MarineBluePsy

If anyone is continuing this group (here or elsewhere!) for 2019 I'd love to join. I use Slack with another writing group but I'm looking to boost my accountability this spring!
 
Saw this and bought the book. Halfway through. So far so good.
 
I'm currently reading this now and so far its great, since manuscript writing is where I'm at now.  I'm glad I read How to Write a Lot first though to get more productive with my writing.
 

Wow it took forever to find this thread as I found myself wondering....what the heck happened.  CONGRATULATIONS!!!!  I'm happy to hear that after all of the stress, misery, and general suckiness that your hard work paid off and you are moving forward with your PhD.  I sincerely hope your PhD experience is better than this one.

Well done.
Try to ask for guidance on how your writing can be improved. Professors telling students that their work is "excellent" can be a tactic for educators to not teach their students the methods that will take them to the next level.

The professor emailed me today to tell me that my last summary was excellent. I did not ask for it. So it's reassuring.

Wow it took forever to find this thread as I found myself wondering....what the heck happened.  CONGRATULATIONS!!!!  I'm happy to hear that after all of the stress, misery, and general suckiness that your hard work paid off and you are moving forward with your PhD.  I sincerely hope your PhD experience is better than this one.

In addition to the great advice above senior students have told me to learn to say no and don't feel bad about saying it as often as you need to.  There are always more things you can be doing in grad school, but there aren't enough hours in the day.  Once you decide what your priority is then decide if its worth your time to take an extra elective class, be part of an academic committee, add a community service project, or insert whatever other field specific thing comes your way.  All of those are great experiences that could look good on your CV and lead to networking opportunities, but if you don't really have the time for those things and whatever your priority is then you have to start saying no.  Sometimes this will mean telling your advisor no, but with solid reasoning they should be willing to support you.

Resubmitted tonight! Fingers crossed now! 

I'm not sure what type of writing you do in your program or what sort of help you need but have found these books very helpful:
How to Write a Lot by Paul J. Silvia
The Glamour of Grammar by Roy Peter Clark
Writing Empirical Research Reports by Fred Pyrczak

Just some news: I am resubmitting this week. Two of the three professors gave me their comments already, and they both said they would be highly surprised if I fail again. I hope the examiner will feel the same way!
I still have a few changes to make but nothing major in their opinion. 

In your 20s I see nothing wrong with taking a year off after a major achievement like a PhD (this is fine even after a Bachelor's in my opinion).  You literally have plenty of time left to join the rat race, save for retirement, buy a house, etc.  In your 30s or 40s a year would be excessive so maybe 3-4 months would be more realistic.  It sounds like you know you want to take the year off and you just want someone to say your reasons for wanting to do so aren't crazy.  Your reasons aren't crazy.  Your parents won't be here forever and spending time with them now (while they still remember you and can move about) is never going to be something you regret.  The year off can also be used to really think about where you want to live and how best to enter the job market there.  If you so choose, you can also work on your stutter.  You can also enjoy some of the things that 20somethings who were less productive than you enjoyed routinely........sleeping in, taking a road trip, doing something stupid just because, binge watching some random tv show, travel, etc.  You can also engage in some hobbies you've always been curious about and just plain relax.  Be sure to journal about your year so when you're old you can remind yourself of all the fun you had.

In your 20s I see nothing wrong with taking a year off after a major achievement like a PhD (this is fine even after a Bachelor's in my opinion).  You literally have plenty of time left to join the rat race, save for retirement, buy a house, etc.  In your 30s or 40s a year would be excessive so maybe 3-4 months would be more realistic.  It sounds like you know you want to take the year off and you just want someone to say your reasons for wanting to do so aren't crazy.  Your reasons aren't crazy.  Your parents won't be here forever and spending time with them now (while they still remember you and can move about) is never going to be something you regret.  The year off can also be used to really think about where you want to live and how best to enter the job market there.  If you so choose, you can also work on your stutter.  You can also enjoy some of the things that 20somethings who were less productive than you enjoyed routinely........sleeping in, taking a road trip, doing something stupid just because, binge watching some random tv show, travel, etc.  You can also engage in some hobbies you've always been curious about and just plain relax.  Be sure to journal about your year so when you're old you can remind yourself of all the fun you had.

