everygirl

I finally get to post on this forum! First admit.

I was at work and doing something so inconsequential I can't even remember it -- probably filing my latest expense report. I saw my blackberry blinking and the source of the email was "artsgrad" and then I looked at the subject line: "OFFER OF ADMISSION." It happened so fast I didn't even have time of process it, I just opened the email automatically and saw the best word ever..."CONGRATULATIONS!".

I celebrated by getting hives and throwing up in the bathroom. I'm not kidding. I had five twizzlers, an apple at lunch and two bottles of water throughout the day and throwing that up was horrifying, but I had a smile on my face the entire time...

Being on a waitlist for your top school is like that syndrome my sister (psych student) told me about: silver medal syndrome. Apparently, getting the silver medal is worse than getting a bronze because you were ALMOST there, but no cigar. Bronze -- you're just happy to have made the podium.

To those of who made the waitlist, we are so tantalizingly close. We are qualified, but there's something, something in our applications that wasn't up to snuff and thus, we weren't one of those lucky few who got a first round offer. What was it? We may never know. It may not even have been us, it may have been a circumstance out of our control, but it still means no offer. A waitlist may be better than an outright rejection, but if it means I don't get in, it's just dying slowly and in more agony. (Let me speak in hyperbole. I've earned it!)

Either way, if we don't get in, a waitlist is a promising sign -- it means we should apply again and better ourselves/hope for a less competitive cohort, but that dooms us to another year of this limbo. Not so comforting after all, really...

I'm getting really depressed about this. Sigh. Glad I have this forum to cry on.

Hello Carleton.

Your silence is deafening. You rejected someone on the board last week. But you accepted someone at the beginning of the month. So where's my letter/email/phone call?

Is it me? Is it you? Is it my gmail account? Am I refreshing too much?

Can you please pick up the phone, drop an envelope in the mail, stick a post-it on a carrier pigeon and throw the damn bird out the window and LET ME KNOW?!?!

Congrats!!
You're going to love Toronto, even though the rest of Canada seems to hate it.

I think the professor crush is incredibly common. I read somewhere that professor crushes are rarely based on real feelings because you're more 'in love' with the way they make you feel, as in excited about new ideas, thoughts -- learning, in a sense. Because we don't know this about ourselves, we mistake it for real feelings! "Intellectual infatuation" and "geek" really hit the nail on the head here, in that it takes a true geek to crush on a professor, because you're really crushing on 'learning'. I think all the professor crush really shows is that the professor is doing a good job in 'stimulating' exciting critical thought.

What's interesting is that you've never met him, so this crush is even more abstract. I don't have all the details, but if I can infer that you haven't started grad school but you're really excited about it, can I humbly suggest that you're in love with the idea of grad school itself and just transferring your feelings to your professor?

Anyway, I speak from experience: I always had crushes on my undergrad professors, but had a pretty intense one in my last year of school. At the same time, I always knew I would never act on any of these crushes, so even when I graduated, I didn't try anything with the one in my last year. I (kind of) knew where my feelings were coming from. My boyfriend at the time mostly thought it was amusing the way I'd dress up for class sometimes -- wear something sexy on a date with him and then wear a toned down version to class the next day. I had a lot of fun... the fantasy of him throwing me on top of his desk just stays with me! I mean, EDUCATE ME HARDER. And to answer your question, no, the feelings never really went away. I still keep in contact with him, so when he sends me an email I get a thrill. And I revive the desk fantasy.

My advice: when you meet him, just have fun with the fantasy. We all know the risks with showing any kind of feelings, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun in your head.

I finally get to post on this forum! First admit.

I was at work and doing something so inconsequential I can't even remember it -- probably filing my latest expense report. I saw my blackberry blinking and the source of the email was "artsgrad" and then I looked at the subject line: "OFFER OF ADMISSION." It happened so fast I didn't even have time of process it, I just opened the email automatically and saw the best word ever..."CONGRATULATIONS!".

I celebrated by getting hives and throwing up in the bathroom. I'm not kidding. I had five twizzlers, an apple at lunch and two bottles of water throughout the day and throwing that up was horrifying, but I had a smile on my face the entire time...

I think the professor crush is incredibly common. I read somewhere that professor crushes are rarely based on real feelings because you're more 'in love' with the way they make you feel, as in excited about new ideas, thoughts -- learning, in a sense. Because we don't know this about ourselves, we mistake it for real feelings! "Intellectual infatuation" and "geek" really hit the nail on the head here, in that it takes a true geek to crush on a professor, because you're really crushing on 'learning'. I think all the professor crush really shows is that the professor is doing a good job in 'stimulating' exciting critical thought.

