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PsychedOutHopeful

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Posts posted by PsychedOutHopeful

  1. 2 hours ago, Clinapp2017 said:

    First, I am sorry to hear that this happened to you. This sounds like an experience that you've been able to turn into an inspiration and something positive, despite how helpless I am sure that moment felt to you. 

     

    So, to clarify, you are a social worker right now and work with trauma/active SI/HI in-patients? And you want to do back to school for another 5-6+ years to become a clinical psychologist (PhD) researcher on EBTs for PTSD? 

     

    I have thoughts somewhat unrelated with your question:

     

    1) Can you move around easily depending on where you are admitted (if you are admitted)? If you are a military spouse are you tied to a certain area/need to move? If so, this may, frankly be incompatible with 5-6 years of PhD training, plus a potential (likely) move for internship, plus a potential (likely) move for post-doc, plus a potential (likely) move to become faculty.  

     

    2) Do you have any background in research (lab work, publications, posters)? If not, you are not likely to be competitive at funded, reputable research PhD programs where prior evidence of research productivity is basically a requirement to be in the competitive applicant pool. 

     

    3) Is there any way as a social worker you can get hooked into research at your current institution or neighboring institutions? I know it's not common, but I know of several MSW/LICSW folks engaged in research in some capacity, though I am unsure of being a principal investigator (maybe a co-investigator...?)

     

    I am throwing all of these out to help you think through this a bit more. If you still think applying for a PhD makes sense given the above, I am wary about including this story in your personal statement for a variety of reasons. Talking about your past work with trauma/in-patient is fine, but sharing such a vivid personal trauma in a personal statement may come off at TMI for some readers. I also am wary about this because, though you feel you are on an upward trajectory, you've only just met full DSM PTSD criteria and you'd only be in treatment for ~4 months or so by the time you submit your application materials. Though you may truly be in a good place, the literature does not necessarily reflect such a fast recovery from PTSD (generally), so you may raise some flags in terms of emotional liability. PIs all understand that we all have stories and many of us have mental health issues/histories, but being a potentially active PTSD case may not be appealing to some PIs, even if it sounds inspirational to you. 

     

    This is just my opinion. Others on the forum may care to differ. There may also be a way to bring this up in interviews or your SOP vaguely, such as discussing the index trauma with not such specific description and talking more about the journey you've completed and importantly, using vague language to make it sound like this is more in the past than it is. You are clearly very resilient, which is awesome, but again for reasons stated above putting some distance between you and the trauma might be a better move from the application angle. 

    I appreciate your thoughtful answer. This is actually my third cycle so I’m pretty familiar and am working at a lab related to my area of interest. And I have had several acceptances in the past, just not to my top choices and have made conscious decisions to reject offers. And being a military spouse means I am actually v aware of timing and PCS-ing, but it’s great you’re aware of the challenges that military families face in creating and maintaining a career. 

    In regards to the rest, I appreciate your perspective, and you have a lot of valid points for sure. 

    And actually the literature shows a large variation in PTSD recovery time. Especially for point trauma. But I’ll keep all that in mind! Thanks! 

  2. *TRIGGER WARNING- this is about trauma including suicide* It's intense. Don't read it if that will be upsetting for you.

    Hi guys. I am considering my persona statement/ essay. The work I want to do is increasing provider training/ patient accessibility to evidence based practices for trauma/ PTSD. Specifically focused on the military, but really everyone. And this is what I've wanted to do for years/ ever. I'm also interested in the meaning people make from trauma and how some people thrive while others struggle for years.

    A month ago, I was driving on the highway late at night with my family in the car (they were fortunately asleep) and a man ran into the highway from a rest stop and literally jumped in front of my car, committing suicide. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could have done. I was going 65 mph (the speed limit), it was raining, and very dark. Despite braking and swerving, I was unable to do anything to save this man's life. He wanted to die, and made sure that would be the outcome. Fortunately, I was able to save my family (my young child was in the car), and I am the only one in my family who actually witnessed it. I developed Acute Stress and subsequently, as I've passed the one month mark, PTSD. I have a wonderful trauma therapist and have made a lot of progress. The meaning I have made from this had truly reinforced my desire to do the work that I described above. I was lucky. Lucky to live, and lucky to find a trauma specialist who is able to provide me with evidence based therapy. But not everyone is so lucky. I am at the point where I can talk about it without becoming overly emotional, and imagine I will be more so by interview time. I was not a religious person, but truly feel that it is my calling or purpose to do this work. To help other people survive their traumas, and to increase research around trauma related EBP, and increase provider training.

