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FinallyAccepted

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  1. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to Psyhopeful in Fall 2019 Social Psychology Applicant Thread   
    Thanks for posting this! Congratulations on getting in, too!
  2. Like
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from Psyhopeful in Fall 2019 Social Psychology Applicant Thread   
    CU has sent out all invites for interview weekend, which is Feb 21 & 22. Sorry.  (I got rejected from CU multiple times before getting in, if it makes you feel any better...)
  3. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to fuzzylogician in Panic Attack before school start!!!!   
    The time right before you move is one of the hardest. Major changes are about to happen, but first you are forced to wait. The imagination can go wild. What you are describing sounds normal under the circumstances.
     
    My advice would be to make the most of these last few days when you're with family, make sure you have some nice recent memories. But when you're alone, spend the time planning for when you move. Read up on your city; there is a lot to know -- use google street view to learn about the neighborhood surrounding your university and your new apartment. If you don't have an apartment yet, read up on neighborhoods, browse some postings. If you'll be there in less than a week then now is not too early to begin looking. Familiarize yourself with the transportation system. Find out which cell company has the best reception in your area; read up on internet providers and see if you can already contact one (it can take obscenely long for a technician to come install your internet once you've signed up for the service). Read up on banks and local grocery stores. Find where the local thrift stores are, in case you need quick stuff to get you started in your new apartment. Look up furniture stores and large retail stores. Find out where the nearest mall is and how you get there. Find out who the mayor of your city is, when the last election was, what the state capital is, who is the governor. Start planning your life in your new city.
     
    Everyone has some kind of adjustment period and struggle when they first move, this is to be expected, too. The first semester may not be completely smooth sailing. However, your program clearly thinks you have what it takes to succeed, or they wouldn't have admitted you. Trust them!
     
    As part of your prep, if this helps you, read up on resources and requirements in your department and university. What are the first-year courses like? Are there other requirements? Will you be assigned an advisor immediately -- if so, read up on them. Who is the Director of Graduate Studies in your department? Who is the chair? What is the secretary's name and where is her office? Is there a student rep who might be there to help? Within your university, is there an orientation? Are there activities to help you make new friends? Are there support groups on campus? Where is medical and health services? (You might not need them, but the time to find out this information is not when you need it but long before, so you're not burdened even further when you're in need.) Is there a sports center? What courses does it offer -- is there anything you want to sign up for? 
     
    Gathering information and making plans helps you have some control over your life. The hard part is having to passively wait and only know what you'll be missing at home, but not about all the new opportunities that will become available once you move. Thinking and planning ahead will help you get excited about what you'll gain by moving and hopefully remind you why you chose to do this in the first place. Remember that what you are going through happens to everyone, to some degree, but it doesn't mean you won't be as successful as your school already thinks you are. Good luck! 
  4. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to Jay's Brain in Anxious Nervous Scared About Starting Grad School   
    Hey! Fellow incoming student here! I graduated from my undergraduate program in June 2014, and have not been in school since then (although I HAVE been working in an academic setting the entire time) so I completely see why you would be worried! 

    This month has been a bit jittery for me too. On one hand I'm excited about what's to come; on the other, the anticipation of starting something brand new and heading down a more specific path is pretty daunting. 
     
    I know that I'm not in the same particular situation as you are, balancing a new school term with personal issues, but just remember that everyone around you is, and will be, a great supportive system! Regardless of how things looks, you've made it into a program that you hand selected and it will be a great experience! The ups and downs will come, but in the end things will work out. Life has a way of going topsy-turvy before it settles for each of us. We just have to experience the roller coaster ride quite a few times first!
     
    Any current grad students or other incoming students with more sound wisdom and advice that want to chime in?
  5. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to mb712 in Starting to look at applications. How important is it to make initial contact with a PI before you apply   
    Some advice I was given was to make sure you phrase the research fit part of your email as your interests fitting into theirs, not their interests fitting into yours. It sounds trivial but you are essentially trying to prove why you're a good fit in their world, not how they're a good fit into your world.
  6. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from HookedOnSonnets in Maximum Age to Enter Graduate School   
    This is a really good suggestion and something to think about since rec letters are so important. Keep them updated, too. Let them know of anything interesting you find in your research so they feel they know you (present tense) rather than knew you (past tense).
     
