BionicKris

@BionicKrisI feel you because the same thing was happening to me. and I was checking this site obsessively. But I had to stop for a while and just wait to hear back and stay positive. Good news is on the way 

Trust me, you would so much rather be opening this app 27 times an hour to see if you have a new cat or a enough fish to buy a burger cushion than refreshing your email at comparable intervals. The game apparently instilled in someone the will to live:  
http://www.polygon.com/2016/1/22/10800378/neko-atsume-review-life-changing 
It might keep you off this site for a little while! ...or you might be like me and inexplicably return here to post pictures of your virtual cats...

well, I suspect you're going to have a hard time in grad school

Hold up, was I the only one that gave them a stack of cash ahead of time?

I hated my program, too. So, I left. It seems like a lot of people on this forum are ready to jump down your throat about classwork being irrelevant - but I'm sure quite a few of us have felt that way at some time or another. My program in particular didn't allow us to tailor our classes to represent what we'd be studying. We were all lumped into a group - so if you wanted to study cancer, you took cancer courses. Neuro, you took neuro courses. It makes it a bit frustrating when your focus is a little more interdiscplinary than that, and your stuck having to fight to get into classes that are "reserved" for people of a specific training group.

While I don't think that every class is worthless, I can fully empathize with you about wanting to just get into the lab and learn what you need to learn for your work. There are more ways to gain foundational knowledge than being stuck in a classroom and taking tests to determine how well you memorize information. Being able to ace coursework is only half the battle and a lot of classrooms these days don't necessarily allow students to engage in meaningful critical thinking - which is central to any discipline. Some people learn better in a classroom, others learn better as they actually practice the work. I'm a member of the latter group and found attendance in class to be frustrating. I don't know what your circumstances are. I don't know if your teachers are only teaching to fulfill a university requirement and therefore have no dedication to it (I've experienced this more times than I can count), I don't know if you're in a situation where you're better off just teaching yourself the material at home and reaching out to a prof when you have questions (also experienced this.). But, hopefully things will get better.

Everyone told me to stick with my program becuase "that's just how it [was] supposed to be during the first year." If you plan to stick it out, try to temper your unhappiness in the classroom with supplementary articles you find on your own. Talk to professors/PIs on a one on one basis about what you want to study and how you can make the classwork more relevant for yourself. At the very least, find a mentor.

On another note - we've all heard the reports and seen the statistics by now. The system may be "f*cked" as you say, and the market may be flooded with PhDs, etc. The only person you can worry about is yourself. What are you going to do to separate yourself from the masses? Sure, there are always plenty of people that apply for the same job, but someone has to get the position. Why couldn't or wouldn't it be you? As my boyfriend's father once said, "shovel enough sh*t and something is bound to stick."

I hope things get better for ya!

I hated my program, too. So, I left. It seems like a lot of people on this forum are ready to jump down your throat about classwork being irrelevant - but I'm sure quite a few of us have felt that way at some time or another. My program in particular didn't allow us to tailor our classes to represent what we'd be studying. We were all lumped into a group - so if you wanted to study cancer, you took cancer courses. Neuro, you took neuro courses. It makes it a bit frustrating when your focus is a little more interdiscplinary than that, and your stuck having to fight to get into classes that are "reserved" for people of a specific training group.

While I don't think that every class is worthless, I can fully empathize with you about wanting to just get into the lab and learn what you need to learn for your work. There are more ways to gain foundational knowledge than being stuck in a classroom and taking tests to determine how well you memorize information. Being able to ace coursework is only half the battle and a lot of classrooms these days don't necessarily allow students to engage in meaningful critical thinking - which is central to any discipline. Some people learn better in a classroom, others learn better as they actually practice the work. I'm a member of the latter group and found attendance in class to be frustrating. I don't know what your circumstances are. I don't know if your teachers are only teaching to fulfill a university requirement and therefore have no dedication to it (I've experienced this more times than I can count), I don't know if you're in a situation where you're better off just teaching yourself the material at home and reaching out to a prof when you have questions (also experienced this.). But, hopefully things will get better.

Everyone told me to stick with my program becuase "that's just how it [was] supposed to be during the first year." If you plan to stick it out, try to temper your unhappiness in the classroom with supplementary articles you find on your own. Talk to professors/PIs on a one on one basis about what you want to study and how you can make the classwork more relevant for yourself. At the very least, find a mentor.

