coyabean
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Posts posted by coyabean
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The above poster is correct. There may be a few questions specific to your statement or something outstanding on your application but it is mostly about why sociology and why Emory.
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What normally happens is your application file is initiated by receiving an app and payment. What can happen is that you send your transcripts before that file is created. Most schools try to keep track of these floating docs until an app comes in but, as you can imagine, that gets tricky. I would suggest requesting transcripts the day you hit payment or send on the app.
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Talk about hitting the wall over and over again.
I failed my first test in both of my classes. People are already finding funded projects and I just had my first meeting with a faculty member with no money. And let's not even get into the social issues. My paranoia has kicked in full force and I'm convinced no one likes me, and everything that people do or don't do solidifies it in my head, but I can't say anything because that'd be childish. This was supposed to be a great new adventure, and now I just feel like I've made the worst mistake ever. The only thing keeping me here is the fact that I've never given up on anything before.
Oh, noes, Robin!! It pains me so to see the folks I went through the cycle with on the boards being beaten down by the system. It hurts worse to be one of them.
I hate these people.
Well, ok, I don't hate them. I love my colleagues for the most part but the professors could kick rocks. My advisor was - surprise! - fired the week I started. Oh, they knew but did they tell me? Nope. That means no advisor, no mentorship, no political cover, no support with reading lists, figuring things out, nothing.
No one else gives two shits of a care about my research. This prof was the only one. So, I talk about my idea to people who look at me like I'm an alien. I am busting my ass emailing, calling, and attending functions in hopes of connecting with someone who will be interested in at least TALKING to me.
So, see, I understand. I just know that people as focused and excited and grounded as we were before this should be able to make this work some kind of way. They cannot be bigger and better than we are. They can't be. I refuse to believe it.
I seriously doubt people hate you. Reach out more, find a few friends in any department, from any school, not even in school -- just find some people. I met some women the first week at a hyphenated american interest group on campus and were it not for them I think I would have packed up my shit and slept on a greyhound weeks ago.
We can do this.
- Zouzax and psycholinguist
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As far as the harassment goes, I'm so sorry that's happened to you in grad school. And it's absolutely not acceptable that your advisor has not taken you seriously. I mean, it's happened to you, it's not just a "concern," it's a legal issue.
I second a lot of the suggestions here already: document, document, document. Also, do consider recording an instance, especially if your higher-ups are trying to ignore it. If you have evidence and present it to the DGS, they should absolutely do something for you. If they don't, write an article about it in your newspaper. Make sure everyone knows that these bastards aren't doing anything to help you.
And the next time they harrass you, don't be afraid to fight back. Tell them they are the slime balls they are, and that you wont' tolerate their treatment (it isn't your fault or responsibility, but sometimes taking a firm stand and saying something to the persons face will make them back off, or just make you feel better!)
My sympathies, they're fucking assholes. I hope this gets resolved for you!
I ditto this.
And never forget that punks who use sex as power in this way are your basic schoolyard bullies. If it is at all in your ability to do so, embarrass the hell out of them. The next time one of them says something tell him to whip out a ruler because you have size guidelines and he looks questionable. I mean just say something impeccably ruthless as casually as you please and walk off. Write down a grab bag of one liners before hand to keep in your pocket, metaphorically speaking.
In addition to documenting and refusing to be cowed do not be afraid to be the greasy wheel. I despise that role, too, but I'm learning that there are times when, if people refuse to respect you, then having them fear you works just the same.
I am so sorry this is happening. People are stupid, stupid, vapid, stupid vats of stupid. Does your campus have a womens' center? I'd make friends there or with any other allies across disciplines to help you cope.
- GK Chesterton and rising_star
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I don't know if grad school kills it but living in Atlanta surely does! As does attending a school with very, very few minorities and/or students in your age group.
