Tamim Ahmed

@OneJournie Thank you for your response

Hello everyone, I have struggled so much with my writing in English. When I take GRE last time, I got 3 in the AWA section. I read so many sample responses about writings for the last few weeks. Here's one of my writing after reading about so many materials. It would be very helpful if somebody please go through my writing and comment on how much I will get in the real exam and provide necessary suggestions or improvements. Issue: The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes. Response: The perceptions of human minds change with the light of education. From the beginning of life, people have different views about rules and cultures of the society. With the power of education, the world is viewed from the same as before but with different perspectives. For instance, the world seems flat for a child, but after few years of education, curious minds seem to learn about the galaxy and think that it is, in fact, round and moving around the sun. Moreover, people learn that for complex mathematical calculations, which would take millions of years to find the result are actually solvable within a few seconds using just a computer. Education teaches to judge about the norms and rules of the society and perform the inconceivable matters in the world. Firstly, science has been progressed so much that people traveled through the galaxy more efficiently than ever. For example, at the beginning of 19th century, moving through space was unimaginable. However, in 1969, Neil Armstrong and his team landed on the moon, which alters the concepts of most people around the world. Moreover, mathematicians used to pass several years to find a solution to a problem. Nevertheless, most complex calculations are done by the computer, which operates very fast and provides the result in a short time which was inconceivable before. Besides, in industry, products are produced in a sophisticated machine, which is the result of hard-work of engineers. Furthermore, education helps us to differentiate between the right and wrong of the society. For example, for many years 'suttee' was performed in Hindu religion, where a woman was burned alive with the dead husband, and then, it was prohibited by some intellectuals, like Ishwar Chandra Vidya Sagar, a writer of the Indian subcontinent. Besides, women empowerment was not available in many cultures of the world. But by proving the society wrong, women have shown that they are not only for doing household works; in fact, they have become competitors of men, and they can rely on themselves. Considering all ideas, people come to the world and learn from the society about the truths. However, education reshapes one's mind and helps to achieve the unthinkable subjects and modify the existing cultures. The rules of a community, which the members of it following for several years are judged and altered by the intellectuals with the power of knowledge. For example, in the last century, smallpox took away lives of many persons in the world, but with the advancement in medical science, it is always recoverable now with a vaccine. Finally, an infant learns the behaviors, norms, and cultures of the society. However, all the perceptions a person has changed over time by the power of education. What this means to the big picture is that with academic disciplines, people started to question whether a specific rule is better for the society or not and they can change the rules for the betterment of the world.

Hello everyone, I am planning to appear GRE exam very soon. But I am very concerned about my writing. Last time I attended GRE, I got 3 on the writing. I am trying to improve my writing. It would be very helpful for me if someone please review my writing and provide necessary corrections and tips I need. It would be a great help. Issue: It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual. Response: An individual who has an enterprise has his own interest in the growth of the enterprise. But true success never comes from an individual; in fact, it comes from united efforts from many members of an enterprise. Moreover, companies successes always depend on new innovations, which helps them to keep positions in the market and compete with others. Obviously, people use companies products by being attracted to the uniqueness of the products. For example, every human wants to have the best cars available according to their budget. In addition, in case of medical treatment, most people always want to consume the best for their health. Undoubtedly, the successes of the companies were quite inconceivable if only a single person is responsible for all the works. The prompt attempts to connect innovation with a unique perception of a single person. Generally, one could argue that innovation results from only the perception of an individual and not with the help of others. Looking back at the introduction, the addition of new features in a modern car and the recent development of medical treatments all are the results of a combined effort of many members behind the development. Indeed, all the innovations of most companies are the result of many years of research, and many sleepless nights and hard works of the members. For example, Apple is one of the tech giants in the Silicon Valley. Steve Jobs, the founder of the Apple, didn't alone responsible for the massive success of the company in the world. Nowadays Apple is one of the dominant software companies in the world. Admittedly, the leading position becomes possible by the contribution of millions of programmers, engineers, and marketing specialists of Apple. Similarly, Bill Gates alone didn't contribute to the growth of Microsoft. In fact, Microsoft gained its market position by the combined efforts of all the workers around the world. Despite an idea might come from an individual, but to implement the idea many persons contributions are important for the successes. Furthermore, smallpox was once an epidemic disease around the world. Many people around the world, died because of smallpox. However, after many years of research, scientists created a vaccine which is able to cure the patients attacked with the disease. Nowadays, medical science is able to give eyesight the blind, robot arms and legs to the crippled. Now, since medical science is progressing rapidly, scientists are now revealing some theories even about brain transplant also. However, the last example is not the contribution of an individual. Indeed, many scientists, who are researching on the brain transplant, are giving enough time to their research every day to discover something new. Therefore, an innovation is the contribution of many creative minds participations and their contributions. Today, Nobel Prize, the most prestigious prize in the world, is given in most cases to the three to four members of a team and not an individual. Finally, innovation is very important for the improvement of an enterprise; in fact, for the development of the world. Nonetheless, an individual is not alone responsible for the success of the enterprise. Though an idea can come from an individual, to implement the idea every member of a team's participation is necessary.

