hehe. Once again, thank you!

Finally today I found out...I passed my qualifier!!! Had to take it twice. Bombed it the first time. Only 6 out of 17 of us made it to the second year!! Phew! I feel so lucky and blessed!
 
It feels so good to be a second year PhD!!! Maybe now I'll have a shred of a life, and hoping for a badass internship next summer!

Wow, you built a lot!
 
I am loving the DIY craze. You've got me hooked on watching DIY clips on Youtube!
 
It's just under 400 square feet (385 or so), so smaller than your's! I should have mentioned the studio will be furnished. It will have the basics: 
* full size bed with some drawers underneath
* work desk, chair, and work lamp
* floor lamp
* loveseat
* coffee table
* 2 end tables that nest into each other
* short bookcase
 
I think the bed might have a wooden frame of sorts, but I might look for a combo bookshelf/headboard that's like a hutch but over the head of the bed, or maybe will try a partial DIY for that. I guess I could look into seeing if I could elevate the bed to make more storage underneath, but I have a feeling the given frame is really heavy and cumbersome.

I'm surprised nobody has recommended Amazon yet… I bought a memory-foam mattress as well as other small furniture items. Since the memory-foam was rolled-up, shipping wasn't too expensive, and there were plenty of reviews to read beforehand.

Let me be more plain. I am a first generation college student who comes from a blue collar family, and most of the people in my immediate and extended family are scraping together enough to get by. They didn't put me through college. I worked/loaned my way through college. Every illness, every car repair, and every unexpected expense is a Big Deal when you're living below the poverty line, and doubly so when most of your family is also living below the poverty line. Luckily, I planned carefully and had good mentors, so when I finished my MA, I was able to secure a full time position, pay off the loans, and help my family out. For you, that 5-7 years of earning capacity might not mean anything, but for me and my family, money matters. Money only doesn't matter when you've always had enough.

I think you'll find that most of our reasons involve learning, but aren't solely about learning. Only the very privileged and wealthy can afford to go to graduate school purely for the pursuit of knowledge without considering the practical implications of the decision. We gotta eat, dude, and this far into the game, we can't afford to be naive.