ETA: As soon as I posted this I realized that I've just gotten home at around 2am from a b'day dinner at a swanky midtown jazz bar, a live music irish singalong and a night of debauchery with colleagues. So, dating might be slim but I am not hurting for socialization. You need it. A group of women I met at orientation and I have become great friends. A week or two can pass with no conversation and then one of us needs a break, sends an email and it's on! It's working out. It's a new kind of way to do relationships: we never, for instance, speak on the phone. But we all understand the day-to-day life we're leading and it isn't expected. So, it's good. And possible.
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I am in a PhD program and do not have an undergrad degree in education or a teaching license.
That is to say it is possible.
The threshold for you will be showing familiarity with the language and theory of the field. That will require some reading on your part. Depending on your sub-discipline (educational psychology, urban ed, administration, etc.) I would start by googling syllabi of university classes with that focus. Read, or at least skim and supplement with articles, the major works you see repeated. Mirror the lexicon in your SOP and address, directly, why you are making the switch. You don't want the adcomm to have any lingering questions about your motivations or preparedness. Identify theoretical frameworks you want to pursue further, tie it to your tutoring experience, and then have an unbiased party read your SOP. Whatever questions they have? Rework the statement to address them.
Good luck.
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Hey, truth is always the funniest stuff :-D I have yet to meet a graduate student that thought their coursework was particularly challenging.... Or a graduate adviser that thought it should be.
The head of our department regularly tells us that classes are overrated, and the sooner we get out of them into "real" graduate work, the better.... And it's the same thing I hear repeated over and over from others.
This is what I, too, am finding.
I joke only half-heartedly that I am in the remedial PhD program. I mean what is a statistic? Really? It's picked up a bit towards the end of the semester but I finally figured out that the whole point of classes is to justify paying me a stipend to be here. The professors don't seem to particularly care about rigor so I guess the adage that if you are doing too well in class then you're doing grad school wrong has some merit. When I get bored I go to the library and randomly start pulling books and articles in my subject area. I am becoming a professional lyceum attendee. I'll attend anything on any subject in any department. I'll attend twice and early if there's food. I have to seek out stimulating conversation by any means necessary.
I will say that it has been a bit disappointing to find that a doctoral program at a private elite school is nowhere near as...interesting as I'd hoped? But people are just people, I guess. And those of us who enjoy challenge of any kind are probably in the minority no matter the environment.
I learn more in the grad school office and department computer lab from advanced students than I do in class. But, again, changing my perspective has made it more enjoyable. I just do what I need to do to contribute to class and spend the majority of time trying to make connections between coursework and my research to keep the classes relevant.
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Thank you for this advice; I've done my best to move beyond what has been written on the website and to carefully read this professor's scholarship. I'm still grappling with matters of propriety, however. Is it insightful and not insultingly forthright to ask a potential advisor what he seeks in an advisee? Because, to me, this would have major implications for us both and could, again, save us each a lot of time. In lieu of the contact information of any of his graduate students (also not listed on the website), is it appropriate to get his take on the interaction between faculty and students and the cohort as a whole? These are things I am genuinely curious about and which weigh heavily on my decision to apply to a particular program, but I have been told that they are not always best directed at faculty, and it would be a shame if these sorts of genuine inquiries put me out of the running.
As far as confidence goes, I trust in my ability to conduct good scholarship, but I am positively terrified about this meeting tomorrow...I just have no idea what to expect and probably won't know until the conversation is underway.
Thanks again for all of your help!
Those are smart, insightful questions. It is not at all improper to inquire about his or her expectations. I did the same thing and I think everyone appreciated it. It shows you are savvy about what success in grad school requires. A strong advisor relationship is central to that success for most students.
People may have said your questions about department culture are not best directed at faculty because their perspective may not be compatible with the role you'll embody as a grad student, not that it is improper to ask. Faculty experiences of department culture can be so different from a grad students that it can be comical. It is still a good question. If nothing else you can get an idea of what kind of politics are played there that might get in the way, for example, of you building an effective committee. Asking to speak with graduate students, if available, is smart and acceptable (desirable, even). My program had grad students do almost all of our interview orientation for this very reason. Just be aware that no one is going to direct you to the bitter grad student. LOL You'll get department cheerleaders but even seeing their level of satisfaction is instructive. If they best they can find is the grad student who sued the department for discrimination? You know happy students are slim pickings.
