disidentifications

upvoting for the Joni Mitchell and Pink Floyd and Arcade Fire and Fiona Apple and Lorde and FATM and The National. it's 1.30am here and my brain isn't quite so lucid, so all i can say is, i love all your music tastes omg.

slow disco's such a gem of a song -- it really is like st vincent says, if it's a good song, it should work however you play it. and it does!! i think pills is more of a grower. i really didn't like it initially, but the more you listen to it, the more it makes sense? and that saxophone part by kamasi washington at the end, alongside those terribly heartbreaking lyrics and annie's howl-like voice just make such a perfect combination.

@lyonel_ @The Wordsworthian @Bopie5 I just set my youtube on autoplay earlier, and it led me back to this (the side D of all delighted people), so I thought i'd just share it here, just in case anyone, like myself, was ignorant about its existence until recently.

ohhh do you have a favourite track off that album? and the original version of masseduction? (happy birthday, johnny always makes me tear up, but pills really grew on me, and that last part? so. good.) mine too!! except i can't listen to it too much because it's so melancholic and has, over the years, become the music i cry to. (same with the national, to be honest.) she has such a haunting voice, and like st vincent, is basically a genius on the guitar. i can't recommend her enough...

Serial CMBYN & Phantom Thread OST replayer here too! Though I’d also add the soundtracks for Her, Pride and Prejudice, and The Hours onto my study playlist. I love Andy Shauf as well, so it seems I’ve got to check out everything else on your list, since your taste in music seems to overlap very much with mine. @Bopie5 @The Wordsworthian It’s so nice to know that there are other Sufjan fans on this forum as well!! Does anyone else have Illinois at hand, in preparation for the day that they’re rejected by Chicago? (I’m not optimistic about my chances, so my vinyl’s already at the ready for when I need to mourn the lost hours I’ve spent working on my Chicago application...) On a side note, since you’re both fans of Sharon Van Etten, do you listen to Anna Calvi or St Vincent too? Their music’s in a somewhat similar vein to Van Etten’s, I think. And of course, I have to ask, are there any fans of Kate Bush here?

Congratulations!!!!

not exactly a rejection, but this was amusing enough... Trump University Politics, Philosophy And Economics, PhD (F19) Accepted via Other on 15 Jan 2019 ♦ I 15 Jan 2019 report spam Turning down the offer because they didn't offer me a ladder to get across the wall.

I should think so, since @mandelbulb's friend did call UChicago yesterday, and was told that they were still reviewing applications. (Besides, interview updates for Chicago usually come around 20th Jan, with the talk of doodle polls and other interviewees...) Got that too, but as everyone said, it's probably a universal email. Still, that January 17th deadline for us to update our language proficiency has me wondering if they've actually started going through our files yet, or if they're only going to start on the 17th. (Please, start sooner, so we can be freed from this misery earlier!) Congratulations both!! And best of luck to you, for your interview and funding situation respectively!

That's true, especially with regards to the disjunction between the goals of the department and the institution itself. Based on what little I know about UPenn from a friend who's doing her history PhD there, your (@savay) experiences are not unlike hers, though she's also taken care to emphasise that the English department itself is exceptionally cohesive and collaborative. Likewise, my own undergraduate university is currently also embroiled in a conflict of such sorts, and it's getting quite ugly — media coverage and all. Not to mention, of course, that students are often the collateral damage of these tensions. (I count myself lucky that the English department here isn't far too enmeshed in the debacle, though that's partly because we've always been horribly underfunded, to begin with, so there's very little cuts that the university can make... ?) I had considered applying there too, but for the same reason, felt it was best not to. The many pieces exposing the dysfunction of their complit department, which arose out of that whole disaster, pretty much put me off the thought of ever studying at nyu. (But then again, I'm not particularly keen on joining a department 'dominated' by Žižek either.) Thanks for your recommendation! I'll definitely check that out!!

yikes. but quite frankly, is it ever possible for one to find a place that is completely devoid of departmental politics? i'm genuinely asking this because it is a concern of mine and some of my friends, especially given the whole avit*l r*nell fiasco that went down in nyu's complit department last year... (whatever it is, however, i'm hoping that my next few years will be relatively politics and drama-free.)

of course... sometimes, reading the author's life into their work has me feeling like: (but then again, that results board update also has me feeling the same...)

how is it that every time i'm not on this site, so much happens???? it's 2am here and now im frantically refreshing my email, even though chicago hardly ever sends out interview invitations till late jan! (i'm genuinely hoping that was a false alarm, though of course, i'm not counting on getting into chicago either). i'm just as envious to hear that he got to attend the lecture on book covers, since that is something that i'm similarly fascinated by. as someone who does judge books by their covers — but only as a credit to the many designers and editors whose hard work is so often ignored — i'm so intrigued by how such frequently overlooked visuals form in readers first impressions that subtly inform the way we read. ugh, the lack of financial support for international students at uk institutions is definitely a concern, but there are certain woolf scholars at oxbridge whom i'd (almost) die to work with, so i'm hoping that some luck on the funding front will come my way. to be honest, because i couldn't fit very much of the latter part of my idea into my assigned word limit (and because i'm wary of over-reading autobiographical elements into texts), there isn't as much of it as i'd like. but yes, let's swap work!

