Phyl

Having done my undergrad in Rochester NY my thoughts on winter footwear:
Buy your winter gear where ever you are moving, the winter stuff available in Rochester was much better than what was sold in my home of NJ
Make sure it's waterproof, certain ladies were very confused when their Uggs started smelling like wet dog.
Make sure your boots are loose enough to tuck your pants (and multiple layers if you are wearing them) in, cold wet legs are no fun.


I'll be going to orientation in nice jeans and a nice top, I'll adjust from there. Anything I've attended so far has been pretty casual and I expect classes to be the same.

Is Link+ an interlibrary loan/consortium exchange? My normal strategy (and this has happened to me, several times) is to go to the physical shelf in the library where the book should be. 99% of the time, it's there, and it's just that the person behind the desk didn't scan it back in properly. If the book came to you from another library, especially one not easily accessible, I would probably e-mail the librarians at *that* library. Give them the call #, your name, school, etc, and ask if they'll look and see if the book was reshelved at their library without ever being marked in as returned. This has saved me at least $35 in accumulated fines (as well as the lost-book fee). So yes, there's hope. Good luck; I hope it works out!

Bingo!

Hey Just me,
I don't have any advice for you, but I can tell you about my situation... and maybe you can tell me which kind of nagging is worse...

I'm female and asian american. But unlike my other asian american friends, my mom doesn't care much about pursuing higher education. In fact, she was disappointed that I had not found a husband by the end of my undergraduate degree. According to her logic, the reason why I should go to a great university is so that I can have better choices on the man that I should marry. "Doctors are preferred... no lawyers because they're dishonest," she says.

Anyway, long-story-short, she thought it was silly of me to want to pursue grad school and spend all my time in the research lab. I applied anyway and got into a great program at one of the Ivy leagues. When I told her this, she changed her tune. She is now ecstatic because she has convinced herself that I've "saved" myself throughout undergrad so that I can go to grad school at an Ivy league and find me a nice husband there. Can we say "delusional"?? haha The twist is that I do not plan to marry a man because I like women!

Though the Grad Cafe is quite US-centric, not everybody here comes from the same culture and therefore not everyone knows the same slang. But I suppose you were ignorant of that - bless your heart.

The employees at Enron were small cogs with limited responsibilities in a larger machine. Same thing with the people working for mortgage lenders. Many of them stood to gain nothing but honesty by telling their employers the truth about what was going on in their businesses. They would have lost their jobs. And the Enron crisis and the financial mortgage crisis would not have been prevented. People still would have been hurt and lost significant savings in both places. But lying just to save your own job is pretty small. Sometimes snark is just hurt feelings but sometimes it is fraud and dishonesty. When more people refused to put self-interest before telling the truth then the fraud and dishonesty will be mitigated and lessened. Enron wasn't just the one big guy who went to jail. It was all of the smaller employees who signed off on documents that didn't look right then cashed their paycheck.

Physician, heal thyself.

This is why Bernard Madoff ripped off so many people, why there was a financial crisis, why there was Enron. It was "smart" to ignore the lies, duplicity, dishonesty, fraud, manipulation, bullying to keep your job. There is so much fraud and dishonesty in these professions because people like you think it's "sophisticated" to keep quiet when you see clear fraud and bullying.

If you don't understand the key term in this hypothetical, then why are you answering my question? Sharing your ignorance is less valuable than you think.

It is sad that students are so pre-professional that when they hear of dishonesty and bullying in academia their response is to look the other way. This is why Enron and the financial crisis happened. The people who knew something was wrong did nothing.

I am agree with your thoughts. There are so many phd students are completed them studies, and many studying phd right now. But here is not many recruitment and jobs are. But i think you should never got impatient. You should try for it. If you lost your patient. This could be negative effect on your career.

An attempt to reveal the skeletons in the cupboard:

http://pi-reviews.blogspot.com/

Lol! this is so typical Eastern European. Like something my dad would say if he read this thread.

Talking about my dad, he is very disappointed that I did not get into Columbia University . I got into a fairly good program in the US, but my dad, who lives in Eastern Europe and went totally bankrupt while I was in college, thinks it is not good enough. The rest of my family thinks I am a loser, because I am still in school and do not have a baby.

Coyabean, I did not mean to be negative in my post. My idea was to provide a point of view that had not been previously presented--that even if you have worked hard and have achieved your goal of graduate study, having come from a less-than-privileged background, it is not necessary to develop excessive pride to overcome the possible lack of confidence and/or inferiority complex that you might (or might not) have. What I suggested was attaining the confidence and getting rid of potential inferiority feelings without having excessive pride, because other people have worked just as hard. You may disagree with this message and be defensive about it, but I see how it can also be interpreted as a positive, rather than a negative, post.

The point of providing my story was to reinforce the point I made at first. Namely, having come from a low-income background, I do not feel I'm better than those who happened to have been born in wealthy families. I do not think it should be a criteria by which to judge people in graduate school. Now, you can decide if it is a destructive or a constructive idea.

I apologize for providing anecdotal stories instead of results of diligent data collection. I'll go do that and report back to you. Would you like me to write a paper for you?

I'm not gonna answer every single thing you said. I'm not sure why you went through all of that effort, but I think your post was certainly more of a personal attack than mine. In fact, I think your attack on my post was way more douchebagy than my post. And your suggestion about censoring me...well, I think there are reasons for you to consider being embarrassed about it.

