Summit_Bid

I was in the exact same boat as you in 2006. I'm from LA and I chose NYU and have NO regrets. You are right that you will never have a chance to experience NYC the same way again. While it's always possible to just move there when you want later in life, now is the time. NYC will change you're life! I lived there for three years and came back here(Los Angeles)after my MA at NYU.I'm so glad I experienced both worlds. I never really liked NYC that much but it toughened me up. Now I've got connections on 2 coasts.

There will always be time to make connections at USC and UCLA without being a student. There are so many ways to make connections without being in school in LA since SOCAL is a mecca swarming with filmsters. Go to NYC for a little while and then come back. Both will always be around and no matter what you're age or what anyone says, you'll always have time to make connections in LA. Don't rush it. Don't be sooooo focused. Try new things. It will help you tog et a change of scenery. Don't leave a chance like this in the dust. Live life a little and grow strong as a filmmaker and theorist by branching out a little. Trust me on this.

Telling other LA film junkies I was in NYC makes them jealous, want to talk to me and gives me a colorful history, is an icebreaker and has just enhanced my life soooo much.

Go to NYC and then come back to awesome LA when you are done. You won't regret it.

We actually have had this discussion before on other threads but anyways, thanks for your intentions.

It's nice to hear some positive stories.

I agree with what you said entirely although it's not working like that at all for me. I've been rejected across the board for two and it looks like three years in a row at this point. I haven't been able to find fullfilling work at all. I was unemployed for a year and work a miserable job now. I think the economy is a major part of this. I'm hoping and I'm sure I will find a job that allows me to do something related to my interests. It's just that it takes a lot of time and affort to even find that-as much time and effort it takes to get into a grad school program. So what's one to do in the mean time until you even find that job or similar opportunity? The way things are for me at his point-no time for volunteering even-I'll just have to kind of ride out this thing with this job I have now until things change.

What you said is true. I don't think it's the end of the world or anything if you don't get into a program. One can Still have a fulfilling life but it's just as time consuming and agonizing to find that happiness--at least it has been for me, but that's just me.

An old Chinese legend says it's bad luck to write a name in red ink. They say that the person whose name is written in bad ink will soon encounter very grave misfortunes. I work for a Chinese company and write names in red ink all the time when no one is looking and nothing bad has happended. Don't sweat it.

I'm soooo glad you posted this. I'm in the exact same situation as you (although I'm in a different major-Cinema Studies). You and I are the exact same on pretty much every level. This is also my third year applying to schools (I did 15 apps this year) and I don't think I'm going to make it.

I don't know why. I suppose we never really will. I don't know anything about math but it seems like your stats are good so I don't know what's going on. I know for me a big problem I'm having is that my MA is not closely enough related to what I want a PhD in. I think that's a possible problem-that and my super stellar but not SUPER stellar stats. It is competitive out there and a lot of people are so desperate to get in that they lie on their apps. I worked a little in admissions so I know this is sometimes true.

My professors from where I did my MA and BA tell me if I can write a really good statement of purpose I might be able to "sel myself to them" or "persuade the adcoms" or whatever. It appears I'm not a writer.

I'm so sorry to hear your story. I know exactely what you are going through.

If I don't get in this year I will not apply again unless something REALLY changes my application. For example if for some odd reason I get something published, get a teaching position or something like that I'll apply again but for right now I think I really did everything I could do to make my app the best it can be so after three years I'm going to finally give it a break for a while. I'm not giving up on it entirely, just taking time off to try other things, broaden my perspective and see what I can change. I hate doing this. It's not what I want to do or planned. I'm ashamed of myself. I think I'm a failure but...I don't know. I think this is the way I guess.

I've said this before on other threads but if a PhD is what you want then continue to go for it. If you have the time, energy and resources to apply again then do so. I think it's wise to take a step back, and asses your situation and apply again later rather then right away but it's up to you.

Others on this board have said to me that I'm wasting me my time. Someone on another thread similar to this one said he knew someone who applied to schools for years and could never get in and after a few years realized he was spending so much time on trying for PhD that he missed out on having a family or real job etc. Don't end up like that. Don't hold off anything while you apply. Just keep going...on something. Continue with your school if you are still in school, try to find some jobs you like (easier said than done) and think of other ways you can still get to your goals without the Phd-it's possible actually. It really is. Maybe it's a small chance but it's possible. I've got stories to prove it.

