TakeMyCoffeeBlack

Yay, two months of obsessive everyday visits to the grad cafe! (I'm getting there too)

I have made some improvements (I know it totally doesn't seem like it).  There are some many factors that add to my need to not be alone, when I get a guy I mean I hang on desperately because them leaving is the worst thing that could happen. When I was with my ex and he suggested a break I literally freaked out I mean crying and panicking.  After we did end I had an actual panic attack, I just can't handle rejection from guys (I can handle rejection from schools and everyone else).  The measuring stick thing, I agree and my life would be much much better if I could just care about what other people are doing but it isn't that easy.  It is hard to not be bitter or jealous or whatever. 

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

False. A lot of people who posted (myself included) were NOT in "a relationship at 23." People have given you PLENTY of great advice on this thread (and the other one that you've been posting in), and you keep finding excuses to disregard it because bottom line is, PEOPLE ARE NOT TELLING YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.
 
I'm just going to be blunt, because sugarcoating obviously isn't working. You're very, VERY naive. You're naive about grad school, about relationships, about friends, about marriage, about children, and about the job market. You're also incredibly judgmental of anyone who would not make the same decisions as you. The comments you wrote about your aunt, who seems to be living a great life on her own terms, are despicable. You have NO reason to feel sorry for her... she is a grown up who is living the life SHE wants to live. She is accomplished. You are not. She is happy. You are not. She has different priorities, as do many other people. That doesn't make her deserving of pity... in fact, she deserves your admiration and respect, neither of which she appears to have. What a shame.   Contrary to what you keep claiming, people CAN and DO find happiness after the age of 30. Also, marrying BEFORE 30 does not guarantee happiness. In fact, marriage doesn't guarantee happiness, period. I thought I married a good guy at 28. I was wrong. I had to get divorced at 33. No kids. By your standards, I should have just jumped off a bridge. Instead, I rebuilt my life. I met someone new, remarried, quit my job and started grad school. IN MY 30s. WITH GRAYING HAIR. I wasn't quite ready to go sit on the rocking hair to which your sexist and ageist standard would have confined me. My parents got divorced just a few years ago. You think my mom is sitting at home knitting baby socks? No. She is living her life, and is HAPPY.  
You want people on here to tell you that within the next year you will meet a great guy through people in finishing school grad school, you'll plan your wedding, and when you graduate you will settle down to play housewife for the next couple of decades with this great guy who will be paying all your bills, at which point you will be available to work as a way to ease your empty nest syndrome with skills and knowledge that you picked up a generation before. 
 
You've also said you expect that your friends/roommates/classmates will play the role of potential matchmakers and set you up with great guys who are marriage material. Do you even care about these people as anything other than tools to get what you REALLY want? You say you don't even like to talk to people who are married because "all they talk about is their relationships." You don't want advice from people who are married, or in relationships... even though we are the ones who have been successful in getting what you claim to want.   You keep talking about how great it's going to be to "be an adult" once you start grad school. Guess what? You have been an adult for almost 5 years, and yet you still think like a teenager. That's not going to change simply because you start a graduate program or move to a new town. Being an adult means, among other things, being responsible for crafting your own happiness, being independent and self-sufficient.  It means not relying on others to make you happy. It means learning to be comfortable with yourself.    I asked you a while back about your priorities and you said it was school. I still see no evidence of that. You want to get married, you want kids, and you want to be with a guy who is wealthy enough to be able to support you while you stay at home. You're not likely to find that in graduate school, I'm afraid. That's simply not what it's for. Guys who are in grad school at the same time as you are going to be starting their careers, and you are very likely to have to work for a while, at least. In fact, the "traditional" marriage you speak of has become very, vary rare... most couples simply cannot afford to have only one working parent.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Ha, I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing. I needed to get them off my hands or I'd keep fiddling. But now I'm powerless for the next two months or more.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Okay, I guess I'm compelled to up my contribution to $0.03...
 
There is nothing wrong with wanting to start a family. Absolutely nothing. But I think you need to get a better idea about who you are independently. For all you know, you could meet and fall in love with the perfect future husband - but he may not be ready for marriage for years. That happens. It happened to my brother - he was dating a woman who was older than him and as each year passed she was getting more and more nervous (that internal baby clock, you know), and he didn't propose until they had been dating for five years. But, they're great together, and they will make a great husband and wife (and parents, when that time comes).
 
But see, even though she really really wanted to be a wife and mother, she was (is!) also a strong, independent woman with a lot going for her otherwise. That's what made her 1.) worth dating and 2.) worth getting engaged with. Her first goal was not to give up all her goals and her personality in order to find a man who could take care of her and pay off the loans she insisted she needed to take out for a degree she really would rather not need to use if only she could find a rich guy.
 