In any case, you may continue in the whining mode as much as you want, I just reminded of the possibility of looking at at it a different way.

The Peloponnesian War?

Drop out. You obviously can't handle it.

LadyL, please tell me you told that admin that their request for a response was "inappropriate" before declining their offer.

Yeah. I can't really do anything about my ears (they're stretched to 3/4", but the contour is still relatively natural) but honestly, most of my extended family still hasn't noticed and I've had them for 7 years. I look extremely presentable when everything's covered, and even when its not. My u/g adviser hasn't seen my arms yet but he knows about my ears, etc and has never seemed bothered. My field school teacher saw me in shorts around the field house and knows i have arm tattoos and didn't make mention of it. I like the idea of playing it safe and letting people judge me on my ability first and my appearance later and I'll probably take that advice.

Also, anthropologygeek, I read through your post a second time. There's nothing "lucky" about not having any tattoos or body modification, I'm not a stray dog that got tattooed by the pound. We all make decisions that are right for ourselves

I don't know, this seems rather dismissive. I think fuzzylogician has it exactly right: don't take them too seriously, but look to what you can improve for the future. Reading your description, you yourself suggest that at least one of the criticisms was essentially right, about you sitting in front of the room (though not about you not caring). Surely, you aren't that pressed for time that you have to do your own work while running a lab; I can see very easily why some students might be irked by that. Perhaps you should be walking around, actively asking and soliciting questions and checking up on things.

Were there any positive comments? As you say, voluntary evaluations usually mean you get either the very positive or very negative, but if there were no positive comments, you should consider what you could change for the future.

Ignore them -- you're working much harder than they are, and you know much more than they do. What they really want is for you to do all their work for them.
Then they would think you were a good TA, but then you'd REALLY be a bad one.

when you're apart, have an open relationship.







just kidding.







not really kidding.

You're upset because your grades were average?

Keep in mind that "average" here is the average of the people who were admitted to graduate school. Remember all the worrying and crying we did last year over how everyone else who is applying knows more and is smarter and has better experience than us? Yeah. THOSE are the people among whom you are "only" average. That's a waaaaay different average than the general population, or even general undergraduate population.

Furthermore: you may very well have done your best. "Best" does not mean getting 100% every time. Best means putting in as much effort as you can while still surviving.

But hey ~ you could be me. I had a prof tell me I am the most incompetent student he has ever had. Ever. At that point, average starts to look pretty damn perfect.

I'm pounding pots of coffee and attempting to motivate myself with a cupcake. I have 20pages due in 32 hours. I have an outline and some notes but I'm here instead of writing. I wish there was drinkable work ethic.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!! You are not making something out of nothing. Something about this man is making you feel uncomfortable, and that is not "nothing". As women, we are too often taught to dismiss our instincts and not to "rock the boat" or let anyone be upset with us. Well, guess what? You don't owe this man anything; there is no need to put his feelings ahead of your own! Even if he's just looking for friendship, and you tell him you aren't interested, so what if his feelings are hurt or he thinks you are rude? Not the end of the world. But it seems that you sense something else is going on; you owe it to yourself to take this seriously and take steps to protect your personal safety.

I agree with the suggestions that you speak to someone about this, someone you trust to give you sound advice and not just dismiss your impression as a misreading or an overreaction. Together you can develop a strategy for dealing with this man appropriately. You can plan exactly how you will react the next time you see him, "script" and everything. You can determine whether it is necessary to report his behaviour to someone, or what would make it necessary to report. If, God forbid, things should escalate, you will want an ally who knows what's been going on and a plan for the next steps to be taken. Even if he leaves you alone, it's comforting to have support in your corner.

Oh yeah, definitely this. I am constantly amazed at how many MS and PhD students in my current department have absolutely no clue of how to triage. Were their undergrad programs really that un-challenging? I wouldn't have made it through undergrad without developing serious triage skills.

YOU ARE WRONG. many schools, the vast majority of them, do not have terminal MSes or MAs. people are admittedly ONLY to the PhD program and are awarded the MS after two years and a thesis, just as you describe. YOUR SITUATION IS NOT UNIQUE. I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DESCRIBING AND I AM TELLING YOU THIS IS HOW MOST PROGRAMS WORK. so you can still get your MS in two years and then apply to some other school for their PhD program. it will add 1 total year (maybe 1.5) to your time to degree, but as you're apparently convinced, you will have the opportunity to work on something that truly interests you.

okay? okay.



lots of us come from working class backgrounds. YOU SHOULD NOT BE SUPPORTING YOUR FAMILY ON YOUR GRADUATE STIPEND. i don't care what your personal circumstances are, you are paid just barely enough to support yourself. you can't provide for them as well. if their financial situation demands that you contribute to their household while also supporting yourself (presumably while not living in their home) then you may need to leave graduate school. that sounds harsh because it is. what you really need to do is decide for yourself what's more important: getting a PhD or supporting your family. you can't do both at the same time, with or without summer funding.



you really have 4 options here:

1) drop out and quit academia.
2) reapply for schools right now and start from scratch at a new PhD program. you will lose this year's coursework and you WILL have a harder time getting into schools because you're leaving a great program after one semester.
3) finish your MS at this school with anyone, studying anything, and then apply for PhD programs in the fall of 2011. you'll explain your departure because you want to do a different type of research, which is a common reason for moving on. then you'll spend 4 years at your new school and get your PhD.
4) make things work at your current school for the long term. you seem pretty determined not to do this, so i guess you really only have 3 options.