Hello everyone, I am planning to appear GRE exam very soon. But I am very concerned about my writing. Last time I attended GRE, I got 3 on the writing. It would be very helpful for me if someone please review my writing and provide necessary corrections and tips I need. It would be a great help. Issue: Laws should not be rigid or fixed. Instead, they should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times and places. Response: Laws are the basic principles of our day-to-day life; therefore, behavior of an individual should not go beyond the lines restricted by laws. However, laws should vary on different situations, cultures and regions. A quick reflection on a typical day reveals how laws impacts on humans. For instance, people go to work places everyday by using vechicles, which follows traffic rules. In addition, every person has to reach to offices timely and follow certain disciplines to maintain cooperative environments to the offices. Nevertheless, due to certain obligations, maintenance of laws everytime becomes difficult and because of that laws should not always be very strict. The prompt attempts to connect rigidity of laws with making them pliable on certain situations. The assumption is that laws sometimes need to be suppled on different scenarios. Looking back at the intoduction, sometimes following traffic rules, and reaching office in time and maintaining all the laws of work places becomes hard due to personal obligations. Undoubtedly, on those situations, rules should be liberated. However, child birth rate is an important law in many countries of the world. Though many countries like, Iceland, do not have any limitations on child birth rate as they have very few populations. In contrast, overpopulated countries for example, China and Bangladesh have so many people that government of those countries created different rules for birth control; in fact, no parents cannot have more than two children. But because of recent natural calamities, which takes away life of almost half of the population of Shin Yang, a region in China, are now focusing on increasing the population rather than controlling that. Futhermore, in 1946, when the second world war ended, women started to work both on households and industries. At that time, most families in the USA were suffering from financial issue. Therefore, having one extra bread-feeder makes like easier for the people. In addition, many women attended the world war II for the sake of the country. Women empowerment, which was inconceivable at the beginning of the 19th century, now becomes common in almost every corner of the world and they do not rely on men anymore; in fact, they become competitors of men in every field of science, economics etc. Connection all ideas, laws helps to regulate a society by the government; in fact, laws make a person think before commiting a crime. Nonetheless, laws sometimes need to be unfettered by considering scenarios, environments and cultures. For example, a serial killer should be punished severely whereas a person who kills for saving another might not be punished as much as the previous one. Finally, laws are very important for the society. Without laws, people might have created an chaotic environment where life would be very difficult. But every time laws should not be austere, sometimes for the sake of improvement of the society, laws firmness should be reduced. To summarize, as laws are for people, so if laws sometimes is liberated on necessary situations, the society will be benefited.

@I_Charge_by_the_foot Thank you for reviewing my writing. I am bit confused about "Progressive tense" you mentioned. Can you please elaborate that? Also, I acknowledge I have very poor skills in grammar. Can you suggest me any way by which I can improve my skill?

Hello everyone, I am appearing GRE exam very soon. I am very much concerned about the AWA section. I attended the GRE exam previously and got 3.0 on the AWA. Here I am posting a sample issue which I wrote. It would be very helpful if someone please review the issue. The issue is given below: Issue: Originality does not mean thinking something that was never thought before; it means putting old ideas together in new ways. Response: Originality has different meaning for everyone. It is the basis for many inventions. But inventions does not necessarily means something new, old ideas can also modified for the better usage of the humanity. In the 19th century, the innovation of automobiles brings profound impact on the life of the people. Moreover, the wireless communication, which was once inconceivable in the beginning of the last century, is now available in almost everywhere in the world. Similarly, the invention of computer brings a revolution in the world. Each of these ideas were quite unimaginable few centuries ago. The statement mentions about originality by using the old ideas in a modified way among the people. As the world is developing day by day, humans choice of products is changing rapidly. Nowadays, in case of automobiles, one checks the best speed and cost for their convenience. For communicating, most of the cellphone companies tries to add features like high resolution camera, size and compatibility of the device. Most companies in Silicon Valleys like Apple, Microsoft etc. are in huge competition to add customer interests in their products. However, when the concept of wireless communication was first proposed, surely nobody thought smart phones would be available like nowadays. At the initial stage of the wireless communication, the telephone was very rare and would take huge costs for transferring information to the other end. But now smart phones are available in almost every person in the world. In the purpose of getting massive revenues, most companies are trying to add new features like security, which is a must for every smart phone users for the preservation of their personal information and compatibily, which makes market position of a company stronger than other competitors. The quantum theory is a good example of originality depending on the old and proven facts. The basic of quantum mechanics has restored the old and valuable ideas of Newton's mechanics. However, one has to think about old ideas creatively. In the purpose of making the better world, sometimes the improvement of old ideas, which was once revolutionary makes the life of the people easier and merely connects the world in a fast way. One has to go through established ideas to find drawbacks and by improving them old ideas can be represented in the best way. The value of old ideas merely cannot be ignored. Therefore, originality does not have to be always something which was never thought before. In fact, one can look into the old ideas from a completely different angle. Originality can stretched human knowledge, which gives new inventions. Every person has the independence to take the ideas from the nature. Thus, one can take inspiration from the old work but after giving respect to the person behind the old ideas.

