
MammaD
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Everything posted by MammaD
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I have these questions, too! I hope someone answers. I may send gift cards to avoid the bulky package issue.
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Polish Pottery
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I am so relieved I'm not the only one who feels like this. You all are hilarious and know exactly what I'm going through. Madness!
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And there it is as I intended. Technology!
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Phone dings an email. Heart skips -- maybe I got in? Damned advertisements. (This was supposed to be haiku but I don't know how to make the text start on the next line. It looks right in my draft but not the actual post.)
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How open should I be about having a family?
MammaD replied to +Whiskey's topic in Interviews and Visits
I think being honest will demonstrate that you take both school and motherhood very seriously and have found a way to give each the time they deserve. -
Thanks so much! This is great news. I am using it now for my MPH, but will have 28 more more months left after this year (I did the first year while on active duty and used tuition assistance and scholarship money to pay). I am full-time so I get $500/semester for books and supplies. It's been the only reason I can afford to be in school since leaving active duty. Thanks for your help!
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Has anyone used it to supplement a funded program? If I get a funded position, can I still have the VA pay my tuition and a housing stipend? It's a benefit I've earned and it can help the school, too (they'll get a tuition payment they might have waived for me?).
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If I get into a program, I'll be 40 when I start. When I visited, the other students seemed very comfortable around me, and said I'd have no trouble fitting in. The environment there seemed very collegial and supportive.
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How open should I be about having a family?
MammaD replied to +Whiskey's topic in Interviews and Visits
I've been very upfront about the fact that I'm married with kids. My field is almost all women, and I'm older, so there didn't seem any point in hiding. I actually believe I have more to lose by not being successful in a PhD program than a younger, childless version of myself since I have three little ones depending on me to feed, clothe, and house them. Among other things. One of my recommenders told me she actually emphasized that I'm a mother, because she believes I thrive on a sense of service and I do well when I'm busy. She said she used my current status in a master's program while mothering and holding down a full-time job in another field and building my CV in this new one as an example of why I can handle the rigors of PhD work. I also think different fields have different thresholds for what women are expected to be able to do. Unfortunate, but true. -
Has anyone ever died from the anxiety of the wait? Because I feel like I might. And it'll be another few weeks, at least, I think.
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You can do this! I hope you keep us posted. Feel free to ask me anything you need.
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Oh, my area took a hit, but we got in this house 11 years ago before the bubble peaked (then burst). We lost about $80K in appreciation but are still ahead of where we bought, plus the equity we've built. Now, though, we have a lot of little improvements to make and a LOT of purging to do if this place is going to be show-worthy!
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Is there anyone at all in the area you could hook up with, who might be able to wear your baby in a sling/carrier while you're in interviews? Or a friend who might meet you there, or a home schooled member of your church or older child of a mom's group friend you could take along? If you feel like not interviewing in person will hurt your chances of getting in, there are options for going, taking your baby, and still presenting yourself as competent, professional, and able to juggle the demands of school and motherhood. I know you don't feel like right now is your time to be a pioneer in your field -- but I applaud you for mothering your baby in the manner that feels right to you, and I believe you will be a great example to your colleagues and fellow students that a woman's contribution to society can extend beyond her incredibly important but often hidden role as Mother. I'd love to help you brainstorm some more. I combined breastfeeding with military service for a decade and I'm now seeking to combine motherhood (all of my babies are weaned!) and a PhD program (currently combining motherhood with a MPH). You can do it, mamma!
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Very afraid. I'm moving my 3 kids with me and I'd like to move us only once -- not have to change schools again once we're there, etc. Thankfully, I'm in a more expensive market here and my house is in a desirable location, so it'll sell and I won't take a loss. I'm more worried about whether/how we'll find something in our new town. We're planning to stay there indefinitely, even after I finish school, so our kids can get through high school in one place. Very optimistic of me considering I don't even know yet if I'll be accepted!!
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I guess I'm several months late to your question but I'm in a very similar position to yours. I applied to an Epi program and a maternal/child health program because I want to do research in a specific area. The work I hope to do is quantitative and a stronger methods base seems vital. Our "stats" are nearly identical. I'd love to hear if you decided to go for it and how things are going for you. Good luck!
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My program sent me a specific email request for current term grades -- it was also listed in the application requirements for that program. Unless your program specifies or your new grades demonstrate an uptick in your potential for success, you probably don't have to submit them. Never hurts to send a polite email asking.
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One of the two programs I'm applying to requires I send current term grades ... of course I'm freaking out because at my school, professors don't have to submit grades to the registrar until Jan 4 so it'll be at least a week after that before I can send anything!,
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I told my husband if I don't get into a program, my plan is to sleep for a year or until our savings runs out. Of course I'm mostly joking, but I'm older and not really up for another year of applying. I'll need to push myself to find a job that pays the mortgage and doesn't make me lose my will to live ...
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Yes! There are a lot of positives -- in my case, housing where I've applied is cheaper than where I live now, and mortgage interest rates are way lower, so we might be looking at a house upgrade without changing finances at all. I'm also hopeful that I'll have some postdoc or employment opportunities there -- we are planning to live there at least until our 2nd graduates from high school (he'll start 4th grade next year). We are already making connections for my husband there (he's a musician), so when he joins us, hopefully he will have work to supplement his military retirement. I've lived where I am now for my entire life (except when I went away to undergrad), so it feels a little scary to move but we'll be closer to my parents, who left 10 years ago. Where I've applied is emerging as a U.S. center for the research I hope to do, so I'm optimistic that we might be able to stay there indefinitely. So many what-ifs! I'm ready to find out whether I've been accepted or not!
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I honestly think I'm more worried about my kids' transition than mine. This isn't really what the OP is asking about, but because it's not "just me," I kind of obsess about everything being just right. I want them to be happy and in a good school, doing well, finding friends, feeling comfortable. I worry that if their transition isn't so good, my studies will suffer because my kids have to come first. Hopefully, I'm worrying over nothing (and hopefully I get in!). I also find I'm better suited now for where I'd like to be headed. Ironically, it was having children that prompted my new career field. I was a clarinet player in the Army for 17 years before figuring out I have a different calling. In any case, I think we all figure out how to balance what needs to be balanced. I also think the perspective motherhood brings can add to your school experience, perhaps in more ways than it might detract from it.
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Veteran mom here -- my little ones are 10, 8, and 5. I'm also a military Veteran ... 17 years in the Army (got out in July, oldest was 9-1/2). I'm finishing my MPH in May. My husband is still on active duty and I might be a geographical single mom if I get into a PhD program -- he'll have to stay here unless we find another assignment he's qualified for closer to where I've applied. I don't sleep much. I have to manage my time very closely and I spent a few hours Christmas night working on my thesis questionnaire because I need every hour! My husband believes in me and does a lot at home. Our house is messy but not dirty or gross (we keep the kitchen clean, trash goes out ... but I have piles of paper and textbooks all over the place). My kids are old enough to be ok with some separation now but in the early years, they stayed with me -- traveled, came to conferences, everything. If you can time your pregnancy to coincide with some time off, summer, LOA, some way to enable you those first few precious months ... I'd highly recommend that. I had 12 weeks leave with each baby and it wasn't enough for me -- I went back to work tired and missing my baby. But -- school might be a better time than when you're new in a job after graduation. I'm a little freaked out about potentially being way older than everyone else and managing parenting, a new school, new house, new life for them and me, but hopefully, it'll be worth it (if I get in).