LadyL

I've been rejected off waitlists twice in past admission cycles, so I know what that is like. That doesn't change the fact that deadlines are in place to protect applicants from being forced into earlier decisions, when they themselves might be waiting for wait list decisions. Comparing me *following the deadline* with being mean to strangers is taking it a bit far, IMHO. Until the last few days, I was waiting to hear from one other program (now I have given up) so I had my reasons for delaying.

So as you know April 15th is the official deadline for decisions on funded offers.

One of the schools that admitted me emailed a few days ago asking me to decide by then, or sooner if possible because they had people on the wait list. Fair enough.

Today, I got an email that said the following:

Since we haven't heard back from you, we are assuming that you have decided to attend another program and we are going to admit someone from the waiting list who is also interested in working with [your POI]. If our assumption is incorrect, you need to reply to me immediately since we cannot wait until April 15 to make offers to recruits who are on our waiting list.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

I mean...is this even legal, if they belong to the Graduate Council and have agreed on the April 15th deadline? What is the point of having an official deadline if they are randomly going to move it up two days and demand that I decide RIGHT THIS MOMENT? What if I was in the hospital, having been hit by a bus, and didn't respond in time as a result?

I was planning on turning them down anyway but wanted to use all the time available so that I could be as sure as possible about my decision. I feel like that is my right to do since I am deciding my fate for the next five years.

Either way, I wrote a polite note back declining the admissions offer, but the more I think about it the more pissed off I am. To top it off, this is not the first time I've dealt with puzzling and somewhat hostile behavior from this administrator, but I was willing to write off the first incident because they were nice to me in person.

However this does make me feel a MILLION times better about my decision NOT to attend their program! Their funding sucked anyway!

I've been rejected off waitlists twice in past admission cycles, so I know what that is like. That doesn't change the fact that deadlines are in place to protect applicants from being forced into earlier decisions, when they themselves might be waiting for wait list decisions. Comparing me *following the deadline* with being mean to strangers is taking it a bit far, IMHO. Until the last few days, I was waiting to hear from one other program (now I have given up) so I had my reasons for delaying.

First of all, you realize this thread is from last year's admission cycle, correct? Thankfully I am already in graduate school so advice on this matter no longer applies. I see that you are applying this cycle and I remember how stressful the process was. That said I don't think there's any need to imply that I am/was selfish and immature in my actions, or that I didn't put enough thought into it. You're making a bunch of assumptions that reflect more on you than they do on me IMHO.

And FWIW I didn't spend "months making a decision" - I got an offer from this program in late March so I had less than a month to think it over, along with 4 other offers. I only put them in the "no" column maybe a few days before I got that email. And I still think they were jerks for changing the deadline at the last minute because it was more convenient for them.

I planned on spending exactly six days waxing rhapsodic about the grand, profound decision I was making and that everyone was hanging on. I figured that would maximize the romance and drama. I was crushed on day four to have my process interrupted with the surprising reminder that it wasn't all about me.

I really don't know where you're getting all this from but grad school as soap opera is actually kind of a fun literary style!

I've been rejected off waitlists twice in past admission cycles, so I know what that is like. That doesn't change the fact that deadlines are in place to protect applicants from being forced into earlier decisions, when they themselves might be waiting for wait list decisions. Comparing me *following the deadline* with being mean to strangers is taking it a bit far, IMHO. Until the last few days, I was waiting to hear from one other program (now I have given up) so I had my reasons for delaying.

So as you know April 15th is the official deadline for decisions on funded offers.

One of the schools that admitted me emailed a few days ago asking me to decide by then, or sooner if possible because they had people on the wait list. Fair enough.

Today, I got an email that said the following:

Since we haven't heard back from you, we are assuming that you have decided to attend another program and we are going to admit someone from the waiting list who is also interested in working with [your POI]. If our assumption is incorrect, you need to reply to me immediately since we cannot wait until April 15 to make offers to recruits who are on our waiting list.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

I mean...is this even legal, if they belong to the Graduate Council and have agreed on the April 15th deadline? What is the point of having an official deadline if they are randomly going to move it up two days and demand that I decide RIGHT THIS MOMENT? What if I was in the hospital, having been hit by a bus, and didn't respond in time as a result?

I was planning on turning them down anyway but wanted to use all the time available so that I could be as sure as possible about my decision. I feel like that is my right to do since I am deciding my fate for the next five years.

Either way, I wrote a polite note back declining the admissions offer, but the more I think about it the more pissed off I am. To top it off, this is not the first time I've dealt with puzzling and somewhat hostile behavior from this administrator, but I was willing to write off the first incident because they were nice to me in person.

However this does make me feel a MILLION times better about my decision NOT to attend their program! Their funding sucked anyway!

I planned on spending exactly six days waxing rhapsodic about the grand, profound decision I was making and that everyone was hanging on. I figured that would maximize the romance and drama. I was crushed on day four to have my process interrupted with the surprising reminder that it wasn't all about me.

