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teasel

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  1. Like
    teasel got a reaction from MDP in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Saaaame haha.
    Also, I am definitely freaking out. I'm realizing that while I'll be pretty devastated if I don't get into a program, that the root of the issue is that I hate my job and was really hoping to move someplace new with a clear and defined purpose. 
  2. Like
    teasel got a reaction from MDP in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    @fishfish24 I'm also about to reach jungle status--starting some seeds for my Spring garden this week! Also might start seeds for my summer garden but I have no idea if I'm getting off these waitlists. If I don't get in this year you better believe I'm going ALL OUT on my garden lmao. I had fungus gnats one year and the best thing you can do to prevent is to mix boiling water with your seed starting/potting soil mix to kill any eggs. I also second the neem oil suggestion ❤️ 
     
    Really sorry for those that are hurting today. I've reached a weird place where I'm finally accepting that I have no control over this outcome beyond the work I've put into my applications. Knowing and accepting are two different things apparently, haha. It hurts to be told "no" when you're hoping for a "yes." No one is disputing that the odds are terrible, that many of us might not be ready for an MFA yet (tho that's certainly not a random internet stranger's place to discern, myself included). But that also doesn't change the fact that if you want this badly enough, you will keep writing. You may apply again, or you may choose to form your own writing community. Maybe you realize a business built on competition and rejection is not something that makes you happy and you go a different direction--none of this is bad. I actually know two people who dropped out of MFA programs because it was making them miserable.  Both of them still write and publish. I'm not saying it's going to work out for all of us, I'm just saying that there are many paths to happiness and I feel sorry for those who become bitter and contrarian in an effort to disguise their low self esteem. Let's all take a breather and remind ourselves why we started reading & writing poetry/prose/essays to begin with. Is it to feed your ego and sense of "greatness" or is it because it nourishes you somehow? What has this process taught you, for better or for worse? Personally it's taught me that I might have ADHD lol. It's also taught me that what I really want is to be a part of something greater than myself in terms of a solid writing community. It would be great if that happened in the form of an MFA, but maybe it means being more proactive in my current community or moving to a different city in search of more opportunities. Anyway, this is a long ramble-y way of saying that I have really appreciated everyone who has participated in this thread.  
  3. Like
    teasel got a reaction from MDP in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Yeah I totally hear ya... going absolutely nuts over here, too. I'm a professional reader and have been avoiding the cards for the time being for my own sanity. Once you start over-drawing, it ceases to have much meaning and just feeds anxiety : ) But it doesn't stop me from drawing a card here and there.
    I think lots of folks are treating individual cards as "yes" or "no" response or even "bad" vs. "good," but this is a pretty shallow way of interpreting. Instead of asking them "will I get into xyz," it would probably be more helpful to ask a question like "what will my writing life look like in 2021" . It's all about the question you ask... they are powerful for self-development, but once we treat them like a magic eight ball they really just become an extension of our uncertainty.  If you feel like sharing the cards you received or want a mini reading (no charge, just for fun) let me know! Might be a fun way to kill some time 
  4. Like
    teasel got a reaction from Salaam O in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Hmm.. I could see how this could be easy to read into but I think he's politely telling you that if you didn't receive an email that you are not on the first tranche of the wait list. You might still be on it, but they are actively figuring that out. I'm pretty sure he's just telling you to wait it out until the end of next week before inquiring about your status again.  Sorry, I know that's not the answer you want!! 
    *also adding that I didn't apply to SIUC. Hope someone else might have more insight for you! Hang in there
  5. Like
    teasel reacted to dr. t in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Just think of it as a performance art piece.
    Also, if you don't quote or reply but just report, I can delete the posts without messing up the thread for future readers.
  6. Like
    teasel reacted to Salaam O in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    hi friends! I'm not sure if anyone would have an answer to this, but I contacted SIUC since I hadn't heard from them at all inquiring about when I'll likely hear from them, and I received this email back. I didn't mention anything about a waitlist, and I hadn't gotten anything regarding a waitlist before. I was confused as to why it was the only thing he seemed to talk about in response to my email. Err, help decipher it? Does he just mean he'll be in contact about my results in general in the next coming week, or am I maybe on the waitlist orrr? I didn't wanna sound too bothersome and was unsure whether or not to follow up, which I may end up doing, or maybe just wait till next week to see what happens. 