I think the problem here is that you're presenting us with a paradox: you really want to go to grad school and get into social work, but you're willing to give it all up for a man.
 
Hey look, I hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope it's amazing. 
 
The problem is, I think you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and really take the time to evaluate your priorities. The time between May and December is not very long, and I'm not surprised that after only seven interviews you don't have a job. That's the nature of the current market. On the other hand, it's not a bad thing that you're applying for grad school now - but you should continue looking for other opportunities in the mean time. Who knows, maybe you'll find a nice job where a lot of men work by this upcoming May and decide that you'd rather put off grad school for a while. If for you personally finding a husband is more important than beginning a grad program and career, then great! But that means you'll have to give yourself every opportunity to achieve that, and that means keeping an open mind right up until you start your grad program.
 
On the other hand, I'm going to reiterate: I would personally be much more attracted to a woman who is well on her way to establishing herself professionally, has a solid, logical head on her shoulders, and knows what she wants in life (other than just me!). In fact, I have that, and it's amazing. Three years strong and we're looking to move in together when I start (hopefully) my own grad program this year (she will be done with hers). But if she had given off the same vibes that you seem to, I'd have run the other way and missed out on an amazing relationship.

Your comments just remind me of a friend who use to say similar things when she was around your age.  Unfortunately, she had such low confidence and so desperately wanted a relationship, marriage, and children that she got involved with men who treated her extremely poorly.
 
It took it an extremely long time for her to break the pattern of choosing the wrong men and realizing that she did not deserve to be treated like that.  She's over 30 and not married, but she is a much happier person now because she took the time to work on her self-esteem, develop her independence, and figure out why she was settling for these men who didn't value her or her opinions.

Everything else aside, I truly hope that this is true for you, too. It's the only way you can be both a great mom and wife, and self-fulfilled individual. I've known too many amazing mother's and wives go into deep depressions - even try to take their own lives - because they never had the chance to discover who they were and to have their own successes in life. Again, you really should consider reading The Feminine Mystique. Just a first step on your journey of self-discovery.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Agreed. OP, if you're going to take only one piece of advice from the past seven pages of responses, I hope you'll heed this one. 

Okay, I guess I'm compelled to up my contribution to $0.03...
 
There is nothing wrong with wanting to start a family. Absolutely nothing. But I think you need to get a better idea about who you are independently. For all you know, you could meet and fall in love with the perfect future husband - but he may not be ready for marriage for years. That happens. It happened to my brother - he was dating a woman who was older than him and as each year passed she was getting more and more nervous (that internal baby clock, you know), and he didn't propose until they had been dating for five years. But, they're great together, and they will make a great husband and wife (and parents, when that time comes).
 
But see, even though she really really wanted to be a wife and mother, she was (is!) also a strong, independent woman with a lot going for her otherwise. That's what made her 1.) worth dating and 2.) worth getting engaged with. Her first goal was not to give up all her goals and her personality in order to find a man who could take care of her and pay off the loans she insisted she needed to take out for a degree she really would rather not need to use if only she could find a rich guy.
 
I think the problem here is that you're presenting us with a paradox: you really want to go to grad school and get into social work, but you're willing to give it all up for a man.
 
Hey look, I hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope it's amazing. 
 
The problem is, I think you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and really take the time to evaluate your priorities. The time between May and December is not very long, and I'm not surprised that after only seven interviews you don't have a job. That's the nature of the current market. On the other hand, it's not a bad thing that you're applying for grad school now - but you should continue looking for other opportunities in the mean time. Who knows, maybe you'll find a nice job where a lot of men work by this upcoming May and decide that you'd rather put off grad school for a while. If for you personally finding a husband is more important than beginning a grad program and career, then great! But that means you'll have to give yourself every opportunity to achieve that, and that means keeping an open mind right up until you start your grad program.
 
On the other hand, I'm going to reiterate: I would personally be much more attracted to a woman who is well on her way to establishing herself professionally, has a solid, logical head on her shoulders, and knows what she wants in life (other than just me!). In fact, I have that, and it's amazing. Three years strong and we're looking to move in together when I start (hopefully) my own grad program this year (she will be done with hers). But if she had given off the same vibes that you seem to, I'd have run the other way and missed out on an amazing relationship.

Just a couple things:
 
1.) I don't think you actually read what I wrote. I think you're stuck in this alternative universe and you refuse to take a look out the window.
 
