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Linelei

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  1. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from AwayGeologistKid in SOP mistakes: what to avoid   
    It seems previous posters have pretty much covered it! I will say, though, that if you do have unique circumstances or some truly big event in your life, the rule against spending too much time on personal stuff may not apply so much. I think the issue is when you try to create the appearance of depth, as opposed to actually addressing major life experiences.
     
    I viewed my personal statement as sort of a filter. I'm a nontraditional student, so I decided to be really up front about why I went to school a little later and how that affected my goals and direction. I figured that anyone who wasn't comfortable with that probably wasn't someone I wanted to spend 5-6 years working with. It's sort of like letting someone know on a first date that you have a kid; sure, some people might be turned off by the fact, but isn't it better to find that out early? This strategy seems to have worked for me, as I have been accepted to a program in which everyone I'll be working with seems to value and appreciate my life experiences!
  2. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from alflick123 in Reno, NV   
    I live in Reno now, and attend UNR. I actually love it! The campus is beautiful, which is not something I expected, coming from California. There are actually lots of things to do in Reno, especially as the weather gets warmer, as we have tons of street fairs and longer events. The famous Hot August Nights brings all sorts of cool classic cars to town, and Artown is a month-long celebration of art and music, with tons of free or cheap concerts, art shows, workshops, etc. Wingfield Park downtown is often the site of these free concerts - bring a lawn chair and watch the shows, or play in the river. The Reno River Festival is great if you love rafting/kayaking. In Sparks' Victorian Square there is the Ribs Cookoff every year and big farmer's markets on Thursdays. We also have some good cultural events, such as the Greek Festival and the Italian Festival. And of course when it is cold there is skiing, snowboarding, and snowshoeing, as well as an outdoor ice-skating rink downtown.
     
    As for areas to live, the area west of Campus is all right, but don't even think about going east. There are some new, fancy apartment complexes to the northeast of campus along McCarran, which are still in not-great neighborhoods but on the edge. I know some grad students who live there. If you have kids, I would highly recommend looking at the Northwest - McCarran drops you right off north of campus, and the areas along Kings Row and Mae Anne have good mid-range pricing but are much safer. The approximately 10-15 minute commute is totally worth it for the better schools and safer area. Another idea is the Old Southwest, which is full of adorable 50s-60s ranch-style homes, although there are less apartment options in that area and more houses for rent. 
     
    As for Reno ethos, it really surprised me. There are a lot of Nor Cal transplants like me, and with that comes a bit of hippy ideals (a pp mentioned Pneumatic Diner, there is the River School with organic gardening classes and full moon circles, the Great Basin Food Coop has organic, locally grown produce, etc). There is also the other side of Reno ethos, as evidenced by the casinos and the yearly rodeo. One huge plus about Reno is the music scene - we are a stop for a lot of major bands, as is Tahoe, so you don't have to go far if you love shows. The High Sierra music festival is also close by in the summer. For real "culture," there is the art museum, which is small but nice, and they get some big artists visiting. The Pioneer Center or Nightingale Hall on campus are the places to go for operas, ballets, and philharmonic performances. If you like drinking, downtown bars organize fairly regular themed pub crawls (like the Zombie Crawl for Halloween), and there are wine walks as well. 
     
    Campus itself is pretty active, with lots of clubs and free events. Every Thursday night there is a free movie, either in the student union or on the lawn in front of the student union in nicer weather. UNR attracts a lot of international students, so there are great cultural events on campus, such as Night of All Nations, which had food and entertainment from over 30 countries last year. Facilities on campus are really nice; a few years ago we got a ton of money pouring into campus (ah, those were the days), so there is a new student union, science building, and state-of-the-art library. The 'Knowledge Center,' as it is called, is my favorite place on campus. The 5th floor has sweeping views of the snow-capped mountains surrounding the city. We also have a new Molecular Medicine building at the north end of campus, with great facilities and equipment. I've heard there are all sorts of cool gadgets for the physics and engineering folks to play with, too, and the Journalism building was just renovated as well.
     
