Hey all! I just found out I was admitted to Harvard. I'm pretty excited but also freaking out about housing, especially since I have pets. What are my options?
My qualities as a wife: I am a whole person without him. I love him and I have trouble sleeping without him there (seriously, it's a pain), but I do not need him to be happy and fulfilled. I am also smart, funny, loyal, cute, cook and back, and have a great rack. I am also mean, sadistic, spiteful, and love to wallow in a good bout of schadenfreude. I don't do laundry and I have been known to throw all of the dishes out rather than wash them.
There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who cannot be whole by themselves. There's a difference between being lonely and being so desperate for a relationship that the other person has to be the source of a person's self-worth, sense of value, and reason for living. (Before you protest, Pinkseter/Corrupted Innocence, print off your statements on this thread and show them to your therapist.) Lonely people are not so desperate for a relationship that they'll do anything to be in one (your words, not mine); lonely people want a relationship, but they don't need one. Desperate people want a relationship and they really, really don't need one because a relationship based on emotional dependency is toxic.
My qualities as a mother: He made to legal adulthood in good health, no trouble with the law, with prospects for the future, and isn't (currently) a burden on society. He can balance his checkbook and find the DMV by himself. He also drives like a little old lady and can do his own laundry. He has no idea where the barber is, though. Can't win 'em all.
I popped that slime-coated ur-human out by myself. He was a bit early, but the placenta was tres cool looking. It was like a purplish, deflated basketball with veins. I could totally see the horror movie thing going on, just give it eyes and teeth. Vagina Dentata for realsies!
But. He wasn't mine, completely and totally mine. He was his own person. Sure, I taught him that there's no such thing as bad sci-fi, but he won't watch Star Trek TOS; he prefers Godzilla (good gravy, where did I go wrong?!) and he doesn't know who Surak is. I kid you not. He's got my eyes, my intelligence, and my ADHD, but he did not find Fight Club amusing and he hates math (yeah, I'd think he was switched at birth, too, but he was the only boy on the ward). I love him dearly and he loves me dearly, but he's still not mine. He's living in another state, now, and it hurts, but it's right for him.
Kids grow up. Husbands have their own lives to lead, their own work, their own friends, and their hobbies. What do desperate people do when their spouse wants to go watch the game with friends (try to tag along or, worse, provide a curfew)?
Pinkster/Corrupted Innocence (this new name is very Twilight Fan Girl), you might have great qualities that make you great (as Loric put it) husband-bait. But you have one singular quality that makes you husband-bane: desperation. You've consistently shown desperation and you've said you're desperate. Not using hyperbole to talk about being lonely and looking to change that situation, but actually desperate. If anything, your use of the word desperate is an understatement.
You are not speaking of your future man in terms of a real relationship. You're speaking of your future man in terms of an Edward and Bella and Jacob relationship. Which you probably think is romantic and wonderful and cried at the end. Edward and Bella have a horrific relationship of manipulation, co-dependency, and a mutual inability to be healthy. Jacob is even worse. Men are not stupid people and the kind of man you want for a husband (a good man who is caring, loving, and will provide for the family) is the kind of man that runs screaming, the other way, when a desperate woman starts making cow eyes at him.
Seriously. Print off this thread and your other I-want-a-relationship threads and take it to your therapist. Or send him/her a link.
My thought: finish your masters. I went to law school and have been practicing law a few years. The job market is very tough in most states. Your masters is an advantage over your competition I wouldn't give up when you're so close. Besides, you never know how you may feel after you've gone through law school. I never pictured myself in academia, but now I'm applying to grad school because the law is eating my soul. A masters might give you career flexibility you might find helpful later if you end up feeling like me.
Agreed with the personal blogs on personal websites. Although, In my opinion, blogs are an outdated forms of communication. In the days of Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, texting, Skype and Facetime, Facebook and email, who bothers creating a blog? I'd prefer to do a vlog(video log) if anything.
That way they can hire me based on my charm an good looks rather than my CV.
moyru got a reaction from elanorci in Boston & Cambridge, MA
moyru got a reaction from OCD or Perfection? in HGSE Fall 2014
moyru got a reaction from Queen of Kale in Anybody Stitch Fix?
moyru reacted to danieleWrites in Finding a husband in graduate school.
moyru got a reaction from ironmaiden in When are References notified by the application system?
moyru got a reaction from keyvan in SOP for Harvard Graduate School of Education - Technology, Innovation, and Education program