N0rd

Sigaba, it's rather funny that you chose to post that in a thread that has generated some really great replies.

Rather than assuming that the OP didn't read any past posts and then hijacking their thread, maybe you should create your own post where this topic can be discussed.

Also, thanks to juilletmercredi and Cookie Monster and TakeruK, those were really helpful posts!

Do what you can to minimize the temptation to reinvent the wheel.
Do your level best to learn from those who have gone before you and have asked similar questions.
Consider the utility of incorporating your questions into ongoing discussions.
When assessing the guidance you've received, consider the background, the expertise and the experience of the person who offered it.







If I sound snarky it is because this BB is going through a phase in which newer members are repeating questions that have been addressed many, many times. While this trend provides opportunities to get great guidance from experienced graduate students such as jullietmercredi, it also provides opportunities to miss equally sound guidance from experienced graduate students such as jullietmercredi.

IMO, this trend represents a "lost opportunity" for many of you to start the transition from being undergraduates to being graduate students. As graduate students, you will often encounter an implicit expectation that you are doing the leg work to find the answers to your own questions, and from there generating additional questions and answers. (In some quarters, this leg work is called "research".)

Additionally, some of you who are in your twenties may be walking into a buzzsaw as new graduate students. Your cohort is developing a reputation for having attitudes of entitlement and self-absorption. (Consider how members of the generation of 1965 talk about the OWS and Tea Party movements) Regardless of the accuracy of this perception (Christopher Lasch had the same complaints back in 1978), perception is reality.

While it is your choice as to what questions you want to ask and how you want to ask them, do not be surprised if those who are most capable of helping you decide to tune you out. If you think this can't happen to you, ask yourself why you're asking strangers on the internet for guidance rather than going into a professor's office and getting mentored?

My $0.02.

I applied to a mix of top ranked programs and "safety schools" and got into one of each. I decided not to attend the top ranked program for a number of reasons. Primarily the funding I received at the other institution, but also I knew I would be much happier at that institution. It was much closer to friends and family, had a wonderful environment to study in, and I felt like I could see myself being friends with the current students I met. I know there is a great deal of pressure to attend the highest ranked program you can get into (I definitely felt that during my application/decision period) and it's hard when you see so many people on here attending top ranked programs.
I think you've already addressed your own concern though. If you have the option to go to a school in a location you like, with a good advisor fit, and that will make you happy school ranking should not matter. The most important thing is that you're comfortable with your decision, no one wants to spend 5+ (very intense) years at a school they don't like.
Also, take a step back and look at what you've accomplished. You got into a grad program!!! More than one by the sound of it. This is an accomplishment very few people achieve and you should be proud! Not only do you now get to attend grad school but you also now have a choice in where you go.

I applied to a mix of top ranked programs and "safety schools" and got into one of each. I decided not to attend the top ranked program for a number of reasons. Primarily the funding I received at the other institution, but also I knew I would be much happier at that institution. It was much closer to friends and family, had a wonderful environment to study in, and I felt like I could see myself being friends with the current students I met. I know there is a great deal of pressure to attend the highest ranked program you can get into (I definitely felt that during my application/decision period) and it's hard when you see so many people on here attending top ranked programs.
I think you've already addressed your own concern though. If you have the option to go to a school in a location you like, with a good advisor fit, and that will make you happy school ranking should not matter. The most important thing is that you're comfortable with your decision, no one wants to spend 5+ (very intense) years at a school they don't like.
Also, take a step back and look at what you've accomplished. You got into a grad program!!! More than one by the sound of it. This is an accomplishment very few people achieve and you should be proud! Not only do you now get to attend grad school but you also now have a choice in where you go.

I  got my final decision letter today and was finally able to commit to the program I've chosen to attend. Officially a grad student!

I applied to a mix of top ranked programs and "safety schools" and got into one of each. I decided not to attend the top ranked program for a number of reasons. Primarily the funding I received at the other institution, but also I knew I would be much happier at that institution. It was much closer to friends and family, had a wonderful environment to study in, and I felt like I could see myself being friends with the current students I met. I know there is a great deal of pressure to attend the highest ranked program you can get into (I definitely felt that during my application/decision period) and it's hard when you see so many people on here attending top ranked programs.
I think you've already addressed your own concern though. If you have the option to go to a school in a location you like, with a good advisor fit, and that will make you happy school ranking should not matter. The most important thing is that you're comfortable with your decision, no one wants to spend 5+ (very intense) years at a school they don't like.
Also, take a step back and look at what you've accomplished. You got into a grad program!!! More than one by the sound of it. This is an accomplishment very few people achieve and you should be proud! Not only do you now get to attend grad school but you also now have a choice in where you go.

