Teaching Faculty Wannabe

Holy shit. Thanks, university.
All I can say is try to get as many eyes (of anyone who can say something sensible) on your thesis as possible. You can do this!!!!!! And feel free to PM if you need some cheers or some venting. 

Some people just suck.

Yeah I agree with this as well. My undergrad was a relatively small unknown college and my PI there said that grad students from our department had gotten academia positions; they just had to work extremely hard for them. 

Agreed.
Also, I don't think this should be a deterrent for the OP to not apply to professorships in the future. Networking is also really important in my mind. Ranking is important, but that's because we view it as important. I think the person's abilities of conducting research and/or teaching a class should be more important than the rank of the school they went to. The school could have a bad-ish rank, but that doesn't meant that the skills they learned in schools aren't good, especially in grad school because what you learn during that time is dependent on various things, such as your PI, conferences you attend, groups, organizations, and societies you join, how well you write research articles/grants/proposals, etc. Sometimes those things are dependent on the program and other things are dependent on the student and their PI. I believe ranking shouldn't be so heavily used in determining if you would be a good professor or not. Just my opinion.

I am so sorry. I totally understand this. When I graduated last May, I was upset for about six months. I still get a bit upset when I think about it. I considered my undergrad university a home. I made some many good and close friends, and had established myself there. I am used to moving, so I didn't think it would be as hard as it was. I was happy when finals were over, but the day after I took my last final and started packing up my apartment, it all kind of hit me. I cried A LOT. It actually is very common for college students to become depressed for a span of time after graduating because they miss the close community that they developed at school. At least for us, we get to go back to the college environment, just in a different way.
One thing that I try to remember is that I at least can visit my old college and visit my old friends. It may not be as often as I would like and it won't feel the same as when I was a student, but just this even little bit of information reassures me.

Hey there! I've also been searching for places to stay! I first used Craigslist and found that there weren't many choices! I then went on the UConn Off-Campus Housing listing. You just need to sign in with your NetID (Which should be given to you when you were accepted) Just follow a list of steps to get your NETID then you should be able to login into Off-Campus Housing LIsting. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to get my other ID (I think is the email) where it's needed to login into On-Campus Housing Listing. However, I found a few good and affordable room prices around UConn Storrs from the Off-Campus listing~! 
 
Good luck! 

Thank you very much, @IceCream & MatSci !  Many congratulations to you on your GEM Fellowship, the $ummer intern$hip, and admission to a terrific BME program!!
Thanks @ray92 ! Do you happen to know if the transcripts would be okay even if the degree hasn't been conferred?

This is very true. I just like the idea of my picture being on there because I can be like, "Ooo, look, I did a thing!"

It was in February, but I am sure you can still give it to them. Email them to see. Congrats on getting the NSF GRFP and the GEM Associate!

Also, having multiple planners is useful. I have a physical planner where I write everything down, then I have a digital planners. I use google calendar for events going at school or just in my life. I use the iStudiez Pro app for my school work, such as assignments, classes, and exams. I think I will use this for my TA position and maybe RA as well. I then have this physical notepad where each page has the seven days of the week where I can write out what I need to do for that week.
It sounds chaotic, but you gotta do what you need to in order to stay organized and have everything planned out.

As long as you go somewhere that supports you academically, financially, healthy-wise, and professionally, I don't think the rank matters. I am also not going to a top-ranked school, but it was the top one on my list, so I am happy :).

