coyabean
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Posts posted by coyabean
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Every time I get a communication from my school I laugh hysterically at the thought of them taking me seriously. Like, manic laughter. Not sure what you'd call that? LOL
Oh God. That "LOL" was that laugh.
It could be my nervous reaction. I just cannot believe that I am expected to be some serious scholar in 90 days. I mean, in 90 days I'll be the same silly dork with a cowboy boot fetish that I am today. There's definitely some cognitive dissonance there.
But I'm excited! LOL
Oh God.
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Yay! Summer plans! I've been planning a cruise for a couple of months now with a few friends - Bahamas HERE I COME! I'm going to catch up on a few novels I've been meaning to read. Probably go out to California to see the family before I'm stuck having to say "nope, can't come, I'm in the lab." My two next biggest tasks are planning an EPIC going away bash and telling my boss where she can stick her crappy job.
Coyabean: I'll also be heading out to Ikea. I discovered that they've somehow managed to compile an entire living room set (book shelves, couch and tv stand included) for under $1000. My only issues are a. figuring out where to get the $ and b. how to transport!
WHAT?!!!
I am now headed to IKEA's website. I shall blame you for any damage that is done.
What I'm thinking on the how to get it transported and set-up is maybe renting a guy for, like, 3 hours? Just pick it all out online and pay for it. They have it all together at IKEA when you arrive. If I rent a guy with a truck, tools and some basic mechanic skills for a few hours I figure he could pick it up, deliver it, and set it up. Yes, this is what the world has come to. A passably attractive chick must rent a man. LOL Still a better deal than buying sometimes, though.
And are you in Charlotte for your program?
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I am sorry but this thread is such a hilarious example of "white people problems." Oh no, your boyfriend won't get his Ph.D. until two years after you! The horror!
My boyfriend has an associates degree and grew up in a trailer park. This has very little to do with how I view him as my partner. He is one of the smartest people I've ever known, he's just not great at structured learning. Amazing self teacher though. He's probably a better learner than me in a lot of ways even if I look better on paper.
One thing I've learned with time is that I care less about the status of my partner than how he treats me. If your priorities are different that's your decision, but don't punish your (apparently very loyal) boyfriend because of it. Either deal with it or leave him and find some bajillionare with 3 doctorates to date.
LOL!!!!!
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I will be doing some part time research work for play money. I'm thinking of Key West. I'd prefer the Bahamas but someone keeps slacking on getting her passport. :/ But I figure it's the same water! LOL
I say I'm going to do some foundational reading but it's more likely that I'll be reading trashy romance novels.
I have my first "revise and resubmit" so I'd like to get that done before school starts as it isn't inline with my doctoral focus.
Resting, planning my move and managing my excitement are also on the list.
I'm so excited I can barely contain myself when I'm not too exhausted from this last push of my last semester at a school I hate! -
Here's my male perspective.
I would personally resent being with a spouse who thinks I am a failure.
Yes.
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Ok, I'm not a guy so feel free to discount everything I say. It wouldn't be the first time. :/
With that said I am stumped by the idea of "keeping" someone. What, exactly, does that entail? As you have described it this wonderful boyfriend doesn't require keeping. And even if he did I am of the belief that a person can only keep themselves.
Also, it looks like you are borrowing trouble. Based solely on what you have said here the boyfriend is not resentful or feeling like the loser to your superstar. If he doesn't feel that way why worry about what might never happen?
And back to this "keeping" thing and your success. Would you want to keep someone while managing a successful career? The way I imagine it in practice keeping actually sounds like a job unto itself. I imagine you mean something like how do I not let my awesomeness dwarf my boyfriend's meager, by comparison, accomplishments, right? Well, you don't. You don't and you can't because what you accomplish is just that -- an accomplishment. It is not a judgment or a feeling or an indictment. How you interpret those accomplishments through your words and actions and how your boyfriend interprets your accomplishments makes an issue. And there's not much you can do to prevent someone from internalizing something short of not having that something. So, if you are prepared to accomplish less to prevent any hypothetical perception of failure your boyfriend might one day experience then be prepared to do that. But be aware that even doing that won't prevent him from feeling spiteful or jealous. Not to mention accomplishing less or pretending like your accomplishments don't exist sounds less like "keeping" him and more like keeping yourself, the only person, after all, over which any of us have any control.
