psycholinguist

I second everything said here. Judging by this and other posts on this site, you seem to be a wellspring of negativity.

I know several art majors. Art isn't a financially-lucrative field, but they're doing fine. They're also not accruing tons of debt.

Like Mal83 says, how did you not know about these things before attending? Maintaining a "B" average in graduate coursework is essentially ubiquitous across all disciplines and graduate-level programs (MFA, MA, PhD, whatever): it's not something you can really bemoan.

Hey, Just me!

So you are going to continue your studies anyway? Despite everything we have told you on this forum several months ago? If your school makes you so unhappy, why continue?

there's no way for her to not know how much money I bring in from any job.

Yes, there is. You are over 18. Get a bank account in your name, and when you get paid deposit your check in there or get direct deposit, and then don't share the account number or the balance with anyone. Don't even leave a copy of the account number at home where she can find it. And if she asks, refuse to tell her. There is literally no way that she can find out what the account number is or what your balance is unless she does something illegal like misrepresents herself as you at the bank...or unless you tell her.

She doesn't give me money, but I do live with her. I guess that means she can decide where I go to school since I'm not contributing to the rent (I can't with no job anyway).

It does not. No one has the right to force you to do anything you don't want to do - go to grad school, hold a specific job, etc. I know it's hard to realize when you are in the midst of such abuse. But NO ONE can decide where you go to school, or whether. If you stopped going to school today and just dropped out, what could she do? Nothing. Maybe kick you out of the house, but that might be a positive thing!

I have a LinkedIn account with my work posted...never once have I gotten anything from there.

Most people don't get job offers through LinkedIN...they don't just show up. You may make contacts on LinkedIn that can help you when you apply for a job, but jobs don't fall into people's laps like that unless they are quite privileged.

At the very least, I believe some of my private loans will get forgiven when my mother dies since she's my co-signer.

That's not the way co-signing works. As a co-signer, your mom agrees to pay the loan only if you default. She's like a guarantor. If she dies, you are still the primary debtor and you will still be responsible for paying the loans. She's just a little extra guarantee for them.

Your pathetic efforts to somehow make me believe that you're better than me = FAIL

Edit: By the way, efforts to delete all posts made in bad taste despite them all being immortalized in our replies to you = FAIL ....Bam!

That wouldn't bother me in the slightest either, especially given that there isn't much of an age-difference. Heck, we're in grad-school; by this point it would probably be weirder to be dating a high-school student than to be dating a professor. People bond over shared interests, after all, and people in the same field usually have a lot of the same specific full-fledged passions for the same topics and subdisciplines!

I think there might be a middle ground here, though, between flat-out lying about who your partner is and flat-out going, 'O HAI GUYZ, I'm dating a professor'. Just talk about him the way you would any SO, but if you're asked what he does, just say something along the lines of, 'oh, right now he's doing some teaching over at XYZ College'. Let them make their own inferences; most young professors were grad-students very recently, after all, and there's nothing especially shocking about a grad-student dating another grad-student. Your friends might probe the issue further, but you can continue to be vague and/or evasive without exactly telling lies. * grins *

No (major) major changes, but a degree change: from BM Music History/Theory Emphasis with a minor in Women's Studies to BA Music/Women's Studies (while taking most of the same classes one would need for a BM; just no recital and more feminist theory).

I didn't actually change majors, as I had always intended to major in poli sci. We didn't have to declare majors or minors upon entering, though, so I had started with the plan of a poli sci major and film studies minor. Then I intended to change to a physics major (a result of a temporary effusion of enthusiasm), but, after a semester of not doing so well in physics and math courses, I went back to poli sci and added a philosophy minor.

I don't even remember what happened in the last 7 years. Right out of school, I started down the path to mass media (I was already working as a journalist). Now i'm a veterinarian. What the? 0_o

My commute is 15 minutes by bike, 25-35 minutes by bus/subway. I like not living too close to campus, I actually enjoy having somewhat of a commute - some time I spend every day listening to music or reading a book and not working. I agree, though, that living too far away from campus can be difficult too. It depends both on the way you commute and the distance you have to travel. For me an hour would be too much, but 40-45 minutes is still reasonable.

Well, that may be the case, but IMO it's better to waste all that time, than to face the stress/exhaustion of commuting... been there, done that... it's terrible... I live across the street from my department and while I don't deny that I have often not been very productive after coming home, it has helped me a lot sometimes, when I needed a nap or some time off because I was stressed and needed some quiet..