    An aside: I'm 31 and starting my program this year, and the other new student entering our program is older than I am. So age doesn't have to be a negative factor. 
  7. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from lelick1234 in Maximum Age to Enter Graduate School   
    This is a really good suggestion and something to think about since rec letters are so important. Keep them updated, too. Let them know of anything interesting you find in your research so they feel they know you (present tense) rather than knew you (past tense).
     
    An aside: I'm 31 and starting my program this year, and the other new student entering our program is older than I am. So age doesn't have to be a negative factor. 
  8. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to fuzzylogician in Mini-crisis   
    Sounds like you've had a pretty bad year, I'm very sorry.  There is a lot to disentangle here, so this post will be long.
     
    The end of a relationship is never easy. Getting cheated on sucks and is unfair. I assume it happened not long after you moved/started your new job, based on your timeline, and I'm sure that didn't help either. Not having close friends around probably didn't help deal with the situation, and I would bet the pressure and anxiety that's associated with the job market made it even worse. This is all to say that it's understandable that you're feeling down, I think anyone would be. 
     
    You say the job market ate up a lot of your time and you did nothing other than teach for a while. I understand, it wasn't all that different for me this year. It was my second year on the job market and I have to say that last year's experience helped, but there was one semester this year where I taught and traveled to interviews and basically did nothing else. I don't think this is unusual, based on my friend's experiences too. That said, if your new colleagues only saw you sad, confused, extremely busy or gone a lot, and not really getting research done, they may have the wrong idea about who you are and what you are about. It sucks that they judge you and jump to conclusions, but that's their bad, not yours. I really don't think your actions were different than anyone else's in your situation would be, so either they are impatient, or inexperienced, or not a good personality match (I think that much is a given), but either way, as have2thinkboutit says, I think this school may not be the best place for you. You talk about "the email," so I would assume they consulted with each other and together decided not to do it? Then it's not four rejections but one, not that I think it sucks much less. Anyway, it doesn't matter. In that sense, the fact that they say they don't want to sponsor you for a fellowship might be doing you a favor. If they can sense you are unhappy there, they are helping you find a place where you can fit. I tend to think people are not evil, but they can be selfish and self-serving. The comment that it would be too much work is very telling. But if they don't want to put in the work, you can't make them. I would write this place off, invest my time in another successful year on the job market without making the effort to collaborate with anyone there (which will free up time and emotional resources), and plan on moving to a new place next year, whatever happens. That is, I am going with your "happy self" that enjoys what you're doing, and ignoring the hurt feelings that come from having bad things happen to you that you can't control.
     
    With regard to getting papers rejected and your research being stalled: rejection is something that happens to everyone. If it's your first one, congratulations. You have been extremely lucky so far. It sucks that the rejection coincided with other bad things in your life, but you have to learn to deal with it. If you haven't yet, pick the paper up, make whatever changes do make sense from your reviews, and submit it to another journal. Regarding feeling stalled, since you say you are spending your summer writing up multiple papers, I assume that's not really so. Being on the job market can slow you down, especially when your emotions are already all over the place. It sounds to me that you are doing everything you should be. It'll take time to get papers accepted if you didn't submit anything this year, but it'll happen, there is no reason to assume otherwise. 
     
     
    And here I want to come to my main point. You describe the following situation: (success,) (success,) success, success, success, success, success, failure. Of course, it's possible that this was a turning point and now there will be a streak of failures. But there is no evidence to support this in your narrative. You had one bad year, but even as this bad year ends you are starting new collaborations and already writing new papers. Therefore, it's inevitable to conclude that this was an isolated incident and your future will be as bright as your past has been. Of course, the job market is difficult and one never knows, but if I were a betting person, I'd put my money on you. Again, if I were a betting person, I would bet that your panic attacks stem from the fact that you did everything right and still couldn't stop a series of bad things from happening to you. I can imagine if it were me, I would want to be able to put my finger on something I did wrong and could improve, to make sure it never happens again. Having no control over the situation is very difficult.
     
    My advice is twofold: first, keep doing what you're doing. The chances of this bad thing happening again are minuscule, and you cannot plan your life around avoiding it. Second, do something new, non-academic. It would help you feel better to have good memories associated with your town, not just rejections and failed relationships. Plan to leave next year, but leave on a high note. Pick up a new hobby, find a meetup group you like -- anything, and start living a full life there. 
     