On another note - we've all heard the reports and seen the statistics by now. The system may be "f*cked" as you say, and the market may be flooded with PhDs, etc. The only person you can worry about is yourself. What are you going to do to separate yourself from the masses? Sure, there are always plenty of people that apply for the same job, but someone has to get the position. Why couldn't or wouldn't it be you? As my boyfriend's father once said, "shovel enough sh*t and something is bound to stick."

I hope things get better for ya!

I hated my program, too. So, I left. It seems like a lot of people on this forum are ready to jump down your throat about classwork being irrelevant - but I'm sure quite a few of us have felt that way at some time or another. My program in particular didn't allow us to tailor our classes to represent what we'd be studying. We were all lumped into a group - so if you wanted to study cancer, you took cancer courses. Neuro, you took neuro courses. It makes it a bit frustrating when your focus is a little more interdiscplinary than that, and your stuck having to fight to get into classes that are "reserved" for people of a specific training group.

While I don't think that every class is worthless, I can fully empathize with you about wanting to just get into the lab and learn what you need to learn for your work. There are more ways to gain foundational knowledge than being stuck in a classroom and taking tests to determine how well you memorize information. Being able to ace coursework is only half the battle and a lot of classrooms these days don't necessarily allow students to engage in meaningful critical thinking - which is central to any discipline. Some people learn better in a classroom, others learn better as they actually practice the work. I'm a member of the latter group and found attendance in class to be frustrating. I don't know what your circumstances are. I don't know if your teachers are only teaching to fulfill a university requirement and therefore have no dedication to it (I've experienced this more times than I can count), I don't know if you're in a situation where you're better off just teaching yourself the material at home and reaching out to a prof when you have questions (also experienced this.). But, hopefully things will get better.

Everyone told me to stick with my program becuase "that's just how it [was] supposed to be during the first year." If you plan to stick it out, try to temper your unhappiness in the classroom with supplementary articles you find on your own. Talk to professors/PIs on a one on one basis about what you want to study and how you can make the classwork more relevant for yourself. At the very least, find a mentor.

On another note - we've all heard the reports and seen the statistics by now. The system may be "f*cked" as you say, and the market may be flooded with PhDs, etc. The only person you can worry about is yourself. What are you going to do to separate yourself from the masses? Sure, there are always plenty of people that apply for the same job, but someone has to get the position. Why couldn't or wouldn't it be you? As my boyfriend's father once said, "shovel enough sh*t and something is bound to stick."

I hope things get better for ya!

Jufarius,
The good thing about Creative Writing is that there is no cookie-cutter applicant. Most may have a background in English, but Philosophy is not such a far stretch. Take some English/Writing electives while you are at Yale to help beef up your transcript.
But really, the most important thing for a CW applicant is your portfolio. Write, keep writing, and hopefully by the time you apply for your MFA, you will have some good stuff ready to send out.

Good luck waa salaam,
AlHayat

This is what I, too, am finding.

I joke only half-heartedly that I am in the remedial PhD program. I mean what is a statistic? Really? It's picked up a bit towards the end of the semester but I finally figured out that the whole point of classes is to justify paying me a stipend to be here. The professors don't seem to particularly care about rigor so I guess the adage that if you are doing too well in class then you're doing grad school wrong has some merit. When I get bored I go to the library and randomly start pulling books and articles in my subject area. I am becoming a professional lyceum attendee. I'll attend anything on any subject in any department. I'll attend twice and early if there's food. I have to seek out stimulating conversation by any means necessary.

I will say that it has been a bit disappointing to find that a doctoral program at a private elite school is nowhere near as...interesting as I'd hoped? But people are just people, I guess. And those of us who enjoy challenge of any kind are probably in the minority no matter the environment.

I learn more in the grad school office and department computer lab from advanced students than I do in class. But, again, changing my perspective has made it more enjoyable. I just do what I need to do to contribute to class and spend the majority of time trying to make connections between coursework and my research to keep the classes relevant.

As far as the harassment goes, I'm so sorry that's happened to you in grad school. And it's absolutely not acceptable that your advisor has not taken you seriously. I mean, it's happened to you, it's not just a "concern," it's a legal issue.

I second a lot of the suggestions here already: document, document, document. Also, do consider recording an instance, especially if your higher-ups are trying to ignore it. If you have evidence and present it to the DGS, they should absolutely do something for you. If they don't, write an article about it in your newspaper. Make sure everyone knows that these bastards aren't doing anything to help you.

And the next time they harrass you, don't be afraid to fight back. Tell them they are the slime balls they are, and that you wont' tolerate their treatment (it isn't your fault or responsibility, but sometimes taking a firm stand and saying something to the persons face will make them back off, or just make you feel better!)

My sympathies, they're fucking assholes. I hope this gets resolved for you!

