thegraydude

UPDATE: You guys, I GOT IN!!  
 
I'm a worthy human being.  *sniff*

I've been friends with this guy I met at college for about a year now. He's a graduate student, 29, and I'm a 19 year old undergrad. He's incredibly caring and kind. We see each other at the gym several days a week, which was where we met. About a month ago, we made plans to hang out, and ended up hooking up, just making out, touching, etc. He continued to text me and talk to me after this, but did not make plans to see me again.    So I decided to take the initiative, and asked if he wanted to hang out again. He said yes, and we ended up having sex. That was my first time, and he was aware of it. After it happened, he would text me and ask how I'm doing and stuff but still would not try to see me again, except for at the gym.    So a week later I asked if he wanted to have dinner, and that I would bring a type of food that he really likes. I wanted to do this because both times we hooked up, I would sleep over and he would make me breakfast, so I wanted to return the favor. On the night we were supposed to have dinner, I texted him asking what time, and he replied with, "Thanks so much for thinking of me and the food, you can drop by my place to drop it off, but I won't be able to hang out because I'm really busy with writing" That really shocked and hurt me, because I felt so unimportant to him. I get he's busy, but asking me to bring him food without him wanting to spend time with me was so hurtful. What should I do? Should I ask him how he feels about me?

: I noticed a guy at my college’s gym who I would see all the time. I smiled at him and he said hi, and the next day, he initiated a conversation with me. We would see each other there a couple days a week and talk for about 20 minutes. He’s 28 ,a grad student, and I’m 19. He SEEMED to show a lot of interest in me, he would remember EVERYTHING i told him, he would always ask me how my midterms or papers went, and he would look at me for a long time and smile and laugh at everything I said. This went on for several weeks, but he never asked me for my number.
School ended, so I added him on Facebook and messaged him. We messaged for about a month, then I casually brought up hiking because it was something he showed interest in. I said that I always wanted to go but could never find anyone willing to go with me, hint hint. He never replied after this! Should I talk to him if I see him when school starts or is he not into me? I developed really strong feelings for him

@bbdd2: While you wait for her reply, here's my two cents: Nigeria seems to have a low Visa issuance rate since there are problems of document fraud there. I have heard that it's easy to bribe local entities and get the required documents forged there. The Visa Officers have to reject such people. So, IMHO, if you're documents are in order, you do not need to be particularly nervous about your interview because of your country. Goodluck!
 
On a separate note: Please refrain from thread hijacking.

I find your comments about my country very distasteful and racist
Quite frankly you have never been here and you've only heard yet you're making such scathing comments about a place you've never been to throwing all objectivity into thin air. Way to go
You're going to need a major mind overhaul so you don't run into trouble with uncouth and unguarded statements when you com over to a multi ethnic society like the US
 
On a separate note, i didn't hijack your thread. The forum allows for questions regarding similar issues.
DEAL WITH IT

@bbdd2: While you wait for her reply, here's my two cents: Nigeria seems to have a low Visa issuance rate since there are problems of document fraud there. I have heard that it's easy to bribe local entities and get the required documents forged there. The Visa Officers have to reject such people. So, IMHO, if you're documents are in order, you do not need to be particularly nervous about your interview because of your country. Goodluck!
 
On a separate note: Please refrain from thread hijacking.

Well, put it this way, even if your department pays you X amount of money, if you had some catastrophic event that landed you in the hospital where you racked up a $10k bill, who would pay for that? 
The question is really, at the end of the day, if you were in the hole financially, who would make sure you could pay your U.S. bills off and fly back to your home country? 
If you're wealthy, it's yourself.
If your parents or other family (a rich uncle?), then put that.
If the school is actually taking you on as a liability to enter the US (which, with an I-20 in hand, is arguably the case), then you'd put the school.
 
