tinymica

@merry night wanderer Agreed, one day at a time! Sorry, I tend to catastrophize and worry about everything. I know it’s too early to call it, but I can’t help thinking about the worst case scenario. I’m also really excited about being in the classroom! Partly because I don’t do well with online learning, partly because it’s really important to me to create bonds with peers and it just won’t be likely if we’re still under lockdown this fall. We can only hope that the measures we’re taking will be effective enough to keep things under control. I would feel much better about intermittent periods of staying in; I’d probably lose my mind if it were a whole term. I don’t even know if I’d be able to defer. I don’t want to have to do that... I just know that, if I weren’t allowed to, I couldn’t take the stress of re-applying. We have to hold on to whatever positive feelings and excitement that we can. What classes have you chosen? Tell us!

So now that I don't have to worry about waiting for news/making choices, my brain has moved on to its next fixation: possibly starting school in quarantine. I know it's too soon to know whether it'll happen and it's useless to worry, but it's tough! Anyone else dealing with this?

Thank you! I'm so excited!

I’ve accepted my offer at UW and declined mine at BU. Hope this helps someone who wants BU more than I do!

Never mind! Happy to say that I've finally made my choice and I'll be attending UW this fall

As someone struggling with very similar factors in their own decision, I don't think it would be dumb to turn down more funding based on the perks you mentioned. I have to agree with @merry night wanderer in that location is very important; it can shape much of your living experience outside your work and it's where you'll be for a good long while! I do want to say though that you must be sure that you can still survive on the funding offered by Program B. If you can, then it seems like it would be worth it. What is it about Program B's location that you wouldn't like, if you don't mind my asking? Personally I'm shying away from a cross-country move and weather that would be extreme by CA standards. (Since I think that would greatly affect me, these are factors I'm prioritizing.)

@meghan_sparkle Thank you so much for your thoughts. I really do appreciate it and I'll be thinking about your very good questions (probably obsessively)!

Hello! I won't be attending UCR this fall but I got my BA there last year. Since I lived there for 4 years, I may be able to help answer questions about housing! Feel free to contact me

I've been vacillating between my two choices over and over and over again. They're both excellent programs with vibrant, collaborative communities and I know I can't make a "wrong" decision but I keep getting stuck on some things. I think the fact is that I don't want to move cross-country, but I feel like I should for the sake of a (possibly) less stressful teaching experience and a bit more funding. So I feel like I shouldn't say no to that, but I can't push myself to pick that place because I'd have give up some personal comforts that I think would be important to have. (Including the part where I....don't think I want to live there.) But then when I lean the other way, to a place closer to home and with weather I'd more easily adapt to, I feel put-off by the detriments of that program (no summer funding, immediate teaching). Basically I can't budge and I'm losing sleep every night and everyone is waiting for me to make a decision including me

I feel your pain ? I think pro/con charts are definitely the way to go! I personally have a spreadsheet that desperately needs filling out. Best of luck to you (and everyone else) during this stressful time!

I can't sleep thinking about my choices! I'd like to be on the same coast as my family, but I have to sacrifice some things I want to do that. If I went the other way, I'd get those things but I'd have to give up being closer to family and also my relationship. Shit's tough

It's been obvious to everyone I've spoken to that I know what I want to do/where I want to go. But there's something about the finality of committing to a program and closing the door on another that is very scary for some reason. "What if" is a very annoying question that my brain obsesses over.

I was JUST about to reply before your edit but I still want to share something that has helped me. For anyone else who is worrying about this: It is incredibly daunting to choose a place to live for the next 5+ years blindly. I have to remind myself it's normal to be upset and disappointed by that, even though I am very privileged to worry about that and not about a roof over my head or about going to work and getting sick. I think it's good to think of all your choices as great choices! There's no such thing as the "right" or "wrong" choice and I think there are undesirable aspects about every program. I totally understand being terrified that I'll make my choice and regret it very badly, but we're adaptable. We'll be able to figure it out. That being said, I think it's important to consider whether any program you're considering has the resources to help you adapt or cope with those undesirable things. That support is super important!

Okay, that's what I thought! I should have mentioned that I realize things vary from program to program. Every department is like its own little country with its own laws and culture lol! I was just questioning myself. Thank you!

Ahh just got an email from UW's lovely DGS reminding me about the upcoming deadline like I don't wake up every morning with "April 15th" tattooed on my eyelids. I haven't forgotten about you, UW! I honestly feel like Bella from Twilight. (Yes, I watched Twilight recently and it was hilarious. Excellent quarantine entertainment.)

This may be a stupid question and I should have asked many months ago, but how does cross-disciplinary study work within programs? I feel like my understanding of this has gaps.

Just got off a zoom meeting with BU grad students and they were really cool and BU seems really cool and I don’t know what to do with my life!!!!

Zoom meetings of 80+ people are extremely chaotic and I am stressed

Partyyyyy! Who's bringing the chips? (Good luck making your decision btw!)

Just got that UVA rejection. I have mixed feelings, but to be honest the most telling moment for me this entire cycle is that when I got the "check your portal" email, I thought "Noooooooo!" And I wasn't thinking about rejection, I was thinking about acceptance. So...I didn't really want to go there in the first place, although it's an amazing program and by all accounts a wonderful place to be. I'm okay with this

I'm in a similar situation. Both of my visits were moved to Zoom formats rather last-minute. Virtual visits pale in comparison to in-person visits, but I'm trying to work with what I can. Thankfully, one program is organizing a virtual social event where accepted students get the chance to mingle with potential cohort members and graduate students. Other than that, I've tried to glean the "vibe" of each place through my remote conversations. A lot of it relies on how honest graduate students have been with me; they haven't held back in terms of relating the benefits and detriments of their respective programs and that input has been really useful for me. I'm also especially worried about being unable to see the city I'm going to live in for the next 5ish years. Again, I've asked graduate students about their experiences, especially those who come from my area. Other than that, I've watched many a virtual tour of cities and campuses on YouTube, but nothing can replace the in-person visit in this respect. The reality is a blind choice for many of us. Re: the strike... I think it's crucial to pay attention to how the administration at this particular school is handling negotiations with current students. Their behavior now tells you how they'll treat you if you choose to go there. I personally withdrew my name from the waitlist at UC Davis because the current situation within the UC system confirms what I've heard about their treatment of students. (For context, I did my undergrad at a UC.) It may not be a dealbreaker for you, but I think you should include your program's behavior in your evaluation of them. Best of luck to you in your decision-making process!

I would be just as mad if I were you! That's...really unacceptable and it's a mark against them in my book. The way a program treats waitlisted and rejected applicants is just as important as the way they treat accepted applicants, imo.

They STILL haven’t said anything? I know this sounds obnoxiously Californian but I have to say this: Dude, not cool.

Just got off a zoom meeting with BU’s DGS and DGA. They seem like a rockin’ bunch and now I’m even more unsure than before! I keep vacillating between the pros and cons of each place. Time to update my extensive and mildly obsessive spreadsheet...

Thank you so much for your reply! I wanted some outside perspectives, but it's definitely important to get the insider knowledge (if they're willing to offer it). I was just planning to be direct about it and ask them if they feel supported by the university, what their opinion on this council is, etc. Is that awkward? Should I ask in a different way?