None of your questions sound improper. Remember that an inquisitive applicant is still, even this market, a pretty hot (ok, luke warm?) commodity. You have some power...at least until you sign the offer letter.
Go with confidence. -
I was admitted to TC a couple years ago for the EdD. I attended an admitted students day and was told that TC does not offer full funding (i.e. tuition waiver and living stipend)for any of their programs (though maybe this only applies to EdD and MA students?). I was told that some students take administrative jobs with the university because those positions offer full tuition remission. Personally, I was offered a certain number of free tuition credits a year (I calculated the costs though and even with the tuition credits, TC was out of my price range due to the cost of living in NY). I got the impression that receiving tuition credits is common, but getting full funding is unlikely. You should call someone in the financial aid office and ask -- everyone I met at TC seemed very informative and helpful.
Several people in my dept also got into TC and our experiences reflect this assessment. The most you'll get is 75% tuition remission although I've heard of offers at 0, 25%, ad 50% intervals. Columbia is notoriously stingy with funding as is NW and University of Chicago. The expectation is that you should be smart enough to trade on their name for outside funding. Just keep in mind the cost of living in NYC.
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It depends upon your sub-discipline. Education is so broad and some areas have negative associations in academia. If you are far away from the "professional" track of teacher training then you can sell a research-intensive sub-discipline to Ford. Spencer is the biggie for our discipline. There isn't too much that is education-specific so, again, your sub-discipline matters greatly. If you're in ed psych look at psych funding, quantitative measurement look at data centers like IES, etc.
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Did it, strongly recommend it.
Like Medieval I took the approach of two professionals discussing a business matter with personal ramifications. So, they had some stake in it, too. Now, that may or may not be actually true but it put me in a good mental space for the conversation. Only the most sadistic academics like sweaty-palmed, terrified applicants. A little confidence can go a long way.
As can good questions. I think the quality of your questions -- do they go beyond basics found on the website? are they insightful? do you have a commend of the language of the discipline? -- can leave the biggest positive impression. So few people ask anything intelligent in these things...or, so I've been told. LOL
All of the people I talked with before applying made reference to that during the app cycle and even now people in my program talk about those conversations. So, it matters.
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If you are applying to a school and claim to want to work in subfield X or issue X, your other schools should also be good at X. If the other schools you list are not good at X and are instead known for other areas, it might suggest that you either a) haven't identified good schools for your interest, or b ) actually have interests beyond X that you are considering pursuing at other schools.
At least, that is how I would look at it if I was on an adcom. When I visited schools after being accepted, many of the faculty were very interested in where else I applied, had been accepted, and who I wanted to work with at other schools. I would imagine the adcom members are interested in similar questions and the list of other schools provides some insights.
This and it's also a statistical thing. Schools want to know if you applied to peer schools where they know something about funding/politics/yield, etc. All of it can matter during final decisions. If they are the most prestigious school on your list they may take another look at your app to figure out why. If they are the lowest and funds are tight and they think you stand a chance elsewhere it's not unheard of for adcomms to take an applicant more likely to say yes.
When in doubt leave it blank. During chats and interviews be vague. If pushed something about other schools prominent in your field but you prefer this school because they have XYZ should do it.
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This.
Make adcomms work hard for a reason to dismiss your app. Handing them a reason (not a low GPA/GRE which should be countered) to toss you that they maybe would not have come up with on their own is counterproductive.
Agreed. Only address your weaknesses if absolutely necessary. Even if you do have a weakness, I wouldn't put it in your SOP. I feel like that's something your letter writers should talk about.