I really don't know where you're getting all this from but grad school as soap opera is actually kind of a fun literary style!

I planned on spending exactly six days waxing rhapsodic about the grand, profound decision I was making and that everyone was hanging on. I figured that would maximize the romance and drama. I was crushed on day four to have my process interrupted with the surprising reminder that it wasn't all about me.

I really don't know where you're getting all this from but grad school as soap opera is actually kind of a fun literary style!

First of all, you realize this thread is from last year's admission cycle, correct? Thankfully I am already in graduate school so advice on this matter no longer applies. I see that you are applying this cycle and I remember how stressful the process was. That said I don't think there's any need to imply that I am/was selfish and immature in my actions, or that I didn't put enough thought into it. You're making a bunch of assumptions that reflect more on you than they do on me IMHO.

And FWIW I didn't spend "months making a decision" - I got an offer from this program in late March so I had less than a month to think it over, along with 4 other offers. I only put them in the "no" column maybe a few days before I got that email. And I still think they were jerks for changing the deadline at the last minute because it was more convenient for them.

I am sorry but this thread is such a hilarious example of "white people problems." Oh no, your boyfriend won't get his Ph.D. until two years after you! The horror!

My boyfriend has an associates degree and grew up in a trailer park. This has very little to do with how I view him as my partner. He is one of the smartest people I've ever known, he's just not great at structured learning. Amazing self teacher though. He's probably a better learner than me in a lot of ways even if I look better on paper.

One thing I've learned with time is that I care less about the status of my partner than how he treats me. If your priorities are different that's your decision, but don't punish your (apparently very loyal) boyfriend because of it. Either deal with it or leave him and find some bajillionare with 3 doctorates to date.

I planned on spending exactly six days waxing rhapsodic about the grand, profound decision I was making and that everyone was hanging on. I figured that would maximize the romance and drama. I was crushed on day four to have my process interrupted with the surprising reminder that it wasn't all about me.

I really don't know where you're getting all this from but grad school as soap opera is actually kind of a fun literary style!

So as you know April 15th is the official deadline for decisions on funded offers.

One of the schools that admitted me emailed a few days ago asking me to decide by then, or sooner if possible because they had people on the wait list. Fair enough.

Today, I got an email that said the following:

Since we haven't heard back from you, we are assuming that you have decided to attend another program and we are going to admit someone from the waiting list who is also interested in working with [your POI]. If our assumption is incorrect, you need to reply to me immediately since we cannot wait until April 15 to make offers to recruits who are on our waiting list.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

I mean...is this even legal, if they belong to the Graduate Council and have agreed on the April 15th deadline? What is the point of having an official deadline if they are randomly going to move it up two days and demand that I decide RIGHT THIS MOMENT? What if I was in the hospital, having been hit by a bus, and didn't respond in time as a result?

I was planning on turning them down anyway but wanted to use all the time available so that I could be as sure as possible about my decision. I feel like that is my right to do since I am deciding my fate for the next five years.

Either way, I wrote a polite note back declining the admissions offer, but the more I think about it the more pissed off I am. To top it off, this is not the first time I've dealt with puzzling and somewhat hostile behavior from this administrator, but I was willing to write off the first incident because they were nice to me in person.

However this does make me feel a MILLION times better about my decision NOT to attend their program! Their funding sucked anyway!

First of all, you realize this thread is from last year's admission cycle, correct? Thankfully I am already in graduate school so advice on this matter no longer applies. I see that you are applying this cycle and I remember how stressful the process was. That said I don't think there's any need to imply that I am/was selfish and immature in my actions, or that I didn't put enough thought into it. You're making a bunch of assumptions that reflect more on you than they do on me IMHO.

And FWIW I didn't spend "months making a decision" - I got an offer from this program in late March so I had less than a month to think it over, along with 4 other offers. I only put them in the "no" column maybe a few days before I got that email. And I still think they were jerks for changing the deadline at the last minute because it was more convenient for them.

First of all, you realize this thread is from last year's admission cycle, correct? Thankfully I am already in graduate school so advice on this matter no longer applies. I see that you are applying this cycle and I remember how stressful the process was. That said I don't think there's any need to imply that I am/was selfish and immature in my actions, or that I didn't put enough thought into it. You're making a bunch of assumptions that reflect more on you than they do on me IMHO.

And FWIW I didn't spend "months making a decision" - I got an offer from this program in late March so I had less than a month to think it over, along with 4 other offers. I only put them in the "no" column maybe a few days before I got that email. And I still think they were jerks for changing the deadline at the last minute because it was more convenient for them.

I've been rejected off waitlists twice in past admission cycles, so I know what that is like. That doesn't change the fact that deadlines are in place to protect applicants from being forced into earlier decisions, when they themselves might be waiting for wait list decisions. Comparing me *following the deadline* with being mean to strangers is taking it a bit far, IMHO. Until the last few days, I was waiting to hear from one other program (now I have given up) so I had my reasons for delaying.