What's interesting is that you've never met him, so this crush is even more abstract. I don't have all the details, but if I can infer that you haven't started grad school but you're really excited about it, can I humbly suggest that you're in love with the idea of grad school itself and just transferring your feelings to your professor?

Anyway, I speak from experience: I always had crushes on my undergrad professors, but had a pretty intense one in my last year of school. At the same time, I always knew I would never act on any of these crushes, so even when I graduated, I didn't try anything with the one in my last year. I (kind of) knew where my feelings were coming from. My boyfriend at the time mostly thought it was amusing the way I'd dress up for class sometimes -- wear something sexy on a date with him and then wear a toned down version to class the next day. I had a lot of fun... the fantasy of him throwing me on top of his desk just stays with me! I mean, EDUCATE ME HARDER. And to answer your question, no, the feelings never really went away. I still keep in contact with him, so when he sends me an email I get a thrill. And I revive the desk fantasy.

My advice: when you meet him, just have fun with the fantasy. We all know the risks with showing any kind of feelings, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun in your head.

I finally get to post on this forum! First admit.

I was at work and doing something so inconsequential I can't even remember it -- probably filing my latest expense report. I saw my blackberry blinking and the source of the email was "artsgrad" and then I looked at the subject line: "OFFER OF ADMISSION." It happened so fast I didn't even have time of process it, I just opened the email automatically and saw the best word ever..."CONGRATULATIONS!".

I celebrated by getting hives and throwing up in the bathroom. I'm not kidding. I had five twizzlers, an apple at lunch and two bottles of water throughout the day and throwing that up was horrifying, but I had a smile on my face the entire time...

I had this dream yesterday that I finally got a huge package in the mail from a school I haven't heard from yet. I excitedly opened the large envelope - and out fluttered a single sheet of big paper that said : NO!

I was so freaked out I woke myself up!

Ugh. This process is turning me into a crazy person!!

What a horrible time for a graduate admissions coordinator to be on vacation! That's like the Easter bunny taking a vacation on Easter. Dude, it's your SEASON.

Want to share a bit of good news -- got into U of Ottawa today. Yes, it's LATE, but it can happen! Don't lose hope. Good luck everyone!

And accepted to U of T today via post, fully funded. So...relieved!

I finally get to post on this forum! First admit.

I was at work and doing something so inconsequential I can't even remember it -- probably filing my latest expense report. I saw my blackberry blinking and the source of the email was "artsgrad" and then I looked at the subject line: "OFFER OF ADMISSION." It happened so fast I didn't even have time of process it, I just opened the email automatically and saw the best word ever..."CONGRATULATIONS!".

I celebrated by getting hives and throwing up in the bathroom. I'm not kidding. I had five twizzlers, an apple at lunch and two bottles of water throughout the day and throwing that up was horrifying, but I had a smile on my face the entire time...

I think the professor crush is incredibly common. I read somewhere that professor crushes are rarely based on real feelings because you're more 'in love' with the way they make you feel, as in excited about new ideas, thoughts -- learning, in a sense. Because we don't know this about ourselves, we mistake it for real feelings! "Intellectual infatuation" and "geek" really hit the nail on the head here, in that it takes a true geek to crush on a professor, because you're really crushing on 'learning'. I think all the professor crush really shows is that the professor is doing a good job in 'stimulating' exciting critical thought.

What's interesting is that you've never met him, so this crush is even more abstract. I don't have all the details, but if I can infer that you haven't started grad school but you're really excited about it, can I humbly suggest that you're in love with the idea of grad school itself and just transferring your feelings to your professor?

Anyway, I speak from experience: I always had crushes on my undergrad professors, but had a pretty intense one in my last year of school. At the same time, I always knew I would never act on any of these crushes, so even when I graduated, I didn't try anything with the one in my last year. I (kind of) knew where my feelings were coming from. My boyfriend at the time mostly thought it was amusing the way I'd dress up for class sometimes -- wear something sexy on a date with him and then wear a toned down version to class the next day. I had a lot of fun... the fantasy of him throwing me on top of his desk just stays with me! I mean, EDUCATE ME HARDER. And to answer your question, no, the feelings never really went away. I still keep in contact with him, so when he sends me an email I get a thrill. And I revive the desk fantasy.

