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coyabean

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  1. Like
    coyabean got a reaction from firefoxquantum in Charlotte, NC   
    Charlotte is my home. I grew up in the University area. The school is not in the center of the city and public transportation is not great at connecting the University to the rest of the city. I strongly suggest a car. However, you can make it without one but it won't be convenient and you'll miss a lot of what the area can offer. Uptown (what we call the center city or downtown area) is really popping these days. You'll find lots of great food and entertainment there. The EpiCentre has become the center of the nightlife. It's a collection of bars, entertainment and restaurants. I suggest Whisky River on Saturday nights for laid back, hi energy kind of fun. For more grown-up fare try Therapy Cafe further down the way on Tryon Street. Actually you can start at Trade and Tryon -- the center of Uptown -- and fan your way out.
    Closer to the University you can find some bars and such on Harris Blvd that cater to the local students.
    Housing I'm not very familiar with on campus. I think I've heard there aren't many grad housing choices on campus. But you'll find tons of apartments around campus. Some are within walking distance like UNC Walkwhich is also all-inclusive. You'll want to search apartment guides for Harris/Hwy 29/Hwy 49. I wouldn't go past the 485 loop if you don't have a car. You should be able to get a very nice, close-in one bedroom for $650 if not less with leasing specials.
    Things to do:
    Catch the annual Greek Festival in August! Ahhhhh, I miss it.
    Speed Street is held uptown in summer; it's race country, don't fight it.
    The CIAA is a major basketball tourney held in March that brings lots to do
    Southpark Mall for high end (window) shopping
    The Plaza Midwood and the North Davidson or NoDa Arts District for more off beat, casual fun. If you like live music I highly recommend The Evening Muse
    Um...get the pad thai at Mama Fu's for me!
  2. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from Katie6 in Backpack or Messenger Bag?   
    Basically. LOL

    And as long as no one who purports to care about me lets me become the Rolling Bag Student.

    You all know them. LOL I had a TA last summer that had one and I use to give me hell over it. He took it in stride. Get it? STRIDE!!! HA!
  3. Downvote
    coyabean got a reaction from 1too3for5 in does one's ethnicity/racial identity matter?   
    S/he wouldn't be the first or the last in the discipline. It's actually one of the things about the discipline of which I am NOT a fan. Not that anthro is any better but sociology strikes me as critical without being self-critical when it comes to issues of race or any of the -isms.




    Really? A common expression? I have, honestly, never heard of the "affirmative action card" so I wonder if I have missed a cultural or scholarly evolution?
  4. Downvote
    coyabean got a reaction from 1too3for5 in does one's ethnicity/racial identity matter?   
    What academy are you joining where discussing the strengths and weaknesses of disciplines and their respective methodologies will not happen? By all means, sign off. But discussing my issues with sociology AND anthropology is well within bounds of an intelligent conversation.
  5. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from Karoku_valentine in NYT Article Re: Sense of Entitlement to Good Grades   
    Not to get all nerdy up in here but I was just reading a book last night in the bookstore that has an interesting take on this conversation: http://www.nurtureshock.com/.

    The first chapter discusses how excessive positive reinforcement trains the child brain to expect immediate reward for all effort. Once the brain forms these receptors that process reward = effort it makes it difficult to change that later in life. The result is an adult with no concept of persistence -- that is using failure as a learning experience. I think we're seeing the first adult generation with brains wired for immediate reward. Why wouldn't they think they should get an A for trying? That's what they got at home. That's fine for self-esteem -- although the science also debates that, long term -- but it's not so good for ingenuity. Learning has a built-in failure component. it's that moment in your research where you have seemingly read everything in the world, can't figure out up from down and, if you're me, you drink while crying. But if you are accustomed to occasional failures you think this is a normal, or at least a familiar, process. You persevere and then one day you get your light bulb moment, or you just work like a pack mule and cobble something together reasonable. Either result never happens if your brain shuts down the first time an expected reward doesn't materialize.

    So, I've been thinking about what this means. I'm sure there are some workplace and productivity consequences. But, for the more immediate future I'm thinking this is my competition in grad school...and I'm feeling pretty good about my odds.
  6. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from poliorkein in Too Good to Admit?   
    I, too, am going to pass on responding to the OPs particular circumstance. However, my understanding is similar to soxpuppet. My mentors who are in the know say there is an element of "will this person accept" during the consideration phase. This is even more true as funding gets tighter. My most "in the know" mentor has said, explicitly, that he could tell that a candidate was really gunning for Harvard instead of his own top 10-but-not-harvard program so he didn't feel badly about passing the candidate over.

    I thought I was being very realistic about my application's chances when I chose schools across the spectrum. I bypassed most Ivies for a variety of reasons but one of them was me being realistic about my numbers. Yet, I got into the schools I considered reaches and got horrible offers or outright rejections from the lower tier schools on my list. I got the definite impression from one of those reach programs that admitted me that they thought they were in competition with Harvard and Columbia for my affections. LOL I think that was part of their decision process. It was very interesting, certainly.