I am not a relationship expert, nor I am in a relationship currently, so I don't feel qualified to give you specific advice on the subject. However, as someone who has gone through the PhD journey, I reckon family support is very important. A tensed environment at home does take a toll on your studies, and it sounds like your conflict with your wife has got into the way of your studies. Have you ever spoken to your wife your feelings and tried to work things out with her? I don't mean those conversations when you are in a heated argument, but an open and honest one when both of you are calm and willing to listen to each other and communicate. It is not a bad idea to go for relationship counselling. Even if you can't afford it, going to your school counsellor can be helpful (and it should be free for students). 
You should also address your snoring, not just for your wife, but for your health. Snoring is often due to sleep apnea. This is a condition in which you don't breathe properly while sleeping and your sleep quality suffers as a result. When you don't rest well, you get irritable and this exacerbates your issues at school and home. Not having quality sleep is bad for your health in the long run. I would suggest that you go to your doctor to get it checked out. It can be treated. 
All the best to you. 

I  got my final decision letter today and was finally able to commit to the program I've chosen to attend. Officially a grad student!

I'm visiting the program I'm planning on attending and all of the current students and faculty are incredibly nice and welcoming.

I  got my final decision letter today and was finally able to commit to the program I've chosen to attend. Officially a grad student!

One of my professors gave me an awesome little precis template to fill out for each title I do for exams. It consists of:
Title, author, publishing info:
Topic:
Main argument:
Subarguments:
-
-
-
Sources and methodologies:
Contributions:
2-3 quotes:
 
She encouraged us to try to keep the precis to just one page (Word document) or two max if the work is particularly long or complex. You can keep them all in a file and print them out to play with (review, group together in different ways, think through) to help you prepare to discuss them in the broad survey--ish kind of way you will need to on your exams.
 
I hope this helps!!

I  got my final decision letter today and was finally able to commit to the program I've chosen to attend. Officially a grad student!

I love my Swissgear laptop backpack! It's a pretty sleek design and it has a professional feel to it. It also has a doctor's bag style hinged opening which makers it really easy to fill with books, notebooks, snacks, etc. I carry all my course materials in it for 10 hour days and have plenty of room. It's a really durable fabric so I think it will hold up well over the years.
I also have a long term shoulder issue (one of my shoulder blades doesn't sit in the right place) and this one doesn't cause me any pain (provided I don't over fill it).

@a.s. I have a lot of apps on my iPhone for looking for apartments:
Trulia Rentals HotPads Zillow Rentals Rent.com Zumper apartment list (Apartments & Houses for Rent) Realtor.com Apartments.com Rentals PadMapper Sometimes schools have a website where they help students find off-campus housing and/or roommates. You will want to find out if your school has that. Good luck!

Glad to know that Penn results have all been finalized. I can stop thinking about it and finally commit to another school!

I personally take my notes with OneNote, it's free and you can create notebook, sub sections and sub sub sections. I have a notebook for each year and one for research. Its super practical because there is a research function that will look through all your noteboks's content. Its super easy to look back at notes you wrote a million years ago when you don't remeber when or how you wrote them. 
Plus side of one note : it syncs accross all your devices and saves everything online. You can also record your lectures through the software and then when you read over your notes, you can playback the part of the lecture recorded as you typed that sentence/paragraph... 
 
For OP, a good way to not get distracted when using a laptop online is to either deactivate wifi during the lecture. or use a website blocker for particular websites

UT Austin admit here! Thoroughly shocked. 

Anyone heard from Penn? I’m thinking acceptances already went out based on the one acceptance posted...

I've got to respectfully disagree with this. I know I sound like a broken record, but however good a scholar Jill Cassid or Leo Costello is, a PhD from UW-Madison or Rice is not the same as one from Harvard/Princeton/Yale/Columbia/IFA/etc when it comes to resources, opportunities, and prestige. Even if the research area is not a perfect match, I'm sure there are profs at all of these schools who would be happy to advise a dissertation on race and slavery in the 18th century; in fact, it's often a good idea not to overlap too exactly with your advisor's research. Beyond that, I think it's perfectly reasonable to set geographic limits for where you get your PhD. Getting a PhD, and a job afterwards, does require a lot of sacrifice, but this is one stage where you actually do have some control. Why live somewhere you don't want to when there are good options where you want to live? If you decide you want to be a professor and have to move somewhere less than desirable for a few years after you get your PhD, why make the sacrifice sooner than you need to?

I've been pretty absent from Grad Cafe for a while butI wanted to share this experience with all of you. One night I was talking with a friend who is also applying to grad school and we were both lamenting how difficult it is to get into a program straight out of undergrad and worrying about anything and everything related to the process. That night I convinced myself that I should just assume that I wasn't going to get in anywhere and build a backup plan from there. Better to be prepared for the worst than devastated at a surprise right? The very next day I got an offer of admission and full funding from a PhD program (which came way earlier than expected).
I know this time can be beyond stressful for so many reasons but in all of the stress and worry don't lose sight of the fact that you are capable of great things.