Anyways, I understand also what you mean when you say you don't like anything else. I'm in the same boat. Many people don't believe or understand this but I get it. It makes total sense to me. Your life is going to go on...it has since the first year you applied. I'm realizing things take longer than expected. So maybe the timing is off.

Don't give up entirely just yet. It is the economy, it could be other people have more impressive qualifications than you--for now at least-you'll never know. It could be a lot of things.

If math is what you love, keep pursuing it. When you don't want to any more than don't. Throughout this whole process don't forget to live life.

Never under any circumstance take anything personally. I worked in admissions for a while and learned that admissions is so crazy and messed up. But again, don't take this as personal. I wish I could drill this into your head. Take time and explore for now. I know, easier said than done.

I can't express how much I just know something better is out there waiting for you and for now this thing is controlled by time.

I wish you knew how much I understand you and what you are thinking because I know many others don't.

An old Chinese legend says it's bad luck to write a name in red ink. They say that the person whose name is written in bad ink will soon encounter very grave misfortunes. I work for a Chinese company and write names in red ink all the time when no one is looking and nothing bad has happended. Don't sweat it.

An old Chinese legend says it's bad luck to write a name in red ink. They say that the person whose name is written in bad ink will soon encounter very grave misfortunes. I work for a Chinese company and write names in red ink all the time when no one is looking and nothing bad has happended. Don't sweat it.

An old Chinese legend says it's bad luck to write a name in red ink. They say that the person whose name is written in bad ink will soon encounter very grave misfortunes. I work for a Chinese company and write names in red ink all the time when no one is looking and nothing bad has happended. Don't sweat it.

An old Chinese legend says it's bad luck to write a name in red ink. They say that the person whose name is written in bad ink will soon encounter very grave misfortunes. I work for a Chinese company and write names in red ink all the time when no one is looking and nothing bad has happended. Don't sweat it.

It doesn't hurt to try. They are likely not going to tell you...but you never know.

Something else that occurs to me is to look into a Dropbox account (www.dropbox.com). It's basically online storage, but rather advanced (and 2Gb for free). It'll keep all your computers synced if you install the software, but I find it indispensable for grad work for two reasons: (1) It keeps versions of papers up to 30 days, which is great for going back to older revisions, and (2) you can access it from any internet-enabled computer. It basically eliminates the need for a flash drive and you can't lose it, etc. 2Gb might seems small, but there are ways to get it up to 5Gb for free pretty easily.

I know, maybe not what you were originally thinking, but I figured there's no harm in putting it out there.

I think you are doing the right thing. If later you really think you need the PhD then I'd suggest trying to find another research topic so you can get into more schools. Hopefully-I'm confident there is-something else that will excite you enough to want to research about. Maybe you just haven't found it yet.

The first time I ever applied to a PhD program I applied to only 2 schools. I had a really narrow research idea in my mind. No school really offered me a faculty match so I applied to the two closest--although it was a stretch. I didn't get in to either but in my year off I read lots of journals and started to develope a new interest so I applied more broadly the 2nd time around using this new interest and newfoundwide faculty match. Who knows, maybe what happened to me will happen to you. But I think you are right. Why waste your time, money and energy on it when you are not passionate about it. Do it when the time is right.

I'm curious, your topic sounds narrow so if not that many people are studying it, do you think you will still be able to make a living from it? Are you getting the PhD to teach or for something else?

I'm just asking because the first time I applied to schools, my research interests was something no one else cared enough about to also research. I have a research idea that is more broad now, it's actually popular--and I'm still as passionate about it as my first topic by the way--and I could make a living using what I research. Either way, not matter what I research, if I were to go into teaching--which is what would have happened no matter what I studied with whom or where--it would have all been the same in the end. I'm in humanities though, not sure if that makes a difference.

I agree with the above poster. I think we've all put a lot of heart, money, time and energy into our apps and in some ways anticipation is better than reaching the goal. I think after devoting so much of your life just on applying and getting in it makes sense that this time is over and you are transitioning. You'll be leaving a part of you behind (the hopeful, anxious waiting part) and although it's stressful to wait you are still leaving it behind and that's always sad. I think in a way it's kind like post-partum depression.