- Dith Vader and Pamphilia
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This is discussed in "Getting What You Came For" so it must be a common enough occurrence to be a valid concern.
If your concern is investment from professors then I think you that can be researched and used to help you make your decision. Funding, however, is probably weighted towards PhDs in almost every program just due to the nature of that relationship so I'd maybe be less concerned about that. I definitely cosign the earlier suggestion email current master's students to get their take on it. Thanks to "Stumbling on Happiness" that is now my suggestion for everything in life. LOL
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The iPad seems extremely cool but also extremely unnecessary for me. I just upgraded to a computer that is under a decade old, and this thing is futuristic enough for me. I still haven't been able to get my head around things like the iPhone or iPod touch, so the iPad is going to take a while for me to accept as normal. It's a hilarious looking product, the kind of thing that in 10-15 years I bet we'll all be laughing at, as we type away on our computerized pieces of paper or invisible telepathic air computers or whatever the future holds in store. To me, it is kind of a rich person's plaything, or maybe the essential device of the up and coming generation. I grew up using computers whose general format has changed little since the first time I used one (aside from the switch from mouse to laptop finger-pad-thing). An integrated screen/keyboard that I touch with my fingertips or a pen just seems too fanciful and weird for me to use in everyday and practical situations. If it suits you more though, go with your gut then. Although I second people's advice to wait for the next generation to come out before buying one. One needs only to recollect the extremely quick evolution of the early iPod to realize how much better the upcoming models of the iPad may be.
I cannot pinpoint exactly why but your comment tickled me mightily. LOL
It has an air of possibility to it, your vision of the immediate future. It's cool now but it's also kind of clunky and it doesn't fit in a purse! And it's the technology we already have but in a different box. It's not this huge game-changer yet.
I'm with you -- give me the air writer thingy that downloads directly into my brain.
That's impressive and grad school worthy. -
Tried the iPad today and the first issue I had with it was the typing function. The alpha keyboard is the default and the most commonly used symbols require you to shift to the numeric keypad. That is a hassle for the most popular symbols of them all -- the @. It makes entering an email addy cumbersome. And are you thinking of taking notes on it with some kind of stylus or something? (oops! you already addressed that!) I was talking options with the mac genius and this did not come up. I still would think it cumbersome. Cool? Surely. Practical? I'm voting no on this for anything academic. It is quite obviously first and foremost a media/entertainment device. For cataloguing heavy text info, note-taking and document manipulation it is not functional.
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No problem.
A couple of things: You will need a car in Durham to best enjoy it and I made a comment in a post about Durham in the City Guide thread a couple weeks ago that has some places that I enjoy.
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disclaimer: I have professional ties to Duke's MPP program
Having said that, I think it would be insane to PAY for GW and the cost of living in DC when you have financial aid at one of the best ranked programs at one of the best ranked Universities in the country.
Whether rep matters depends on what you plan to do post-program. If you plan on doing government/think tank/policy work then it matters. Granted, in D.C. you can network in the power center of the country. I do not discount that. However, I don't think the difference in profile and alumni connections warrants the cost! You will still have peers and alumni at Duke working for all the big agencies plus financial aid.
I think the emphasis at this point is about how many people does that school have places in positions and organizations where you want to work. Ask the DGS for a list of recent grads and their placements. Go through the faculty list and see what kind of names they have on their CVs. Also, ask about your cohort -- that is very important -- to see if there are valuable resources there that will benefit your work and your career trajectory.
And don't feel so down on Durham. No, it's not D.C. and, trust me, I'll be happy to move on. However, your money goes rather far and there really is at least one of most things that you will need and want.
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I've been poking around academia.edu - it seems pretty helpful unless no one you know uses it.
Ditto.
I think it's just impersonal enough. LOL
To the OPs question I have been thinking about this, too. I'm very much an internet person so it's my preferred method of communicating. However, it is rife with potential landmines. I don't see putting anyone on my FB. I am...very much myself there. And all the filtering gives me headaches.