I've been pretty absent from Grad Cafe for a while butI wanted to share this experience with all of you. One night I was talking with a friend who is also applying to grad school and we were both lamenting how difficult it is to get into a program straight out of undergrad and worrying about anything and everything related to the process. That night I convinced myself that I should just assume that I wasn't going to get in anywhere and build a backup plan from there. Better to be prepared for the worst than devastated at a surprise right? The very next day I got an offer of admission and full funding from a PhD program (which came way earlier than expected).
I know this time can be beyond stressful for so many reasons but in all of the stress and worry don't lose sight of the fact that you are capable of great things.

I think people should stop insulting programs that they get rejected from, or get in to. If you get rejected and dis the school, it just comes off as desperate and immature. Even something like "accepted, waiting to hear back from better programs" come off as elitist, and can make someone feel like shit if that was their reach school. This might come off as overly sensitive, but the insecurity of grad school applicants is already sky high.

I didn’t apply to Yale, but I see their rejections came rolling in today. Dang Yale... y’all really gotta do that on Valentine’s Day? ?

I created an account just to respond to this topic, after reading the first 15 pages and enjoying not only the thoughtful responses, but the evolution in recommendations alongside tech. I am chiming in with what works for me. I was a non-trad undergrad and begin graduate work in a Humanities program (literature concentration; apparently I want to be poor forever) this coming fall. The ink is barely dry on last semester's final papers, and I'm already nerding out hard about school supplies.
When I was first giving college a try (mumble) years ago, I just used any old crap, as long as it was cheap. Now that I'm older, and have wasted about a Brazilian dollars replacing cheap junk, I believe in "Buy once, cry once." After much trial and error, this is what worked for me as an undergrad, and what didn't.
Osprey Celeste Backpack -- Amazon reviews made me choose this over North Face. For one, it's lighter. For two, it was much cheaper. I paid about $60 for it. I got a year-old model on Amazon for extra savings. It's perfect in every way. Has a pocket for everything, carries a bunch of stuff (I think 29 L?) but is compact in size. Also came in Candy Orange. (Orange makes me happy. It's the little things.) Super durable, looks and behaves good as new after two semesters of hard use.
Moleskine Cahier Journals -- Spirals are the worst. By the end of a semester they come apart on me.  I get the new XXL size cahier, which is about notebook paper size, and after my brother's Barnes and Noble employee 30% discount and including tax, I pay a little over $5 a piece for them. One notebook holds an entire semester's worth of notes for 15 hours worth of classes, two semesters in a row. Plus my husband, who has some artistic ability, has fun decorating the plain kraft brown cover for me. I love how smooth and fine the paper is, and how narrow the lines. I also use a smaller Moleskine journal for notes on each major paper I'm writing. (Little bit of trivia: I had to call Moleskine customer service once, and inadvertently found out how they pronounce the name: mole-uh-SKEE-nuh. Who knew?!)
Moleskine Planner -- I got the 18 month weekly academic planner. It's my bible. I have used it for two semesters, and will use it this summer and in the fall, at which point I will probably switch to a 12-month daily. It's been great, but I think having a full page for each day will be even better. I got the Peanuts edition because Snoopy makes me happy and, again, it's the little things.
Stabilo colored pens -- My husband had a set of these that lasted 20 years. I found them in the garage, necromanced them, and used them for a semester, when they started to finally dry out, so I got another set. I use them to color code my planner. Each semester I assign a color to each course so when I write in my planner I know which class the item is for at a glance. I use that same color to head and date note pages in my Moleskine. There are enough colors that I don't have to reuse the same color two semesters in a row, so I don't get confused. They also come in a durable, attractive little striped plastic case.
Stabilo Boss highlighters -- I wouldn't believe Amazon reviews that these last 10+ years if I hadn't experienced Stabilo pens. These highlighters are smooth, vibrant, and perfect. After a semester of heavy use, still going strong.
Columbia Regretless rain jacket -- These are $100 or so retail but I found one for $20 on Amazon. It lives, rolled up, in the bottom of my backpack. Super light, so I forget it's there until I need it. This has saved me a million times over on my half-mile treks to/from the parking lot. Much better than an umbrella. It zips up all the way up to your nose and the hood tightens down with a drawstring and has a little visor over your face. I stay bone dry from the hips up in this thing.
Skechers waterproof work boots -- These look like ugly-adorable hiking boots but are actually mens workboots. If it rains, even though these aren't my favorite shoes fashion-wise, I wear these and they never fail me.