In any case, you aren't going to be denied your visa if what you put there is true, but not quite correct. I would put "self" if I were in your shoes, for the reasoning you explained above, and then when the visa officer asks (or if) about money, just explain. Worst case is you get a grumpy VO who wants absolute precision and they make you re-fill out the DS-160. 
As long as it's not a lie, you're fine - don't worry!
 
source: I'm a former VO.

All TA offers (pretty much all funded offers) come with some kind of conditions. Usually they are worded qualitatively like "satisfactory performance" and "continued progress" but you do get the occasional quantitative requirement (e.g. GPA > 3.x). 
 
However, your I-20 does not state the requirements and if the school is willing to commit the first year funding to you on the I-20, it is good enough. The visa officer's job is to ensure you meet F-1 visa requirements at time of application. Things can change but they cannot predict the future so generally, these issues are not considered in your application. It is up to you to ensure you remain compliant with F-1 status requirements once you enter the US.
 
By the way, usually the only way you do not reach "satisfactory performance" or "continued progress" is getting kicked out of the program. Very few programs will decide that you are not good enough for basic funding but still good enough to remain in the program!

Sounds like you're all set -- your I-20 says that you have sufficient funding from your school, so there is no reason why anyone would want to see proof of extra funds (unless you have dependents who are getting a F-2 visa, in which case you may be asked to show that you can fund their stay). You could get a copy of the affidavit of support from your department, just in case, but it should already be clear from your I-20 that this support is guaranteed. 
 
[disclaimer: I am NOT an immigration expert]

If you want the absolute best answer, you should ask the International Office. 
 
However, in general, your I-20 serves as your proof of funding for visa/entrance and status purposes. I also had a copy of my school's offer letter stating the funding amount, just in case, but they did not ask to see it. I do not think you will need the Affidavit of Support from your department directly--the I-20 is a more powerful/authoritative document. I would recommend having copies of any letters of admissions/funding that were already sent to you for your visa interview, just in case, but you don't have to request additional documents.
 
The VO will not ask for more funds than the requirement, unless there is some reason to believe that you will have higher costs (e.g. you are supporting F-2 dependents). However, the VO is expected to go by the cost on your I-20. 
 
You do not need an affidavit of support from your parents because you already have more funding in place than the minimum cost so you meet all F-1 requirements. I think it would be best if you reviewed the F-1 requirements and ensure you provide all documentation that is asked for. It would be best if you did not provide extra unsolicited information!

Depending on your field in security you should be concerned or not, mostly the part of Information Security that is the most important for them in TAL, is Cryptography(look here)
Also, most of the times they are not concerned about your past works unless they are black hat stuff which has caused serious damage. the following pdf is the source, most of the sites refer to concerning TAL which is for CMU.
http://www.cmu.edu/oie/forstu/pdf/tal-students.pdf
According to this pdf, TAL is considered for your country just because you are "capable of possessing nuclear tech" so Information Security wont be a concern in your country and mostly physics/energy related fields should be concerned. Also according to the same pdf they want to block technology "transfer", so it does not matter what you have done before, it is just the matter of what you WILL study which if you have a "research plan" letter from your POI, this would not be a concern either (even if you don't have that, you can tell them what are you going to work on based on your I-20 form)
I don't think you would face this kind of problem at all
Hope this helps.
 
P.S I want to get F-1 for Security field from another country listed in TAL. Wish me luck plz 

congrats. 

UPDATE: You guys, I GOT IN!!  
 
I'm a worthy human being.  *sniff*

Call them man. Phone calls are way easier, though way more expensive. I called people whenever I had doubts

UPDATE: I have declined the offer from other universities. Their reply: Thank you for your response, -------.  We wish you the best of luck!
 
For some reason, I am feeling very sad right now to have declined these offers. I do realize that other waitlisted students would now have an opportunity and I am glad about that. But somehow, it just doesn't feel good after having sent those 'decline' emails. Only a fellow PhD student can understand how hard we work to get those 'acceptances' and funding. I'm going to need some major distractions today--maybe watch the new season of Game of Thrones.