My advice: when you meet him, just have fun with the fantasy. We all know the risks with showing any kind of feelings, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun in your head.

I agree with this too. Boundaries.

Just wanted to share: when I was younger, I was doing a summer internship in my field and was incredibly attracted to my direct supervisor. It seemed that he returned the feelings, and many a fun time was had as we lightly flirted and talked. But I was in a relationship and never considered anything beyond flirting, even though he was incredibly attractive. Plus, he was ten years older than me, and while that wouldn't be a huge deterrent now, I was 19 at the time, so I was very technically a teenager.

About a week before my internship was over he asked me to dinner -- which, as far as I could tell, was a date. I turned him down the best way I knew how ("Dinner? I have dinner plans with my boyfriend, would you like to come along?" Not the best way in hindsight, but I was young.) Surprisingly, I was completely skeeved that he actually acted on it and couldn't look at him for the final week of my placement. The horrible thing was was that I wanted to return for another summer, but knew he was going to be there too, and couldn't bring myself to do so.... I still don't know why it was okay to crush on him in my mind, but not OK to actually date him. I think it was because of our difference in status, and of course my relationship, which he fully knew about -- even more questionable.

It turned out OK -- I got another internship the next summer and managed to turn that into gainful employment after my undergrad, but I wish that I had acted differently at the first internship, so it could have remained a possibility. Never forget that even though he may be a former professor, you could still have to cut ties/ give up a professional opportunity if one of you isn't completely mature about it. In my case, it was me. Oh well. Lesson learned. For me, it was: have crushes -- you can't help them anyway -- but there's a huge difference between reality and fantasy!

Inculcate humility? Actually I'm proud of what I did as is every volunteer I ever came into contact with and the 3rd goal of the Peace Corps mission is to spread the word, to educate, to express the value of the experience, and if you so choose, use it as a foundation to enrich your own life, whether it be professionally or personally. The idea that people become volunteers simply to be inculcated by humility is a little naive, we do it to spread our values, gain experience in ways we never would here, to satisfy our own need to contribute, to advance our careers and create opportunities for ourselves. Don't get me wrong, we've all been humbled at times, gained an insight and appreciation for things we never would have otherwise. I'm someone who takes that very seriously, but let's be real, no one becomes a volunteer to NOT put it on their resume. And perhaps if you knew what professional program I had applied for you'd see the obvious connection instead of mischaracterizing my feelings of mild anger and slight resentment at a rejection from an International Development program which grants special consideration to Peace Corps volunteers as a "sense of entitlement." I'm not sure if there's any better base than Peace Corps to prepare you for a graduate program in ID so I think it has a lot to do with it. I spent over 2 years of my life in Ukraine, I'm grateful for the experience, but I also worked hard enough to earn the right to feel mildly resentful at a rejection from this particular program that I felt quite strongly about...there's a big difference between feeling entitled just because you are who you are and feeling that you've earned something and experiencing disappointment when those making the decisions don't agree.

Like I said, of course I don't know exactly how admissions did what they did, but I have a feeling, just a hunch, that I was at a disadvantage simply because of when I submitted my application. Was I angry at the thought of it? Damn straight. Like I also said, I got over it. And I wasn't the only one puzzled by the situation.

I didn't say that humility was the exclusive purpose of the peace corps. Of course I know people use it for career advancement, experience, and so on. But I don't get the attitude that it entitles you to being accepted or on the waitlist; your original post certainly made it sound like they owe you something. Now, you're right, I don't know anything about the program. If they say they give 'special consideration' which you feel wasn't extended in your case, then fine. You're entitled to feel however you want. But unless they somehow have a policy of accepting all peace corps volunteers regardless, I don't see, frankly, why you're special. Do you think others, those who got in and others rejected, haven't worked just as hard as you and don't deserve it just as much as you? It's a competitive process. Many of us feel like we've worked hard enough and have received rejections. Again, if the process was arbitrary, that is cause for complaint, but only on that basis and not because of your situation. And I'm sorry if I misread your views; I'm only going by what you've said, and it does seem to me that it boils down to "Hey, I was in the peace corps, now accept me. Anything less is an insult." To me, that is false entitlement.

Still awaiting a response from two. At the current time, even an rejection would be better than waiting.

There are lots of applicants to Canadian schools still waiting here. To get the best answers, I'd name the school you're waiting for so people can respond.

