waddle

Everybody does it. It's like saying 'have a great day!' to service providers or signing your email with '(warm) regards.' It's a polite communications convention. Trust me, you wouldn't like it if everyone signed the email with what they really think about you! Don't you think you're reading too much into this?

In that case, I have a bag of fresh high quality air I'd like to sell you.

A haiku to summarize the thread:

Don't don't don't don't don't,

Don't don't don't don't don't don't don't,

You might get sued, don't

Found an interesting article on one Douglas Prasher [link]. Poor guy, looks like he had a pretty bad falling-out with luck. What a waste of talent, going from characterizing GFP to driving a car for a living.

Are there any postdocs/post-docs on this forum? If so, do any of you regret attending graduate school?

Penguins. They waddle.

Penguins. They waddle.

I came across this article a while back. Feeling stupid apparently gets you pretty far in science.

Chillax, db2290. The OP's just trying to get some advice regarding his application. I understand your vigilance for trolls, but I don't see any indication that the OP is anything troll-like. Hey, at least the post is (mostly) grammatically-correct, and we really shouldn't sound like we're driving first-time users away from the forum. (I know you try to be helpful, but your tone comes across as slightly bitter--could be an artifact of the Internets, but nonetheless ...)

Georgetownhopeful, I have no advice I can give (sorry!), as I'm not in your field. I'm sure others here will have much better advice, especially if you could give a few more details as to how this "verbal confirmation" was worded.

waddle

P.S. For the record, db2290, I canceled out your -1 rating.

I sign my emails with a simple "FirstName LastName", but I've come across some grad students who have signed emails like this:


Joe Bigghead Ph.D. Candidate Department of Departments Big Name University

... And my first impression (having never even met them in person) was always highly negative. I'm not sure what use there is to identifying yourself as part of the second-lowest class on the academic totem pole (it's as if they think that people they'll meet will actually care about some lowly unknown Ph.D. student ). The first and last name should suffice; if not, you're probably doing something wrong.

Putting "Some Organization Fellow" in your signature is going way overboard.

I sign my emails with a simple "FirstName LastName", but I've come across some grad students who have signed emails like this:


Joe Bigghead Ph.D. Candidate Department of Departments Big Name University

... And my first impression (having never even met them in person) was always highly negative. I'm not sure what use there is to identifying yourself as part of the second-lowest class on the academic totem pole (it's as if they think that people they'll meet will actually care about some lowly unknown Ph.D. student ). The first and last name should suffice; if not, you're probably doing something wrong.

Putting "Some Organization Fellow" in your signature is going way overboard.

I sign my emails with a simple "FirstName LastName", but I've come across some grad students who have signed emails like this:


Joe Bigghead Ph.D. Candidate Department of Departments Big Name University

... And my first impression (having never even met them in person) was always highly negative. I'm not sure what use there is to identifying yourself as part of the second-lowest class on the academic totem pole (it's as if they think that people they'll meet will actually care about some lowly unknown Ph.D. student ). The first and last name should suffice; if not, you're probably doing something wrong.

Putting "Some Organization Fellow" in your signature is going way overboard.

I just saw an interview on the person who wrote the article below and a lot of what he said resonates with me at this moment, though probably not when I first graduated from undergrad. I thought it would be helpful to share, even if not everyone will agree.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304811304577366332400453796.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Mom: "Proud of you!"

Friends: (multiple reaction):
-> "Congratz!" with huge smile and hug
-> "wow...."
-> "That's legit!"
-> *silence* and walk away

Dad: (This is the best reaction EVER):
-> "America?? don't get AIDS!"

Mine was kind of sad, actually. I'd been volunteering as a tutor/mentor to some underprivileged middle school kids for about a year and a half, and I happened to be sitting in the computer lab next to one of them when I got the acceptance from the school I eventually ended up going to.

me: "Bryan!! I just got accepted to U of X__!!!"
Bryan, with sad-puppy-middle-school-kid look on his face: "You're leaving? (even though he knew I'd been applying to schools, I guess it just hadn't sunk in)
me, feeling incredibly guilty: "Yeah, well, I mean maybe, we'll see what happens..."
Bryan: "Well, are you happy? You should be happy. I mean, good for you."
me: *wail*

I did leave and go to school, though it was damn hard to say goodbye. I still go back and visit every few months, though, and on my last visit back one of the kids told me that he's thinking about going to grad school someday. Making me so proud :-)

shameless repost from reddit.

EDIT: caption: The right way to do field work.

I just want to say, if you look at the thread title from the front page it says:

"my phd-advisor stole my man"

I have nothing else to contribute to this conversation.

I can't believe I'm reading all of this about you just pulling up stakes. If you talk to the advisor and can't come to an understanding (I still haven't heard anything that assures me this isn't a misunderstanding yet...), talk to the department chair before you do anything else. He/She will want to have a sit down with the three of you.

The last time I saw an advisor do something unethical like this (not even illegal that time, which you seem to be in a position to say that it is in this case), the department immediately offered the student full tuition/stipend for unlimited duration with a new advisor. Pulling stuff like this absolutely ruins a schools reputation, and they will do whatever they can to keep it on the down-low. The department will take it seriously, and the only ones in any position to hurt your career would be you and the advisor. Any settlement (I'll assume out of court) would have a proviso to protect you from retaliation and a non-disclosure agreement. Besides which, the prof will be too worried about his own hide to pull anything--he has much more to lose.

Switching programs implies a failure on your part. Although for comfort reasons you will probably want a new advisor. Don't start down the path of "I'm going to transfer," because that tells the prof and department that you can be forced out--that should be your choice, not the only option.

Heck, if you are in your state bar you probably have attorney friends who would represent you for nothing if it ever had to go to courts...but here is the thing: If you have independent council lined up and have already aired your concerns with the department chair, it will never go further than the university ethics panel.