    I am a social worker who previously worked inpatient psychiatry and in and emergency department... with trauma and helping people to NOT kill themselves (or others). I'm also a military spouse who understands deployment stress and trauma stemming from service on many levels. And now I'm a trauma survivor (hopefully, thriver) who in my core understands trauma and the value of EBP. What I'm wondering is if you guys think I can share any of that info in my essay. It's a bit outside my comfort zone. I'm not a general oversharer. But I guess there's a part of me that is like this crazy thing happened. It has shaken me to my core, yes, but also underscored and strengthened my desire to do this research in hopes of making a difference for even one trauma survivor. I feel that in my soul. I had actually been accepted to a PsyD program for Fall 2020, and I was all set to go... despite some reservations about my ability to do the research I wanted. But after this, I feel like I NEED to do reapply to PhD programs, and become a researcher. 

    So what do you guys think? Is there a way to discuss this without being too overshare-y? Too intense? Please be honest. 

    Thanks! 

  3. 1 hour ago, Psychlove said:

    Has anyone heard anything about USUHS civilian acceptances? The interview was on Feb 25, is it too early to reach out to the department to politely inquire? 

    I haven’t seen any posts about civilian acceptances. I think it’s totally fine to reach out at this point- I’m not going to be able to call today, but I’m in the same boat as you! Please let me know if they give you any insight! I’ve seen a lot of people who reach out to programs a week after interviews.

  4. 3 hours ago, Psyhopeful said:

    I wish it was that simple, but I’m a single mom of a 3 year old. Roommates aren’t an option for us at this point. They have family housing but it’s not great and everything there is expensive. 

    I have no helpful advice, but YOU ARE SUCH A ROCKSTAR ❤️❤️ Doing the work to get into grad school is hard. Doing the work with kids is v hard. Doing the work as a single parent is beyond impressive. Congrats x a million. 

  5. 1 minute ago, Keyz said:

    Exactly. It’s hard for me to not think “what didn’t I do right? Was I not good enough? Did I say something wrong?” I try my best not to get into that thought process but it’s hard when you did everything you could and were as genuine as possible. Plus the reality is you will never know because most programs will just say “large pool of highly qualified applicants/very competitive applicants this year!” I think the best part of these forums is that there are other people going through the exact same thing and can empathize and actually understand what the process is like. Hopefully everything works out for you and @yeahsouh though, I’ll be wishing you guys as much luck as I can!

     

    Just now, yeahsouh said:

    Likewise! Thanks!

    Oops, exceeded my reaction quota for the day!! But thanks to both of you. It is such a surreal experience. Also how bizarre are interviews? you’re put in a high stress environment with multiple people who are applying for the same spot... but you might like them and be like oh wow they have worked so hard too, but you’re also like PICK ME, but also trying to be so laid back and polite and low key FREAKING OUT (or is that just me ?). The whole thing is just weird and exhausting on so many levels. 

  6. Just now, yeahsouh said:

    Yeah I still get spikes of like... losing 30 minutes mindlessly refreshing this site and checking portals, etc, a couple times a week. But there are also blissful stretches of hours at a time where I forget I even applied for anything, which feels pretty good.  This is my theme song for this part of the process: 

     (

    Ha that’s perfect. I hope you get some good news soon!!!! 

  7. 4 minutes ago, Keyz said:

    I’m not very religious but I just pray everyday that someone will inevitably go to another school and that I’ll be accepted off of the waitlist. But it’s still driving me crazy because I want it so bad and have done so much up to this point if that makes sense. 

    I get this completely. Like because I truly feel like I have done all I can, and worked and tried as hard as possible, I will be that much more crushed if stuff doesn’t pan out. 

  8. Just now, yeahsouh said:

    I drove myself crazy for weeks, and I'm at the point now where I've convinced myself I'm waitlisted at best and just am acting as if I need to move on. If I do get an acceptance, it will feel like a wonderful surprise.

    It's... kinda working, kinda not? 

    That’s kind of what I’m trying to prep for mentally. Like focusing on odds against me so I’m not completely crushed. But oh my gosh this is insane. If I wake up at night, I’m like TODAY COULD BE THE DAY ? 

    oof.

  9. I am so stressed waiting to hear back from my interview at my top choice. I LOVED it and feel like it went really well, but also know there were multiple applicants from labs at the school. I keep playing everything out in my head and I don’t think I could refresh my email more frequently! 

    How have you guys coped with the interim? What’s been helpful for you all? Or am I just doomed to full on anxiety until I hear back? 

  10. 13 minutes ago, vallaboop said:

    I wouldn't worry about it! You are still interviewing with them and that's what matters! Plus it will help you get out some of your nerves having more time to be acquainted with other faculty members. 