    I've had a great experience at UNR and in Reno. It doesn't have a great reputation, but that almost makes it better, because the people aren't uppity. A lot of people here love to hike, bike, kayak, and enjoy the nature surrounding us. Yes, there are casinos, but that also means good restaurants, specials for locals, and some cheap activities (like the Grand Sierra Cinema, where all movie tickets are $3). Reno and UNR may not look shiny from the outside, but I think this is a great place to live. Feel free to PM me if you have specific questions!
  3. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from VioletAyame in Gifts for graduate student hosts?   
    I gave some small chocolates to those who hosted me and drove me to and from the airport. One thing I forgot to consider, though: one of my hosts was a vegan! So perhaps that is something to keep in mind in the future. I also sent thank you emails after the fact. The grad students seemed surprised but pleased, which is not a bad reaction. Regardless of whether they enjoy it or are getting reimbursed, I think it's just polite to give something when anyone lets you into the privacy of their home; I know whenever I have company I feel the need to straighten up, vacuum, wash towels, etc, so it's reciprocity for that extra bit of work.
  4. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from csibaldwin in Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school   
    I get variations of this one all the time, such as, "Oh, then you can diagnose/analyze me," or, "So you'll be able to prove ____ is crazy?"

    My favorite is: "So then you'll be able to read my mind?" To which I reply, "psychOLOGY is not the same as psychIC" or just, "Yes."
  5. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to PsychGirl1 in Thesis Defense   
    Thank you! I didn't do very well on my proposal so I was nervous. But for some reason I was in the zone and rocked it! Feel so much more relaxed now :-)
     
    Thanks for all your advice!
  6. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to pears in reverse snobbery re: academic achievement   
    soul: whoa, cool the judgmental jets, there. i encounter this in my field of work and study, and i don't even have a degree beyond a B.S./B.A. right now- so, obviously, i don't expect any oohing or aahing. however, i expect everyone i work with to respect everyone else for what they bring to the table. none of us would have our jobs if we weren't qualified in our own special ways; i learn just as much from people with GEDs as i do from people with PhDs, as long as both ends of communication are open and respectful. there is a difference between not hearing the praise you think you deserve, and having people go out of their way to actively step on your toes and put you down. 
  7. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to Queen of Kale in reverse snobbery re: academic achievement   
    (the following is in no way meant to disparage any previous posters)
     
    While I'm sure that on occasion reverse academic snobbery exists, I think more often than not it's a phenomenon much like "reverse racism" - in that the very people who feel they are being wronged are in fact simply worried they will not get the advantage they feel they are owed.  I'm not an anti-intellectual, and there is certainly a strange cultural undertow which sometimes makes me feel as if I'm swimming upstream when I strive to be well informed, articulate, and logical.  For example, the constant need for politicians in America to make a big show of being "plain spoken" and folksy.  So in a broad sense, yes, I think culturally there is an annoying smart vs. "real" perception problem. 
     
    But, on an individual basis, I have to assume everyone is trying their best.  I just assume an intentional posture of niavete in order to not become an ass-hat myself.  Because for me it is better to assume if someone boasts to me that they would never be bothered to read a book that perhaps they have an undiagnosed learning disability, or an incredible strength in art, or simply a strong preference for auditory learning but they listen to pod casts religiously - whatever, than to assume they are just a big stupid idiot who hates smart people.
     
    I barely graduated high school, I'm the only one of my friends from that period of my life who did finish high school, I married a high school drop out, and I spent much of a decade working in a hair salon.  Many of my clients were college students, graduate students, law students, or scientists from the nearby national lab.  The most articulate, interesting, and accomplished people also tended to be the people who just spoke to me like I was a person and were completely unconcerned with impressing me or impressing upon me the importance of education.  Occasionally I had a jackass in my chair, and it's 50/50 that person thought I was an elitist high brow snob or an uneducated idiot rube.  
     