That's a good one. I don't know about dating while doing a PhD because I am about to enter a PhD myself, but I do know dating while doing undergrad. From what I got from my experience, it was hard to find the balance between my social life, my studies, my health, and my boyfriend (ex now :/). My boyfriend and my social life were combined sometimes, but we also had to figure out when we could spend time with just the two of us. I will say that it also being my first relationship was overwhelming because I overthought a lot, I tried to spend as much time with him as I could (I actually spent too much time with him and eventually stopped hanging out with my friends, which is a big fat no-no), and in the end figured out that he was very toxic for me.
So, my advice to you is this:
1. If your first relationship will be in grad school, don't get swept up in it.  It is really easy to do, especially if it's your first one. There will be a honeymoon phase where you can't get enough of each other, but you have to remember that you have other things and other people in your life. Don't neglect your schoolwork nor the other relationships you have in your life.
2. Set boundaries with your significant others. Set up times weekly when you will get to see other, like a movie or date night. Don't spend every waking hour with them when you aren't in the lab or class. Of course, spend time with them, but this connects to number 1.
3. Make sure you have similar priorities. Is your partner also super focused on school? Are they okay with not seeing you in person everyday? Is your relationship causal or serious? Do they want it to become serious at some point? Are they okay with moving for a job or do they want to stay put? Etc. You don't have to talk about these things on your first date, but when things start getting serious, talking about these early on could save major heartbreak later.
4. Try not to date another grad student in your department. I have never technically never done this. I had a short fling with someone in the same graduating class and same department my senior year, and it wasn't fun when things ended. We still talked, but it did suck seeming them around. I have also gotten advice about this from other people, so I guess it's a common thing. I say TRY instead of DON'T because life happens. You can't really control who you develop a crush on.
5. Be there for each other, but don't become too dependent on them. This may sound weird because you do want to rely on your partner. However, don't become co-dependent. This will end up badly for the both of you.
6. You will probably get your heart broken during this process. I have dated two people already, and it was hard when they each came to an end. You can learn a lot from these experiences, and you want to use this knowledge to become a better partner and person. However, after break-ups or just even flings ending, it can be hard to do schoolwork and focus on things you need to get done.
I think, though, if you have a healthy relationship, each of you have talked about your goals (academic, professional, romantic, and personal), and have a general idea of when you will get to see each other while also having a life outside of your relationship, balancing a relationship with a PhD won't be extremely difficult. Sometimes it will be hard to find time to be with them, but if they are understanding about it, then I would think it would be okay.
I hope this helps!

Hey everyone!
I wanted to start a forum where people can ask questions about various topics related to adulthood, especially for those that didn't have to worry about it much until now.  So, feel free to ask questions about:
Health care and health insurance Budgeting Having a pet Owning a car Renting and renter's insurance Finding an apartment How to files taxes Having children Moving and its costs Vacationing And else you can think of FYI, I am nowhere near an expert. I created this to get a discussion going.

I am so sorry to hear about your family members. I can only imagine what you and your family are going through, and I hope your father's recovery goes smoothy.
I do know what it is like to live far away from family, even when they are sick. It's not great feeling because you want to be there with them. However, you shouldn't punish yourself for choosing a place further away from them.
Also, you are not alone in questioning your choice of grad school. I still question my choice to this day. I would say give the school you chose a year or so to see if you really like it. It seems like you are currently in a position full of nerves to point where you are questioning everything, especially with everything going on with your family. You seemed to have chosen that place for a reason, right? So, I don't think you should give up on it so quickly.
When it comes to your family, you might not get to be there in person with as much as you want, but there are still ways to contact them.

I've had social anxiety since I was a teenager, so getting through my undergrad was definitely a challenge but I also think I've grown a lot and I feel more confident about handling it in grad school.
1) When someone points out that I'm being quiet I try to say something like 'I'm enjoying listening to everyone' or 'It helps me think'. Something I sometimes try to do is comment and synthesize what I've been hearing from other people saying so they know I'm actually engaged. In general this has been less of an issue for me over time though, I'm also a very direct person and don't tend to hold back my true opinion especially in groups/conversations where I'm more comfortable so I think I've found a pretty good balance.
2) Unfortunately I've found that academia is not very accommodating of introverts or people with social anxiety (profs would often say essentially I had to 'just get over it' if I ever wanted a job - ironically bad advice coming from psychology profs IMO). Introversion and reflection were not really rewarded for most of my undergrad. Presenting and public speaking I think gets easier over time and with practice. I volunteered with a campus women's centre where I would present workshops or discussions with smaller groups of students and I found that really helped me become more comfortable with talking to people and develop a more conversational style of presenting that feels much more natural and makes me less anxious. Really knowing your material will help with your confidence too; I've felt a lot less jitters presenting about my research because I'm so familiar with and care about the topic (I've actually won awards presenting which I never would have imagined when I started!) Knowing the topic also helps me speak more conversationally about it which I find helps me to avoid getting stuck compared to speaking to a very formal script.
I still have problems with my anxiety sometimes though, especially with all the challenges and new experiences that come with grad school. But you're obviously very capable and resilient to have made it so far, and I hope that you can find an environment where you can communicate your love of research in a way that is comfortable for you and becomes fun to do!

