Ennue

I bet your program has a Writing Center. Go there. They exist to help you.

Edit: ugh, now it sounds as if I think the WC will write their paper for them. I don't. I think they are experts at getting people to write their own papers

Eisenmann--

Do not freak out!

When you get the exam back, find some place quiet, and read through the comments a few times. Understand why your performance was not what you'd have liked. Develop a plan to do better. Then, if you can, go and talk to the professor.

FWIW, I crashed and burned more times than I care to imagine. By treating those events as learning experiences and not worrying so much about the grades, most of the time my professors and I sought to turn the occasions into "teachable moments" so while there may have been a lot of frustration, exasperation, and anger, there was never any fear of probation/loss of funding, or of expulsion.

HTH.

Maybe you should modify your premise a bit to "Friends don't let friends get degrees there is no market for"- something that's true at the undergraduate and the postgraduate level.

That's not to say that there aren't some degrees that you find personal worth in getting, regardless of the job prospects, but it seems like there are an astounding number of people that don't do any research into the marketability of a degree before they get it.

Americans have a saying: "the grass is always greener on the other side." It sounds to me like perhaps you're having trouble adjusting and are trying to convince yourself that Columbia ("the other side") would be the better choice for instance happiness. But I think that thinking comparatively like this probably isn't helpful. No decision is ever perfect, and no school will be without its problems—I don't think that Columbia is necessarily your instant fix. Try, if you can, not to focus on lines of thought like, "Oh, if I'd only gone to Columbia, I'd surely like my neighborhood more...."

I think I agree with other posters that many of your difficulties may be related to the initial adjustment to a new school, a new program, not knowing anyone...also, I wasn't clear from your post, but have you moved from abroad to the U.S. for the first time, as well? It may be that you're also experiencing some culture shock. I would suggest you wait it out, definitely for the rest of the semester, if not the year, before making any decisions.

Good luck, and I'm sorry you're having some trouble.

This is not quite an answer on an exam or an assignment but I think it still qualifies: on a teaching evaluation under general comments and suggestions for improvement I once got the comment "The TA is too short, can't reach the top of the blackboard".

Not to ruin the party, but I have to say that I have huge issues with sites like "Shit my Students Write." Laughing at at something snarky a student wrote is one thing, but sites like that really encourage teachers to rag on students for their lack of understanding, and for missteps they take as they try (their best, as novices) to begin navigating the waters of academic discourse.

I wrote really embarrassing, really silly things as an undergrad. It would have really hurt me to know that my professors were laughing at everything I turned into them and sharing it with all of their colleagues.

Students trust us to help them learn, and we're often repeating adages to them like, "there is no stupid question except the one you haven't asked." I still vent to my colleagues, and I still trade stories about unbelievable things my students have done and said. But my new goal is to keep my badmouthing about students to a minimum, especially online.

</steps off soapbox>

First, don't panic

It's the start of a new school year, so a good time to make some changes.



I think it's time for some serious introspection. Ask yourself why you're not succeeding academically. This is like keener student 101, but at the minimum you should be attending every class, reviewing class notes regularly, studying for each test over time using distributed learning (not cramming), and not procrastinating assignments. Attend office hours if something doesn't make sense.

How's your time management? Maybe the RA work is taking up too much of your time? Family responsibilities?

I mean, ask yourself these questions--you don't need to tell the forum

Also, stop taking language courses


Transferring won't help because all schools ask for transcripts from every institution you've attended.

People will overlook an occasional oops but forty credit hours suggests a pattern. But it's only second year and not the end of the world; most places will give more weight to your last two years. To pull that off successfully, however, it should be clear that at some point you had an epiphany and were born again, and succeeded brilliantly from that point on. That way you can frame your first year as a lack of motivation or focus that just required a mental adjustment, not a lack of ability. Doing this is easier said than done--it requires you to diagnose the problem (see above), work hard, and improve.

Have you taken social psych? You want to encourage a situational attribution for the first 40 credits, not a dispositional one.



Research experience is awesome but not if it affects your academics. Good grades has to come first because without those it's significantly harder to get in the door.