    I haven't received my interview schedule and they said I won't until that morning. Talk about stressful

    Ah thanks, I’m trying to think about it like that. But I am reading into EVERYTHING

    and maybe day of is a good thing! Bc then you don’t have extra time to read into things like me ? good luck! 

  11. 8 hours ago, PsychWannabee said:

    Any advice on how to withdraw your application from consideration from programs you've interviewed for? I haven't been accepted, so it's not like I'm turning down an offer. I just plan on accepting the offer I have, so I would like to withdraw my application from further consideration. Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

    Congrats on getting accepted! I would say something like

    Dear XXXX,

    I really enjoyed interviewing at your program, I was especially impressed by/ enjoyed XYZ. It was great to have the opportunity to meet the faculty and students. However, I am writing to inform you that I have accepted an offer elsewhere, so I would like to withdraw my application from X. Please let me know if there is anything else you need from me at this point. I appreciate your time and consideration.

    Thank you,

    XX

     

    Or something along those lines. I feel like you always want to be thoughtful in how you respond as you never know who your future colleagues will be, and your reputation is important. 

    Congrats again!! 

  12. 1 hour ago, dancedementia said:

    I keep on going to the websites of my two top choice programs and just rereading the information over and over again because I am just SO DARN ANTSY. Does anyone else do this? It's not just me, right?!

    Oof this is me. Like maybe there’s some code written in their mission statement that will tell me if I’ll be accepted if I just read it 500x. 

  13. 32 minutes ago, checkingmyemail said:

     

    Feel free to PM me if you want to debrief a little bit more? I have given so much personal feedback to fellow applicants on here who were rejected across the board. 

    I went through this process three times, and really learned about myself and how to change my relationship with rejections. 

    Also this is SO kind of you. It makes my heart happy that you’re becoming a psychologist ❤️

  14. 27 minutes ago, DaphneBanks said:

    so, I got denied from 11 out of 13 programs. I am waiting on one PhD and one masters program. my depression has definitely set in and I just feel so lost. i've slept so much ever since finding out. 

    i just feel really hopeless and have no idea what to do because my initial plan was migrate with my family as we moved down south, but we might not be doing that. i'm worries that even applying for a last minute masters program might break me because if i don't get in, then it may be the last straw. i don't feel stressed, i feel helpless and hopeless

     

    18 minutes ago, checkingmyemail said:

    For anyone reading this: Please do seek out professional help if you feel your emotions and/or stress is becoming overwhelming. You do not have to suffer with these thoughts alone.

    Being rejected from programs, especially in your first application rounds, is very normal. I recommend for you to look around at the feedback some of us have given to applicants across these threads who are taking rejections very personally.

    Feel free to PM me if you want to debrief a little bit more? I have given so much personal feedback to fellow applicants on here who were rejected across the board. 

    I went through this process three times, and really learned about myself and how to change my relationship with rejections. 

    This is such great advice. I got rejected from all but one school the first time I applied. I knew that school wasn’t the right choice for me, but I went anyway because I was so sad and dejected. I made it for a year before withdrawing and deciding I was NOT going to be a psychologist. I became a bartender, a buyer for a clothing store, and then became a social worker (which I loved tbh). Anyway, TEN years later, I’m reapplying. I haven’t gotten in anywhere at this point, but my outlook is so different. It is such a crazy, competitive, unfair, sometimes nonsense, heartbreaking process. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be sad if I don’t get in (SO SAD), but I have learned more about myself and what I want personally and professionally over the last ten years than I would have if I had just gotten in. I’ve moved a ton, made a family, made mistakes, learned, helped people, helped myself, and came back to psychology because I love it & I’m going to keep on trying even if it doesn’t work out for me this time. Your worth isn’t defined by this, even though it may feel that way. You are more than this and you may be so surprised by all you can accomplish by taking some more time before going to a program. You have your WHOLE LIFE to be a psychologist. It will always be there whether it begins this year, next, or in ten (hi!), or twenty, or whatever!! Rejection hurts. But as someone who was so hurt that I literally needed a break from the field, I can tell you that it heals, and I truly feel like in my case, it was for the best (corny AF but true!). Give yourself a hug, put on a great movie (Crazy Rich Asians is a great feel good movie), pour yourself some wine, and remind yourself that you are a rockstar no matter what. 

  15. 29 minutes ago, kerplunk said:

    Rothy's! They are a bit expensive but so comfy and mine have held up for more than a year of daily use so far. The fact that they are machine washable doesn't hurt either...

    Yes! I have a pair on their way to me- I’m glad you like yours! I’ve heard good things. 

     

    17 minutes ago, dancedementia said:

    Look up Rasolli career pumps on Groupon! The ones with low heels are SUPER comfy while also looking very professional. 

    Ok perfect, thank you. I’ll check them out!! 

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