Alcohol. Lots of alcohol...
Just kidding! Haha! Don't do that!
I am a Ph.D student, going into my fifth year, and I am very quiet and self-contained. I barely even spoke to my family until I was almost 20. People don't point out that I'm quiet much anymore, but they used to do so all the time. I would just smile, because its true, and I don't think it is a bad thing, most of the time.
My heart still races when I raise my hand in workshops. It's been four years, you would think I'd get over it by now, but I haven't. One thing that has helped is that my dissertation chair also has introvert tendencies. He also doesn't speak up in workshops often. I was in his presentation at a major conference once and he barely looked up from the floor the entire time and his arms were crossed the whole time. But he has coauthors who he works with and he is very well respected in the community.  So I know if he can do it, I can do it too.
As for conferences and other situations when you need to interact with people, the key to being interesting is to be interested. I am a great listener. I do go up and introduce myself to people, and then I mostly listen to them talk, with a few interjections so they know I'm interested in what they are saying. And I almost always have people to talk/listen to because of it.

Overall, give yourself a break. Try not to worry as much about sounding stupid or looking goofy. And realize that you aren't perfect, but no one expects you to be. But don't give up on trying to better yourself. It isn't a paradox to love yourself for who you are while also realizing that you have areas you can improve on in your life. And there are very few jobs that don't require communication with other people, so it is important to try to do as well as you can at it.

Top programs can still suck, just saying.

@IceCream & MatSci Also you can still receive the fellowship without a picture lol

You're welcome! My sister actually commutes from my house to Hartford (she works at an accounting firm) and she says it's really not that bad. She says on an average day with no accidents, it takes maybe about an extra 15 minutes with the traffic. We live about 45 minutes away so this puts her at just over an hour for her commute. I think it really depends on your comfort level with driving in congested areas, but it's nowhere near as horrid as dc conditions, haha. 

Gold piece of advice ❤️ also, I cannot second enough what @bloomeighty said about financial independence! Very true!
It's hard when we're used to a place/a situation/people and then life changes and we just have to move on. I'm quite older than you guys (graduated in December 2013) and at the time I think all of us were so tired of school and so eager to "start living" that we didn't feel emotional at all. I think it's more of a cultural thing but here in my country engineering students seem to graduate never wanting to look back haha cursing everyone and everything related to their undergrad experience. I didn't see it that way... I had a great undergrad experience, which gave me my best friend, a 4-year relationship (which ended, but yeah that's another story rs) and great memories...
Unfortunately... people move on and it's hard to keep in touch =( we start by meeting once a month, then once every two months, then at birthdays... and then the inevitable happens: meetings at weddings and baby showers! haha your old group of friends is now in their early 30s!! 
But you know what? That's the beauty of it! I mean... I met my best friend at my very first day in college, 10 years ago. And she's still my best friend. We talk about other things now, but sometimes we just sit and remember classes, teachers, people from college, search their profiles on FB HAHA and it's so much fun.
The good ones, the true ones? They'll stay. ❤️ As the time passes by you realize you have less people around, but the ones you have are the real ones! And it'll be a blast for all of you to share all of the milestones of your lives: first job, first salary, first apartment, first marriage and so goes on. 

That's awesome. I love tattoos so much, and I am definitely due for another

Thanks for sharing that. Fortunately my grad institution isn't too far from my undergrad, but it's far enough to make returning regularly a bit difficult.
It's hard because my undergraduate community and city as a whole is the first place I've ever felt "home" in my entire life. To the point where I'm kind of considering getting a tattoo related to it, as cheesy as that sounds.
I have heard that post-college depression is more common than people think. I hope that graduate school will distract me from that. Not that I would be using it as a crutch, but being in an exciting new community should help.

Congratulations! So glad it's worked out for you, and it sounds like they want you there for sure.

I am so sorry. I totally understand this. When I graduated last May, I was upset for about six months. I still get a bit upset when I think about it. I considered my undergrad university a home. I made some many good and close friends, and had established myself there. I am used to moving, so I didn't think it would be as hard as it was. I was happy when finals were over, but the day after I took my last final and started packing up my apartment, it all kind of hit me. I cried A LOT. It actually is very common for college students to become depressed for a span of time after graduating because they miss the close community that they developed at school. At least for us, we get to go back to the college environment, just in a different way.
One thing that I try to remember is that I at least can visit my old college and visit my old friends. It may not be as often as I would like and it won't feel the same as when I was a student, but just this even little bit of information reassures me.

Thank you very much! I'm honestly glad that I am moving forward! I have not been in a right place before the acceptance! Congratulation on your WashU BME as well! I wish you all the best and everyone here!