psychdork

In trying to keep my mind off . . . well you know what, this is what I came up with:


New Disorder to be in DSM-V

Obsessive Compulsive Application Disorder (OCAD)

5 of the following 7 criteria must be present:



1) Several discrete (or not) episodes of failure to resist aggressive impulses that result in bringing up applications and/or graduate programs at inappropriate times.

2) Recurrent failure to resist impulses to check email at inappropriate times (e.g. in a movie theatre, at work, on a date).

3) No pleasure, gratification, or relief when checking email unless email contains new message from one of potential graduate programs.

4) Irritability or aggressiveness, often taken out on others applying to the same graduate programs.

5) Chronic feelings of emptiness.

6) Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).

7) The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

I am a bit of an old man at heart, but I hate the idea of those Kindle e-reader things. There's something wonderful about going to the library, sitting at your desk, and reading a book. I like being able to feel the book too. I hate reading on the computer and I can't imagine I'd like reading on one of those new-fangled e-readers. Now get off my lawn, Matlock's on and I've got some soup ready!

The object of the game is to get as drunk as possible so you don't really care once the rejection e-mails start to roll in.

Take a drink every time...

A science program shows up, and you remember that you are in the humanities.

Someone posts an "Other" about a mass e-mail.
...two drinks if you received that e-mail as well.

A school that you have applied to shows up, and even though it's not your program your heart skips a beat.

A school that you have applied to shows up, and even though it's not your program you check your e-mail/voice mail on reflex.

A school that you have applied to shows up, and even though it's not your program you run to your mailbox to check for snail mail.
...two drinks if it's Sunday.

A program that you have applied to shows up as a rejection, you have no new e-mails, and you just get even more nervous.

A program that you have applied to shows up as an acceptance, you have no new e-mails, and you want to die inside.

You bookmarked the RSS feed for just the programs you applied to.

You bookmarked the RSS feed for programs you wish you had applied to, so you can torture yourself if you Would Have Known earlier.

Someone posts a rejection with a note expressing bitterness.
...Two drinks if it's, "Their loss."

Someone posts that they received a notification a program is accepting only one applicant this year.

Someone posts a result from a program without rolling admissions whose deadline has not yet passed.

There is a forum post asking, "Who posted this result?"

There is a results search listing that asks, "Who posted this result?"
...Two drinks if it asks for GRE and GPA.

You are waitlisted at a program, and someone posts they were accepted there but are turning it down.

Someone posts a result for a subject you have never heard of.

Someone posts a result for a subject you are fairly sure does not actually exist.

Dear All Schools,

Accept me too! Once you see my awesomeness, your only regret will be not accepting me sooner.

Love,
Me

Dear All Schools,

Accept me too! Once you see my awesomeness, your only regret will be not accepting me sooner.

Love,
Me

Dear All Schools,

Accept me too! Once you see my awesomeness, your only regret will be not accepting me sooner.

Love,
Me

Dear All Schools,

Accept me too! Once you see my awesomeness, your only regret will be not accepting me sooner.

Love,
Me

Dear All Schools,

Please accept me ASAP because I am awesome and the waiting sucks.

Love,
Me

I will echo what's been said so far. (And, I might add, I was in a very similar situation last year).

You cannot underestimate the power of an honors thesis in your application. You also cannot underestimate the experience and wisdom you gain from going through the research process with a project that is completely on your shoulders. It's one of those things that everyone says but you never really believe it when they do, but I learned SO. FREAKING. MUCH. by doing a thesis, and professors recognize the maturity that comes out of it. One major point of maturity comes from pouring tons of time and energy into something that doesn't interest you very much. Consider the very real possibility that you will spend your first couple years of grad school doing something that interests your advisor far more than you. You will have learned the type of discipline required to put out quality work without losing your mind, as well as the time management skills to pursue your own interests. You will become a better writer. Your data analysis skills will sharpen like you wouldn't believe. Even if you think you're already above average at these things (and you may be), you would be amazed at the kind of improvement and growth you can accomplish.

Also bear in mind that the vast majority of honors thesis writers across the country didn't do something they loved. You do not, under any circumstances, want to come across as a quitter, because that is exactly the type of applicant they are hoping to screen out. Also, you may need a LOR from this advisor in the future; what would she have to say about your level of commitment and perseverance? What does it say about your flexibility as an employee (which is essentially what you are in grad school, in a way)?

I find it very strange that she is encouraging you to quit, because I can't imagine any professor at my undergrad saying that to any student...though that leads me into an important distinction: You said your undergrad is a small liberal arts college and that the faculty aren't very interested in research. My undergrad was a very research-intensive university with a very highly ranked social psych department. The reason I point this out isn't to compare you and me, it is to highlight that the advice you are receiving from your advisor may not be the most helpful thing for you if you are applying to big-time research universities, which I suspect you are. If that is the case, let me pass along some advice from the kind of faculty you are probably aiming to work with: DO NOT QUIT YOUR THESIS!

For what it's worth, due to scheduling/IRB issues, I had to collect my data, analyze it, write it up, and finish my entire paper in less than a month. It was a very, very painful month, but it can be done, and it is already giving me an edge in the grad school process. However, if a lack of resources becomes too real of a problem, have you looked into the possibility of an extensive literature review/theoretical paper as your thesis? I think it need not be an empirical paper to count as a thesis (though I'd check with your department/college).

I don't mean to sound harsh, I really don't, and I also don't like to bring my own experience into it that much because everyone's situation is different. But I have been there too, so please know it is coming from the wish to give you honest advice based on what has done me well (for the same subfield, no less). I agree that you really need a good break, and to come back refreshed and ready to buckle down. Show your advisor that your episode of lacking was just that- and isolated bump in the road and not something indicative of your personality. It ain't over til it's over, and it isn't too late to make an comeback.

PM me if you want to talk, as I'd be more than happy to offer support.

P.S. PhD Comics = Awesome
(but also makes me worry sometimes!)

I love my mother like a kid loves cake, but YES to all of your questions! Even after explaining the odds and how it all works she, a very smart woman in her own right, seems to only hear every other word I say. So, when I say "I am so anxious about getting an acceptance because I'm ready to start my life" she hears "I am getting an acceptance that will ready me for life."

No.

What i want is ONE person in my life with whom I can commiserate over all of the details and minutiae of this process. I want someone to agree that if I met a school's ridiculous Nov 1st deadline that someone could have made a damn decision by Jan. 8. I want someone to comb the internet with and agree that its almost a lost cause. I want someone to roll around in the muck with me.

My mother loves me. She says I am the smartest person she knows. She thinks I can just sashay into a school, pick a program and start next month -- preferably at a school close to home.

She doesn't get that I'll probably embark upon one of many moves to anywhere in the country that someone wants me. She also says things like "oh you can get a job at the local State Uni!" like its a bagel shop. Forget they are a research II and have nothing in my field or anything close to my interests.

One of the things to remember about these kinds of communities is that they are overwhelmingly populated by super-vigilant, highly qualified seekers. Basically the kinds of people who would get responses from schools. So it can skew your version of reality. If your only exposure to grad school was this board you would think having a 1300 on the GRE and a 3.8 with three conference presentations out of UG is normal yet the statistical averages suggest otherwise.

Most people, I'd wager, have not heard anything from a school and do not expect to. I would venture it is more odd to hear something than not, actually. Think of all the many applicants, particularly this year, and the very few people in a position to communicate with them.