    I have strong feelings about this, because I've been on both sides, and have been perceived as being on both sides the entire time depending on who I was with and what I was doing.  In the end I found that as with anything, you won't change anyone who isn't interested, who has their guard up, and the more you push the more they will build up a defense against you and what you represent.  If you have a jackass in your salon chair, or in your life, treat them well until you get get them out the door and don't let them back.  And if you're dealing with a non-jackass, don't push an agenda or a belief system, and if someone is interested in your views, your beliefs, or your value system (including placing a high value on education) they will see that in your actions and ask you directly if they want to know more.  (All this is, of course, just one blue collar lady's opinion)
  8. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to jkathleen09 in Tips on cutting some moving costs   
    If you're using a moving truck but not hiring a moving company (like getting a uhaul or something), you can hiring moving help.  Local moving helpers will advertise on Uhaul.com and you can hire 2-3 people to load or unload for you.  You can get buddies to help you load up, but once you're in your new town, you might not have friends around to do that.  Hiring moving help can make it go much quicker, and it costs much less than hiring a moving company.
  9. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to SeriousSillyPutty in Too dumb for grad school?   
    If you search the forum for writing anxiety, I think you'll find you're not alone in getting blocked on papers.  I too am a first year student, and while I had major writer's block anxiety as an undergrad, I thought my work years would have helped me to outgrow it.  Alas, they didn't. 
    It wasn't that I needed help learning how to write, and it wasn't just time management... it was that, if I sat locked in a room with absolutely no stimulation but my paper, I would try to write a sentence, I would question if it was the right sentence, freeze, and then contemplate my belly button for an hour.  I needed someone to help me figure out why I had such big block when it came to writing papers, even though I am so verbose that I regularly write 1,000-word emails (and GC posts, for that matter) then have to dial them back.  So I took advantage of my university's free student counseling.
    I'm not "cured", and the only paper I've had to write since getting help was for a class outside my department (less pressure), so it's not a controlled experiment, but talking to someone did help.  I really care about the craft of writing (as it sounds like you do too), and when I put something in a paper, it feels like it is an official record of my mind, so I want to be exactly right.  It sounds silly, but contrary to the platitude about "giving it 110%", I'm trying to convince myself that 90% will be okay.  If there is a weak point or hole in a paper, acknowledge it, skip it, and write the rest of the paper.  Then if I have time before the deadline and nothing else to do (this never happens) I can go back and fix it. 
    Someone else on the forum said that, when writing personal statements, got the juices flowing by writing a really awful statement.  I've done this sometimes with starting papers.  (Ex: "Some people don't believe in global warming.  That's stupid cuz all the scientists know it's real. But people are brainwashed and then try to stay brainwashed.  That's stupid.  We should change it.")    If it's intentionally awful, it doesn't matter how disorganized, poorly worded, or rhetorically unsound it is, but you can still hit some of your main points, and it can be a way of expressing what you want to get at.
    Have you heard of WriteOrDie.com ? It makes obknoxious sounds at you if you quit typing for more than a few seconds.  It's horrible for writing well-crafted prose, and not so great for academic stuff where you have to be referencing things all the time, but I have found it useful.  After I read a paper that gets me thinking, I'll pull up Write Or Die and spend a half hour writing my thoughts based on the article and any connections to other stuff I've thought about.  I don't cite anything, I make claims I'm not positive I can support, and if I can't think of how to finish a sentence I just hit Enter and start a new one.  Then I paste that into a file called "paper scraps", which I later used to provide some scaffolding to more proper work.  It turns out I don't have to change as much as I think I will.  It's basically a way to trick myself into writing SOMETHING which is what I know I should do but get frozen on when I think of it as part of a formal paper.
    The last thing I did was that I looked at the due date and realized that I would be swamped with tests that week, so I knew I had to get started on the paper earlier (I had all semester to write it), but also knew I always go up the deadline.  So, I emailed the prof and told him that I had to have the deadline moved up so that I could focus on other things. Realistically, he probably wouldn't have done anything if I didn't turn it in on "my" due date, but fear of breaking the commitment I had made was enough to force me to get it done by the date I said.  I could easily work on it for another week, and it would be better... there were aspects of the issue I didn't touch, sources I over-used when it would have been better to use their sources, etc.  But: It. Is. Done.  And if he wants me to fix it later, I can.  Or if I want to use part of it for a future publication, I can fix it up.  It's 90%, and that is good enough.  "Done is better than good," as my friend reminds me.
    ...Now let's see if I can remember this for the next paper...
    Good luck!
  10. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to Andean Pat in Advice for a first year PhD student   
    Absolutely!!!!
     
    Now, Sigaba, I did use the search engine, but came up with not very helpful advice. Maybe you are right, maybe what was said here is no different from other threads. But that does not give you the authority to be so harsh and condescending. In some threads I posted a question that had been discussed elsewhere and very kind people  only pointed out those threads. Finally, thank you for posting the URLs of those other threads, I am on them right now!
     
    Juliet & the rest: I can't thank you enough. Graduate school here is completely different (you enrol in one university but you don't need to take all the courses there and, very often, your advisor  does not belong to that school). I am anxious, happy, stressed, sad for leaving, all at the same time (and doing what Juliet mentioned: lots of exercise). I'm sorry my post carries no advice, but I can't just sit and read and not be thankful. Really.  
     
    AP
  11. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to juilletmercredi in Advice for a first year PhD student   
    About your dog: I think that depends entirely on you and your program. I am in a social science program where the majority of my analysis and writing can be done from home, and I prefer to work from home or from a library (as opposed to my cube in the windowless cube farm). When I was taking classes I was generally there from 9-6 or so, but now that my coursework is finished I am rarely at the school itself. I go for meetings, seminars, interesting kinds of things and I do most of my work remotely. My time is verrry flexible, and if my building didn't prohibit it I would get a dog in a heartbeat. Another thing to keep in mind: a dog can be a great comfort when you're all stressed out over graduate school.