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fuzzylogician is hitting this on all cylinders. I might also add paying close attention to the department's mission statement and/or ethos. For instance, if the spirit of the program has a strong social justice bent using language that reflects that in your SOP communicates fit. If there isn't a "who we are" statement on the web google the chair and faculty members on the school's main website. Often, speeches or internal communications/PR with faculty members provide some interesting insight into the department's focus or current direction. Tapping into that can make your app timely. It's the SOP version of mirroring body language.
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I am trying to spend additional time on campus so that I can feel like a student and actually get work done. My days feel very broken up and I am not finding big chunks of time to read.
Ditto. Without that sense of place I just end up twittering brilliance in 140 characters or less for hours at a time. :/
I can't seem to get two solid hours TOGETHER. And breaking up an article in 15 minute increments while I'm waiting to see the doctor, for example, isn't really processing the information for me.
So, while I "only" have a 3 hour seminar Mon, Tues, Wed and TA a 3 hour class on Thursdays I feel like I'm not doing anything but I'm tired from doing so much. I can't figure it out. Hopefully, it gets better with a little time. The problem is waking up in the morning BEFORE class doesn't work for me because being awake does not equate to cognitive function for me. I just cannot think at that time of day. But if I get out of class at 5 or 7 then going right into focused studying and reading is difficult. I need a mental break.
I need to go to class, run errands/chill, sleep and get up at, like, 2 am to read and write. Midnight to 3am is my sweet spot. But I don't know how that will work, either.
Ah well. I'll get it together. I have no choice.
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For grad school I am going to have to find a new study/work space. I don't think my apartment is going to be a good workspace for me as I am just too easily distracted there. Even though I live alone I find myself more apt to procrastinate when I am at home. I sit down to study and suddenly I just CANNOT focus unless I do the dishes. Even if I haven't done the dishes in a month at that moment it becomes imperative that the sink be clean. If not the dishes it's that the bathroom is dirty, or the bed isn't made, or the floor hasn't been swept.
Silence or soft buzz are both okay with me. A year living in Manhattan has definitely taught me to tune out surrounding conversation.
Natural light is a must! I like access to natural light and windows so that I can gaze out and not feel like I am locked in a cell.
That's me, too. I actually changed all the light bulbs last night. /eyeroll Me, the slacker, couldn't focus without energy saving lights all of a sudden.
There's a caribou open late near my house but so far the library is far and away the best spot. It's open 24 hours with coffee and there's a nook with leather club chairs, very Harry Potter meets Mad Men. I love it.
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For grad school I am going to have to find a new study/work space. I don't think my apartment is going to be a good workspace for me as I am just too easily distracted there. Even though I live alone I find myself more apt to procrastinate when I am at home. I sit down to study and suddenly I just CANNOT focus unless I do the dishes. Even if I haven't done the dishes in a month at that moment it becomes imperative that the sink be clean. If not the dishes it's that the bathroom is dirty, or the bed isn't made, or the floor hasn't been swept.
Silence or soft buzz are both okay with me. A year living in Manhattan has definitely taught me to tune out surrounding conversation.
Natural light is a must! I like access to natural light and windows so that I can gaze out and not feel like I am locked in a cell.
That's me, too. I actually changed all the light bulbs last night. /eyeroll Me, the slacker, couldn't focus without energy saving lights all of a sudden.
There's a caribou open late near my house but so far the library is far and away the best spot. It's open 24 hours with coffee and there's a nook with leather club chairs, very Harry Potter meets Mad Men. I love it.
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I have a question as someone that's been out of academia for a few years and looking to go to grad school. What would I put on my card for my affiliation - would I put my job title and current work place, or would I put something like 'independent researcher'?
I found out that our department will do the ordering for us through an official university printing partner. It seems ours has the university logo, name, contact info, department name and "doctoral student" as title.