I feel your pain OP. My school set up a listserv for my cohort a few weeks ago. After hearing nothing from any of my future classmates I took it upon myself to introduce myself and get the ball rolling. I've heard back from 3 people (1 of which I already knew). It's going on week 3 now and I can't help but wonder if this icy reception via internet will be the same in person? I love my fellow science geeks, but sometimes I just want to scream TALK ALREADY! I'm fairly extroverted and I have no problem taking it upon myself to meet new people, but when do we draw the line between "getting to know you" and "please get out of my face new person?" Meaning, how do I know when I'm bothering you and when I'm not?

I also carry a book around with me at ALL times, so I hate it when people try to talk to me when I'm reading - especially when it always seems to happen at the good parts. For this reason, I don't approach people with books. I figure those of us that love escaping into the world of literature don't want to be bothered.

Maybe you could try making friends with someone outside of your cohort? I've met multiple people that will be attending my school in the fall that are getting their grad degrees in Anthropology and the reception has been much warmer.

I must say that I also feel your pain on the aspect of scattered friends and friends with families. I am the only one amongst my small circle of friends that is going to grad school, and sometimes I wish I could pack them up and bring them with me. My best friend recently got married and has a baby on the way, so now all our conversations center on her impending motherhood (doom?) It's tough, but I wish you the best! I'm sure that everything will work out in the end, it just sucks not knowing how and when!

pink eye

I'm a high school teacher. Last quarter, I taught an integrated unit on zombies.

I am going to miss my job next year. :0(

Okay fellow literature-o-philes:

I'm about 75% of the way through Butcher's latest Dresden novel Changes and I have to vent. He's putting my character through some crazy b.s. As my SO so eloquently (and rather snidely) pointed out to me, I guess that's why it's called Changes. I don't know if anyone else out there reads the Dresden Files, so I won't ruin the story - but don't you just hate it when a favorite characters is forced to endure all manner of atrocities before he comes out on the other side. And then doesn't? It's frustrating, and, yes, I know it's just a book, but I've come to count on Dresden for a good read and now it seems like Butcher is trying to end it all. I'm sincerely hoping this isn't the case, but anything could happen.

In short, I guess I'm trying to say - don't you just hate it when you have genuinely good reading material on your hands and in the blink of an eye, your author comes along and snuffs it from existence?

Wow. I originally thought that this post was about finding a decent boyfriend/SO from simply reading the title. Boy was I wrong. I'm sorry OP, but I really feel sorry for you. You've found a man that is willing to follow you to the ends of the earth and you're upset because he isn't on the same level as you academically. Women have, for decades, been expected to follow men as they pursue their careers and you have (from what it seems) a genuinely great man on your hands that you're ready to throw away because he's willing to do the same for you. I assume that most women would be happy to have a man that is willing to take "slave wages" and live with family just to be with the woman they love.

It seems, as so many other posters have stated, that you are looking for a way out. We've given you that, just not in the way you expected. We are telling you to break up with him, but more because you don't seem to even like him than because he's not on the same "trajectory."

Good luck in the future. I hope you do eventually realize that money and success and degrees can only keep you so warm at night. I personally like sharing my bed with my SO - he's perpetually at 99 degrees and he keeps my toes nice and toasty.

Wow. I originally thought that this post was about finding a decent boyfriend/SO from simply reading the title. Boy was I wrong. I'm sorry OP, but I really feel sorry for you. You've found a man that is willing to follow you to the ends of the earth and you're upset because he isn't on the same level as you academically. Women have, for decades, been expected to follow men as they pursue their careers and you have (from what it seems) a genuinely great man on your hands that you're ready to throw away because he's willing to do the same for you. I assume that most women would be happy to have a man that is willing to take "slave wages" and live with family just to be with the woman they love.

It seems, as so many other posters have stated, that you are looking for a way out. We've given you that, just not in the way you expected. We are telling you to break up with him, but more because you don't seem to even like him than because he's not on the same "trajectory."

Good luck in the future. I hope you do eventually realize that money and success and degrees can only keep you so warm at night. I personally like sharing my bed with my SO - he's perpetually at 99 degrees and he keeps my toes nice and toasty.

I am sorry but this thread is such a hilarious example of "white people problems." Oh no, your boyfriend won't get his Ph.D. until two years after you! The horror!

My boyfriend has an associates degree and grew up in a trailer park. This has very little to do with how I view him as my partner. He is one of the smartest people I've ever known, he's just not great at structured learning. Amazing self teacher though. He's probably a better learner than me in a lot of ways even if I look better on paper.