2.) It's extremely offensive for you to project your view of what constitutes happiness onto others (like saying you don't know why your aunt is happy, and that it's sad to you that her successful career is in itself fulfilling). We all have different paths and goals in our lives. A past boss made a great point (in response to some people teasing a gay friend about not yet having found "the one" in his mid thirties): "Some people just see one path for happiness and fulfillment and feel bad for anyone who hasn't taken their path. But the fact is that not everyone may need or want the same things." He's right, and it's extremely rude and ignorant to do that. 
 
3.) First, you clearly DO have prospects for a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be open to one. Simple as that. Second, why do you have to meet someone in the next year or two in order to be married by 30? That's silly and rather immature, because chances are you're going to need to find someone with a similar vision for the future as you, and that probably means a short relationship and a short engagement. Who knows, maybe when you're 29 you'll meet someone, fall in love, get engaged and get married within those 365 days. It's possible - and the very fact that you believe otherwise is itself a limitation of the chances for success in potential future relationships. You are choosing only to see one possible way for this all to work out the way you want it to, and short of that you've failed and are going to live a long, miserable life alone. The problem is, that's not at all how reality works. 
 
You really need to start looking to empower yourself. I truly believe that the people best suited for relationships, are the people who are comfortable with themselves outside of a relationship. You ought to consider reading The Feminine Mystique, or at least reading the synopsis on Wikipedia... In some ways, I'm hopeful that graduate school and living in a new city will provide you the opportunity to open your eyes and not see so narrowly.

Okay, I guess I'm compelled to up my contribution to $0.03...
 
There is nothing wrong with wanting to start a family. Absolutely nothing. But I think you need to get a better idea about who you are independently. For all you know, you could meet and fall in love with the perfect future husband - but he may not be ready for marriage for years. That happens. It happened to my brother - he was dating a woman who was older than him and as each year passed she was getting more and more nervous (that internal baby clock, you know), and he didn't propose until they had been dating for five years. But, they're great together, and they will make a great husband and wife (and parents, when that time comes).
 
But see, even though she really really wanted to be a wife and mother, she was (is!) also a strong, independent woman with a lot going for her otherwise. That's what made her 1.) worth dating and 2.) worth getting engaged with. Her first goal was not to give up all her goals and her personality in order to find a man who could take care of her and pay off the loans she insisted she needed to take out for a degree she really would rather not need to use if only she could find a rich guy.
 
I think the problem here is that you're presenting us with a paradox: you really want to go to grad school and get into social work, but you're willing to give it all up for a man.
 
Hey look, I hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope it's amazing. 
 
The problem is, I think you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and really take the time to evaluate your priorities. The time between May and December is not very long, and I'm not surprised that after only seven interviews you don't have a job. That's the nature of the current market. On the other hand, it's not a bad thing that you're applying for grad school now - but you should continue looking for other opportunities in the mean time. Who knows, maybe you'll find a nice job where a lot of men work by this upcoming May and decide that you'd rather put off grad school for a while. If for you personally finding a husband is more important than beginning a grad program and career, then great! But that means you'll have to give yourself every opportunity to achieve that, and that means keeping an open mind right up until you start your grad program.
 
On the other hand, I'm going to reiterate: I would personally be much more attracted to a woman who is well on her way to establishing herself professionally, has a solid, logical head on her shoulders, and knows what she wants in life (other than just me!). In fact, I have that, and it's amazing. Three years strong and we're looking to move in together when I start (hopefully) my own grad program this year (she will be done with hers). But if she had given off the same vibes that you seem to, I'd have run the other way and missed out on an amazing relationship.

Okay, I guess I'm compelled to up my contribution to $0.03...
 
There is nothing wrong with wanting to start a family. Absolutely nothing. But I think you need to get a better idea about who you are independently. For all you know, you could meet and fall in love with the perfect future husband - but he may not be ready for marriage for years. That happens. It happened to my brother - he was dating a woman who was older than him and as each year passed she was getting more and more nervous (that internal baby clock, you know), and he didn't propose until they had been dating for five years. But, they're great together, and they will make a great husband and wife (and parents, when that time comes).
 
But see, even though she really really wanted to be a wife and mother, she was (is!) also a strong, independent woman with a lot going for her otherwise. That's what made her 1.) worth dating and 2.) worth getting engaged with. Her first goal was not to give up all her goals and her personality in order to find a man who could take care of her and pay off the loans she insisted she needed to take out for a degree she really would rather not need to use if only she could find a rich guy.
 
I think the problem here is that you're presenting us with a paradox: you really want to go to grad school and get into social work, but you're willing to give it all up for a man.
 