On the flip side, I think there is such a thing as living too close to campus. Several people I know lived right across the street from the engineering buildings, and they said they never wasted so much time in their life. All of a sudden you can go home even if you have a 1 hour break, but the likelihood of you being productive during that time is low. It's also nice to have some sort of separation between your home life and your school/work life.

Ouch. Could be worse, though. (While working on M*A*S*H, Alan Alda commuted from New Jersey to Los Angeles every weekend for eleven years. He didn't want to have to move his family, and he figured that sooner or later the show would be cancelled.)

I was also a lot like your sister, and bombed junior year of HS as well, just barely passing my courses. I just didn't find the material engaging and I was bored and frustrated by my teachers, so I didn't go to class a whole lot and often couldn't be bothered to submit assignments or even show up for tests. Senior year of high school I freaked out, knowing that (in Canada) university acceptance comes down to your final year grades and I was so terrified I wouldn't get in that I turned into an overachiever. Got into a top school, cleaned up the awards on graduation night and continued to perform well and win awards in university. I'm now planning to apply for Ph.D programs in the fall, when it looked like I wouldn't even be headed to university when I was your sister's age.

My point is to not write off university for your sister after high school, because she can get it together and surprise you. I also think that gap years can sometimes have the opposite effect than what is intended, further pushing a person away from academics and making it difficult to jump back in. The two friends I have who took a year off and decided not go to university or college immediately after HS never went back to school. There are much better opportunities for young people with degrees, so a year off after high school may not be as meaningful or well spent as one would hope.

I took a gap year between HS and college. This was for religious reasons and in retrospect since I unfound god later, it was a bit of a waste in that regard BUT I did work and saved a ton of money for college and also coached my high school speech and debate team. I was and still am really into that However, I don't remember hearing about programs for HS to college gap years. If you're affiliated with a church, you might look into international service type of stuff through that organization. Americorps may have something for younger people, so that could be an option. Otherwise, maybe she can stay home and so lots of volunteer stuff locally. Does she have a GED? It sounds like bombed out of junior year means no diploma. Obviously, if she doesn't have a GED, getting that out of the way will be important.

I mainly posted to suggest that if your sister decides to go to college, she might want to look at liberal arts schools. They're more expensive, but the liberal arts environment can be good for people who really benefit from one-on-one attention. I went to Carroll College in Helena, MT. It's a tiny school and far from the East coast, but I think for bright people with potentially lots of interests who can get bored and might need individual attention to keep them motivated and focused, liberal arts schools are great. They're also great for driven type A people too Can you tell I'm on the SLAC bandwagon Anyway, best of luck to you and your sister!

I can't tell you the AW score doesn't matter at all, but I think it's safe to say that it's the least important component of the whole application packet. You'll have a writing sample and a SOP and in many cases, recommenders are asked to comment on non-native speakers' language abilities in their LORs, so you may get support of your skills there too. There's also a writing section in the TOEFL exam which is somehow easier to get through than the GRE writing sections (that was my impression, at least). I can hardly see anyone saying 'he has great essays and recommendations and a high TOEFL score but his AW is low so we can't accept him.' Really, If the rest of the writing "evidence" in your app shows that you are a competent speaker, that should be enough.

Most thrift stores are happy to take odds and ends (including random office supplies). I tell myself that it won't go to waste if I get rid of it; this is how I help convince myself to purge.

Depends on what you read before college. I read some theoretical stuff that has since proved useful. YMMV, of course.

But, you have to figure out whether or not it's on the way or if you'll end up spending almost as much in gas due to the detour as an inexpensive hotel room would cost. I paid something like $45/night on my drive, and that was for two people at hotels with free wi-fi and free breakfast. If you wanted Motel 6, it's probably only like $30/night. I drove cross-country but didn't stop to visit any friends or family because it would've required a 2+ hour detour in either direction and gas was near $4.50/gallon then.