In your 20s I see nothing wrong with taking a year off after a major achievement like a PhD (this is fine even after a Bachelor's in my opinion).  You literally have plenty of time left to join the rat race, save for retirement, buy a house, etc.  In your 30s or 40s a year would be excessive so maybe 3-4 months would be more realistic.  It sounds like you know you want to take the year off and you just want someone to say your reasons for wanting to do so aren't crazy.  Your reasons aren't crazy.  Your parents won't be here forever and spending time with them now (while they still remember you and can move about) is never going to be something you regret.  The year off can also be used to really think about where you want to live and how best to enter the job market there.  If you so choose, you can also work on your stutter.  You can also enjoy some of the things that 20somethings who were less productive than you enjoyed routinely........sleeping in, taking a road trip, doing something stupid just because, binge watching some random tv show, travel, etc.  You can also engage in some hobbies you've always been curious about and just plain relax.  Be sure to journal about your year so when you're old you can remind yourself of all the fun you had.

In your 20s I see nothing wrong with taking a year off after a major achievement like a PhD (this is fine even after a Bachelor's in my opinion).  You literally have plenty of time left to join the rat race, save for retirement, buy a house, etc.  In your 30s or 40s a year would be excessive so maybe 3-4 months would be more realistic.  It sounds like you know you want to take the year off and you just want someone to say your reasons for wanting to do so aren't crazy.  Your reasons aren't crazy.  Your parents won't be here forever and spending time with them now (while they still remember you and can move about) is never going to be something you regret.  The year off can also be used to really think about where you want to live and how best to enter the job market there.  If you so choose, you can also work on your stutter.  You can also enjoy some of the things that 20somethings who were less productive than you enjoyed routinely........sleeping in, taking a road trip, doing something stupid just because, binge watching some random tv show, travel, etc.  You can also engage in some hobbies you've always been curious about and just plain relax.  Be sure to journal about your year so when you're old you can remind yourself of all the fun you had.

Hello,
just wanted to give some news to those who were worried about me: I am okay. My mental state is good, despite the circumstances. I do a lot of self-care. I want to thank those of you who have shown empathy towards me and remembered that I am a human being (instead of being paternalistic and judgmental or tried to "Dr Phil'ed" me on the Internet in assuming that I should not do a Ph.D which is a big LOL to me).
My supervisor said that if the external examiner fails me again, we're going to appeal for sure. I feel better though because I know that I have a "recourse" or an option if something turns bad again.
The news came out that I got the scholarship. I have received multiple hundreds of messages of congratulations. Not all of those people know about my thesis failure, but I feel encouraged by these people who actually know me IRL and are confident in my ability to succeed. 
I also have a third professor who has accepted to read and comment the revised version of my thesis, before we send it off to evaluation again.
I feel less anxious than I did a month ago. I am going to do the best that I can, just like I have always done, and I know that in the event that something happens again, my whole department is ready to defend me in the case of an appeal (again, these are professors that have known me for years and are confident in my ability to succeed in academia).
I also want to mention that I won't be coming here as much as I used to, because this place is not healthy for me. If you want to keep in touch, just PM me.
 
 
 

I think its good to be thinking about this early and keep revisiting your strategies regularly to make sure your system is still working for you.  In terms of your personal goal, my biggest piece of advice is to schedule this just as you would your classes and research.  I keep an electronic calendar and I schedule all of my workouts, weekend events/activities with friends, mani/pedis, hair salon visits, etc.  If its on the calendar I'm already committed to doing it and it reminds me that it is just as important as everything else.  These things often can't be rescheduled and if I've prepaid then I'm going no matter how tired or not in the mood I am.  Forcing myself to prioritize my self care in this way has served me well.  Once there I always end up having a good time and then I don't feel like my whole life is nothing but school.
As for your other goals I would say resist the urge to plan everything extremely far in advance because in grad school things change constantly and you're always learning about new opportunities.  I started out just making a weekly plan and setting reminders for long term deadlines.  Then I added a daily to do list and that seemed life changing.  Then I started planning two weeks at a time and now I'm trying to expand to a month.  I'm aiming to plan 2 months at a time, use a daily to do list, and set reminders for long term deadlines and I think that'll be enough for me.    
Also its impossible to do everything and that's ok.  There will always be more opportunities in the future.