Hey look, I hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope it's amazing. 
 
The problem is, I think you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and really take the time to evaluate your priorities. The time between May and December is not very long, and I'm not surprised that after only seven interviews you don't have a job. That's the nature of the current market. On the other hand, it's not a bad thing that you're applying for grad school now - but you should continue looking for other opportunities in the mean time. Who knows, maybe you'll find a nice job where a lot of men work by this upcoming May and decide that you'd rather put off grad school for a while. If for you personally finding a husband is more important than beginning a grad program and career, then great! But that means you'll have to give yourself every opportunity to achieve that, and that means keeping an open mind right up until you start your grad program.
 
On the other hand, I'm going to reiterate: I would personally be much more attracted to a woman who is well on her way to establishing herself professionally, has a solid, logical head on her shoulders, and knows what she wants in life (other than just me!). In fact, I have that, and it's amazing. Three years strong and we're looking to move in together when I start (hopefully) my own grad program this year (she will be done with hers). But if she had given off the same vibes that you seem to, I'd have run the other way and missed out on an amazing relationship.

Umm....

I mean, you're turning 23, not 53... And even then you could fall in love and have a long, happy relationship. Just an honest two cents (meant well, I promise!): if this is the kind of vibe you give off when flirting or dating (i.e. obsessive), then it probably won't work, unless you end up in an emotionally abusive relationship (e.g. a dominating partner). On the other hand, you'll be 25 with a master's degree if you get into a program this year. An independent woman with the foundations for a solid career? Well, now we're getting somewhere. You just became like 100% more attractive to this guy.
 
And really just to emphasize: the idea that at 23 the dating pool "isn't getting bigger" is such bologna. The people who are getting married now at 23 have likely been dating their partner for a while - so that pool hasn't shrunk from that - or some reason popped its bald little head into their lives and forced their hands. 
 
I mean, your last sentence about the holidays sounds like something my 14 year old sister would say. Let's be real here - you're still very young.

I mean, you're turning 23, not 53... And even then you could fall in love and have a long, happy relationship. Just an honest two cents (meant well, I promise!): if this is the kind of vibe you give off when flirting or dating (i.e. obsessive), then it probably won't work, unless you end up in an emotionally abusive relationship (e.g. a dominating partner). On the other hand, you'll be 25 with a master's degree if you get into a program this year. An independent woman with the foundations for a solid career? Well, now we're getting somewhere. You just became like 100% more attractive to this guy.
 
And really just to emphasize: the idea that at 23 the dating pool "isn't getting bigger" is such bologna. The people who are getting married now at 23 have likely been dating their partner for a while - so that pool hasn't shrunk from that - or some reason popped its bald little head into their lives and forced their hands. 
 
I mean, your last sentence about the holidays sounds like something my 14 year old sister would say. Let's be real here - you're still very young.

I mean, you're turning 23, not 53... And even then you could fall in love and have a long, happy relationship. Just an honest two cents (meant well, I promise!): if this is the kind of vibe you give off when flirting or dating (i.e. obsessive), then it probably won't work, unless you end up in an emotionally abusive relationship (e.g. a dominating partner). On the other hand, you'll be 25 with a master's degree if you get into a program this year. An independent woman with the foundations for a solid career? Well, now we're getting somewhere. You just became like 100% more attractive to this guy.
 
And really just to emphasize: the idea that at 23 the dating pool "isn't getting bigger" is such bologna. The people who are getting married now at 23 have likely been dating their partner for a while - so that pool hasn't shrunk from that - or some reason popped its bald little head into their lives and forced their hands. 
 
I mean, your last sentence about the holidays sounds like something my 14 year old sister would say. Let's be real here - you're still very young.

I mean, you're turning 23, not 53... And even then you could fall in love and have a long, happy relationship. Just an honest two cents (meant well, I promise!): if this is the kind of vibe you give off when flirting or dating (i.e. obsessive), then it probably won't work, unless you end up in an emotionally abusive relationship (e.g. a dominating partner). On the other hand, you'll be 25 with a master's degree if you get into a program this year. An independent woman with the foundations for a solid career? Well, now we're getting somewhere. You just became like 100% more attractive to this guy.
 
And really just to emphasize: the idea that at 23 the dating pool "isn't getting bigger" is such bologna. The people who are getting married now at 23 have likely been dating their partner for a while - so that pool hasn't shrunk from that - or some reason popped its bald little head into their lives and forced their hands. 
 
I mean, your last sentence about the holidays sounds like something my 14 year old sister would say. Let's be real here - you're still very young.