whitmanifesto

I will also add, what to wear is pretty different depending on the culture of the department. NU students weren't dressed up, but the university as a whole does a LOT of colloquiums that require nice conference wear. My partner, though is male and masculine presenting so it's easier, dresses nicely for those events and is expected to dress nicely when he teaches next year. My current program is relaxed, and so have been all the places I've gone too. Honestly, students have higher expectations on dress code that faculty. As a masculine-leaning presenting female, I've received negative reviews from students for dressing the EXACT same way as male instructors and not being "professional" enough. 
I now mostly have unnatural colored hair and have visible tattoos and piercings (septum) and it was important that my department be an open culture for that. UIC definitely is (I'm not the only person there with quite visible tattoos). I've noticed that health communications and political communications focused departments are not like this, but my research is social movements and some queer studies so my appearance is very much appropriate. I once went over dressed to a history visit to IU Bloomington and was really uncomfortable (the prof was in a tank top and shorts and I was wearing black slacks and a black shirt).

Ask if the colloquium has a dress code even though you aren't presenting, because usually those are conference clothing only (business casual) but for a general visit office closes are fine. No one at NU or UIC were dressed up when I visited. I sat with the entire faculty and most of the grad students and it was just normal academic wear (I wore a short sleeve button up shirt, chinos and Keds. Everyone else was wearing similar, with a sweater as well or a dressy top).

To follow up, the esteemed @rising_star has added additional gender options and we now have an area for pronouns. Huzzah!

NU totally gives you the budget for that! And it's not that hard to find a cat friendly place in Chicago, and NU is really good at offering housing searches for it's students from outside the area. Also between me and @E-P we should be able to help you find a place. NY to Chicago is about $180 ticket or so I think? Its not an uncommon problem during PhD programs and then summer returning to NY may be very helpful too.
 

My partner and I do this now. She is doing graduate work in a different state than me and driving 9 hours one way is definitely out of the option. We split the cost of plane tickets and manage to see each other on weekends about twice a month. It has put some strain on the relationship (especially at first when we were getting used to the transition), but we think that the separation has actually made us stronger. Calling/messaging regularly has definitely been key, though! 
I guess making the long distance thing work really depends on the couple, but it is definitely feasible! I wish you luck with whatever you end up deciding

NU totally gives you the budget for that! And it's not that hard to find a cat friendly place in Chicago, and NU is really good at offering housing searches for it's students from outside the area. Also between me and @E-P we should be able to help you find a place. NY to Chicago is about $180 ticket or so I think? Its not an uncommon problem during PhD programs and then summer returning to NY may be very helpful too.
 

@deshypothequiez  You know, the logical thing is not always the thing that is right.  So yeah, it might be "most logical" to leave your cats behind, but you're going to need the emotional support that a feline friend can provide.  And if you come to Chicago, we'll help you get settled in.  We'll find you a nice cat-friendly place to live and you'll have built in friends and your boyfriend can come visit you.

If that's what you choose!  If it's not, we support that too!  We've got your back, girlfriend/boyfriend/zirfriend*.  Perhaps your graduate career is simply delayed...and you go to a PhD program in Europe when the SO heads their postdoc!  And in the meantime, you'll do something kickass right where you are.
 
 
 
(* In retrospect, grad cafe should have a place in profile where one can choose to note their preferred pronouns.  I shall submit a feature request.)

I got accepted with funding to NC State yesterday (2/20).

@Shay825 thank you about Indiana! I'll let you know if I hear anything about Maryland. 
 
Also on the Indiana front: The program has recommended me as a fully funded candidate and now I am just waiting upon the overall grad school to hopefully confirm me!!! 

Woo hoo! I'm in at NC State's RCDM program w/ teaching!
Wishing the best to all the other NC State applicants. If anyone else plans to visit or is accepted to the program, feel free to message me! 
 

There's a quote from Louis C.K. that I think is applicable here:
“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.”
My first year of grad school I was getting $3000 less in aid per quarter than everyone else in my cohort because I screwed up my FAFSA. I was broke. Constantly. So I rarely went out. Everyone else also complained of being broke but went out much more frequently. At the time I didn't know about our financial discrepancies. I just assumed they were eating fast food less frequently than I was and therefore had more discretionary spending for bigger things.
You're being fairly uncharitable towards those you are in school with. And not everyone's versions of struggling are the same. Playing a pain comparison game and denying them the right to express their own frustration with finances because they *seem* to be better off than you isn't going to win you any friends. You have branded them liars with bad attitudes, it seems, without really getting to know them. You have already decided what type of people they are. So yes. I'd say this is an insecurity on your own part that needs remedied.
Not to be harsh... but i wouldn't want to be friends with someone in my cohort who felt as you do. Anyone who begrudges another person the good things that come their way and assume it means they don't get to have problems also isn't a person I am interested in spending my time with.