So as you know April 15th is the official deadline for decisions on funded offers.

One of the schools that admitted me emailed a few days ago asking me to decide by then, or sooner if possible because they had people on the wait list. Fair enough.

Today, I got an email that said the following:

Since we haven't heard back from you, we are assuming that you have decided to attend another program and we are going to admit someone from the waiting list who is also interested in working with [your POI]. If our assumption is incorrect, you need to reply to me immediately since we cannot wait until April 15 to make offers to recruits who are on our waiting list.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

I mean...is this even legal, if they belong to the Graduate Council and have agreed on the April 15th deadline? What is the point of having an official deadline if they are randomly going to move it up two days and demand that I decide RIGHT THIS MOMENT? What if I was in the hospital, having been hit by a bus, and didn't respond in time as a result?

I was planning on turning them down anyway but wanted to use all the time available so that I could be as sure as possible about my decision. I feel like that is my right to do since I am deciding my fate for the next five years.

Either way, I wrote a polite note back declining the admissions offer, but the more I think about it the more pissed off I am. To top it off, this is not the first time I've dealt with puzzling and somewhat hostile behavior from this administrator, but I was willing to write off the first incident because they were nice to me in person.

However this does make me feel a MILLION times better about my decision NOT to attend their program! Their funding sucked anyway!

I've been rejected off waitlists twice in past admission cycles, so I know what that is like. That doesn't change the fact that deadlines are in place to protect applicants from being forced into earlier decisions, when they themselves might be waiting for wait list decisions. Comparing me *following the deadline* with being mean to strangers is taking it a bit far, IMHO. Until the last few days, I was waiting to hear from one other program (now I have given up) so I had my reasons for delaying.

I planned on spending exactly six days waxing rhapsodic about the grand, profound decision I was making and that everyone was hanging on. I figured that would maximize the romance and drama. I was crushed on day four to have my process interrupted with the surprising reminder that it wasn't all about me.

I really don't know where you're getting all this from but grad school as soap opera is actually kind of a fun literary style!

First of all, you realize this thread is from last year's admission cycle, correct? Thankfully I am already in graduate school so advice on this matter no longer applies. I see that you are applying this cycle and I remember how stressful the process was. That said I don't think there's any need to imply that I am/was selfish and immature in my actions, or that I didn't put enough thought into it. You're making a bunch of assumptions that reflect more on you than they do on me IMHO.

And FWIW I didn't spend "months making a decision" - I got an offer from this program in late March so I had less than a month to think it over, along with 4 other offers. I only put them in the "no" column maybe a few days before I got that email. And I still think they were jerks for changing the deadline at the last minute because it was more convenient for them.

I planned on spending exactly six days waxing rhapsodic about the grand, profound decision I was making and that everyone was hanging on. I figured that would maximize the romance and drama. I was crushed on day four to have my process interrupted with the surprising reminder that it wasn't all about me.

I really don't know where you're getting all this from but grad school as soap opera is actually kind of a fun literary style!

I've been rejected off waitlists twice in past admission cycles, so I know what that is like. That doesn't change the fact that deadlines are in place to protect applicants from being forced into earlier decisions, when they themselves might be waiting for wait list decisions. Comparing me *following the deadline* with being mean to strangers is taking it a bit far, IMHO. Until the last few days, I was waiting to hear from one other program (now I have given up) so I had my reasons for delaying.

I planned on spending exactly six days waxing rhapsodic about the grand, profound decision I was making and that everyone was hanging on. I figured that would maximize the romance and drama. I was crushed on day four to have my process interrupted with the surprising reminder that it wasn't all about me.

I really don't know where you're getting all this from but grad school as soap opera is actually kind of a fun literary style!

First of all, you realize this thread is from last year's admission cycle, correct? Thankfully I am already in graduate school so advice on this matter no longer applies. I see that you are applying this cycle and I remember how stressful the process was. That said I don't think there's any need to imply that I am/was selfish and immature in my actions, or that I didn't put enough thought into it. You're making a bunch of assumptions that reflect more on you than they do on me IMHO.

And FWIW I didn't spend "months making a decision" - I got an offer from this program in late March so I had less than a month to think it over, along with 4 other offers. I only put them in the "no" column maybe a few days before I got that email. And I still think they were jerks for changing the deadline at the last minute because it was more convenient for them.

I've been rejected off waitlists twice in past admission cycles, so I know what that is like. That doesn't change the fact that deadlines are in place to protect applicants from being forced into earlier decisions, when they themselves might be waiting for wait list decisions. Comparing me *following the deadline* with being mean to strangers is taking it a bit far, IMHO. Until the last few days, I was waiting to hear from one other program (now I have given up) so I had my reasons for delaying.