However, I do like to send along CFPs, grant, fellowship, conference information and the like. I currently keep an "academic" email list but I've been thinking that it would be great if that could be in one central location online.
I am thinking of doing a more public FB page but something about FB invites you to be reactionary and to overshare. I don't know if I could resist. Plus, if I have to choose an account to login to every time I can see myself just never logging in OR getting the purpose of each screwed up.
So, I don't know. I definitely cannot imagine a scenario where I'd ever add a student. I have a former prof who has become a true real life girlfriend: we gossip, we share secrets, I'm in her wedding, we know each other's families but we're still not hooked-up online.
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Backpack or messenger bag? For pete's sake, this is grad school, not high school! Who cares what I bring my stuff to school in, as long as it gets there? If all I have on hand is a paper bag, then that's what it'll be.
No one will notice or care, and if they do that's they're problem, not mine. Basically. LOL
And as long as no one who purports to care about me lets me become the Rolling Bag Student.
You all know them. LOL I had a TA last summer that had one and I use to give me hell over it. He took it in stride. Get it? STRIDE!!! HA!
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Hi Coyabean,
Have you heard anything on funding yet?
Yeah. Check the sig.
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My experience:
I applied to two programs but with one research project -- I think that is key. Both departments said that would be fine. At the end I got a call for an interview from one department and then an email from the other a few days later wanting another copy of my GREs. The first dept had done the same thing before extending the interview so I was pretty sure that was what it was for. The prof even alluded to that. Then nothing. After my interview with the first dept. the prof from the other basically told me that they decided I had a good shot of being accepted and, thus, figured it best to conserve tight resources by offering the spot to someone else. :/ I mean, it ended up just fine but a rejection is a rejection.
I chose that school so I'll end up working with all these people.
In a larger school perhaps it would be less of an issue? In my experience it was clear that the departments were either in communication or the graduate school notified them of the potential duplication of interest.
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I cannot imagine too many situations where no funding beats full funding. Partial funding? Mayyyybe. But no debt versus hella debt?!!! And aren't they in the same hemisphere? Can't you go to the free one and drive by the expensive one from time to time? Attend a conference? Use the bathrooms and steal some coffee like you go there?
Almost no one suggests paying for graduate school if you have the option.
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School A sent me an email, formal letter, connected me with a student, sent me packets of information, and have been in constant contact.
School B sent me an email.
I called School B to find out when I would be receiving any additional information, or at least a formal acceptance letter. They stated they "don't do that anymore". I feel like they don't care!
At least it helped me decide. School A, here I come!
I had something similar. One school's acceptance email seemed to beg me to reject the offer. They spent two lines on my acceptance and funding and three lines on how to turn down the offer. I obliged them.
The other school never told me I was off the waitlist and I got a random phone call from a potential advisor asking me when I planned on notifying them of my decision. :/
The school I chose sent my letter via mail and postal the same day and checked in periodically.
I'm of the opinion that if a school cannot do better when, theoretically, they are supposed to be courting you it does not bode well for when you are at their mercy and need assistance.
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Just found this link on a TM thread, and am finding it to be quite valuable -- not only the blog, but also the comments. Check it out:
http://orgtheory.wordpress.com/grad-skool-rulz/
I came to add the same link. I just found it last night! Serendipity.
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First, let me validate your concerns.
It can be easy for Americans to underestimate the importance of family and their expectations in other cultures. I am American but I'm also a minority and in my culture there are family expectations about gender roles and religion that aren't as easy to dismiss as "c'est la vie!" They are my family and that matters in a fundamental way to how I identify.
So, it matters.
HOWEVER, I think higher education is generally residential for a reason: the distance can be a huge benefit as you trying to develop an identity that is not dependent upon what you know.
So, embrace the anxiety -- it's standard with all change. Also, you cannot be the first person from your culture to experience this conundrum, right? Meet some other folks who have done what you hope to do. Read biographies, join a group or create your own ad hoc support group once you arrive at school. I imagine there will even be men in that group...they'll want to marry somebody one day, perhaps? You will have something pretty major in common!
Good luck to you. You are not alone; find a support group; have faith in yourself; your family will love you regardless and I hear the stock for smart woman is increasing.