    Advice?

    Age:
    -Don't feel like you have nothing to offer just because you are younger. I was 22 when I started graduate school. You got accepted to the program for a reason, and chances are you are just as equipped as any older students are to successfully complete the program, just in a different way.

    -Your older classmates may be just as terrified as you. Talk to them. You have a lot in common. You are, after all, in the same place.

    -You will feel like an imposter, like you don't belong, or like you are constantly behind. Or all three. It's normal. It will pass. (Well, sort of.) People of all ages go through this.

    Adviser related:
    -If you are lucky enough to get both research interest fit and personality fit perfect, congratulations! But sometimes, personality fit is more important than research interest fit as long as the research isn't too different. A great adviser is interested in your career development, likes you as a person, advocates for you, and wants to hear your ideas. Even if his or her research is quite different from yours, they may give you the autonomy to work on your own projects and just supervise you. A bad personality fit will drive you nuts, even if you love his or her research. Consider that when evaluating your adviser fit. (This will vary by field: research fit may be less important in the humanities, more important in the natural and physical sciences. Social sciences are somewhere in-between.)

    -Don't be afraid to be straight up blunt with your adviser when it comes to asking about your progress. Ask if you are where you should be both academic program wise and getting-a-job-after-this-mess-wise.

    -Be proactive. Advisers love when you draw up an agenda for your one-on-one meetings, come with talking points and progress to share, have concrete questions to ask, and have overall shown that you have been thoughtful and taken control of your own program. Of course, this won't immediately come easily to you, but in time you will work up to it. Every semester I type up my semester goals, and at the beginning of the year I type up annual goals. I show them to my adviser and we talk about whether they are too ambitious, or whether I need to revise them, and how I can meet them.

    -Don't expect your adviser to actually know what courses you have to take to graduate. They will know about comprehensive exams and the dissertation, but a lot of professors don't really keep up with the course requirements, especially if their program is in flux. Get you a student handbook, and find out what you need to take. Map it out in a grid, and check off things when you finish them. Show this to your adviser every semester. You may have to explain how such and such class fills a requirement.

    -Nobody loves you as much as you, except your mother. Keep this in mind as you take in advice from all sources, including your adviser. Your adviser is there to guide you, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything he says.

    Studying:
    -You will have to read more than you ever did before, in less time than you ever have before, and you will be expected to retain more than you ever have before. The way that you studied in undergrad may need some tweaking. Be prepared for this.

    -Corollary: you may find that your methods change with age or interests or time. I preferred to study alone in college, but in grad school, I prefer to study in groups. It keeps me on task and the socialization keeps me motivated. You may find that you shift from being a more auditory learner to a visual learner or whatever.

    -You will feel behind at first. This is normal.

    -At some point you will realize that your professors don't actually expect you to read everything they assign you. This, of course, will vary by program, but there will be at least one class where the reading is actually impossible to do in one week. The point is to read enough that you know the major themes and can talk intelligently about them, and then pick some of the readings to really dig into and think more deeply about.

    -For most programs, don't worry so much about grades. If you stay on top of your work and do what you're supposed to, you will probably get an A. How much grades matter varies from program to program. In some programs, a B is a signal that you are not up to par, and more than a few Bs will warrant a discussion with your adviser or the DGS. My program isn't like that - A, B, it's all meaningless. My adviser doesn't even know what my grades are. But at almost all programs, a C means you need to retake the course, and two Cs means you have to convince the DGS not to kick you out.

    Extracurricular activity: What's that? No, seriously:
    -A lot of your time will be unstructured. You will have coursework, but most grad classes meet once a week for two hours and you may have three classes. You may have meetings with your adviser every so often and some seminars or things to catch (like we have grand rounds and colloquia that are required), but a lot of time will be unstructured. However, since you have so much more work than you had in undergrad, you actually will have less free time than you had in undergrad. This may initially cause you great anxiety. It did for me. Some people love unstructured time, though. (I don't.)

    -Because of this, you'll have to be planful about your non-grad school related stuff.

    -TAKE TIME OFF. DO it. It's important for your mental health. However you do it doesn't matter. Some people work it like a 9-5 job. Some people take a day off per week (me) and maybe a few hours spread across the week. Some people work half days 7 days a week. However you do it, there needs to be a time when you say "f this, I'm going to the movies."

    -Find your happy place, something that keeps you the you you were when you came in. I love working out. It gives me energy and I feel good. I stay healthy. I also love reading fiction, so sometimes I just curl up with a good book, work be damned. You have to give yourself permission to not think about work, at least for a couple of hours a week. You may also discover new hobbies! (I never worked out before I came to graduate school.)