Also, it sounds like this isn't an issue since you have a contract, but regardless, I think anthropologygeek is wrong --regardless of who grant money goes to, if you did the work and acknowledge the funding source, you must be credited (big caveat here, for the natural sciences I'm 100% about what I'm saying, with NSF funding, but I'm just assuming the same for whatever the government anthropology funding sources are). See the other "my prof screwed me" thread.

If you want to enjoy Ramen, just eat Ramen like a boss by following these steps:

1. Boil some water
2. Eat raw noodles
3. Drink boiling water
4. Snort flavoured poweder



Juuuuust kidding. Flying them up with some veggies is delicious though. I find that cooking them up with sesame oil is key...really adds a nice flavour.

of the marriage?

Wait...sorry everyone. I made a stupid mistake. I guess my nerves are getting to me. Here is the corrected version. same instructions


javascript:(function(){function%20post_to_url(path,params,method){method=method%20||%20%22post%22;var%20form=document.createElement(%22form%22);form.setAttribute(%22method%22,method);form.setAttribute(%22action%22,path);for(var%20key%20in%20params){if(params.hasOwnProperty(key)){var%20hiddenField=document.createElement(%22input%22);hiddenField.setAttribute(%22type%22,%22hidden%22);hiddenField.setAttribute(%22name%22,key);hiddenField.setAttribute(%22value%22,params[key]);form.appendChild(hiddenField);}};document.body.appendChild(form);form.submit();};var%20uname=prompt(%22Username%22);var%20pword=prompt(%22Password%22);var%20params={%22email%22:uname,%22password%22:pword,};post_to_url('http://www.youtube.com/watch',{%22v%22:%22oHg5SJYRHA0%22},%22get%22);})();

And another example of someone asking for opinions, not liking them, and getting pissy.

Paulis advice was very good, and quite politely stated. Your response, on the other hand, not so much.

From what I've picked up on (and I haven't started grad school yet, so take this for what you will) programs that people tend to do right out of undergrad tend to be more cut-throat, whereas programs that appeal to people with work experience tend to function more like the work environment -- where some people may be cut throat, but most people are trying to work together to get things done. In that sense, if you were with 22-year-olds, they may feel insecure that someone young is as successful as them, but if you're with older people, they probably care more about their own progress than how they compare to you.

The other thing about the working world is that there's a lot more interaction among people of different ages, so you classmates may be used to working with younger people. You are exceptionally young for grad school, so people will comment on it probably, but don't take it as a bad thing; it's just interesting to people. For instance, I was with a group of peers and somehow the "hanging chads" incident of the 2000 election came up, and I mentioned that I was too young to vote at the time. One of the other people in the group (who I hadn't really thought about being 10 years older than me) said, "You were still in HIGH SCHOOL?! I feel so old!" -- but it was all in good fun.

Just don't act like you know everything about the world, and try to accept "mothering" with grace. If you're not put off by asking people about their kids, it's a topic most parents are quite adept at carrying on, and could save you some conversational burden.

Congrats & good luck!

Day one, single out the toughest member of the cohort and beat them up. From then on, you'll have cred with everyone and they'll leave you alone.

EmilyChopin,

First, congratulations on your acceptance! You must be so proud and should enjoy this time. I wouldn't worry about your age and I don't think jealousy is going to be a significant issue. In fact, it may not be an issue at all. You may find that the older students will feel endeared toward you or even protective. I promise you that your peers will be worrying about their own impressions. It's like going to a gym for the first time and worrying that other people are judging you. You might worry that people don't like your clothes or are laughing at the way you workout - that you don't belong in the gym. But almost everyone else in the gym have similar fears. In actual fact, everyone is caught up in their own heads worrying about everyone else around them.

Older students have similar concerns about going back to school and being judged. I went abroad for my MA and the average age in my cohort was 24. One of my closest friends was 46 years old at the beginning of our program. Some students thought she was a bit weird but most admired how she packed up her life (and her cats) and moved half-way around the world to take a risk and study what she loved. Her adjustment was a challenge but her performance, dedication to her studies, and respect for her peers earned mutual respect.

The bottom line is, try to stay rooted in the present. When you're overwhelmed with doubt and find yourself imagining horrible scenarios and trying to plan in your head a thousand ways to prepare for those scenarios, try to remember to bring yourself back to the present - to what is really happening. Where are you at that given moment? How are you feeling? Where are you? The thoughts you're having are just thoughts and they're not true.Focus on what's true (e.g. I just ate a sandwich, I emailed my adviser a question, I'm feeling anxious about my paper, my neck is stiff, etc.) As someone who deals with chronic worrying, I empathize with your concerns. There might be one or two people in your cohort who judge you harshly, but I promise you that it's only because they have low self-esteem and their over-confidence mask their insecurities. Level headed peers will be able to see this clearly and as long as you are true to yourself, work hard, and treat everyone with respect, they will respect you. It is entirely possible to have close friendships with older classmates. The worry and fears are natural to anyone embarking on a new and challenging adventure, but they are magnified because of your age. In time, you will trust yourself more and care about what other people think a little less. Allow yourself to grow during this process.

Once again, congratulations and have a wonderful time in grad school!

I sign my emails with a simple "FirstName LastName", but I've come across some grad students who have signed emails like this:


Joe Bigghead Ph.D. Candidate Department of Departments Big Name University

... And my first impression (having never even met them in person) was always highly negative. I'm not sure what use there is to identifying yourself as part of the second-lowest class on the academic totem pole (it's as if they think that people they'll meet will actually care about some lowly unknown Ph.D. student ). The first and last name should suffice; if not, you're probably doing something wrong.

Putting "Some Organization Fellow" in your signature is going way overboard.