Hello, I am planning to appear TOEFL exam very soon. I need help to evaluate my assay and what score I will get on TOEFL exam. It would be a great help if someone go through my writing sample and suggest necessary correction. Question: Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why? My answer: Smart phones are very important to keep up with the modern life. Having a smart phone from a very young age helps a student to easily access the information of the world in a very short time. So, I think having a smart phone at a young age is very important for development of a student. The most important benefits of having a smart phones is that helps a student in education. Moreover, if a student gets stuck in a paritcular topic which one needs to go through many books to find an answer, in that case, using a smart phone one can search by just typing something in smart phones using search engines like Google, Yahoo etc. Additionally, students can download any books, articles etc. in the easiest way. Modern technology is advancing rapidly day by day. To keep up with the modern standards, students need to be introduced with the modern technology. Because, previously before internet, people used different letters, telegrams for communication, but nowadays one can communicate just by using different social networks like Facebook, Imo, Snapchat, Skype etc. Maybe, after 50 years, technology will find a better way for communication. For entertainment, nowadays, people used different sites like Youtube, Dailymotion etc. Now people don't rely on a particular program to be telecast on TV. Moreover, student can communicate through email, chat etc. when they are in bus, subways etc., they don't need to go to their home, turn on computer for communication, therefore, saves time. Although having a smart phone is useful, but in some cases, student misuses it. Some students go to different adult sites which demerits their characters. Also, some students pass so many times with their phones and hampers their education. So, having a smart phone is useful as long as students use to the limit and for the improvements of their life. Smart phones are one of the most benevolent tools for a student. In fact, in modern world, smart phones are must. Because, world is changing day by day. One person having the smart phones helps oneself to better acquainted with the modern world. Students are the future and therefore, at a young age having a smart phones helps themselves to be developed easily and cope up with the modern world.

Thank you very much for showing my errors and giving your suggestions. I was in a fix about how to write an issue. Those errors and the suggestions you wrote are very helpful. I will try to increase my writing ability by following the suggestions you mentioned.

Hi, I am planning to appear GRE exam very soon. I am facing problems in the GRE AWA section. My writing is in very poor condition. It would be a great help if somebody please go through one of my issue example and suggest a better way to improve my writing. I have attached my answer of the issue. Thanks in advance. Issue: The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. My answer: A great leader is that person who can help his people in their distress not by showing superiority to them. A person learn leadership from his childhood. Childhood is the period which will determine what he will do in his next life. So whatever he learns in that time is very important for his life. That's why he should learn to help others from childhood not neglecting them and thinks to go forward.Whenever a child comes in a society, he learns about other people. That's the best time for him to be taught. If he learns that earning respect comes from people, so he will focus that in his life. He will always try to be at their side. Whenever it comes to competetion, he will just ignore others and thinks for himself only. He will learn that to exist in society, one must learn to beat others. That's way society will not be benefitted from him in any way.Mahatma Gandhi dedicated his life for his people. He helps is country for freedom. He frees his people from British. He understands his people and helps them when they are in distress. He was a great leader. People still remember him for his self-denial. If he thinks about competition, he didn't have to do that. He was a president. But in that way people will not be benefitted from him.Whenver a child plays with his friend, if he always think about winning and wins every time, he will never understand the pain his friend gets because of losing. But if he learns that by helping his friend and teach him how to play well, then he can put a smile on his friend's face.In our society, in most cases competition is practices not cooperation. From the very early stage of childhood, people started a race. A race in which thay always think about winning. They think that's their success. But they never learn that success is not lying in beating but helping others.A society's develpment comes from a young people. If they think about others, people will think about them, worship them. Young people are the valuable assets of the society. They can change any sorrows. A true leader comes from that person who thinks about people. A leader always try to help his people in any ways. But if young people always thinks about the prosperity of about themselves, the development will never come. If we want to develop a society, we should think to help not ignore people.