    -Your work will creep into all aspects of your life, if you let it. This is why I hate unstructured time. You will feel guilty for not doing something, because in graduate school, there is ALWAYS something you can do. ALWAYS. But since there will always be more work, there's no harm in putting it aside for tomorrow, as long as you don't have a deadline.

    -You may need to reach outside of your cohort for a social life. None of my close friends are in my doctoral cohort. I've met master's students in my program, master's students in other programs, and I know a few non-graduate students I hang out with, too. Go to graduate student mixers. (If your university doesn't have any, organize some, if you like planning parties.) Join a student group that doesn't take up too much time. I had a doctoral acquaintance who kinda laughed at me because I joined some student groups other than the doctoral student one, and I was usually the only doctoral student in those groups, but I met some close friends (and future job contacts) and had a good time.

    -DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF GRADUATE SCHOOL. This is paramount. This is important. You are a well-rounded, complex, multifaceted human being. NEVER feel bad for this. Everybody wants some kind of life outside of work. Yes, you may loooove your field, but that doesn't mean you want to do it all day long. Some other doctoral students, and perhaps professors, may make you feel bad about this. Don't let them. Just smile and nod. Then disappear when you need to.

    Career:
    -This is job preparation. Remember that from Day One. Always be looking for ways to enhance your skills. Read job ads and find out what's hot in your field, what's necessary, what's in demand. For example, in my field statistics and methods are a hot commodity, and they're not a passing fad. I happen to really like statistics and methods, so I have pursued that as a concentration of mine.

    -Don't be afraid to take on volunteer work and part-time gigs that will give you skills that will be useful both inside academia and out, as long as it's not against your contract. Your adviser may be against it, but he doesn't have to know as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.

    -If you want to work outside of academia - if you are even *considering* the possibility - please please definitely do the above. Even if you aren't considering it, consider the possibility that you won't get a tenure-track job out the box and that you may need to support yourself doing something else for a while. You will have to prove to employers that you have developed usable, useful skills and this is one of the easiest ways to do it. But don't overdo it - get the degree done.

    -For more academic related ones - always look for opportunities to present and publish. Presentations look good on your CV. Publications look better. When you write seminar papers, wonder if you can publish them with some revision. Write your seminar papers on what you maybe think you may want to do your dissertation on. Even if you look at them three years later and think "these suck," you can at least glean some useful references and pieces from them. Discuss publication with your adviser early and often, and if you have the time and desire, seek out publication options with other professors and researchers. But if you commit to a project, COMMIT. You don't want to leave a bad impression.

    -If you can afford it, occasionally go to conferences even if you aren't presenting. You can network, and you can hear some interesting talks, and you may think about new directions for your own research. You can also meet people who may tell you about jobs, money, opportunities, etc.

    -Always try to get someone else to pay for conference travel before you come out of pocket. Including your adviser. Do not be shy about asking if he or she can pay. If he can't, he'll just say no. Usually the department has a travel fund for students, but often it's only if you are presenting.

    -If you are interested in academia, you should get some teaching experience. There are two traditional ways to do this: TAing a course, and teaching as a sole instructor. If you can help it, I wouldn't recommend doing a sole instructor position until you are finished with coursework. Teaching takes a LOT of time to do right. You should definitely TA at least one course, and probably a few different ones. But don't overdo it, if you can help it, because again, it takes a LOT of time. More than you expect at the outset. If you are in the humanities, I think sole instructor positions are very important for nabbing jobs so when you are in the exam/ABD phase, you may want to try at least one. If your own university has none, look at adjuncting for nearby colleges, including community colleges. (I would wager that the majority of natural science/physical science students, and most social science students, have never sole taught a class before they get an assistant professor job. At least, it's not that common n my field, which straddles the social and natural sciences.)

    -Always look for money. Money is awesome. If you can fund yourself you can do what you want, within reason. Your university will be thrilled, your adviser will be happy, and you can put it on your CV. It's win-win-win! Don't put yourself out of the running before anyone else has a chance to. Apply even if you think you won't get it or the odds are against you (they always are), as long as you are eligible. Apply often. Apply even if it's only $500. (That's conference travel!) Money begets money. The more awards you get, the more awards you will get. They will get bigger over time. If you are in the sciences and social sciences, you should get practice writing at least one grant. You don't have to write the whole thing, but at least get in on the process so that you can see how it's done. Grant-writing is very valuable both in and outside of graduate school.

    -Revise your CV every so often. Then look and decide what you want to add to it. Then go get that thing, so you can add it.