You can't keep the transcript a secret forever, also because if your relationship with your supervisor is awesome you can use him as damage control. That is, two years from now his reference letter could acknowledge something like "Carly had some trouble adjusting in her first year, but as you can see she got straight A's since then, and she managed to do this while being a research champ in my lab."

Based on past threads, there seems to be some field-dependence. The idea is similar, but in some fields, the minimum grade that you should be getting is an A- rather than a B, and there are a few in which (or so I am told) you should be getting straight As.

But what you've been hearing is what I've been hearing, including from professors (who presumably know how academic hiring works). And I've seen how hiring works in industry research (a concept which exists for cog neuro as well as my field) - very few places care at ALL about your grades, especially with PhDs. They care about the projects that you've worked on, the papers that you publish, your technical skills, the quality of the research talk that you give at your job interview.

Think about it this way. Why should the people hiring you care about your grades, as long as they were good enough that your program was willing to certify your competence? You aren't going to be earning your pay by taking classes and acing exams. You're going to be earning your pay with your teaching and research. So they care about those. A 3.4 vs a 3.9 isn't particularly relevant (coming from a field/program where 3.0 signifies competence). It doesn't give the employer info that is useful to them.

If you need motivation to study, consider that you need to pass your quals, or you won't make it through the program. If that means that you study hard in whatever subjects you need for quals, but cruise other classes...well, that's triage, and triage is an important skill in grad school (or life, really). You should put the extra time into excelling in your research (and, if you eventually want a teaching position, your teaching), where you can accomplish real things beyond jumping through hoops to optimize a 4.0-scale number.

{{gentle hug}}

I had a rough first semester of my MA and downright horrible first year of my PhD. Here I am back for more.

So the good news is, it does get better, it really does. The beginning sucks, no matter what. (To be clear: the second semester of my PhD was bad not in and of itself but b/c it was basically a 'hangover' from the first semester.)

Feeling alone *is* the worst part of it. There is very much a culture of "pretending everything is hunky dory" in academia, even though nearly everyone is falling apart underneath the facade, at least/especially the first year. Is there a grad student support group run through your counseling center? If there is, GO. I cannot recommend it highly enough. (I had a scheduling conflict first semester last year and couldn't go. But I am convinced they are the sole reason I made it through the spring. Well, them, and long protracted phone conversations with, yes, my mother.) At least at my school, it's not group therapy in the traditional sense--which I've done for a different issue and have actually found quite counterproductive--it's basically grad students in all sorts of programs sitting around and venting. Of course it feels AMAZING to get everything off your chest IN PERSON, i.e. not just on the phone , and sometimes other people will have really good advice for you (especially the older more experienced students...I am eternally in their debt). But the absolute biggest value is that it completely beats you over the head with the giant Baseball Bat of You Are Not Alone. 'Cause let me tell you, I was convinced that I was the only person in my department at my university in graduate school who took an incomplete in a class, still couldn't finish the paper, nearly failed out of the program, cried every night, was homesick, loved what she did so much it hurts and would die if she had to give it up but didn't know if she could bear how crappy other stuff was, etc. (And keep in mind I had already been through First Year Blues with my MA! /sigh.) Grad student support group saved me.

As far as teaching goes--yeah, the beginning sucks. (The beginning of any job sucks.) But I guarantee you that your students aren't nearly as hard on you as you are on yourself.

As for friends--I finished the first entire year with basically no friends. It is three weeks into year two and I am rich in developing friendships, even if we don't have time to hang out beyond an hour for coffee after office hours.

(Also, if you need a dose of "you are not alone" right now, search this forum for "depression." You'll find several threads from last fall consisting of multiple people, including me, basically talking about how stressed and sad we are and how much grad school sucks and everyone says it's going to get better and why can't it just get better now. I was a stunning exemplar of maturity last fall, yes, yes I was. )

Honestly, reading dimanche's response I thought she may have been exaggerating. Reading your reply to her post, however, I am not so sure that she is. You are being very defensive and it doesn't sound like you are even willing to consider her suggestions. But isn't it possible that you are misinterpreting the situation? You had a bad first two years and you created a certain image in your colleagues' minds. Now you need to work hard to change it and you're not automatically given the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it's even assumed that there is something wrong with your work. It's up to you to undo the damage you've done -- you can't blame others for not trusting you. But are you really doing that, or are you just blaming others for your past and expecting them all to believe you've changed without giving them the proof they need? I can understand that your program is competitive, but that should affect your peers, not your advisor; advisors benefit from the success of their students, not from their failure! If you truly believe that your advisor is out to get you--and everything that you describe is true and accurate--then it seems to me that you need to change advisors, even if it means transferring to a less prestigious school. You can't produce good work with an advisor who hates you and you won't find a good job afterwards with her bad recommendation.