As someone preparing to start a Masters in the fall this thread has left me feeling pretty disgusted. It makes me think that I should not expect any empathy or appropriate support from colleagues if I ever face a crisis.
When someone is in a state of crisis, barraging them with criticism and advice is actually incredibly unhelpful. It can put the person in more distress and make it even harder for them to think and problem solve the crisis. It's not suprising that it would produce an emotional response or 'lashing out'. Do we really think telling someone in crisis that based on reading their posts on a forum we can diagnose all of their character flaws and declare that they actually aren't cut out for their position is appropriate advice?? It may make you feel self-righteous but you're not actually giving someone the harsh reality, you're just being a jerk.
 
Just because someone vents their personal frustrations on a forum doesn't mean you're obligated to respond. You should all reflect on whether you are really the best person to respond when someone is in distress on this forum and you are unable to provide a nonjudgmental response.

Well you could find out where they post job openings or ask if they are accepting resumes, but it seems like if there were full time opportunities available that would have been mentioned when you asked about internship opportunities.  You could also request a meeting for networking purposes and get some advice/suggestions on your current job search and see if he knows of any opportunities at his company or in the field or can suggest a professional association or conference that may expand your options.

Well you could find out where they post job openings or ask if they are accepting resumes, but it seems like if there were full time opportunities available that would have been mentioned when you asked about internship opportunities.  You could also request a meeting for networking purposes and get some advice/suggestions on your current job search and see if he knows of any opportunities at his company or in the field or can suggest a professional association or conference that may expand your options.

@maxhgns, @PaulaHsiuling, and @MoynihanBreakerBurkina
I have taken all of your advice and have steadily worked to try and improve the piece while also ignoring some of the harsher comments. After reading through it another time (I don't know what number I'm on), the reviewer does have valid points of criticism, but I still stand by my original statement that some are completely out of line for academia (my idealized version at least). Regardless, I learned to thicken my skin and prepare for the brutality of the peer review process.

Totally agree with @bibliophile222.  Why on earth is this forum dogpiling criticism on someone who came here for looking for understanding?  No wonder this place is slowly dying.

At first I didn't think I was going to jump into the fray, but I can feel @Adelaide9216's frustration and pain palpating through the screen. I know all of you are trying to be helpful and give her the harsh truth as you see it, but as someone who's been reading her posts for a year or so now, it feels a bit like you're crushing her soul. I know how much effort she's been putting into her work and how much all her hopes and dreams depend on passing the thesis. I gasped when she first posted about failing. I don't think she's trying to pass the buck and blame everyone else, she just poured out her soul at a time when she is feeling very vulnerable and stressed out, and I think it's kind of sad that people who have purportedly read her posts think this is an appropriate time to deliver the "harsh reality" in all its cold, unsympathetic harshness. @Chanandler made what may have been a valid point, but I can think of a few different ways it could have been stated more positively without hurting her to the extent that it did. Maybe I'm too soft and taking this too much to heart, but I like to think that if I reached out like this in a state of heartache, I would receive sympathetic support instead of a damn peer review.

Yes this is possible and I bet if you searched the forums you'd find posts about it.  I did well in undergrad, but was not trying to be an honor's student and didn't do a senior thesis.  Afterward I pursued a different career path for several years before my interests shifted and grad school became necessary.  I did well enough on the GRE to meet minimum cutoffs for the Master's programs that I was looking at and went on to do well in the program I chose.  Here I gained a little more research experience by volunteering in one lab, but didn't publish any articles or present a poster at a conference.   After that I was accepted into a fully funded Clinical Psych PhD and it wasn't because I had better stats than the other applicants because I didn't.  It was a combination of having acceptable stats, research interests, career goals, and fit within the department.

Yes, I have another professor who is going to read my thesis. Thanks! 

@Adelaide9216  I have also had a rough time in my program and have been horribly unsupported in my research training, but have never regretted attending colloquiums that are relevant to my area of interest.  By doing so my motivation is renewed and I often chat with others about ways to improve my work or expand on ideas I have.  

If you're so inclined, I recommend that you take a look at her master's thesis/report, her doctoral dissertation, and also recent theses that she supervised (with most of your effort spent on this last task). You may be able to get additional insight IRT her expectations. Ideally, the patterns are clear and consistent.