    -The career office at big universities is often not just for undergrads. I was surprised to learn that my career center offers help on CV organization and the academic job search, as well as alternative/non-academic career searches for doctoral students. In fact, there are two people whose sole purpose it is to help PhD students find nonacademic careers, and they both have PhDs. This will vary by university - some universities will have very little for grad students. Find out before you write the office off.

    -It's never too early to go to seminars/workshops like "the academic job search inside and out", "creating the perfect CV," "getting the job," etc. NEVER. Often the leader will share tips that are more aimed towards early graduate students, or tidbits that are kind of too late for more advanced students to take care of. This will also help you keep a pulse on what's hot in your field. It'll help you know what lines you need to add to your CV. And they're interesting.

    Other:

    -Decide ahead of time what you are NOT willing to sacrifice on the altar of academia. Then stick to it.
    I'm serious. If you decide that you do NOT want to sacrifice your relationship, don't. If it's your geographical mobility, don't. I mean, be realistic, and realize that there will always be trade-offs. But you have to think about what's important to you for your quality of life, and realize that there is always more to you than graduate school.

    -If you don't want to be a professor, do not feel guilty about this. At all. Zero. However, you will have to do things differently than most doctoral students. Your adviser will probably never have worked outside of the academy (although this may vary depending on the field) so he may or may not be able to help you. But you have a special mission to seek out the kinds of experiences that will help you find a non-academic job. Test the waters with your adviser before you tell him this. My adviser was quite amenable to it, but that's because I told him that my goal was to still do research and policy work in my field just not at a university, AND because it's quite common in my field for doctoral students to do non-academic work. If you're in a field where it's not common (or where your professors refuse to believe it's common, or it's not supposed to be common)…well, you may be a little more on your own.

    -Every so often, you will need to reflect on the reasons you came to graduate school. Sometimes, just sit and think quietly. Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love your field? Do you need this degree to do what you want to do? Usually the answer is yes and yes, and usually you'll keep on trucking. But sometimes when the chips are down you will need to reevaluate why you put yourself through this in the first place.

    -To my great dismay, depression is quite common in doctoral students. Graduate work can be isolating and stressful. Luckily your health insurance usually includes counseling sessions. TAKE THEM if you need them. Do not be ashamed. You may be surprised with who else is getting them. (I found out that everyone in my cohort, including me, was getting mental health counseling at a certain point.) Exercise can help, as can taking that mental health day once a week and just chilling. Don't be surprised if you get the blues…

    -…but be self-aware and able to recognize when the depression is clouding your ability to function. Doctoral programs have a 50% attrition rate, and this is rarely because that 50% is less intelligent than, less motivated than, less driven than, or less ambitious than the other 50% that stays. Often they realize that they are ridiculously unhappy in the field, or that they don't need the degree anymore, or that they'd rather focus on other things in life, or their interests have changed. All of this is okay!

    -You will, at some point, be like "eff this, I'm leaving." I think almost every doctoral student has thought about dropping out and just kicking this all to the curb. You need to listen to yourself, and find out whether it is idle thought (nothing to worry about, very normal) or whether you are truly unhappy to the point that you need to leave. Counseling can help you figure this out.

    -Don't be afraid to take a semester or a year off if you need to. That's what leaves of absence are for.

    Lastly, and positively…

    …graduate school is great! Seriously, when else will you ever have the time to study what you want for hours on end, talk to just as interested others about it, and live in an intellectual community of scholars and intellectuals? And occasionally wake up at 11 am and go to the bank at 2 pm? Sometimes you will want to pull out all of your hair but most of the time, you will feel fulfilled and wonderfully encouraged and edified. So enjoy this time!
  12. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to rustledjimmies in UCLA Fall 2013   
    I visited there the first week of march. blown away by the campus. Hands down one of the most beautiful schools I've been to -- which I was not quite expecting from LA. 
     
    Looking forward to MINIMAL SWEATSHIRT WEARING. I am so tired of cold winters!!!!
  13. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from rustledjimmies in UCLA Fall 2013   
    Hello everyone! I am so excited to be starting in the social psychology Ph.D. program this fall. As others are saying, I am also nervous about housing. Since I have a whole apartment's worth of furniture, I am hoping to find a two bedroom place and rent out the other bedroom to another grad student. Let me know if you would be interested and are not allergic to cats!  
     
    Have you all visited yet? It is such a beautiful campus! I'm going back this summer to apartment-hunt before officially moving, and am looking forward to seeing the area when it's warmer (my interview was in January).
  14. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from BeingThere in Too specific research interests - having significant trouble finding POI's willing to take my research on   
    I second PsychGirl's advice that your research interests don't have to 100% match those of your POIs. You may not find out until you email them, but those partial-match people may have had an idea bouncing around in their heads about expanding or starting a new line of research with which you might fit well. Professors' research interests often evolve. I also have very specific interests, and when I was emailing professors I briefly described what I wanted to research and then asked if they would be interested in supporting a project like that. Some said no, but some said yes! That helped me add a couple more schools to my list. 
     