  7. Like
    teasel reacted to feralgrad in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    @itsalwayssunnyinjackieI was in basically the same position as you my first year of apps. Was thinking of accepting a partially-funded offer for a city I loved. I crunched the numbers, and it would have been $40-50k of debt. When I calculated the loan repayments, it was a couple hundred dollars a month -- not something I was comfortable taking on as a """creative""" in this job market. The difference between you and I is that I had zero fully-funded offers (hence the second app cycle). Forunately, I snagged a fully-funded offer at a program I love last year.
    As a DC native, I'm sorry to say that it's expensive as hell. Last year I paid $1k a month for a /literally/ rat-infested studio -- and that was cheap for the neighborhood (a great one, also middle-of-the-road in terms of cost).
    Moreover, the job market in DC is healthy (and pretty recession-proof), but it's hard for an entry-level applicant. I say this from experience. You can certainly get a job, but finding one that will pay you a fair wage relative to the cost of living is a challenge. It's doable if your expenses are low, but if you're on the hook for loan repayments, it becomes much more complicated.
    Sorry to be a debbie downer. I'm saying this cos I hate to see anyone get screwed over by MFA programs with their heads in the sand re: our economic reality. Ultimately it's your choice, but I'll leave you with this, since it was the "tie-breaker" in my decision process: the country is a damn mess right now, and it will be a while before it sorts itself out. It behooves you to be defensive about your finances.
  8. Like
    teasel reacted to itsalwayssunnyinjackie in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Thank you!! It'd probably be around ~40k debt (which I hope isn't too crazy, as I currently have none) and then high living expenses on top of that. I'll definitely start planning out with loan calculators (parents didn't go to school, figuring this out on my own) and see what they offer with work. Currently in touch with students who have been so kind and amazing and they seem very happy with the program. If they find it appropriate, I'll start to ask on the financial stress of the cost and if see I can handle it. Thank you so much for your response (the dream is still alive!) ❤️ 
  9. Like
    teasel got a reaction from Graceful Entropy in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I'm pretty sure I'll be accepting my offer from UVA!!! I've been hesitate to talk about it because things feel up in the air still in some ways. The faculty are so insanely talented and the faculty member I spoke to was very kind and happy to answer my questions. Honestly feel like this is the best fit for me. At this point I'm taking myself off a few waitlists, but I'm still waiting to hear back about my waitlist to University of Michigan, mostly because the funding is so great but also because I miss living near my family in the midwest. If I was fortunate enough to get accepted off the waitlist, I would at least consider it. I think what makes me anxious about UVA is the fact that I've never lived in the south east part of the US! But I think it would be pretty exciting, too. 
  10. Like
    teasel got a reaction from arden in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I'm pretty sure I'll be accepting my offer from UVA!!! I've been hesitate to talk about it because things feel up in the air still in some ways. The faculty are so insanely talented and the faculty member I spoke to was very kind and happy to answer my questions. Honestly feel like this is the best fit for me. At this point I'm taking myself off a few waitlists, but I'm still waiting to hear back about my waitlist to University of Michigan, mostly because the funding is so great but also because I miss living near my family in the midwest. If I was fortunate enough to get accepted off the waitlist, I would at least consider it. I think what makes me anxious about UVA is the fact that I've never lived in the south east part of the US! But I think it would be pretty exciting, too. 
  11. Like
    teasel got a reaction from Ydrl in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I'm pretty sure I'll be accepting my offer from UVA!!! I've been hesitate to talk about it because things feel up in the air still in some ways. The faculty are so insanely talented and the faculty member I spoke to was very kind and happy to answer my questions. Honestly feel like this is the best fit for me. At this point I'm taking myself off a few waitlists, but I'm still waiting to hear back about my waitlist to University of Michigan, mostly because the funding is so great but also because I miss living near my family in the midwest. If I was fortunate enough to get accepted off the waitlist, I would at least consider it. I think what makes me anxious about UVA is the fact that I've never lived in the south east part of the US! But I think it would be pretty exciting, too. 