I had to take the GRE subject test far away from my house as well. I took the train there (it was Brussel) the day before and spent the night in a hostel. It was a cheap hostel - people were having noisy sex, my roommates left and got back in the middle of the night for partying, another roommate arrived with all her stuff at 3 am... Pretty funny actually, in retrospect But I suggest maybe splurging on a hotel, 55 dollars isn't that bad and at least you'll be well rested!

Everybody can understand 'Miffy went to the zoo'. There have to be things that are difficult to understand (i.e. which require good reading comprehension), because otherwise everybody will get the same score.

Everybody can understand 'Miffy went to the zoo'. There have to be things that are difficult to understand (i.e. which require good reading comprehension), because otherwise everybody will get the same score.

Be an advocate for yourself. Although you should/will have an advisor or mentor and may have some other informal mentors, they will be very busy and may not respond to your requests immediately. They also simply may not be the person who can help you. You also do need to learn how to stand up for yourself, because at some point you will be expected to be relatively autonomous. So scour that handbook and learn who does what - learn who to ask if you need a projector for a course, or if you need someone to unlock the bathroom after 7 pm, or if your paycheck is 4 weeks late (happened), or if financial aid arbitrarily decides not to pay you your TA stipend (happened) or yanks your financial aid and then doesn't tell you until you've realized it didn't show up (happened). And don't back down easily for battles that are worth it. This is especially important if your university has a wacky and/or slow bureaucracy and/or a habit of obfuscating how to get things done.

Your professor, no matter how nice he/she is, probably does not know the course requirements for you to graduate. And quite frankly, he/she probably doesn't care very much either - he/she is going to want to professionalize you - teach you how to do research, how to write grants, how to get published, how to network with others in the field, how to present at conferences. It's up to you to figure out what you need to do to actually get the PhD.

Learn how to say no. And learn how to *stick* to no. You can't do everything.

Best piece of advice I read - decide before you begin what you are not willing to sacrifice for graduate school (and academia). Financial stability? Your relationship with your SO? Geographical living preferences? Having children before 35? Buying a house? Personal time? And then...don't. Once I came to terms with what I was willing to give up, and what I would hold onto no matter the costs, I felt a lot more relaxed and comfortable in my program.

I am so sick of all of these doomsday articles that suggest that there is no intrinsic value to a humanities education, or that there is no value to education generally unless it helps one nab a cushy corporate job. I've had a cushy corporate job, and it drove me to grad school-- in the humanities no less! I know exactly what I'm missing out on now, and good riddance. I'd prefer to spend my life earning a pittance for doing something I love than pull a high salary and hate myself and my life every day.

Grad school, in many ways, sucks. It's hard, it's often demoralizing, you don't get much respect from the average non-academic (indeed you don't get much respect from the average academic), and--yes--I'll be lucky to get any academic job at all, let alone tenure-track, after I'm finished. But it's the best job I've ever had. My worst days in grad school are better than my best days in the cubicle. I love what I do, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I'm here. I know exactly what I'm getting into, job-wise, and I'm okay with that.

And P.S. I got my sweet, soul-crushing corporate gig with an undergraduate English major. If you know how to market yourself, a undergraduate humanities major is INCREDIBLY useful for business-related jobs and job-searches. Most humanities undergrads, however, hear so often that their majors are useless that they don't even bother to learn how to market their valuable skills. This is something we should put serious effort into rectifying. If we collectively learned how to market ourselves better, we might not have to endure so many lectures on our so-called "useless" educations from boneheads who can't compose an email to save their lives.