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Coyabean, I did not mean to be negative in my post. My idea was to provide a point of view that had not been previously presented--that even if you have worked hard and have achieved your goal of graduate study, having come from a less-than-privileged background, it is not necessary to develop excessive pride to overcome the possible lack of confidence and/or inferiority complex that you might (or might not) have. What I suggested was attaining the confidence and getting rid of potential inferiority feelings without having excessive pride, because other people have worked just as hard. You may disagree with this message and be defensive about it, but I see how it can also be interpreted as a positive, rather than a negative, post.
The point of providing my story was to reinforce the point I made at first. Namely, having come from a low-income background, I do not feel I'm better than those who happened to have been born in wealthy families. I do not think it should be a criteria by which to judge people in graduate school. Now, you can decide if it is a destructive or a constructive idea.
I apologize for providing anecdotal stories instead of results of diligent data collection. I'll go do that and report back to you. Would you like me to write a paper for you?
I'm not gonna answer every single thing you said. I'm not sure why you went through all of that effort, but I think your post was certainly more of a personal attack than mine. In fact, I think your attack on my post was way more douchebagy than my post. And your suggestion about censoring me...well, I think there are reasons for you to consider being embarrassed about it.
In any case, you may continue in the whining mode as much as you want, I just reminded of the possibility of looking at at it a different way.
You said:
-this thread seems like a collection of cheesy college application essays. You're already in grad school. Do you still need pads on the back? Here, good job, good job.You thought that could be interpreted as positive? You called the comments "cheesy". "Pads on the back" was intended to infantilize your audience. The "good job, good job" goes further in condescending to those who have posted.
You did not mean to be positive thus your negative language and continued use of hyperbole and condescension. You simply did not expect anyone to respond to you. Now you've decided to recast your initial aim but words do not lie.
Carry on. I just want everyone to feel comfortable posting their stories without attacks on their intent, worth or right to do so.
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OK, someone has to say this--this thread seems like a collection of cheesy college application essays. You're already in grad school. Do you still need pads on the back? Here, good job, good job.
Actually no one had to say it. You just wanted to say it. Good job, good job.
You know you did good work and made good choices. Other people know you did good work. But so did virtually everyone else who got into good grad schools. No one is going to look down on you for coming from low-income families or for being first generation students, and if they will--they're just a bunch of jerks.
Actually, every one here and millions of other people have experiences that are the exact opposite of what you say will never happen. Indeed, you allow that your never scenario can, indeed, happen with your second clause describing the people who will do it as jerks. Either/or, homie.
I grew up in Eastern Europe and came to the U.S. at 19. My parents' combined income at home was less than $1000 a month, for a family of five, which wasn't much more when adjusted for PPP. Yes, I went to a college well below in USNEWS rankings than others I was accepted to, based on financial aid. Yes, I had to work crappy jobs in college. Yes, I studied while some other people went to Bahamas for spring break. Yes, I worked hard academically and missed some fun. But so did numerous other people from way wealthier families. In America, parents' income does not equal kids' income. A lot of my upper-middle class friends had to serve tables, work at supermarkets or for maintenance to pay their college bills, but they never asked for a pad on the back. I am well aware of the outcomes of my graduating class, and it's those that were motivated and worked hard that succeeded, regardless of parents' education or income. In terms of grad school applications, parents rarely ever know enough to be more helpful than, say, thegradcafe.
You then make the odd decision to do what you accuse all of the other posters of doing: telling your own hard knock story of woes. So, no one else is entitled to their histories but you are entitled to offer yours as evidence of the irrelevancy of others'? Interesting choice. Perhaps they do that in Eastern Europe. I knew they did it in Texas and Alaska. Nice to know it is not a domestic issue, this convoluted egocentric circular approach to logic.
In my graduate program, the vast majority worked very hard to get here, and still work hard. Grad life is not a lifestyle of luxury for virtually anyone. Things valued in grad school are intelligence, motivation, hard work and humor, not family background.