    Also in terms of contacting professors, you are very early, so I'm not surprised they haven't emailed you back yet. I started emailing the summer before application season, and I still needed to re-email several people in September. Don't write them off! This is a crazy time of year. I'd email again during the summer & mention that you had previously emailed, then quickly summarize what you said before. 
     
    Regarding your interests, it is wonderful that you have specific interests and I wouldn't suggest letting go of those! As other people have said, your grad education may not precisely match those interests, but you can always keep them for after you finish, or as smaller projects, etc. You will probably be able to find ways to incorporate those interests along the way, even if your major projects aren't perfect matches for them. For me, I am sure that 5-6 years of grad school will affect my knowledge, interests and passions in ways I can't yet foresee. I am lucky to have found a PI who is excited about my research ideas, but he also wants me to work on a related project I had never before considered but am now quite excited about. So my advice is to hold on to those interests, but with a loose grip to allow for your own growth during grad school.
  15. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to ghanada in Los Angeles, CA   
    You will not get your own room for under $700 in Westwood or areas within walking distance. An average 2 bdrm Westwood apt goes for $2,000-2,400. And that probably won't even come with parking spots, you would have to pay a monthly fee for those. 
     
    The only areas somewhat near UCLA where I was able to pay $700 for my own room were in Palms, Culver City, Venice, or Mar Vista. But those areas are definitely not walking distance. They are reasonable using a bus or biking, but not walking. Getting down to $500 for your own room is REALLY REALLY tough. You would definitely have to look further out and you would have be in sketchier areas for sure. Keep in mind UCLA is smacked between Bel Air and Beverly Hills, also neighboring Brentwood, Malibu, Palisades, Santa Monica, etc. It is a gorgeous area, but you are paying for it. 
     
    I would personally recommend Palms. It is very central, close to freeways, right along the Blue Bus lines, and close to downtown Culver City. Plus parking is very reasonable around there. You can definitely find something in the $500-700 range if you take on some roommates. If you are willing to move your budget up to like $750-850 you could actually find some cool places in West LA, like the neighborhoods west of Sepulveda and south of Wilshire. I used to live off Ohio and Colby area for that slightly higher price range. That area is a long walk/short bike ride or short bus ride. There's also a lot of stuff going on around there. That is probably my favorite living area around UCLA for the price. 
  16. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to butterfingers2010 in If I knew then what I know now...   
    Things I learned in the process of applying to grad school:

    -The GRE is really not as important as it's cracked up to be. It's just one part of the total package of your application, and if you have most other things going for you, it's nothing to lose sleep over, nor is it a reason to not apply to your dream school! I had an AWFUL GRE score and I got into my dream school. I shudder to think that at one point, I thought about not applying because of this.
    -Not everyone you ask will want to write your LOR, and that's fine. Take your time to find someone who really believes in you and your goals and who will enthusiastically say "Yes. I would love to help you get into grad school!"
    -If you're on the fence about a particular school, take time to go visit. Pay close attention to your gut feeling. If you get bad vibes or it just doesn't seem like a good fit, go home and cross it off your list.
    -Writing your statement of purpose is truly an art form and should be treated as such. This means that you should start writing as early as possible and that your work should evolve over time. Think of it as a formal portrait of your professional llife and goals. Have at least three different people read it. If you don't get a "Wow!" or a "That was so interesting!" or "That's great!" you need to re-write. You should also give your SOP the "anyone" test. If anyone could write it, then it's not really about you. Don't be afraid to be yourself and take some risks in your SOP-within reason. After all, the adcomm is using the SOP to get to know you! If they don't like you, then that is probably not where you wanted to go to school, anyway.
    -Never, ever give up. The application process definitely challenges your sense of self, and is one of the most stressful things you'll do, but it's' well worth it when you start getting those acceptance letters in the mail. If you don't get accepted, don't sweat it. It just wasn't meant to be.
  17. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from ChildPsychEnthusiast in Developing a research question?   
    Have you discussed the McNair research requirements with your mentor? Sometimes mentors have great ideas for projects you can take on that fit with their existing research lines. This approach is great for people new to research, because you have an expert on hand to help with all the theoretical questions/issues that come up. The mentor usually likes it, too, because they might have had a little idea bouncing around but didn't want to stick a grad student on a small project. Just be sure to make the timeline and restrictions clear, as you are probably going to want a project that is very limited in scope due to time constraints.
  18. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to iowaguy in Opinions, Opinions, Opinions   
    If it's only for one year, I personally wouldn't give much weight to the city (you can live anywhere for one year, IMHO).
     