     
    Lastly, I want to take time to address a couple of the suggestions that were made in the posts above mine. First, I do think there is something to have2thinkboutit's thought that the place you are at right now is not the best place for you. However, I would not go as far as to leave or take a break, unless you really feel like that is at the root of what is affecting your mental health. It sounded like your postdoc has already been extended and you are committed to being there, and if so then I would make it work -- perhaps mentally disengage from the people -- and plan to move next year, with enough time to do it professionally and not last-minute. Taking an impromptu break might leave a hole that's hard to fill on your CV and make it unnecessarily difficult for you on the job market. Plan to be elsewhere this time next year; it helps to have a plan and an end-point to the situation. Second, I don't think this one incident on your first year on the job market is any indication that you should be applying to lower tier schools or that you did anything wrong (and frankly, ivorytowerunlocked, I was surprised and confused by your comparison between this person's situation and a woman-hater, as well as by the suggestion to take multiple years to improve the research and grants before applying again). OP, you say that aside from the unfortunate ending, you did well on the job market. If it was unheard of, etc., then we must conclude that it will not happen again and next time will be successful and stay successful. Aim high and don't flinch. Conclusions should be drawn based on data, not anecdotes. And the data says your aim should be true. 
     
    Good luck, I hope this helps.
  9. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from alexmar2014 in Thoughts on my application   
    Before you start, you will want to make sure you know what specifically within social psychology you'll want to study, and having experience with research could help narrow that down for you. Make sure that you are picking places to study based on the fact that your research fits there.
     
    Realistically, you'll want to cast a wide net of places that you have a good research fit, because there's always the possibility that you have fit with a professor who doesn't end up taking students for funding reasons lowering your pool of places to apply. I don't know how similar econ PhD programs are to psych PhD programs but that'll be one of the most important things for your successful application.
     
    Social is super competitive. I believe (don't quote me as I'm not yet there) that CU-B Social took 2 new students this year. 
  10. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to Unimpressed3D in Venting Thread- Vent about anything.   
    Roommate from hell. I'm at the end of my rope. She's now eating my food, on top of everything else. She's openly malicious, ignores everything I say, and lies through her teeth. I've got some serious health issues, and she's done things that I've repeatedly, pleadingly told her aggravate them. She would deliberately wake me up every night (it was obvious eventually by the fact the noises were loud enough to even penetrate earplugs, repeated, and she always claimed not to know what they were afterward...and her malice came out in all its ugly glory as the weeks went on). She likes to hurt people.
     
    But the landlady is a bitch, and does squat to stop it regardless of the fact that she knows about my health, and that I told her long ago. She even extended the little monster's lease! She was supposed to move out at the end of June, and instead I'm stuck with her until the end of July. I got so worried about my health that I rented another room for the month. I would've moved out entirely, but my funds are extremely limited since I'm not able to work right now, and between the cheap rent and the location and (former) safety in a generally unreliable neighborhood, I think moving out would be shooting myself in the foot. Especially since the other rooms are already rented to other people for August. The landlady is now ignoring my calls, too, so I'm not sure if the little shit is at work spreading her lies again there, too. I am still looking around for available rooms, but between my health and my life being in severe disarray at the moment, I don't think I can handle that. I'm on my own, so I don't even have anybody to help me deal with all this shit, and the general state of my wider circumstances doesn't exactly help.
     
    Strange first post, I know. I suppose I should write something optimistic here to ameliorate it...but I can't think of anything, and frankly, the "positive attitude" thing would be bullshit here. A sense of humor and a healthy dose of pessimism is usually enough to get me through things, though my health problems sometimes drive me to the edge, but this little monster is just so malicious and openly trampling on me...I don't know what to do about it, and I feel like doing something crazy every time I'm around here. I'm trying to stay away as much as possible while she's there. Hope to god that's enough.
  11. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to fuzzylogician in weird situation with professor   
    One reason we think it is important that a record of the posts is kept is to correctly represent the context of the thread, so it remains useful to future readers. Here, for example, you are now saying that I made "abusive accusations" against you. I was responding to your own words in your now deleted original post where you said that you wanted to get your professor into trouble with the university, because of something that her boyfriend did off campus and which we have no evidence that she was involved in in any way. You may have meant something innocent, but those words carry a meaning that is not innocent. I don't think it's reasonable to ask us to stop referring to your posts simply because you don't like the answers you have received, especially since you are calling us out by name. I assume that you don't like the answers you have received because throughout you have been down-voting every post that suggests that the situation may have been more complicated than your interpretation of it, and you up-voted everyone who supported your interpretation. I have nothing more to add except responding to your latest reply to me to clarify that I have never mentioned Northwestern in any of my posts so I am not sure what you are referring to there, and I stand by what I did say (which, by the way, are my opinions, as a poster like any other). However, if you wish, I will stop responding specifically to your case in the future.
     