ETA: There's a group for EVERYTHING! LOL http://www.iacphila.org/iachome.htm
- rising_star and Pamphilia
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I understand what you're saying, but I think this sort of misses the point. Of course your accomplishments matter - but not for the reasons you seem to imply. They matter inasmuch as they attest to what sort of scholar you are, what sort of writing you are capable of producing and what sort of ideas for projects you are capable of conceiving. But it's the writing itself that matters - if your writing "consistently won awards," shouldn't it be able to speak for itself? First and foremost, your writing sample and SoP have to impress them, independent of knowing anything else about you. Then, they can look at your C.V. and say, "oh, okay, this awesome piece of writing was not a fluke - she consistently produces this level of work." The awards and pubs are ornamentation, "icing," as lily calls it, perhaps derived from something substantial (the quality of the work itself) - but without concrete evidence of that substance, it seems pretty hollow. Icing without cake (blech)!
This is actually one aspect of the admissions process I like - the part where they look to the substance itself, the product, rather than things that could be evidence of substance (grades, scores, awards, etc.).
With publications, I can see how it's slightly different in some cases, because it speaks to some sort of professionalization. If it's important to your narrative, I think it would be fine to discuss what you learned from preparing an article for publication and it wouldn't necessarily look arrogant. But it just can't be all about the end game.
Jae B's suggestions are good because they re-focus it back to the substance and content itself, not the ornamentation.
I cannot cosign this comment enough. However, I regret you edited out the Cornel West reference.
Anyway, I'm a huge fan of showing. If you have to tell me you're a good writer? You're not. Same with awards and positions and publications.
As intextrovert stresses, it's about the story. If the award facilitated research that led to a deeper understanding of XYZ then it's relevant. If you just won an award I don't care. If you took a class with someone famous and a conversation in his office about such-and-such profoundly affected how you approach your research? That is fascinating! If you sat next to said famous person? Again, dumb luck.
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FYI: to many Duke students, low-income = sketchy and non-white = criminals. The town just has a large low-income and black population. People very sadly project and assume a lot because of that.
Yeah, thanks for that.
I currently attend school in Durham and I have never, ever seen a drug deal go down. And "sketchy" is so personal as to be meaningless. I think most people -- particularly at Duke (where I work, btw) -- consider my UG -- an HBCU -- to be that "sketchy" part of town. However, I have walked those streets during the all times of the day and night and I have never been a victim of a crime. Working class and brown is not sketchy, IMO. In fact, when the students at said HBCU want to score some "recreational greenery"? They go to UNC and Duke to get it. I would venture that there are more drug deals happening at Duke and UNC than the sketchiest parts of the city.
Sure, there's crime but it's better than my hometown of Charlotte which is almost twice the size of Durham.
It's an old city and the architecture and streets reflect that. And I am no city booster -- I prefer more walkable areas -- but I hate to see a city reduced to the most pejorative of terms.
I catch live blues at Papa Mojos several times a month. I also catch live pop/rock/hip hop at the Broad Street Cafe (never a cover!). Watts Grocery has the best shrimp and grits I've ever eaten. They are committed to locally sourced food and the incredible shrimp -- prawns, really -- taste like they were caught 20 minutes before they hit my plate. You would be hard-pressed to find a more lively indie music scene in a city of comparable size. Little Brother lives here (for my underground hip hop heads)!! I volunteer in one of those impoverished "sketchy" n'hoods and I am sensible: I lock my car doors and walk with a buddy after dark. You wouldn't also do those things in Boston?!
The city is what you make it. You won't be getting knocked over the head by rabid heroin users for your iPod and sneakers. Be sensible and in Durham you can actually have a life on your stipend. Not to mention it is hard to beat the opportunities that result from the synergy of having some of the country's best Universities in one area. I feel as if you pay for one education but get to partake of education from at least four. And our local economy has fared better than most.
Good luck in your decision, but it doesn't sound as if there is a "wrong" choice. It's all about what kind of environment you want.
ETA crime comparison:
CRIME Durham Boston United States
Violent Crime 7 7 3
Property Crime 7 7 3
Not bad for a city less than half the size of the other.