    Best to focus on the program/POI and which school fits best with your long-term goals.
  19. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to Hank Scorpio in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    Oh gosh, the horrors of online dating. I went on a few dates with people I met online...doesn't typically go well.

    Personally, I'm excited to be surrounded by like-minded people. I'm by no means making dating a priority in grad school, but definitely leaving that option open. I spent some time after my undergrad in the work force, and the only place to really meet people is...well, work. And people who meet in the work place (when we're talking about call centres, restaurants, etc.) are meeting because, for the most part, they're there to make money. It's not usually because of a specific worldview or interest in a certain subject matter. But in grad school, entirely different story. It will be nice to be around dating prospects who not only share interests, but see them as significantly important.
  20. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to crazygirl2012 in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    I'll play! A girl messaged me who didn't really seem like my type for multiple reasons, but I didn't want to discount anyone right away, so I agreed to meet her for a date. I gave her my number, and she started texting me all. day. every. day. When I began to ignore some of her texts (like the ones that just said "what are you doing?"), she got upset. I hadn't even met her yet, and I'm the type of person who would be completely turned off and downright terrified by anyone being clingy. I was very nice when I called off the date, and she seemed okay with it. A month later, she messaged me to say hello and ask if we could still talk online occasionally. A couple messages later, she casually mentioned that she had been arrested that week for assaulting someone (not in self-defense), but that it was okay and she just had a bad temper. Yeah, I didn't reply to that message. The story would have been way better had I actually gone through with the date... but I can't say I regret canceling!
  21. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to crazygirl2012 in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    If and when I get into a serious relationship in grad school, I would love for my partner to be another grad student. Really. Preferably not in the same department, probably not in the same field, and maybe even not at the same university. I'll be about a 45-minute drive away from a much larger university. Considering how much I love my personal space and time, that would actually be a perfect distance! And if I do get married eventually, I would prefer to marry another academic.

    ...then again, I'm a lesbian, so some people are going to have issues with my relationships no matter who I date.
  22. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to WhaWhat in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    I think perhaps you're being a bit myopic based on your own very limited experiences and slightly rude. If a person enters a program in a new city which requires he or she put in 60-70 hrs a week to excel, it's very possible the person will find it difficult to meet people outside the program or have the time to build a relationship with them. If you didn't have time to play rugby, what types of friends would that leave you with?
  23. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to Dal PhDer in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    oh my goodness!! Where do I start!!! Ahh!

    Ok- I think dating other grad students is okay...dating other grad students in your lab...uuugh.

    I think people need to be careful about departmental/lab dating- especially if you are trying to 'hide it'. Don't. We all know. And you will become the butt of so many inside jokes. I also think that this has the opportunity to look bad on the students from the supervisor's point of view, and other lab mates.

    I am single, and I often wonder if I were to date someone now, if it would be easier to date a fellow grad student verses non-student. On one side, a non-student offers a complete and utter break from the lifestyle and would give a different perspective, however, a fellow student understands the work/stress demands, the internal processes of defenses, comps, student/advisor relationships. I am not sure if it's about having 'more in common', as I would like to find a SO that I connect with on many levels outside of school/work, but I think it would be easier with a student, and they can understand the sacrifices and commitments that you have to make during this process.
  24. Upvote
    Linelei got a reaction from Ely in Significant Others and Grad School   
    That is rough, Ely! Sorry to hear you are going through that. I completely agree with you, though, on the timing. If a relationship is faltering, it's probably much better to end BEFORE moving and starting a rigorous PhD program. Here's to fresh starts!
  25. Upvote
    Linelei reacted to VAN144 in How to prepare for PhD with little background   
    The advice I was always given (as a non-psych major) is that it is far more important to get research experience than to take more classes. Obviously, the more classes you're able to take, the better, but just thought I'd throw that out there in case they start to become a significant drain on your time/funds or you find yourself having to choose between another couple classes and a job as an RA.
     
    Surprisingly, I was also told that I didn't need to take the psych GRE (and so I didn't). I agree it sounds like a good thing to do though-- just, again, if you find yourself having to choose between studying for the psych GRE (which could take a LONG TIME it seems to me), and getting more research experience/studying harder for the general GRE, you might want to consider opting for the latter.
     
    If all these things sound counter-intuitive just know that it worked for me! Everyone's situation is different though. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss in more detail.
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