The worst situation's when the departments aren't consistent in their interview requirements from year to year (I'm looking at you, Duke), so you can't even predict if you've been rejected.

Oh yes, I presume your husband has already started at Harvard? Has he had the chance to speak more and work with David Alworth yet? I'm quite interested in his work (though, again, because I've had to put visual culture to the side for a while, it doesn't fit into my primary area of interest, and as a result, I didn't name him as a POI in my application), so it'll be nice to hear from those acquainted with him more about what he's currently working on. Oh dear... I've had barely 24 hours of rest since I submitted my last application, and now the stress returns. To be honest, I am quite tempted to not check my email till late-February, when almost all my decisions will presumably be in, so I can deal with them all at once. But alas, I need my email to keep up with school stuff. The agony!! ?

@sugilite @lyonel_ ohh thank you so much for these recommendations! I can’t wait to check them out!! Also, this seems especially up my alley, seeing as much of my work is concerned with life-writing, not to mention that something that has really piqued my interest lately — but which I haven’t had the chance to explore further — is how author photos, which aren’t necessarily deliberate means of self-creation in visual images (as opposed to what I believe Hertha Wong examines in Picturing Identity?), help perpetuate particular myths of the author and influence the ways that readers encounter their texts. On that note, I think David J Alworth at Harvard works quite extensively within that intersection between texts and visual culture, if that’s something you’re particularly interested in..? I believe that his forthcoming work (Art Novels and The Look of the Book) speak quite well to my above questions, so I’m really looking forward to reading both books.

I should be researching Woolf for my honours thesis, but instead, I'm rereading Ottessa Moshfegh's My Year of Rest and Relaxation (one of my favourite new books of 2018) for a class I'll be taking in the coming semester. I love when contemporary fiction's brought into the classroom, because it hardly feels like work for me then. Oh, have you found anything particularly interesting? It's one of my interests that I've had to brush aside (for now), because everything else demands so much of my time. Hopefully I'll get to return to it someday though. *strokes non-existent beard* wish... fulfilment... hahaha... But I'm on the same boat here. I do have the occasional dream about acceptances, except something always goes wrong to keep me from accepting the offers. I don't know what this means!! (My other dreams are terribly strange — I've recently had one in which I somehow envisioned the March sisters of Little Women plotting to escape murder charges à la Donna Tartt's The Secret History. Also, the entire debacle took place at my secondary school. Curiouser and curiouser...)

Have finally submitted the last of my applications, so now I'm back here, playing the waiting game for real now. (It's so great to see that so much has happened on this thread whilst I was busy hammering out my research proposals for Oxford and Cambridge!) Yes!! I remember encountering that in my class on psychoanalysis quite a while ago, and really being taken by the way she reworks Lacan to, as you say, posit a notion of "finitude" more relevant to, and consistent with discourse today. Also, your writing sample (and your current research) sounds fascinating. I'd love to read it, if you don't mind! My second writing sample for Harvard, because they require two, is a reading of Frankenstein through Kristeva as well. It's nothing groundbreaking, since everyone and their mothers (ha.) have been analysing Frankenstein alongside Powers of Horror for ages. But I try to draw on Shelley's biography, and the correspondences between that and the narratives of Frankenstein and his monster, to read the somewhat autobiographical — I use the term very loosely here — novel as the author's "abject progeny". Again, it's not a particularly novel idea, but I'm counting on my primary writing sample, which is closer to my research interest anyway, for that. I really need to get these in at my university's library, especially the former. Anything that helps me read Lacan with more openness and generosity is always welcome.

that's definitely my complaint with freud and lacan as well, though i'm rather conflicted about how to treat charges of sexism against the both of them, seeing as their theories are very much of their time (especially freud's) — not to mention that there's a particular sense of empathy with women's marginal position that underlies their work. but of course, i do appreciate the later feminist readings and refutations of both theorists, and would happily read kristeva, cixous, and irigaray over freud or lacan any day. (also, it's so strange to think that we, as literature students, probably read and engage with freud's texts much more than psychology students do, given that he's been pretty much reduced to a footnote in many a psychology textbook. i guess the pains he took to insist upon the scientific nature of his methods didn't quite pay off after all... ?) that email was the first thing i read today upon getting out of bed, and it certainly is more effective than coffee at jolting me awake. (on a side note, i can't believe they're trying to sell us their MAPH program already??)