  7. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from pianocognition in Finding (and Keeping) a Male Partner as a Successful Female Grad Student   
    One of my favorite english profs told me once that all of her 50+ years of living had taught her one piece of invaluable advice that she felt obligated to pass along to me: marry a plumber who loves poetry.
  8. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from poweredbycoldfusion in Please address both strengths and weaknesses...   
    This.

    Make adcomms work hard for a reason to dismiss your app. Handing them a reason (not a low GPA/GRE which should be countered) to toss you that they maybe would not have come up with on their own is counterproductive.


  9. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from soshiPHnerd in first generation students   
    This whole thing renews my interest in an anti-douchebag internet filter, though. Could someone in one of the CS threads maybe get to work on that?
  10. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from mop in Chapel Hill, NC   
    Choidy kind of hit it but I'm shocked that someone would be sick about coming to UNC out of fear of there being no research going on in comparison with the "northeast, etc."

    LOL

    That's funny.

    This is one of the most educated areas in the country; a great deal of those educated people have PhDs. Period. I doubt they're all working at Wal Mart. LOL
  11. Downvote
    coyabean got a reaction from PhDerp in NYT Article Re: Sense of Entitlement to Good Grades   
    Not to get all nerdy up in here but I was just reading a book last night in the bookstore that has an interesting take on this conversation: http://www.nurtureshock.com/.

    The first chapter discusses how excessive positive reinforcement trains the child brain to expect immediate reward for all effort. Once the brain forms these receptors that process reward = effort it makes it difficult to change that later in life. The result is an adult with no concept of persistence -- that is using failure as a learning experience. I think we're seeing the first adult generation with brains wired for immediate reward. Why wouldn't they think they should get an A for trying? That's what they got at home. That's fine for self-esteem -- although the science also debates that, long term -- but it's not so good for ingenuity. Learning has a built-in failure component. it's that moment in your research where you have seemingly read everything in the world, can't figure out up from down and, if you're me, you drink while crying. But if you are accustomed to occasional failures you think this is a normal, or at least a familiar, process. You persevere and then one day you get your light bulb moment, or you just work like a pack mule and cobble something together reasonable. Either result never happens if your brain shuts down the first time an expected reward doesn't materialize.

    So, I've been thinking about what this means. I'm sure there are some workplace and productivity consequences. But, for the more immediate future I'm thinking this is my competition in grad school...and I'm feeling pretty good about my odds.
  12. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from braaaaaiinnns in I got an interview....what about the peripheral activities   
    BE COMFORTABLE!!!

    On my interview the folks pulling at ties and shifting in heels and hose were pretty easy to spot. It will be a long day or two. Dress for the long haul. Depending on weather I'd dress for outside temps and inside temps; basically do layers. A button-up shirt with a shell and a jacket or cardigan? Throw a pashmina in your bag. Comfortable shoes cannot be stressed enough. I ended going on The Longest Campus Tour In History. Perhaps a stacked heel mary jane or loafer that works well with both skirts and pants? Look around your current department -- or most recent one -- and wear a half step better than them.

    And while I may get into all kinds of trouble for saying this let me caution about the academic prejudice against overtly attractive. I've noticed it. I've discussed it with profs. I've heard it talked about in back hallways at conferences. Nothing flashy. It's ripe with contradictions and -isms but some folks, especially old school types, associate flashy with un-scholarly.

    Other than that some things I found useful:

    -- Again, long day. Pack aspirin and shout wipes.
    -- If you do wear hose, put a back up pair in your day bag
    -- band aids in case you do not heed my advice on the shoes; you can always use them for chafed heels
    -- a nice scarf, pashmina or shawl can add some interest and its practical
    -- no need to do skirts unless that's your thing

    Above all else, choose comfort and go to everything you're invited to. There were folks at my interview who skipped the social stuff with grad students and such and I do not think it was a wise decision.

    Be present, relax, enjoy it for what it is. If you're lucky you will never, ever, ever again be a courted applicant. Enjoy.
  13. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from Purplescarves in first generation students   
    This whole thing renews my interest in an anti-douchebag internet filter, though. Could someone in one of the CS threads maybe get to work on that?
  14. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from mirandaw in first generation students   
    This whole thing renews my interest in an anti-douchebag internet filter, though. Could someone in one of the CS threads maybe get to work on that?
  15. Downvote
    coyabean got a reaction from dft309 in first generation students   
    This whole thing renews my interest in an anti-douchebag internet filter, though. Could someone in one of the CS threads maybe get to work on that?
  16. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from 123student in Do not make the same mistake I did   
    I debated responding to this post. It seems mostly to be a venting exercise, but the fact that it is phrased as a word of warning to other applicants encouraged me to weigh-in.