  12. Like
    teasel got a reaction from feralgrad in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Congrats on your acceptances!! I guess the real question comes down to how much in loans you'd have to take out to go to your dream school, and if you feel it's do-able to pay it back. Worst case scenario the dream school helps you with your writing but the job you get afterwards doesn't pay a ton of $ (but who knows! You mention connections are a factor, but you also mention that an MFA is risky no matter what, right?)
     Using a loan calculator might help determine how much interest you'd be paying and how long it might take to pay off. Obviously if you feel that you could work a bit on the side and pay it off w/o stressing yourself out horribly, then maybe it's worth considering if you truly think you'd regret turning it town. Another thing you're probably already looking into but that's worth mentioning: how much does it cost to live in DC? Would  you have to take additional loans for housing, too? 
     Whatever you decide, I hope you're talking to current students!! I'm sure they have a lot more insight on how the funding situation has worked for or against them. Again, congrats and best of luck! 
     
  13. Like
    teasel got a reaction from M-Lin in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I'm pretty sure I'll be accepting my offer from UVA!!! I've been hesitate to talk about it because things feel up in the air still in some ways. The faculty are so insanely talented and the faculty member I spoke to was very kind and happy to answer my questions. Honestly feel like this is the best fit for me. At this point I'm taking myself off a few waitlists, but I'm still waiting to hear back about my waitlist to University of Michigan, mostly because the funding is so great but also because I miss living near my family in the midwest. If I was fortunate enough to get accepted off the waitlist, I would at least consider it. I think what makes me anxious about UVA is the fact that I've never lived in the south east part of the US! But I think it would be pretty exciting, too. 
  14. Upvote
    teasel got a reaction from turtlesfordays in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Congrats on your acceptances!! I guess the real question comes down to how much in loans you'd have to take out to go to your dream school, and if you feel it's do-able to pay it back. Worst case scenario the dream school helps you with your writing but the job you get afterwards doesn't pay a ton of $ (but who knows! You mention connections are a factor, but you also mention that an MFA is risky no matter what, right?)
     Using a loan calculator might help determine how much interest you'd be paying and how long it might take to pay off. Obviously if you feel that you could work a bit on the side and pay it off w/o stressing yourself out horribly, then maybe it's worth considering if you truly think you'd regret turning it town. Another thing you're probably already looking into but that's worth mentioning: how much does it cost to live in DC? Would  you have to take additional loans for housing, too? 
     Whatever you decide, I hope you're talking to current students!! I'm sure they have a lot more insight on how the funding situation has worked for or against them. Again, congrats and best of luck! 
     
  15. Like
    teasel got a reaction from itsalwayssunnyinjackie in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Congrats on your acceptances!! I guess the real question comes down to how much in loans you'd have to take out to go to your dream school, and if you feel it's do-able to pay it back. Worst case scenario the dream school helps you with your writing but the job you get afterwards doesn't pay a ton of $ (but who knows! You mention connections are a factor, but you also mention that an MFA is risky no matter what, right?)
     Using a loan calculator might help determine how much interest you'd be paying and how long it might take to pay off. Obviously if you feel that you could work a bit on the side and pay it off w/o stressing yourself out horribly, then maybe it's worth considering if you truly think you'd regret turning it town. Another thing you're probably already looking into but that's worth mentioning: how much does it cost to live in DC? Would  you have to take additional loans for housing, too? 
     Whatever you decide, I hope you're talking to current students!! I'm sure they have a lot more insight on how the funding situation has worked for or against them. Again, congrats and best of luck! 
     
  16. Like
    teasel got a reaction from lenagator1997 in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I'm pretty sure I'll be accepting my offer from UVA!!! I've been hesitate to talk about it because things feel up in the air still in some ways. The faculty are so insanely talented and the faculty member I spoke to was very kind and happy to answer my questions. Honestly feel like this is the best fit for me. At this point I'm taking myself off a few waitlists, but I'm still waiting to hear back about my waitlist to University of Michigan, mostly because the funding is so great but also because I miss living near my family in the midwest. If I was fortunate enough to get accepted off the waitlist, I would at least consider it. I think what makes me anxious about UVA is the fact that I've never lived in the south east part of the US! But I think it would be pretty exciting, too. 