@sriracha18 definitely ask how often grad students see their advisers and how easy it is to contact them. And how long professors have been at the program. I hope it's settled down by now, my undergrad degree is from IU, so I feel strongly connected to them.
@deshypothequiez I hope you hear from NYU MCC soon! I am in love with Lisa Gitelman! It is so great and so sweet, she answers emails so quickly (how I not so secretly judge Comm departments).

This is a twist on the same theme. I grew up and live in the deep South. Many students have deep commitments of faith and want to turn every piece of literature into a liturgical device or sermon. As part of writing a paper, I have my students talk to me about their topic and argument. In the process, I discuss with them the real meanings and foundation of the prose or poem(s) they want to write upon. Hopefully, they will see that most of the time what they are doing is not an analysis. I tell them unless they provide support to their argument, their ideas are simply conjecture and their own opinion, which is what I tell any student who fails to provide support of their argument. I don't want to discourage their ideas as writers, but want them to understand what analysis is and that they must support every bit of their argument.

@sriracha18 definitely ask how often grad students see their advisers and how easy it is to contact them. And how long professors have been at the program. I hope it's settled down by now, my undergrad degree is from IU, so I feel strongly connected to them.
@deshypothequiez I hope you hear from NYU MCC soon! I am in love with Lisa Gitelman! It is so great and so sweet, she answers emails so quickly (how I not so secretly judge Comm departments).

Yeah, I definitely got that feel. As someone more quantitatively focused mentors seemed kind of few and far between, and even slimmer based on research interests. I still applied though primarily for the sake of the research lab and Bloomington itself. 

I've been doing a 45 minute commute for 3 years now. It doesn't interfere with my schooling, bu it's very tiring because I work on the campus as well. I also feel less connected to my cohort but that's ok. I go what I needed from the program despite he commute. Just do what makes financial sense.

Two weeks until I head to NU! Still mostly unsure of what to expect; I plan on emailing the department next week to see if they have a schedule ready...

Yeah they offered to book me a hotel if I wanted to stay the night. They also are planning a few events on campus for me to get acquainted with the program.

Kinda of unrelated, but does anyone use HNet Commons? I love it, but wish they're could be a Communications / Media studies focused forum that more organized the research opportunities, applications, funding, journals, summer programs, etc. Its such a pain trying to fin them all.
I feel like academics (graduate students particularly), especially those focused on communications and media, should be far more networked than we are.

Kinda of unrelated, but does anyone use HNet Commons? I love it, but wish they're could be a Communications / Media studies focused forum that more organized the research opportunities, applications, funding, journals, summer programs, etc. Its such a pain trying to fin them all.
I feel like academics (graduate students particularly), especially those focused on communications and media, should be far more networked than we are.

@AnxiousKitty  We might end up in the same place! (Although I was admitted to the MA program/TA position)
I got the funding email from Milwaukee during a class and I spilled my drink everywhere when I jumped up  yelling "I got funded!" 

Woke up to great news this morning (I live on the other side of the planet). Received an email from my POI/temporary advisor (my choice!) informing me of my acceptance to UW-Milwaukee! They are very generous, and has offered me a TA position for four years, with an additional 6K extra award for my first year. Aside from this, I’m just really glad that it worked out and this POI is someone I really want to work with! 

MSU just sent me my schedule over the next two days.  Shit just got real.  
 
Really, if I can just not make an ass of myself, I'll be happy.

Wednesday Feb 21, I'm going to UIC for a campus visit. I requested it, but they're going to show me around in depth and I'm going to sit in on a course. This time Ill be able to see the graduate office spaces, the research resources and the grad rep is going to show me the best places for apartments. 

@deshypothequiez Thanks for the update! I know last year, people that were waitlisted weren't invited to the Recruitment week, but it seems strange for RPC to have waited so long. Maybe they have already sent them out and none of the accepted posted to TGC.
I just sent in my acceptance of the offer to UIC, so even if I get any emails, I'm out of the running for NU. A lot of the profs in this department and friends with the RPC and MTS profs at NU.
 (and the GSD responded after only 3 minutes, they are by the far the best Comm department at communicating I've interacted with so far)