Don't lose heart! History shows (on the results board) that we don't get notified until April or May sometimes, and it has no bearing on our acceptance.

Not saying it's an inappropriate comparison, but there is one big difference: you don't pay to apply for a job. If people had to pay $100 every time they applied for a job, it damn well better be the case that they notify you.

I was wondering if anyone else felt just plain angry at two things:

1. Schools taking more than two months to revert back to you. Some have actually not taken a decision, and some might have but are waiting for God knows what (the most holy time?) to reject you. I have a hypothesis that you can tell a lot about departments about how soon they intimate their rejected applicants.

2. Those who do admissions on a rolling basis but do not inform candidates that this is their practice. So, I know one of the schools I've applied to does that.. but it took a phone call (international phone call may I add) from me to find that out.

Seriously, people: we paid you good money. Now earn it by keeping us updated on where things stand. If you havent made a decsion, its best practice (in fact you owe it to us) to email us (and not the other way round; and monthly if not fortnightly) to let us know that you havent made a decision, and by when you'd expect to make a decision. And if you feel hesitant to reject us outright, just let us know we are some waitlist of yours. But do some work, and use your fingers to type that email.

At this point, I dont even feel like going to the school from where I haven't heard. In fact, I want my money back. I dont why we guys take this behavior lying down. Some articles in the press need to be published.

Ha, I'd like see how my prof behaves when I am his/her RA, and take my time to revert back with my research. Maybe I come from the private sector and will truly be a misfit in academia.

My uncle is a professor at a well-known college. When he was applying for PhD programs, he was considered to be a topnotch candidate. He was offered admission plus all the grants and stipends to get him through 5 years comfortably in some of the most prestigious colleges in the country. A million years ago. As a professor now, he recognizes that the competition has changed many of the rules for acceptance and there is a good possibility even he would have difficulty getting into his preferred grad schools in this academic/economic climate. His advice to his students that seek to go on to grad school:
1. If you have talent and the inclination, start getting your references and potential LOR's lined up asap. You can never start too early in reaching out to make those connections.
2. If your prof's are encouraging you to go on to grad school, they must have a good reason. While their advice is not a guarantee for admission, do NOT limit yourself to just a couple of choices. Shop around and give yourself a good range of grad schools to apply to, ones that you would be happy to go to.
3. If you don't make it into grad school the first year you apply, look at your academic resume and spend the next year volunteering in labs, helping profs with research, taking extra classes, and try to get a job in some area related to your field. If it's a dream to go on to grad school, try again.

It's okay to feel angry, hurt, betrayed, disgusted, anxious...but use that energy to get where you want to be.
Best of luck to all of you. You've worked hard to get this far...
The End!

I 'm surprised that I didn't see this thread earlier.
First, good luck to everyone on the wait list. Second I did get off of the wait list the day before my b-day. This was my second time around and last year I was wait-listed and then rejected so I did not have much hope when I got wait-listed this year. But, people do get off the wait list and get accepted. Good Luck to you all.

Yes.

I agree with this too. Boundaries.

Just wanted to share: when I was younger, I was doing a summer internship in my field and was incredibly attracted to my direct supervisor. It seemed that he returned the feelings, and many a fun time was had as we lightly flirted and talked. But I was in a relationship and never considered anything beyond flirting, even though he was incredibly attractive. Plus, he was ten years older than me, and while that wouldn't be a huge deterrent now, I was 19 at the time, so I was very technically a teenager.

About a week before my internship was over he asked me to dinner -- which, as far as I could tell, was a date. I turned him down the best way I knew how ("Dinner? I have dinner plans with my boyfriend, would you like to come along?" Not the best way in hindsight, but I was young.) Surprisingly, I was completely skeeved that he actually acted on it and couldn't look at him for the final week of my placement. The horrible thing was was that I wanted to return for another summer, but knew he was going to be there too, and couldn't bring myself to do so.... I still don't know why it was okay to crush on him in my mind, but not OK to actually date him. I think it was because of our difference in status, and of course my relationship, which he fully knew about -- even more questionable.

It turned out OK -- I got another internship the next summer and managed to turn that into gainful employment after my undergrad, but I wish that I had acted differently at the first internship, so it could have remained a possibility. Never forget that even though he may be a former professor, you could still have to cut ties/ give up a professional opportunity if one of you isn't completely mature about it. In my case, it was me. Oh well. Lesson learned. For me, it was: have crushes -- you can't help them anyway -- but there's a huge difference between reality and fantasy!