to be honest, i do too. (is it possible to think freud's a bit of a phooey whilst absolutely loving psychoanalytic theory at the same time..?) i'm currently working on my applications to oxford and cambridge (the latter has just been submitted) to take my mind off this immense anxiety, except the process has had me scrolling through thestudentroom (the uk version of collegeconfidential, which also includes a forum for postgrads) and panicking even more. it doesn't help that oxbridge actually does rolling admissions, which means some applicants to other courses have already received their admissions decisions. given that i'm already pulling my hair out over this, i can't imagine how the coming weeks will be like as responses start trickling in... *breathes into paper bag*

I can't really say when I first read A Room of One's Own (it was ages ago), but besides its message, I remember being so taken by Woolf's wit and language that I immediately started looking for, and poring through everything else that she's ever written. Certainly, there's much to admire and discuss in her novels (which explains my honors thesis topic), but it was always her non-fiction — her essays, letters, diaries, memoirs — that charmed me. Her words just brim with such personality that I couldn't help but seek the person behind them, so that led me to Hermione Lee's biography of Woolf (which I, too, fell in love with), and then her other books on life-writing... I guess that, and my general curiosity in the gossipy particulars of writer's lives (especially those of women writers), was what then cumulated in my current research interest in women's life-writing. On a side note, this really cracked me up, because my best friend's a psychologist who can't tolerate any serious mention of Freud, whereas half — if not all — of the work I do now can be traced, in one way or another, to his theories... so she teases me a lot about it.

@jadeisokay this is exactly how I feel!! And even if I do bring out the numbers, it's still hard to imagine what 3-7% of all applicants really entails. I'm not the sort to get other's hopes up until I am certain I can fulfil their expectations, so I've been trying to prepare my parents for the very likely event that I should fail to get into any school, but they seem to think that I'd easily make the top "3-7%". If only they knew how many indeterminable factors play into admissions decisions!! (If only I really knew too!!! But alas...)

Between this thread and the other on books, it seems like half the comments from this year's applicants are just us (virtually) yelling "Lauren Berlant!!" at each other... ? (To be fair, the awe she inspires isn't at all unjustified.) I definitely empathise. At this point, my family's still pretty confused about the funding situation, even though I've attempted, repeatedly, to explain it to them. And their confusion only exacerbates whenever I tell them about the frightfully low acceptance rates for PhD programs, not to mention the even more terrifying job prospects that I'll face after graduating from one. (I don't know where, or how my parents got the impression that being a professor's a glamorous job!! *side-eyes tenured professors, with their cushy incomes and job security*) I suppose I'm lucky to have my wonderful mentors to talk to and keep me sane in this period of time, even though I sometimes feel like they have far too much confidence in my abilities. Perhaps this is just the imposter syndrome talking, but perhaps my worries aren't unfounded — we'll see when the admissions results roll in...

Ah, of course, that's always a concern with the big names... I'm certain you'll be able to find your place in the department, but as to how close a fit it is as compared to the programs you've applied to, I can't quite say since I'm not all too familiar with your areas of interest. Forgive my ignorance, but since I've never actually stepped foot in the states, and have only heard of such safety concerns from others (I'm sure Baudrillard has something to say about this), can I just ask, what is the so-called benchmark for "safety" there? I've lived in, and gotten by quite well on my own in other big cities like London and Paris, but gun safety's always a concern for me wrt to living in the states. (I never know if it is exaggerated in the media, or if things are exactly as they seem — quite horrific, by the looks of it. Also, I don't know if it's something I'll ever be able to get used to...)

Ah, I didn't know you're an international student too! (On that note, how much of a waste of time and money is the TOEFL?? You'd think that having studied ENGLISH literature for about, or at least four years, we'd be sufficiently able to communicate in the language itself... ?) But anyway, it's a wise choice to put off applying in this cycle, I suppose, especially seeing as Harvard's program tends to skew towards being more traditional, still, not to mention that their application fees are rather exorbitant. Nonetheless, if you're thinking of applying in the future, I believe Glenda Carpio and Henry Louis Gates Jr (amongst others) work quite extensively in your areas of interest. And then there's Homi Bhabha, of course... It's currently a toss-up between Columbia and Chicago. On one hand, there's Marianne Hirsch at Columbia; on the other, there's Lauren Berlant at Chicago... How to choose, how to choose — as if one could even be so lucky to be offered that choice in the first place. To be honest, I think I'd be more than happy at all the programs to which I've applied, though Duke does present a slight challenge since I've always been more fond of living in (or at least, close to) a big city. But who knows, I could like North Carolina after all. At this point, all I'd like is an acceptance (just one will do!!), because I don't really have a satisfactory Plan B, except to proceed on to do a masters at my current university. I could go back into journalism or take up a gallery internship, and maybe do some language courses on the side, but I'm just afraid the pause will lead me to stagnate.

Well, the application deadline's not until Jan 2, so you technically still have a couple more days to put together an application, though there, realistically, isn't much time if you don't already have a second writing sample. (But if you do, and if you're able to get hold of your letter writers over the holidays, it is, perhaps, doable..?)