It's plagiarism as runonsentence has said, even if you were to call it something else, you are still duping a professor into thinking you did the research, you had the ideas, you had the skills necessary to compose an academic paper, and that by doing so you've successfully completed a requirement for the course. That's called lying, cheating, and academic dishonesty. And I'm not sure what else besides the unethical nature of the pay-for-essay service and how to combat it, there is to talk about revolving this issue. We all know that people cheat, lie, and steal, and all of them will never be stopped, that's a matter of fact, but shouldn't we get into how unethical, wrong, and dishonest this is? It's a valid topic of conversation just like any other and directly relates to education, which is why we all frequent this forum. You tried to get into the business yourself so it's obvious why you wouldn't want to. Your lack of judgment for the accused could be understandable in different circumstances. But we're not talking about stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving family, which I think just about anyone would do. We're talking about a complete and utter lack of respect for higher education, it's a privilege to get an education beyond a high school diploma, no one needs a BA, MA, or phD to make a living and lead a productive life. If there is truthfully a degree of desperation on the part of the student then they should realize that coming clean to the professor and accepting the consequences is the honest and mature way to handle the situation. These people, students and "writers" alike are making a mockery of this privilege and weakening the code of academic honesty and integrity that most of us respect.

The forum that I mentioned above is like the Jerry Springer show of the internet and I'm just absolutely positively intrigued at the conduct of these people. Yes, there are also many aspiring "writers" that hope to find a "good" company that will actually pay them for their work. Some of them have expressed outrage at not being paid by these scam sites that are based in the Middle East or Eastern Europe. Those that are already employed and successfully making money are just so proud of what they do, it's unbelievable. And the few that post about good experiences claim that they will "definitely use the company again." So basically they are paying someone else to get the degree for them and they're talking about it like buying a car or something, you have to "place an order for custom work." I can't get over the idea of someone paying for a dissertation, so pathetic, someone actually posted that they're willing to shell out a good $5000 if someone can recommend a good company. Higher education is a privilege and the students that actually seek out this service as well as those that are willing to provide it are diminishing that. Just me, you expected to be paid to cheat for someone who was too lazy to do their own little 3 page homework assignment or too afraid to tell the professor they're having a hard time, not sure how you're OK with that, but that's one of the points of this topic, to discuss how incomprehensible it is.

On the other hand if your advisor steals all your work, you'll have a hard time getting your career started to begin with. It's possible that some of your stolen work can't be returned to you without outright accusing someone of stealing, which may be a bad political move; but at the very least you should (1) stop working with this person, and (2) learn how to lay the ground so that you can demand credit for your work, if needed. This could be in the form of choosing your colleagues and mentors correctly (talk to their colleagues, students and *former* students, learn about their reputation -- no one can steal from others for years without anyone knowing about it locally, even if no one has the courage to stand up for themselves); documenting your work; spreading the word about what you are up to, making sure that more than just your collaborator knows what you are doing, so your work can't just appear under another person's name without your being able to prove that it's yours. If your collaborator knows that others are aware that the work is yours (e.g., it's on your website, you've talked about it in seminars or with other professors, you've presented it at conferences, etc.), they will be less likely to attempt to outright steal it. Which obviously doesn't help correct the past, but could help protect you against this ever happening again in the future.

+1 to Strangefox's original post.

I would urge the mods NOT to let 'Officially Grads' turn into 'What Are My Chances?' forum. It'll only drive the forum's current inhabitants away. It's the only place for us to discuss current grad students' issues, and there are plenty of other places for applicants to post their questions. Most of us surf the Applications forum and reply to threads when we have something useful to contribute. A lot of the time we don't, either because we don't know the field the OP is asking about, or the schools that are asked about, or there are not enough details in the post for us to give an informed opinion, etc. No need to 'bring those threads to our attention', which I assume would be the reason to post them in the Grads forum. We see them in their natural place too, and they annoy us (me, at least) much less when they are kept there.

I don't think anything is directed at you, rather the people who create an account to post "I have a 3.5, a 1200 GRE. Recommend me schools and tell me if I'll get in." I went back and re-read your post and it's significantly different, with many useful and relevant details, and a tone that's actually receptive to input. You didn't expect others to do all the work for you, and magically assess if you'll get accepted.