I do think it makes sense you are thinking about money. debt isn't fun. If the in-state schools is good and it's cheap then why bother going into debt at an equivalent school elsewhere for now.

I also don't think it hurts to ask what your ranking in funding is. I'm not sure if there is a ranking or they will tell you but it is an investment so I'd try to get as much info as possible.

You'll be happy soon enough. Have a fun ride and congrats.

I care. I know what it feels like to be rejected so when I find out I feel bad for them. If I get an acceptance--which I haven't yet--I know I'll feel even more bad that I got in and they didn't. That's not to say I wish I didn't get in of course. None of my friends are applying to programs but if they were I'd of course want them to get in-I have to admit that I'd then also really want to get an admit somewhere too! Most people "I know" are other forumites who are pretty much strangers so I get where your "don't care" attitude comes from.

I agree with the above poster that I'm glad PhD admissions are selective. In a way I wish everyone (well, almost anyone) could get a PhD if they wanted. I see why it's impossible (funding, lack of one on one advising etc.) so I respect the competitive process. I also know that if EVERYone who wanted one got in then yes, we'd have more research done, but it wouldn't all be quality. It makes the application process more stressful but and the same time fun and more rewarding when that acceptance letter does arrive.

I care. I know what it feels like to be rejected so when I find out I feel bad for them. If I get an acceptance--which I haven't yet--I know I'll feel even more bad that I got in and they didn't. That's not to say I wish I didn't get in of course. None of my friends are applying to programs but if they were I'd of course want them to get in-I have to admit that I'd then also really want to get an admit somewhere too! Most people "I know" are other forumites who are pretty much strangers so I get where your "don't care" attitude comes from.

I agree with the above poster that I'm glad PhD admissions are selective. In a way I wish everyone (well, almost anyone) could get a PhD if they wanted. I see why it's impossible (funding, lack of one on one advising etc.) so I respect the competitive process. I also know that if EVERYone who wanted one got in then yes, we'd have more research done, but it wouldn't all be quality. It makes the application process more stressful but and the same time fun and more rewarding when that acceptance letter does arrive.

I'm soooo glad you posted this. I'm in the exact same situation as you (although I'm in a different major-Cinema Studies). You and I are the exact same on pretty much every level. This is also my third year applying to schools (I did 15 apps this year) and I don't think I'm going to make it.

I don't know why. I suppose we never really will. I don't know anything about math but it seems like your stats are good so I don't know what's going on. I know for me a big problem I'm having is that my MA is not closely enough related to what I want a PhD in. I think that's a possible problem-that and my super stellar but not SUPER stellar stats. It is competitive out there and a lot of people are so desperate to get in that they lie on their apps. I worked a little in admissions so I know this is sometimes true.

My professors from where I did my MA and BA tell me if I can write a really good statement of purpose I might be able to "sel myself to them" or "persuade the adcoms" or whatever. It appears I'm not a writer.

I'm so sorry to hear your story. I know exactely what you are going through.

If I don't get in this year I will not apply again unless something REALLY changes my application. For example if for some odd reason I get something published, get a teaching position or something like that I'll apply again but for right now I think I really did everything I could do to make my app the best it can be so after three years I'm going to finally give it a break for a while. I'm not giving up on it entirely, just taking time off to try other things, broaden my perspective and see what I can change. I hate doing this. It's not what I want to do or planned. I'm ashamed of myself. I think I'm a failure but...I don't know. I think this is the way I guess.

I've said this before on other threads but if a PhD is what you want then continue to go for it. If you have the time, energy and resources to apply again then do so. I think it's wise to take a step back, and asses your situation and apply again later rather then right away but it's up to you.

Others on this board have said to me that I'm wasting me my time. Someone on another thread similar to this one said he knew someone who applied to schools for years and could never get in and after a few years realized he was spending so much time on trying for PhD that he missed out on having a family or real job etc. Don't end up like that. Don't hold off anything while you apply. Just keep going...on something. Continue with your school if you are still in school, try to find some jobs you like (easier said than done) and think of other ways you can still get to your goals without the Phd-it's possible actually. It really is. Maybe it's a small chance but it's possible. I've got stories to prove it.