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Thought we should have a general thread (no offence Rollins people!)....I got an offer a little while ago in anthropology but it only just became official
I am massively excited about starting, really wishing away the months (I am also excited that I get to have a proper summer for once and get out of rainy England!). Was just wondering who else is going, what subjects, where people were thinking of living (Decatur looks good?) etc etc....
Congrats to everyone!
Thank you for this!
I, too, just accepted. Sooooooooooooo excited.
I did an application for the grad apts at Briarcliff just as a backup but it's hard to justify that $1000+ rent! If it was ALL utilities -- electric, cable, wifi, water -- like I have now then I'd do it. I like fixed costs. But if I factor in electric and cable then my living expenses could easily top 1200 BEFORE food, gas and entertainment. That scares me.
Sooooo, I'm thinking of going down in May to look for something cheaper? The online housing board on Emory's site doesn't have much listed for August yet but I don't want to be too late.
I'd like to be close to campus the first year until I get used to things. After that I may branch out a bit.
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UNL courted me hard and its super helpful newsletters always make me a bit sad that I did not apply. I've posted stuff from there before but today's is really a winner!
Here is a link to a downloadable spreadsheet to help you track and compare offers; for those fortunate enough to be comparing.
http://www.unl.edu/gradstudies/prospective/articles/201003.shtml
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On 3/20/2010 at 11:53 PM, lycsky said:
I have been admitted to UNC Charlotte now, and I want to know more about this city and also university.
Does anybody have experiences or comments about it? Thank you sincerely for your reply!
Charlotte is my home. I grew up in the University area. The school is not in the center of the city and public transportation is not great at connecting the University to the rest of the city. I strongly suggest a car. However, you can make it without one but it won't be convenient and you'll miss a lot of what the area can offer. Uptown (what we call the center city or downtown area) is really popping these days. You'll find lots of great food and entertainment there. The EpiCentre has become the center of the nightlife. It's a collection of bars, entertainment and restaurants. I suggest Whisky River on Saturday nights for laid back, hi energy kind of fun. For more grown-up fare try Therapy Cafe further down the way on Tryon Street. Actually you can start at Trade and Tryon -- the center of Uptown -- and fan your way out.
Closer to the University you can find some bars and such on Harris Blvd that cater to the local students.
Housing I'm not very familiar with on campus. I think I've heard there aren't many grad housing choices on campus. But you'll find tons of apartments around campus. Some are within walking distance like UNC Walkwhich is also all-inclusive. You'll want to search apartment guides for Harris/Hwy 29/Hwy 49. I wouldn't go past the 485 loop if you don't have a car. You should be able to get a very nice, close-in one bedroom for $650 if not less with leasing specials.
Things to do:
Catch the annual Greek Festival in August! Ahhhhh, I miss it.
Speed Street is held uptown in summer; it's race country, don't fight it.
The CIAA is a major basketball tourney held in March that brings lots to do
Southpark Mall for high end (window) shopping
The Plaza Midwood and the North Davidson or NoDa Arts District for more off beat, casual fun. If you like live music I highly recommend The Evening Muse
Um...get the pad thai at Mama Fu's for me!
Chapel Hill, NC
in City Guide
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Actually, UNC is one of the most diverse student bodies among schools of its tier. I have been told by some of my folks there who should know that the grad school has one the largest black and latino populations of any non-HBCU graduate school.
In my experience, I have never felt out of place on campus or within Carrboro. Granted, I'm not the kind of person who often feels out of place anywhere but, still, I've been out there socially and professionally and always feel comfortable. There is a sizable LGBTQ (did I get that right? I always mix up the T and Q! My gay husband would kill me.) that seems to be very active and vocal. I've attended drag shows, drag bingo and one interesting art installment involving strap-ons that would be at home in NY or San Fran.
Chapel Hill is just one of my favorite places. I love a diverse population, too, and I feel like it has that but in a very manageable size with the benefit of southern hospitality. It's a weird juxtaposition for sure -- southern gentility and raging black/queer/latino/punk/goth/whatever communities -- but somehow it works in Chapel Hill.
You'll find just about any kind of ethnic food you're into as well as a community of folks for every niche sub-population. I really cannot imagine a lifestyle or identification that would make you feel unwelcome in the area.