In regards to the posts that Strangefox is referring to: there's no contribution from the topic-starters afterward, there's no sign of prior research into programs and POIs - there's generally no appreciation, either.

We're all nervous about our chances - my first post was about my GRE score. But if you keep your concerns and questions focused and legitimate, there's no reason this community won't be happy to help. Nothing is absolute. This process isn't as predictable as we'd like, and consequently nobody can provide a perfect answer. This isn't a law school admissions forum, where we could utilize a formula with reasonable accuracy. There are way too many variables, and would-be "Chances" posters would be wise to absorb Strangefox's advice.

Ok, not little

All too often people post here asking what their chances are at this and that school. I completetly understand their desire to know the answer. However, I also understand why some other people get somewhat annoyed by this question. Indeed, it is very hard to tell what somebody's chances are at certain schools, even if you know their stats and other details like a number of publications they have. That is why I decided to write this post. I will explain how, in my opinion, one can estimate one's chances and choose programs correctly. I hope that other people experienced in application process will correct me if I am wrong and add their advice. And may be, if moderators consider this post useful, they will be able to make it always stay on top of this board - if it is possible on this forum.

First of all, if you want to know whether your stats (GRE, GPA, TOEFL score) are good enough for you to be accepted to certain schools - there is one easy way to find the answer. Most schools post stats of students they have accepted, like on this page here. So try to find this info on websites of schools you are planning to apply to and if you can't find it, ask graduate secretaries/coordanators if such a page exists and if not, where you can find those stats. Remember that if your stats are low but not abysmal, that does not mean that your chances are low. It does not (always) go like - lower the grades, lower the chances (unless they are above some bare minimum) and vice versa. Because...

Second of all, even with the best stats, numerous publications, brilliant letters of reference, etc. you may not be accepted to a school if you have not chosen a program wisely. Because the most important thing in this game is fit. If a program thinks they are a bad fit for you, they will not admit you, however wonderful your application is. So you should apply only to schools that fit well your research interests and experience. How can you find schools with a good fit? First, of course, you schould know what your research interests are. If you know that, visit as many websites of programs in your field as you can find - and read about them, very carefully. Where can you find a list of programs? Well, browse the internet. When I was applying last year, I came across a biiiiiig list of programs in my field (it was not a ranking, just a list) and I spent a lot of time just going through all these program's websites. If you don't find such a list, just find some rankings. Not in order to find out what programs are the best in your field (many people don't believe in rankings anyway) but just to see what programs are out there. So, you read about the programs on their websites. From the way these programs are described you should get an idea if you would be interested in studying there or not. When I was choosing programs to apply to, I first used the list that I had found to make a shorter list of programs with a very general fit. Then, as I knew that I would not be able to attent a program without funding, I looked through this new shorter list looking for programs that were offering funding. As you can imagine, the list became even shorter after that Then I started to read about faculty in the programs from the last list, looking for professors who could potentially become my advisors. Then I contacted these professors, telling them about my research project, asking about their opinion. When some replied and I saw that they liked my ideas, I asked them if they would be taking graduate students next year. In the end I had only 5 programs left and I applied to all of them.

About contacting professors. As far as I understand, you can do that in all fields, except - for some mysterious reason! - English. (Here I ask other experienced forumers to correct me if I am wrong.)
BUT: If a professor is interested or even very very interested, that in no way guarantees that you will be accepted to this program because there are many other factors at play during the application process (most important of them being funding and faculty politics). But of course having a professor in a program who has expressed interest in working with you is a very good sign. It is definetely better than having no such professor. If you find a profesoor who is willing to take you as a graduate student but you are unsure about your stats, you can ask them about that. But of course don't ask it in the first letter to them!!! Only when you see that they are interested (and friendly).

Finally, I want to say, that all I have told above is based on my experience and it helped me - I was accepted to a school with a great fit (which is supported by the fact that they decided to give me a nice fellowship). May be there are other ways to choose programs and estimate your chances with them. May be in other fields (I am in social sciences) rules are different. I hope that others will correct me or pitch in some ideas based on their own experience with application process.