I would just add a few things here.
1) I didn't take a GPS and have never needed it where I live. My new city is on a grid and all major shopping centers are along major streets that are easy to find. Plus, my route here was straight down two interstates, which didn't require a GPS to figure out. If you don't already own a GPS unit or have someone that will let you borrow theirs, you may find that you're better off going with your phone/iPad/nothing at all.
2) Roadside assistance can be invaluable, even if you just had your car serviced. True story: a friend of mine loaned her car to her partner two days after having it fully checked out. He started out on a 5 hour drive and the car broke down about halfway through that. Thanks to roadside assistance, he was able to have the car towed to his destination (which is also where the closest repair shops are). Considering that they share a car, she had no way to rescue him and he would've just been stranded on the side of the highway in 95+ degree heat.
3) It can be really hard to determine in advance what will and won't be useful to you. One thing you might want to look into is whether the books you're considering taking are held in a local library or not. Another is whether you'll need them for a course, a paper, revising your thesis, etc. Finally, you'll probably want to keep just a few books around that are pleasure reading for you. Oh, and if you're shipping via media mail, try to use medium-sized boxes. Otherwise, they can get quite heavy!



Mal83, you might want to think about your packing strategy more carefully. I've done the whole move 1500 miles in suitcases with the help of family thing, and it wasn't really that bad, though that was when the airlines didn't charge for checked bags. You may want to try to fly Jetblue (one free checked bag) or Southwest (two free checked bags) so that you can transport more things than might otherwise be possible. Definitely something to consider when purchasing flights. You'll also want to price out various shipping services (DHL, FedEx, UPS, USPS, Greyhound, Amtrak) before deciding which one to go with.

I think everybody conflicts with their advisor at some point, but even the negative interactions can have a positive outcome. The advisor I ended up choosing is the one I feel I know the least about him and his research group, so I am a little nervous about that, but I hope it will work out well.

Sorry for misreading, but that's how you present yourself by your own admission, like I said, you could be academically very good, but it seems like you purposely put on the "I'm gonna be bad news" thing just to prove that you're not and make people see how wrong they were to judge you as such. I'm saying that people aren't going to get that or appreciate it...but hey maybe you know some that do. And if I were a professor I certainly wouldn't appreciate students lounging all over the seats in a lecture hall and confidently bursting into class late while chomping on food...I wouldn't care if you were brilliant, it's rude and disrespectful. So it's your attitude that that's all OK because you're smart and don't care what anyone thinks of you that would probably result in a less than pleasant relationship. But if that's the atmosphere of your program then that's one thing and I also appreciate a relaxed comfortable environment, but respecting the environment that you're in is the mature thing to do. If this was your original post "we love the relaxed image, we work hard but make it look fun," I wouldn't have in anyway seen that as objectionable, I'd say that that's great.

I think you should not rush. 24 hours probably won't be enough. I'd say, give yourself a month. At least. It is different for everybody, you know, so it's hard to say how much time you will need. Just don't rush - but remember all the time that this is your aim, so don't spend too much time figuring it out either.

They don't "deserve" your time? What about you? Do you think you deserve their time? What if they think you don't because you look like you don't even care enough to dress appropriately. Especially in a university setting, you are one or several ranks below others. If you don't think they deserve your time, they'll send you home. Problem solved. I doubt that's what you're going for.
Ad. sweatpants being comfortable: Yes, they are. The most comfortable clothing for me is none. I like running around naked. Seriously. I do it a lot at home. But I don't go outside like this because I respect others (and I think it's even illegal in many states ;-))

In your previous posting you list so many things that are very rude and impolite: being late, putting your feet on an empty seat, copying others because you're too lazy to do your own work etc. And that you want to seem like you are confident about it is another sign of arrogance. I think you might be pretty young and you remind me of my 24-year-old brother who is going through the same phase in his life where he thinks he is the center of the universe and he can dictate the rules or at least break them without any consequences. You can of course do this (he's been doing it for some years now, although not in such an extreme way) - but don't be surprised if people don't react the way you want them to and if they just decide it's YOU who doesn't deserve their time.

One of the (many) things I love about being in graduate school is that by this point, the overwhelming majority of the remaining schoolyard bullies have found other places to be.

There's a world of difference between saying "Both genders should dress professionally for what is, in essence, a job" and "Girls should wear makeup, but not too much, because I like how it looks."

If your time is not more valuable than stopping by at ANY time and making an attempt to ruin someone's fun then...you need to evaluate your whole life situation. It's a forum for grad students...if you want the forum for jackalopes you'll need to google that. Otherwise, let us blow off steam and be silly and mildly creative as we please.