    More generally, moderators on this site are not paid. We volunteer our time to help others, and we want to make sure that our replies can help as many people as possible, hence the record keeping and policy against deleting posts. I am sorry if you feel that the responses you have gotten here have been unhelpful, but as has already been explained and I will not repeat at length, you can't control what people say. Maybe once some of the emotions linked with this situation and thread subside you can see that we were trying to help, and if not perhaps someone who comes in with a similar story in the future and reads this thread will. Whatever happens, I wish you luck and working through this obviously difficult situation and I hope that you can find a way to resolve it to your satisfaction. 
  12. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to firewitch in Impostor Syndrome   
    I had it really bad last January when I was trying to write my personal statement to get into the PhD program at the same school were I am finishing my MA. I was reading examples of a good personal statement for my field, and thinking "I am definitely not functioning on the level these people are!"
     
    I got a post-doc friend to help review my statement, as well as allay my fears, and turned it in. Not only did I get admitted to the program, but I ended up getting a fellowship!
     
    When you think about it, to question your own status as a graduate student is to question the competence of those who have admitted you into the program, those who have given you 'A's on your exams, those who have allocated funding to you, and those who have written your recommendations. Don't insult them - just remember you owe it to them and to yourself to keep doing your best.
  13. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from JustJay in Help!!!! Does this mean I got accepted   
    It sounds like just the decision letter. Not a yes or no.
  14. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from FantasticalDevPsych in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    No joke! I'll take an unconventional (and late) acceptance at a great school any day over another application season. Two was enough for me. So happy for you.
  15. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from FantasticalDevPsych in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    Late is better than never. Congrats!
  16. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to MidwesternAloha in Venting Thread- Vent about anything.   
    I've had it with spiders falling on me when I'm in my car!
  17. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to shadowclaw in Venting Thread- Vent about anything.   
    I discovered today that my department at my undergrad school made a facebook page about a year ago (which I was invited to like at some point but never saw it). While browsing through some of the photos, I discovered that a picture of me doing a titration was the cover photo for the entire past year up until a week ago. And I didn't get to see it, darn it! Well, at least they love me, anyway (or something like that).
  18. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from L83Ste in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    Social Psych PhD at CU-Boulder.
  19. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to lewin in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    They've got a ridiculously good intergroup relations group there so I echo the congrats! The only downside is that I hear it's hard to go jogging because of the altitude
  20. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to mb712 in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    I've been rooting for you since I joined this forum. Congrats!
  21. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to isilya in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    Congrats!!
  22. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from FantasticalDevPsych in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    Thank you. We're really looking forward to moving. My SO is more excited about the Boulder aspect of it than I am. I'm excited to get started with research.
     
     
    It took a couple of times, but that's why I really wanted to be there.
     
     
    That's so sweet of you to say. Thanks so much.
     
     
    Yay! Thanks!
  23. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to mb712 in 2015 - Social Psych   
    It's been a wild and unpredictable year, I've accepted an offer for a political science program. I've hung around here more than the political science forum though and you all have been especially helpful. Thanks for tolerating the political psychology applicant. 
     
    Happy April 15th to everybody! Congrats to everyone who got in this round, and I look forward to seeing all the acceptances pour in for the rest of you next application cycle!
  24. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted reacted to Much Anxious Very Waiting in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    I don't know much about that program - but I LOVE boulder! Congrats!
  25. Upvote
    FinallyAccepted got a reaction from Much Anxious Very Waiting in Ready to tell the world where you'll be attending?   
    Social Psych PhD at CU-Boulder.
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