Good luck!

I certainly do agree with you here starmaker...parents can give you a hard time if you don't play by their rules. When I decided to switch my major from the sciences to the humanities, my immigrant parents were very upset, and it took time for them to realize that I loved what I was doing and was good at it. They never threatened to cut me off financially, but of course, them just being disappointed intitially with my decision was hard for me to deal with, I felt like a failure. But the thing is, I knew that I was making the right decision for me...once I was confident in myself, I was able to face the fact that my parents wouldn't be alright with my decision. However, at this point, both of my parents are very happy about all of my accomplishments and have said that they are proud of me...one of the happiest points in my life. I share this story because it points to the fact that there are times where you have to find the confidence in yourself to do what is the best thing for you. If you don't do the best thing for yourself and things don't go well, there is a certain point when it is your fault and no one elses.

I don't think posters have been flip with the OP....I disagree with you here. The OP created an earlier thread discussing her situation, and most of the same posters on this thread were very sympathetic when it came to her situation...I think one poster even offered to pick up the OP and take her to a housing shelter. There was a lot of advice given in the gentlest way possible. However, the OP refused to even digest the advice given to her.

I think what is bothering posters is that instead of the OP focusing on getting out of her situation, she has turned to tearing down the school she is attending, even going to the point of attacking professors for being greedy, money-seeking individuals who don't care about their students. I think that is a very unfair characterization of professors...no one seriously goes into the teaching profession to make money.

But to end my rambling, I think that if you look at the prior thread, you will see that no one is being flip about the OP's situation...it seems like a pretty serious situation, and I can kind of understand what is going on. However, how long do you think the OP can vent about this situation without ever finding the courage to deal with it? For how long can you go on in life blaming your mother? I think posters have been overly generous giving advice to this OP...out in the real world, especially in the job market, no one cares about your family issues...you are solely in charge of what is on your resume or CV. I seriously hope the OP isn't banking on blaming her mother in any future interviews if she does poorly in her MFA program...with the attitude she has right now, creating this her vs. the academic institution situation, I doubt she will succeed.

Absolutely! I began TAing at 22, and I had seniors or non-trads who were my age or older, and that definitely put me in an awkward position. My first semester, I had a student who insisted on being my buddy, and would invite me to dances and hookah bars (no joke). The thing is, you have to remember that even if your students are your age, you still have more experience (academically, at least) than they do. And even though you may not be an expert in your field, you are more of an expert than they are. This alone should help you to add some professional distance and garner respect. The fact that you already have a degree doesn't hurt either.

As for the classroom itself, my advice may not apply to you if you won't be in charge of the course. At my school, or perhaps just in my department, TAs are in charge of the entire course. We design the syllabus and assignments (though the dept. does provide examples, and we have a curriculum wiki for peer support), and are responsible for all lectures, exams, etc. However, if your job will simply be to lead a discussion, or present a lecture, then you will need to focus solely on how you present yourself. Here are some strategies I use:

1) Avoid the "dead zone" in front of the podium or desk, or whatever surface you put your lecture notes on. I do this for two reasons. First, walking around the room, or at least from left to right, means that there is activity at the front of the room, which means the students are more likely to engage in the discussion, because you are physically engaged with your presentation of the material. It also allows you to give equal time to more students. Most of the rooms I've taught in have a lecture podium to one side of the room, meaning that if I stayed there, only the students on that side of the classroom would feel involved in the discussion. If I wander the room, I'm able to actively engage more students, making the experience a bit more personal for each student. Also, if you allow laptops in your classes, walking the room can help limit the amount of time they spend on Facebook. Second, walking away from your lecture notes tells the students that you know the material; if you didn't know what you were discussing, you'd have to have your notes close by. I doubt students are consciously aware of this, but I do think they believe that an instructor who isn't tethered to his/her notes is more comfortable with and more knowledgeable about the material.