    First, I can relate. I despise my UG institution. In fact, I just had a one hour conversation with a friend about how much we both despise the place. It is unorganized, top-heavy, devoid of intellectual vigor or independent research. Even among its peers it is considered a quagmire of low expectations, bureaucracy and years of institutional neglect and outright criminal behavior from administrators.

    Having said that, I think you have conflated two issues that are not necessarily causal. Low-tier does not equate to an intellectually lax. There are schools -- and more importantly in grad education, there are departments -- that are ranked low or not ranked at all that are doing phenomenal work. They have invested faculty, resources and environments well-suited to certain types of learners. It would be short-sighted and reactionary to lump all schools below the T14 into the "incompetent" pile.

    I would encourage applicants to do their research before making such a huge decision. Call, email and read everything you can about the school and the program. Understand that good programs exist at not-so-great schools; adjust accordingly. Visit if you have to hawk your New Edition/Micheal Jackson/Bon Jovi vintage memorabilia for a Greyhound ticket and strap your kids to the luggage rack. You cannot replace the sensory perception gained during an in-person visit. Finally, money is not the end all at this level. $30k, in the grand scheme of things, when you are talking about this level of commitment should not unduly sway your decision.

    Finally, if you do none of the above or you do it all and still end up unhappy somewhere go talk to a counselor, find a faculty ally, someone who can give you a less emotional perspective. And whatever you do try not to advise others earlier in their process until you have some distance and more control of your emotions.
  17. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from put a bird on it in first generation students   
    You said:




    You thought that could be interpreted as positive? You called the comments "cheesy". "Pads on the back" was intended to infantilize your audience. The "good job, good job" goes further in condescending to those who have posted.

    You did not mean to be positive thus your negative language and continued use of hyperbole and condescension. You simply did not expect anyone to respond to you. Now you've decided to recast your initial aim but words do not lie.

    Carry on. I just want everyone to feel comfortable posting their stories without attacks on their intent, worth or right to do so.
  18. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from put a bird on it in first generation students   
    This whole thing renews my interest in an anti-douchebag internet filter, though. Could someone in one of the CS threads maybe get to work on that?
  19. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from cacao to cacao in first generation students   
    Ditto. It and a similarly funded Mellon program -- MURAP -- changed the entire trajectory of my life. I cannot credit it enough for clarifying my interests, proving I could do it, providing superstar references and getting me into a stellar program. My mentors and cohort are now among my dearest friends and having a supportive environment in which to explore ideas and culture has been invaluable.
  20. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from cacao to cacao in first generation students   
    For real! LOL

    I love all of the complaints of the impoverished graduate student life. I've worked -- I mean HARD work -- for that much, if not less. To make that to do something I would do for free? Is insane!

    I tell the students I currently mentor in the program I attended last year to remember the importance of contextualizing this kind of typical grousing. When people say things like "hard", "poor", etc. they should ask what they mean by that before internalizing that message. I wish I would think 75k a year is a slave wage. smh
  21. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from DeeLovely79 in first generation students   
    This whole thing renews my interest in an anti-douchebag internet filter, though. Could someone in one of the CS threads maybe get to work on that?
  22. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from zillie in first generation students   
    You said:




    You thought that could be interpreted as positive? You called the comments "cheesy". "Pads on the back" was intended to infantilize your audience. The "good job, good job" goes further in condescending to those who have posted.

    You did not mean to be positive thus your negative language and continued use of hyperbole and condescension. You simply did not expect anyone to respond to you. Now you've decided to recast your initial aim but words do not lie.

    Carry on. I just want everyone to feel comfortable posting their stories without attacks on their intent, worth or right to do so.
  23. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from halfpint in first generation students   
    You said:




    You thought that could be interpreted as positive? You called the comments "cheesy". "Pads on the back" was intended to infantilize your audience. The "good job, good job" goes further in condescending to those who have posted.

    You did not mean to be positive thus your negative language and continued use of hyperbole and condescension. You simply did not expect anyone to respond to you. Now you've decided to recast your initial aim but words do not lie.

    Carry on. I just want everyone to feel comfortable posting their stories without attacks on their intent, worth or right to do so.
  24. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from wreckofthehope in do adcomms read this forum/your Facebook/etc?   
    Unique name, interesting past.

    Before I applied anywhere I did a little online presence management. But you'll still find articles and books I've written over the years, pics of me doing the slam poetry thing, some really contentious letters to the editor. So, me being a politically active, verbose hell-raiser won't be a secret but I like to think they got that in my SOP anyways.
  25. Upvote
    coyabean got a reaction from anachronistic in first generation students   
    For real! LOL

    I love all of the complaints of the impoverished graduate student life. I've worked -- I mean HARD work -- for that much, if not less. To make that to do something I would do for free? Is insane!

    I tell the students I currently mentor in the program I attended last year to remember the importance of contextualizing this kind of typical grousing. When people say things like "hard", "poor", etc. they should ask what they mean by that before internalizing that message. I wish I would think 75k a year is a slave wage. smh
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