One thing I've learned with time is that I care less about the status of my partner than how he treats me. If your priorities are different that's your decision, but don't punish your (apparently very loyal) boyfriend because of it. Either deal with it or leave him and find some bajillionare with 3 doctorates to date.

Here's my male perspective.
I would personally resent being with a spouse who thinks I am a failure.

Yes, I've read all of Miss Sookie's stories. The show takes some liberties with the storyline, but I think you'll enjoy the books. The last one was a bit of a let down, but authors can't be great all the time can they?

I understand your beef with Twilight. Taking it at face value it's a story of love. When you really break it down and examine the female - male relationships within the story it does seem as if Bella was more than ready to give up her life to be a wife and mother. Now that I think about it, Meyer didn't even seem to give Bella a life outside of ol' Ed. We don't know anything about her hopes and dreams for the future outside of being a wife to Edward. That aspect of the story, to put it shortly, sucks.

Wait...where are all the science geeks? I took a gander at some of the degree concentrations listed here and I don't believe I saw any of my fellow science geeks. Tear! I'm thinking this thread is my alter ego's thinly veiled way of saying - do the creative writing program already! All in time, my precious (too much Lord of the Rings, anyone?).

Mudgean: I totally agree with the nike approach that you've taken with twilight. I know it was a book for tweens, teens and everything in between, but come on! I've been meaning to read Asimov for years. I keep passing by his work in BN and saying to myself "Ah. Not this time." But one day, I'll conquer my procrastinating. Obviously, not today.

I read Great Expectations in high school (I think) and it was okay. I think it would've been better if not for my teacher. He saw symbolism in every single word. It got to the point where it ceased to be a story and became more a clichéd lesson in less is more.

HelloKaty: Yes. The Glitter was hilarious. I don't think any self-respecting female, infatuated with vampires or otherwise, would find herself attracted to a man covered in glitter. If that's not a sign, I'm not sure what is.

Infinite Monkeys: I thought the same thing about Lamb. I even read the foreword (afterword? I'm not sure) and I never do that. The amount of time and effort Moore put into ensuring that he captured the history was phenomenal. I think the most important thing that he did was capture how human Jesus was. What if more people believed that Jesus faced temptation and walked away from it just as we have to every day? As opposed to believing that he did all of these amazing things, but was somehow above it all? I'm not a religious person, though I do believe in God, but reading that book gave me a greater sense of my faith. I can only wonder if Moore knew or hoped that his novel would have that effect on people? I mention that book to every person I know because people can sometimes take their religion too seriously and it's nice to just go with flow and relax. Good luck with being trapped with the Type A's. I'm trying to divorce myself from my Type A-ness but, if I don't do it - who will? LOL.

Anxious Applicant: It all makes sense now. A Philosophy major. I took an ethics course in college that really got me interested in Kant's theories but my brain is so muddled with answering the scientific questions of the world that I haven't gotten around to really reading his work. Maybe I'll try Keirkagaard as well. Any suggestions as to where an extreme novice like myself should start?

Sparky: Thank's for the info. I'm heading to BN now. I don't know why I don't just deposit my paychecks there...

I think we have all strayed from the topic at one point or another. I was forced to take a year off after undergrad because of funding issues and I refused to pay my own way when someone else could pay for me AND give me a stipend. I enjoyed my 22nd year of life searching for temp jobs and redoing the entire application process. NOT. FUN. I missed the life of a scholar and being around people that were excited about learning new things and being in school. I also worried that my year off would make me a deadbeat, but it just made me all the more determined that I was taking my ass to grad school. I can't stand office jobs. They suck. I'm committed to the PhD program now and I know it's going to be a tough road. But as soon as I can call myself Dr. Supergrad I'm jetting off to Europe for a few months and enjoying what's left of my twenties. If you do take a year off good luck to you and please party for those of us that are stuck toiling at the bottom of the totem pole!

And remember *all together now* DON'T STOP BELIEVIN' HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEELLLIIINNNN!

Yes, I've read all of Miss Sookie's stories. The show takes some liberties with the storyline, but I think you'll enjoy the books. The last one was a bit of a let down, but authors can't be great all the time can they?

I understand your beef with Twilight. Taking it at face value it's a story of love. When you really break it down and examine the female - male relationships within the story it does seem as if Bella was more than ready to give up her life to be a wife and mother. Now that I think about it, Meyer didn't even seem to give Bella a life outside of ol' Ed. We don't know anything about her hopes and dreams for the future outside of being a wife to Edward. That aspect of the story, to put it shortly, sucks.