2) Break the ice before each class with a learning activity. I play "big word hangman" with my students before class each day. Since I teach English, I use this as an opportunity to expand and refine their vocabulary. When possible, I try to use words that I know will appear in upcoming readings; this allows my students to practice what they have learned. It's actually quite amazing how much undergrads (and grads too, I imagine) still enjoy hangman. Plus, it's fun to write a word like "schadenfreude" on the board.

3) Be authoritative without being an authoritarian. You'll need to carry yourself professionally, and try not to let your insecurity show if you feel nervous about being at the front of the room, or feel out of place as the authority figure in the room. Still, you can do things that will demonstrate your position over the students without being feared or hated for it. For one, make sure that your syllabus is clear, strikes the appropriate tone, and sets specific rules and consequences for broken rules. The next step is to enforce the syllabus; students will know when you're letting things slide, and at that point it's almost impossible to regain your control. If you're the one writing the syllabus, make sure you don't create a rule that you aren't comfortable enforcing...the last thing you need is to feel guilty for punishing a student. The same principle applies to classroom management; be consistent in policing your students when it comes to text messages or talking out of turn or other disruptive behavior. If you call out student A for texting, but ignore student B, you'll lose respect in the eyes of at least one student.

4) Have fun. Students, in my experience, have less respect for instructors who are too strict or too monotonous in their teaching style. Good teachers know how to strike a balance between lecturing and listening, and you'll need to do both if you want to keep the classroom dynamic on your side. And don't be afraid to give "real world" examples for complex material. I have used LOLcats and movie/TV references as teaching tools, and with great success.

The trick is to engage your students while still making it clear that you're the leader. They need to feel like they can contribute to the class, but also that the class has some structure to it. You definitely don't need a free-for-all discussion, and you definitely don't want everyone on their phones or laptops ignoring what you're saying. Think about the best classes you've taken, and the best teachers you've had, and try to model their actions.

Hope that helps!

Passive-aggressive is *never* a constructive or mature way to go. Be professional and mature, and speak directly to the other grad student about your concerns. Keep written records (emails, meeting minutes, etc.), if possible, in case it does eventually become necessary to speak to someone with more seniority/authority. But, really, the two of you are colleagues and grown-ups; surely you can work it out without mind-games and controlling and disfunctional behaviour that is considered a personality disorder.

I couldn't tell from your original post, but is this senior grad student in your group, or in another? I would imagine that changes things quite a bit. In the lab sciences, it's not that uncommon for there to be a very distinct hierarchy, and if your PI put him in charge, I'd definitely wait before going over his head to your PI.

I think it's a problem that he seems to be on a power trip, but I'd recommend trying to work through it in a more passive-aggressive manner.

There's always the possibility of "being in the middle of an experiment" during a proposed meeting time- it's usually a pretty defensible position, at least where I am. No one expects meetings to take precedence over experimental work unless you're talking like a once-a-semester multi-group update meeting.

I agree you don't want to set the precedent for him being in control.... But if he's a senior grad student, in your group, who's overseeing the project... He sadly IS in control of it. A lot of this depends on how highly the PI thinks of him- if he's the protege or golden boy, there's a lot less you can do.

The good thing to keep in mind is, if he's several years ahead of you he'll probably graduate before too long, and you won't have to deal with it forever.

If you're worried about him stealing your work/he's making you do things that are unnecessary, you could go the route of setting up biweekly/monthly meetings with your PI to go over your work- let your PI point out that some of the work is duplicates/not needed, and then lay it at the feet of the senior grad student. This also lets you firmly set up what is your work, which makes it much harder to "steal" in the future.

I would also start asking for explanations of portions that you think are duplicate/not needed- make him come up with a line of reasoning as to why you should do it. You don't have to do it in an argumentative fashion, phrase it by asking to learn. "I don't really understand why we need to do this experiment- it seems like it's the same data I collected already. Could you please explain why it's needed? I want to understand the bigger picture of our project." It's hard to get angry at these questions, but they can help to politely point out flaws in the experimental design.

If he's not asking about times for the meetings, have you tried saying "I can't meet then, how about XX"? If so, how does he respond?

From your post, I'd say you have a lot of room to politely set boundaries... But sadly, I also think there's only so much you can do if he's officially in charge. Some labs have much more distinct hierarchies than others, your lab may be one of those.