Teva sandals -- Or anything comfortable. Essential in Texas where it's hot 9 months out of the year.
Contigo 20 oz. Autoseal tumbler -- I just lost this the other day after a year of hard use and almost cried. It has never ever leaked, it's easy to clean, and it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold for hours. You need a bottle brush to clean the inside thoroughly.
Trader Joe Spiced Chai tea -- I gave up coffee in January b/c my OBGYN said it can mess with hormones. I didn't die. Instead I drink tea now and this is my fave. Other chai tastes like medicine. This is $2.50 a box for 20 tea bags. Add a dash of heavy cream, stays hot for hours in my Contigo.
Brown Betty tea pot -- If you're a tea drinker, this original ceramic pot handmade in England is not expensive and makes the best pot of tea ever. Might still be available on Amazon.
Google Drive -- I am ashamed to say I only discovered Google docs and Google Drive this semester and I don't know how I lived without them. My kindle Fire has trouble with it but I edit on my iPhone. I love being able to hop on a computer in the school library and pull up all my work without lugging a laptop around.
Google Docs -- Why would I ever pay for MS Office again?
Kindle books -- Have saved me a lot of money, plus you only have to remember one item. I think my kindle might be dying, though, so I may be going back to paper for a while. It can be a pain when page numbers don't sync up with the prof's edition, but I love being able to search the entire book rather than flip through page after page. Really helps when writing papers.
Bic Atlantis pens -- Smooth, bold line without being too bulky. (The Bic Velocity was too thick and messy.) Inexpensive. I may switch to Pilot G2 though.
Avery Six-Pocket Organizer -- This is basically 3 folders in one with six transparent pockets. I used to carry a big binder with a divider for each course but it was bulky. Now I carry this to keep syllabi for each class (all instantly visible in the transparent pockets) and stick handouts behind them. Very slim, light. My notes stay in my Moleskine. I often need to print out journal articles, so I keep a separate slim binder for each individual research paper, and only bring it with me when I need it.
Lap desk - Really handy if you use a wireless mouse with your laptop.
Netflix/Hulu/Amazon Prime -- Essential.
Amazon Prime for Students -- A discount on Amazon Prime. Check it out.
Evernote -- I've been paying the $6/month for premium but I may stop. For a semester I religiously scanned and uploaded every page of notes, but I didn't use the digital versions enough to make it worth it. This semester I stopped using it almost altogether, and didn't miss it. I use Google Docs way more now.
External wireless mouse and keyboard -- Makes using a laptop more flexible and comfortable
Bluetooth keyboard -- Works great with my kindle. Wouldn't use it for big jobs like writing papers, but for my Digital Humanities course where we needed to bring a machine, it was more convenient than lugging my craptop.
Noise-cancelling earbuds - I found some good ones on Amazon for $9.99. Now I can go to the Pub on campus for lunch and barely register the terrible pop music.
Friends -- I have two "school BFFs." We have basically nothing in common outside of school but we don't need it. We have our suffering to unite us. Find buddies and support each other. It helps.
Things I plan to acquire:
Lenovo Thinkpad - I need to replace my old craptop and my brother, who teaches computer programming, recommended this. A lot of his students use it.
WD 1TB external hard drive -- I will probably use this when I start my TA-ship next year. For now Google Drive is fine.
Dry erase board with markers -- My husband uses this at work and wants us to get one, put a week's worth of more detailed planning on it alongside our regular monthly calendar.
Avery Multiuse Ultratabs -- I will probably get these for my Moleskine daily planner because it doesn't have tabs and I like to be able to see the months at a glance.
Moleskine Chapters Journal -- I'm considering doing a bullet journal type thing so I can organize non-academic aspects of my life, which for a while have been woefully underrepresented. This has several sections and a table of contents page, so you can have sections for finances, household, fitness, medical, etc.
Brother laser printer -- We have a Canon MG 5200 Inkjet with a scanner and copier that prints color. Ink is EXPENSIVE. I can get a monochrome Brother that duplex prints for $79 refurbished on Amazon, and I think it will save a lot of money. We'll keep the Canon for fancier jobs.
Chacos sandals -- These are a sorority girl staple but they're popular for a reason. Waterproof, adjustable straps, last forever, lifetime guarantee with free repairs. Worth the hundred bucks, especially in this climate where it's hot but it flash-floods often.
Believe it or not, I could add more, but this is long enough. I hope it helps someone.
Kristen

I love my Swiss Gear laptop backpack! If you're okay with a backpack vs a handbag this is definitely the one I'd recommend. I have it in gray so it's a neutral professional color and the design is pretty sleek so it doesn't look like a bag highschoolers carry. It has a doctor bag style hinged opening which makes it very easy to fill with textbooks, a change of clothes, or anything else. I know three other people who have the same bag and we all love it!