  17. Like
    teasel reacted to itsalwayssunnyinjackie in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Hi! ❤️ I've been lurking for a while and accidentally posted this in the wrong forum first, so I wanted to ask here since this has been driving me crazy.
    I recently got into my dream school in DC for an MFA in poetry, with an offer of tuition remission around $26,000. DC is my dream city and I feel like the value in the connections and location post-grad could be amazing (I did my B.A in political science). I recently got off another university's waitlist and was accepted into a fully funded program in my home state. The program is probably less ranked (not that I really care, an MFA can be whatever you make out of it and it's a risky degree) I'm torn due to the difference in potential opportunities (career, internship, and location wise). I'm having trouble making the decision that would probably lead to me saying no to my dream school. Unless I shouldn't? Haha jk... unless...
  18. Like
    teasel reacted to cecsav in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I'll be at ASU
  19. Like
    teasel reacted to turtlesfordays in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I just had a Zoom call with Maryland about the waitlist. Apparently, they are only accepting 2 this year (which I had heard previously), and both encouragingly and tragically I was told that in a previous year when they had 4 spots open they would've accepted me. So now I just have to hope someone declines their fiction offer from Maryland so I can go!
  20. Like
    teasel reacted to lenagator1997 in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Hey have you guys committed to going to anywhere yet for your MFA programs? I'd like to know where you all are headed!
  21. Like
    teasel reacted to M-Lin in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Hey just wanted to let you know that this thread has a tireless troll that's been around the whole season. Don't mind them! 
    Best of luck with your negotiations! 
  22. Like
    teasel reacted to Ydrl in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Committed to New Hampshire.
  23. Like
    teasel reacted to oubukibun in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    I'm a 32-year old man (though I say 'man' but really want to say a tiny 30-year old dork who still looks about 20 when freshly shaven, hah) with a whole life ahead of him.  Thus far, I've been rejected from everywhere I applied (it's also my first 'cycle'), save perhaps BU, though I wouldn't even know how to speculate there.  I spent roughly a month on my SOP and 'preparing' my portfolio; really, these were largely poems I had written within the past year, and which I was quite happy with.  As I mentioned in a much earlier post, I was also a fool for including my favorite college-age poems so the readers could see the progression, if any, in my writing.  See?  Naivete happens in all stages of life (haha).
    In the words of a famous replicant, "I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe."  I may not have been to the shoulder of Orion, but when I'm quiet with myself, I appreciate all I've let myself live, and experience.
    Teaching, and writing, conjuring a thought and letting it crystallize in my mind, letting it atomize and become everything else...  Those are the only things I can say I am "good at" in a professional sense.  But I've also labored incredibly to get to this point, climbed an entire mountain of English to get here, because I love words, I love the sound my fingers make on a keyboard or a typewriter, the way a single comma can jut out and accent a thought, or, bracket it away.  When a phrase comes together exquisitely, it moves me to tears, and supersedes almost every other sensation, except perhaps that of the orgasm.  The first lines of William Blake's "Auguries of Innocence" are proof enough that there is a silver lining to existence, and it is the line that allows us to populate pages with letters, and by extension, with expression.
    I have never been told my writing is weak, or bad, or inferior, or even adequate.  And that's because only I have the right tools to decide that.  We can guide each other to a better sound, to a more delicate balance of parallel verbs and tenses, but we cannot judge the writing outside of its structures, not when we write from fucking bone marrow.
    How many times have you sat down to face the music, so to speak, and discovered what you want to say...  Doesn't have language yet?  Isn't that the ecstasy of it?  Having the Sword of Damocles peering above, ready to submit judgment on something that hasn't even been born yet?  Some people can write to make money, ghostwriting other people's thoughts or ideas, or even technical jargon.  I can't do that.  And, despite what people say, if any of you have ever read or even attempted writing fan-fiction, then I hope you have an appreciation for how liberating it can be, and how it can be a truer compass to someone's 'talent' or 'worth' than literary fiction (full disclosure: the only fan-fiction I ever wrote was a single story based on the show So Weird, from the Disney Channel, and this was yonks ago, haha).