Anyways, I understand also what you mean when you say you don't like anything else. I'm in the same boat. Many people don't believe or understand this but I get it. It makes total sense to me. Your life is going to go on...it has since the first year you applied. I'm realizing things take longer than expected. So maybe the timing is off.

Don't give up entirely just yet. It is the economy, it could be other people have more impressive qualifications than you--for now at least-you'll never know. It could be a lot of things.

If math is what you love, keep pursuing it. When you don't want to any more than don't. Throughout this whole process don't forget to live life.

Never under any circumstance take anything personally. I worked in admissions for a while and learned that admissions is so crazy and messed up. But again, don't take this as personal. I wish I could drill this into your head. Take time and explore for now. I know, easier said than done.

I can't express how much I just know something better is out there waiting for you and for now this thing is controlled by time.

I wish you knew how much I understand you and what you are thinking because I know many others don't.

I think you are doing the right thing. If later you really think you need the PhD then I'd suggest trying to find another research topic so you can get into more schools. Hopefully-I'm confident there is-something else that will excite you enough to want to research about. Maybe you just haven't found it yet.

The first time I ever applied to a PhD program I applied to only 2 schools. I had a really narrow research idea in my mind. No school really offered me a faculty match so I applied to the two closest--although it was a stretch. I didn't get in to either but in my year off I read lots of journals and started to develope a new interest so I applied more broadly the 2nd time around using this new interest and newfoundwide faculty match. Who knows, maybe what happened to me will happen to you. But I think you are right. Why waste your time, money and energy on it when you are not passionate about it. Do it when the time is right.

I'm curious, your topic sounds narrow so if not that many people are studying it, do you think you will still be able to make a living from it? Are you getting the PhD to teach or for something else?

I'm just asking because the first time I applied to schools, my research interests was something no one else cared enough about to also research. I have a research idea that is more broad now, it's actually popular--and I'm still as passionate about it as my first topic by the way--and I could make a living using what I research. Either way, not matter what I research, if I were to go into teaching--which is what would have happened no matter what I studied with whom or where--it would have all been the same in the end. I'm in humanities though, not sure if that makes a difference.

I don't think they do. They have too many applicants and other stuff to worry about so they wouldn't go through all that. I once heard an adcom say they they just want to know to see who their competition is. Schools compete with each other too. If everyone starts applying to Yale, Harvard is gonna start thinking, "What can we do to get everyone to apply here". Schools like to brag about how many people apply to their school so really this question is all about them--not the applicant.

I graduated with an MA from the #1 school in my field and was unemployed for a year so I temped. I got rejected from every internship, fellowship, teaching program, Peace Corps and all 15 PhD programs I applied to (for the 2nd year in a row). I had to move back with my parents. A year to the day after I graduated I finally got a temp to perm position doing something completly unrealted to my major. For the past two years I've been looking for jobs (applied to thousands) and applying to PhD programs (I applied to 15 this yea--my third year in a row-- and so far have 6 rejections). The job I have now is not enough for me to be on my own or even save--I break even each month. Basically life is hard. Everyone's situation is different though. I'm just warning you that it could be rough. Things will get better though. I think this economy is screwing things up for everyone. It will end and soon, things will get better you'll find your way and be stronger than ever after going through this.

Thanks to the original OP for the inspiring post. Good luck to all of you.

In regards to applying because of the recession...it's one of my reasons. Before the economy tanked I wanted to get a PhD but now it's more of a motivation than ever. I was unemployed for year after I graduated in '08 and am stuck with a near minimum wage job now (I've got a MA too!). Since 2008 I've been applying to jobs and this dumb receptionist thing I have now has been my only offer.

I want to go to grad school for all the right reasons but also, riding out the economy by living on a hefty stipend (all the schools I applied to give you tuition remissions and stipend)and not having to work at all (or work a little)would be sweet for 4 years! When I get out the economy will more than likely be better (Let's hope), I'll have a new set of academic and life skills and I'll also just be more mature. sure I'll be another new college grad but in my competitive field I feel like there is no use trying to even make an effort getting a job during this recession so not worrying about it and focusing on something else for a while will be nice.