TakeMyCoffeeBlack

That you give any weight to  their professional reputation as if it were a thing of actual value is really quite telling.

So, I'm not exactly sure that I want to comment on this.  However, you seem to have a misinterpretation about how women at the top of their field do not seem to have personal lives.  (Sorry, I didn't read every page but the idea I'm getting is that you need your "perfect life" early.)  
 
Have you come into contact with clinical social workers and clinical psychiatrists?  I come into contact with either professions on a pretty steady basis.  In fact, I've become friends with a few.  You see, we work in immigration services.  Not only helping people with resettlement issues but also the mental stress that occurs with such a drastic life change.  Some bring their mental illnesses with them.    Anyways, these folks do their time at our place and then have their own practices.  I've mentioned this because I'd like you to have an understanding about the hours of work involved.  They've accomplished your future dream: a success practice.
 
Each one of these woman has the opposite viewpoint than you.  While you are in a rush to be married, have a long term relationship or children out of graduate school, these successful women are devoting their "early years" to their professional life.  In our girl chats, they don't expect to even consider marriage until 30 or mid 30s.  Why?  It takes time to build a practice and you need to devote yourself to building your reputation.  Once you have a reputation in your field and you are a mainstay, that is when these women feel it is the best time to get married or have a family.  Keep in mind, many "young love" relationships do not stand the test of time.  The person you are in your early 20s isn't necessarily the person you remain to be in your late 20s.  Would you want to be building your practice/reputation when you have so much personal drama going on behind the scenes?  If you want to help people, this isn't the best foundation.  
 
Also, I think there is a lot of confusion that you wouldn't have a "social life" while building your practice.  Again, personally speaking, the women I know DO have very active and vibrant social lives.  Then again, a social life at 22 is a lot different in comparison to someone that has graduated and professional responsibilities.  I mean, that is not the say there isn't the odd wild weekend.     And no, not all of them is involved in a long term relationship at the moment.  Sometimes, just dating without a mission can be fun.  Furthermore, the ones that are married or with their boyfriends met these great guys later on.  Definitely not at 22.  Think about this, Mr. Perfect Guy needs time to find himself and develop his career also.  
 
Perhaps, in the end, you'll find the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with at graduate school.  Perhaps, you'll find him in the future at professional engagements.  Focus on your education and you know what, life just happens.  It's always the women on a "man hunt" that never seem to get their prey.  (I think along the lines of the desperation posts.)  Just because the people around you are having children or married, it doesn't mean that is the right plan for you.  You're on the outside looking in; the grass is never greener on the other side.
 
This is coming from a married woman.  I met my husband when my car needed service and he just happened to be the mechanic working that day.  A die hard economist and a grease monkey.  Sometimes, you never know what happens.  I hope this comes across as a respectful reply and I hope that you see there is no "ticking clock" in life.  Take care.

Why not just rearrange (and get rid of some colloquialisms) like so:
 

Absolutely! You're NOT writing for the adcom, you're writing for the department as a whole!

I don't know anything about animation programs, but you might want to include some more specifics about the types of work you've already done and the type of technical training you hope to get from the graduate program. Also, name the university explicitly.

Why not just rearrange (and get rid of some colloquialisms) like so:
 

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

But I think if you've really got so much internal doubt, anxiety, etc. it won't go away by September, it's probably something you're going to deal with your whole life (there's nothing wrong with that). That you say "I'm hoping...my life won't suck as much" is nothing more than a reflection of this insecurity. I mean, what actually sucks about your life? You don't have to post it online, but think long and hard about it. Do you have a supportive or at least loving family? Do you have hobbies you enjoy? Do you have friends? Or are you really narrowing your happiness down only to a romantic relationship (which, by your own account, is itself a cause of extreme anxiety because any indication a guy may leave you leads you to panic attacks)? Life is multi-faceted and amazing, and you're going to miss out on it if you don't open yourself to it!

Absolutely! You're NOT writing for the adcom, you're writing for the department as a whole!

Absolutely! You're NOT writing for the adcom, you're writing for the department as a whole!

As long as you calculate it correctly - a lot of apps want our major GPA. 

I hear this. Still waiting on two letters, both professors with whom I'm very close. But they're both department chairs and it's the end of the semester... I don't know how many times I've answered when the deadlines are - but it's clear to me they're waiting until the first deadline to finally get around to it (this Friday).

Just reply to the post and state that this is your opinion. Are you asking for a "board-approved" language for saying that? I don't think we would like to have such a one-size-fit-all statement and I don't think it's necessary at all.
 
I also think that if you want to have a discussion of this issue, it should be done in a new post and not in replies to someone's individual SOP.

Seriously, I'm sorry, I would go through this if I have time (I don't) - but you gotta check your grammar.

Submitted my last application today. Very anticlimactic, but glad to be done with that step. Now the waiting begins... starting first week of February and stopping at the end of March. That's going to be quite a two-month period.

Maybe my gf's lack of desperation is why I wear suits to do things like grab a coffee or walk through the park?

Maybe my gf's lack of desperation is why I wear suits to do things like grab a coffee or walk through the park?

But I think if you've really got so much internal doubt, anxiety, etc. it won't go away by September, it's probably something you're going to deal with your whole life (there's nothing wrong with that). That you say "I'm hoping...my life won't suck as much" is nothing more than a reflection of this insecurity. I mean, what actually sucks about your life? You don't have to post it online, but think long and hard about it. Do you have a supportive or at least loving family? Do you have hobbies you enjoy? Do you have friends? Or are you really narrowing your happiness down only to a romantic relationship (which, by your own account, is itself a cause of extreme anxiety because any indication a guy may leave you leads you to panic attacks)? Life is multi-faceted and amazing, and you're going to miss out on it if you don't open yourself to it!

Maybe my gf's lack of desperation is why I wear suits to do things like grab a coffee or walk through the park?

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

I was too lazy to read all 8 pages of this. I cannot believe 8 pages on this exists...

I feel like a loser because all I think about is grad admissions, things I want to research, job prospects, research, research, research, etc. If a relationship happens it happens, I am not going to go hunting for a partner. I personally think you are more likely to find a husband if you chill out and relax. Stressing out/being anxious about this is not going to help you one bit (yet I don't follow my own advice when it comes to grad admissions...). Of course, I am perfectly content with becoming a crazy professor/dog lady, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. 

There is nothing wrong about wanting a husband, but I think you would do yourself and your future partner a favor by relaxing. You are not going to attract anyone by being desperate. By stressing about the future, you are missing out on the present. That is a terrible thing to do. 
Worse comes to worse, try online dating. 

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Howdy fellow gradcafers!

I'm sort of freaking out at the moment because UNC-Chapel Hill just sent me an email inviting me to their Visitation Day in February. Has anyone else heard from them or other schools, or is this just in their Quantitative Psych program?

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

But I think if you've really got so much internal doubt, anxiety, etc. it won't go away by September, it's probably something you're going to deal with your whole life (there's nothing wrong with that). That you say "I'm hoping...my life won't suck as much" is nothing more than a reflection of this insecurity. I mean, what actually sucks about your life? You don't have to post it online, but think long and hard about it. Do you have a supportive or at least loving family? Do you have hobbies you enjoy? Do you have friends? Or are you really narrowing your happiness down only to a romantic relationship (which, by your own account, is itself a cause of extreme anxiety because any indication a guy may leave you leads you to panic attacks)? Life is multi-faceted and amazing, and you're going to miss out on it if you don't open yourself to it!