    I'm not certain grad schools anywhere in the universe can claim to be sufficiently equipped to truly accept people on anything but the invisible, tattered, and innately fickle subjectivity of the Moment.  I can't even be upset that no school thus far will have me.  Part of that is math (I only applied to 4 programs), and part of that is my own insouciance...
    Maybe I just don't care enough, and so the proverbial cream of my words won't rise to the top.  At the end of my life, though, what will that matter?  And if it does, will it matter more than being able to turn to your own writing, years later, to find a small measure of comfort, or joy, or even a reminder of the pain that keeps the pen filled?
    I'd love to tell the stories I have in me, and I'd love for Boston to get back to me and say, "Yes!"  But at the end of the day, I earnestly believe, whole-heart as they say, that if we do not remove the self from this process, we are tainting the experience with simple untruths.
    We all have dreams, and sometimes, I think we get so caught up in what that dreams looks like on the surface, we don't heed the tiny little atom that keeps thriving and evolving even as we feel all "hope is lost", the same one that eventually we turn to, the one that whispers, Just because you have a dream, it doesn't mean it will come to you the way you've always dreamed.
    I was a member of a D&D group back in college, and those sessions proved some of the most fruitful for me in how to build a character, a real essence of a fictional other.  I spent all those sessions 'writing' even though a single word never went to a page.  Don't forget that we are writing all the time.  Proof is not always tangible to the body, and oftentimes, the most potent form of a thought will never be.  Dreaming of being a writer, published or otherwise, doesn't necessitate the flagellation of a desk or an ink and quill.
    The Sword of Damocles hangs above our heads, not because it wants to slice us in half, but because it wants us to remember that there is nothing more petrifying than the not knowing,
    And that we are eternally responsible for the answer to that question it torments us with,
    What's next?
    I'll keep the boulder rolling always.  It keeps my nerves from fleeing.
    If I don't hear from BU, I wish all of you, strangers I will never meet most likely, the very best, fully aware that may mean seemingly endless agonies and torments.  More rejections.  More waiting.  Depending on whether I receive a full-time job offer here to teach middle-school English, I may not try again.  If you're in that 'same' boat, don't despair, our dreams will materialize, we just have to be extra vigilant,
    Because, and this took me decades,
    It wasn't until I stood in the middle of Columbus, listening to "Adagio of Life and Death" by Joe Hisaishi that I understood that a writer, the writer that takes from his or her bones a piece to carve out the words, never stops writing even when the pages stay empty.
    The writing is the world, and we all deserve to make that visible to our selves, and if we can, however we can, to others.
    Pass the parcel, everyone.  Maybe one day we'll get to read each other and never even know it.
    That's a world I'm goddamn thrilled to continue writing in.
     
    Be merry while ye wait for your final results!
  24. Like
    teasel got a reaction from Graceful Entropy in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Hey guys, chiming in to give my two cents, for whatever its worth. I'm not on an admissions committee. This is just 100% my perspective, much of it subjective and based off of my last year of personal research. Take what's helpful, disregard what isn't. 
    *don't publish your creative materials on a public forum. You might wish to revise and send to lit mags, contests, etc. and it's a great way to make a piece essentially unusable. While not everything is publishing material, why take the chance? There are folks who have had materials from their applications published in top tier magazines after the fact
    *I don't know if adcoms are ageist, and anything we say is speculation at best (or as one person said, it's hard to prove either way). However, I think some folks in their 20's have an advantage in the sense that they often still have fresh contacts, mentors, counselors, letters of rec, etc... academic resources that are arguably much harder to gather when you've been out of school for awhile. Not saying it's always like this, or that it's fair, but it seems like an advantage. Ex: I considered reaching out to a professor I had a decade ago for a letter of rec, but there's no way it would have gone as far as a more recent writing mentor who could speak to what I was doing presently. That said, I think that older applicants have other advantages too, such as possibly more experiences to draw from, maybe more experience presenting themselves professionally, any number of things, really. Again, this is speculation. We're all on different paths, w/e age we're at. For reference, I'm 28 and have had a very unconventional education and been working in the service industry for many years. Not exactly "academic" material by pretentious standards. But hey, I was accepted to a "top five" program (if you believe in ranking) and I'm waitlisted at four fully funded programs, so I'd like to think this door is open for all sorts of writers. I do wish there was more transparency, but whatcanyado
    *there are going to be bougie folks wherever you go--the fact that any of us can even consider getting this degree is, arguably, privilege. I say this as someone who until this year didn't even have a savings account. But for real, there will be problematic dynamics at all of these places... that said, I wouldn't ignore red flags. 