You'll also want to take note that one's personal experience is widely considered a very poor substitute for data and analysis. While it is interesting that you know hard-working children of wealthy people that fact in no way negates any experiences had by others. It is useful only in determining your own experience, and the human mind's ability to reconstruct memory and experience actually calls into question how useful it is at even doing that.
So, I suppose it was worth answering someone who was unsure about the social environment and attitudes in grad school, but 5 pages of rubbing each other's egos for "overcoming the odds?" I thought it would end on page 2, at most. You've made it, congratulations! Now get over the "disadvantages you had to overcome" and get down to work to continue to succeed.
I have never rubbed another's ego a day in my life! And never would I. Just the idea of physically touching something so, so, well, intangible is both abhorrent and impossible in my construction of reality.
Also, any acceptable limits on the number of allowable posts about any subject suggests some serious issues of delusions of grandeur on your part. There are no such acceptable limits. Why two pages of sharing is allowable but not five is also so arbitrary as to make a joke of the numerical system even being employed.
What this post was and what it will continue to be if only by own decree is a safe space where people who have had challenges in acclimating to academia can share those experiences. As sharing those experiences has been beneficial to readers, I have good reason to believe that it will continue to be beneficial. That depends largely, however, upon ad hominem attacks on the character, motivations and autonomy of the posters being challenged and kept to a minimum. Thus my response to the kind of post I would normally ignore.
This whole thing renews my interest in an anti-douchebag internet filter, though. Could someone in one of the CS threads maybe get to work on that?
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Ok, I'm starting to feel really blessed. We have functional office space. I mean, it's not my friend's incredibly awesome corner space in a new theater department building with room for an office and a sitting area and floor to ceiling windows but for grad students I think it's nice. We have around the clock access and after a $10 donation at the start of the year we can print to our heart's content. It's kind of decorated like a grad student apartment, sure -- lived in sofas -- but we don't share desks and it's clean and comfortable. HOWEVER, I do have my eye on that B-school building right across the walkway.
Judging just by their lobby and atrium? They've probably got leather massage chairs and dogs trained to bring you slippers. -
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Despite my poverty, my parents did not raise me to think I was less than others. They don't understand and cannot really support my educational goals, but they are very proud to have given life to me as I am proud to be their daughter. My parents are the only people who can demand me to humble myself before them, but they never do it. They're Asian and they've never asked me to put aside my education for marriage. In fact, when people ask them why I'm still single, they say, "My child has Buddha in her heart, he's her only man." LoL
I feel blessed but also anxious because I've always depended on them for emotional support. But I'm one for going for what I want and desire and I have great faith that eventually everything will be OK in the end despite the struggles along the way.
How much do I love your parents?!! LOL
This thread has lingered with me, too. I have mentioned to non-cafers, even. What struck me is the cross section of ethnicity and identity of the commenters. I wish we could remember these similarities more in "real" life. :/
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I managed to find myself president of our department's graduate student association this year. As a resident social butterfly and general lover of all things outdoors, I tend to drag others into the wilderness kicking and screaming. It only takes a half an hour before they get over the technology withdrawal and begin to enjoy the fresh air.
I figured first thing out of the gate for the semester was my one shot to do things autonomously before we elect the rest of the executive council and the faculty get involved. So...kayaking it is! Before it gets too cold in November, my husband will help me plan an overnight backpacking/camping trip likely near Tallulah Gorge. The rest of our social events will be more urban (monthly happy hours and brown bag lunches in the building maybe a night bowling or a baseball game in the spring).Sounds like a blast. Shared adrenaline rushes breeds bonds.
And, uh, just a general question whose answer I wouldn't DREAM of exploiting: are you guys checking student IDs? -
If it helps make the concept seem less pretentious, think of it as a personal card and not part of a "professional identity."
Yes.
And I kept meaning to add that it may be more appropriate to think of them as name or calling cards. Also, may help some folks get over their visceral reactions to them.
Offer to visit Emory
in Sociology Forum
Posted
Yes. Sorry. :/