UPDATE: I have declined the offer from other universities. Their reply: Thank you for your response, -------.  We wish you the best of luck!
 
For some reason, I am feeling very sad right now to have declined these offers. I do realize that other waitlisted students would now have an opportunity and I am glad about that. But somehow, it just doesn't feel good after having sent those 'decline' emails. Only a fellow PhD student can understand how hard we work to get those 'acceptances' and funding. I'm going to need some major distractions today--maybe watch the new season of Game of Thrones.

I know how you feel. Someone else explained this feeling very well and it helped. They said something like:
 
You are always going to feel sad when you make your final choice, no matter how great the school you chose or how much you wanted to go there. The opportunity/potential to attend all of these great programs is always bigger than attending any single great program. However, it's important to remember that it's not possible to attend all these programs simultaneously. Declining the other schools can feel like you are closing these opportunities but in reality, you never had the option to attend more than one school!!
 
Of course, this is something we all knew coming in but knowing about something and actually experiencing it can be really different!! Good luck with your PhD studies!!

You should contact the people that requested the information for the I-20 in the first place. At my school, this is the International Students Office. At my school, the department admin staff does not know anything about international student status. My advisor would know even less. It's just not their job.

If your I-20 is lost, they will issue you another I-20. That is, other than the things we discussed in your other post, there is nothing you need to do. Unless you think this school is not a legitimate school and trying to scam you, you will get your I-20 eventually. I understand that you are worried and that the I-20 is important, but you will get it!

Sorry to hear about your frustrations!!
 
It's routine to print out a new I-20--they're not like transcripts or anything like that. I had to get my school to send me a new DS-2019 (same thing but for J-1) because they spelled my middle name wrong. You will also learn (or maybe you already know) that after you arrive in the US, that you need to get a new "travel signature" from your school on your I-20 or DS-2019 each year if you are traveling outside of the US. The signature indicates that you are still in valid F-1 or J-1 status. One time, I needed a new signature but stupidly left my DS-2019 in my office after walking all the way over to the International Scholar office. It was no problem -- they just printed out a new DS-2019 and signed it for me. 
 
So, once you reach the 6 week mark, contact your school again and ask if they could re-send it! It's still months before you would need to arrive in the US so I would not panic yet, although frustration is definitely understandable!

Registered mail in the US would have a tracking number. However, the standard method to mail things in North America is "First Class mail" or standard post, which do not have tracking numbers. Registered mail costs about 10x as much as first class mail, I think, so it's not usual for mass-mail documents (like acceptance letters, rejection letters, I-20s, etc.) to be mailed in this way. That is, it is normal for them to just mail standard mail and it will probably take a few weeks to get to you.
 
In general, it's more efficient and economical for schools to just use regular mail as the first step and then use a courier later on if regular mail fails and they need to get it to you ASAP. So I would say, don't worry, the schools are experts at this kind of thing. Just keep an eye on the calendar and contact them if it's a few weeks away from the date you absolutely need the I-20 in order to get your visa on time.

If you haven't received a fully official admission by mid March it may be worth contacting A. Seeing how there's still a month and a half left before the April 15th deadline for B, there's plenty of time for the graduate college to send out the official forms. I also see no problems with not formally declining B's offer until everything about A is completely official. You need to make sure your ass is covered first.
 
In all likelihood, you're in at A. It's very unlikely for the program to recommend you for admission without the ability to pay for you. I get the impression it's more common for the recommendation to be denied if you don't meet some minimum standard (TOEFL, GRE, GPA, etc).

Uh, no. The comment was inappropriate and misogynistic. Joke or not, this is not a place for these kind of comments. And this is coming from a guy...

7 replies and nobody has bothered to ask for the relevant data in this situation?  
 
Pictures, man. We need to see pictures of this girl before we advise on the correct course of action.

Congrats and thanks for the update!