    *Maybe there are literary geniuses who get into their dream school on the first try without doing ANY workshops, research, and without reading widely but it's the exception and not the rule. Try again!! Don't give up!! Unless it's making you miserable, or you realize it's just not for you, of course. I talked with so many folks this cycle, some who applied 4 (FOUR!!) times over the years, and one of whom got multiple offers from prestigious programs this cycle. It's okay to go back to the drawing board. Don't internalize the rejection, just learn from it. This was apparently a brutal year. And anyway, if we want to be writers, rejection is just a part of the deal. It sucks, but there it is. I cried over a lit mag rejection last week, but I'm already submitting other things... am I crazy? Probably. But if you really want to be a writer, you'll get through it and try again, because you *have* to... you gotta want this really bad. Hang in there!  
    *edited for general wordiness and a typo. Also I accidentally said I was 27 and I'm actually 28 lmao
  25. Like
    teasel got a reaction from Ydrl in 2021 Applicants Forum   
    Hey guys, chiming in to give my two cents, for whatever its worth. I'm not on an admissions committee. This is just 100% my perspective, much of it subjective and based off of my last year of personal research. Take what's helpful, disregard what isn't. 
    *don't publish your creative materials on a public forum. You might wish to revise and send to lit mags, contests, etc. and it's a great way to make a piece essentially unusable. While not everything is publishing material, why take the chance? There are folks who have had materials from their applications published in top tier magazines after the fact
    *I don't know if adcoms are ageist, and anything we say is speculation at best (or as one person said, it's hard to prove either way). However, I think some folks in their 20's have an advantage in the sense that they often still have fresh contacts, mentors, counselors, letters of rec, etc... academic resources that are arguably much harder to gather when you've been out of school for awhile. Not saying it's always like this, or that it's fair, but it seems like an advantage. Ex: I considered reaching out to a professor I had a decade ago for a letter of rec, but there's no way it would have gone as far as a more recent writing mentor who could speak to what I was doing presently. That said, I think that older applicants have other advantages too, such as possibly more experiences to draw from, maybe more experience presenting themselves professionally, any number of things, really. Again, this is speculation. We're all on different paths, w/e age we're at. For reference, I'm 28 and have had a very unconventional education and been working in the service industry for many years. Not exactly "academic" material by pretentious standards. But hey, I was accepted to a "top five" program (if you believe in ranking) and I'm waitlisted at four fully funded programs, so I'd like to think this door is open for all sorts of writers. I do wish there was more transparency, but whatcanyado
    *there are going to be bougie folks wherever you go--the fact that any of us can even consider getting this degree is, arguably, privilege. I say this as someone who until this year didn't even have a savings account. But for real, there will be problematic dynamics at all of these places... that said, I wouldn't ignore red flags. 
    *Maybe there are literary geniuses who get into their dream school on the first try without doing ANY workshops, research, and without reading widely but it's the exception and not the rule. Try again!! Don't give up!! Unless it's making you miserable, or you realize it's just not for you, of course. I talked with so many folks this cycle, some who applied 4 (FOUR!!) times over the years, and one of whom got multiple offers from prestigious programs this cycle. It's okay to go back to the drawing board. Don't internalize the rejection, just learn from it. This was apparently a brutal year. And anyway, if we want to be writers, rejection is just a part of the deal. It sucks, but there it is. I cried over a lit mag rejection last week, but I'm already submitting other things... am I crazy? Probably. But if you really want to be a writer, you'll get through it and try again, because you *have* to... you gotta want this really bad. Hang in there!  
    *edited for general wordiness and a typo. Also I accidentally said I was 27 and I'm actually 28 lmao
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